As I ate, my thoughts wandered, and longburied memories and emotions suddenly surfaced. For the first time in a long while, I felt like I could open up and talk about my past.
"Jackie, you probably don't know, but I've been betrayed and heartbroken before," I began, my voice trembling slightly. "I used to trust, to love, and to have hope in the people who came into my life. They made me feel happiness, made me rely on them, and then they left, leaving me in disappointment and pain."
I stared down at my plate, emotions welling up in my eyes. "Each time, I had to pick myself up, to stand on my own again. And every time I fell, I promised myself I'd never let anyone hurt me like that again. I've worked so hard to become strong and independent."
Jackie sat silently, listening intently to every word. I could feel the pain and hurt rising in my voice.
"That's why I reacted so negatively toward you," I continued, my voice choking with emotion. "I'm afraid of someone coming into my life again, making me hope, making me feel happiness, only to leave. Right now, I feel like I'm fine being alone. I don't need anyone by my side. I can't bear to fall and start over again."
I paused, taking a deep breath to steady myself. "I'm sorry for reacting the way I did to you, Jackie. But it's how I protect myself."
Jackie looked at me with understanding and empathy in his eyes. "Elwyn, I get it. I don't want to scare you or make you feel uncomfortable. I just want to help you and Dennis."
I smiled weakly, feeling a bit lighter after sharing my feelings. "Thank you, Jackie. I really appreciate your help."
Jackie stood up, his expression gentle. "Elwyn, you should get some rest. I'll leave so you can have some time to relax."
I nodded, feeling more at ease. "Alright, goodnight. Sleep well."
Jackie smiled, "Goodnight, Elwyn. If you need anything, don't hesitate to call me."
After Jackie left, I sat in the quiet of my home, feeling a weight lift off my shoulders after finally expressing my feelings. I knew I could trust and open up to others, but I also knew I needed time to heal from my wounds.
The next morning, Dennis felt much better. He insisted on going to school. "Mom, I want to go to school. I feel better now," Dennis said, his eyes bright with determination.
I smiled, gently stroking his hair. "Alright, if you're feeling better, I'll take you."
Dennis quickly got ready, putting on his uniform and packing his backpack. Seeing my son recover brought me peace. I knew how much he loved school and his friends, and going back would help him feel normal again.
On the way to school, a sense of calm returned. Despite recent upheavals, life was starting to get back on track. I believed that everything would heal in time.
That evening, after a long day at work, Alise came into my office with a bright smile. "Elwyn, do you have any plans tonight? The team's going out for drinks to relax. Would you like to join?"
I looked up from my pile of paperwork, my eyes tired. "I don't have any plans, but I'm not sure if I should go…"
Alise grinned, "Come on, you've been working hard all day. You need to unwind a little. Leave your car at the office and come with me. I'll drive you home afterward since I don't drink."
I thought for a moment, realizing how down and exhausted I'd been feeling lately. "Alright, I'll go. But you better keep your promise and get me home safely."
Alise laughed. "Of course! We're going to have a great time!"
After work, Alise, a few other department heads, and I chose a cozy pub to relax. The pub had a comfortable ambiance, with warm lighting and soft music. We found a large table, ordered some food, and started toasting to the end of the workday.
As the drinks flowed and the conversations became livelier, I felt myself loosening up. The worries and stress I had been carrying slowly melted away.
One of my subordinates, David, halfjokingly asked, "Elwyn, when are you going to open your heart again? There've been so many admirers these past few years!"
I laughed, raising my glass in reply. "I'm just waiting for the perfect person to come along!" My playful response earned laughter from everyone.
Alise, sitting next to me, smiled but had a knowing glint in her eyes. "You'll find that person, Elwyn. I believe that."
I smiled back, though there was a slight bitterness behind it. I knew I had been through a lot, and opening my heart again wouldn't be easy. Still, the support and friendship from my colleagues warmed me.
As the night wore on, the party slowly wound down, and people began preparing to leave. Alise stood up, looking at me with a smile. "Ready to head home, Elwyn?"
The pub had quieted down, with only distant sounds of laughter from other tables. As we stepped outside, the streetlights cast a soft glow on our faces, reflecting the tired but happy expressions from our evening out.
Just as we exited, I saw Jerson, the planning director, stumbling from too much alcohol. He leaned heavily on Alise, mumbling incoherently. Alise, visibly worried, gently patted his back to steady him.
"Jerson, you've had way too much," Alise scolded, but there was a strange tenderness in her voice.
I watched, noticing Alise's clear concern for Jerson. I had known for a while that she had feelings for him and didn't want to leave him in this state.
"Alise, why don't you take Jerson home? I can call a taxi," I offered, seizing the opportunity to help her.
Alise looked at me, conflicted. "But I promised I'd get you home safely. I won't feel right leaving you to go alone."
I smiled, reassuring her. "Don't worry about me. I'll call a taxi, and I'll text you when I get home. It's fine."
Still hesitant, Alise helped Jerson into her car. "Elwyn, I'm sorry about this. I didn't want to leave you alone, but Jerson needs my help."
I nodded, understanding in my eyes. "It's alright. I get it. Take care of Jerson, and don't worry about me. Just make sure you send me the taxi's license plate."
Alise sighed in relief, thanking me before driving off with Jerson. Before leaving, she reminded me again to text her once I got home.
As they drove away, I stood alone on the sidewalk, watching their car fade into the night. A strange feeling stirred inside me. I felt happy for my friend but also quietly admired the connection I witnessed. Watching how Alise cared for Jerson, I couldn't help but smile. "Young love… so sweet," I thought to myself.