Newt clutched the bird-snake egg carefully as he, Jacob, and Garfield apparated directly to the door of the bank vault.
The moment they landed, Garfield leapt off Jacob's shoulder with a disgruntled grunt. His fur fluffed slightly from the sudden jolt.
"Ugh." The cat muttered, shaking his head. "Apparition. I've seen better spatial mechanics in a broken toilet portal."
He flicked his tail, muttering to himself as he walked with the elegance only a feline could manage. "My portals are smoother. This is barbaric."
Then he spotted the Niffler crouched by the vault door.
"Hey, slave." Garfield called, "What exactly are you up to now?"
The Niffler turned, eyes gleaming. "Boss, treasures. Loads of them. In there." He pointed to the vault.
"And…?" Garfield narrowed his eyes.
"I'm going to take them."
"...How?"
"Racial talent."
Garfield sat, tail curling. "Go on. Start your show."
"Watch closely, boss. Time to shine." The Niffler beamed.
With that, Niffler waddled up to the narrow crack beneath the vault door, extended one paw, and then, like liquid velvet, melted into the gap.
His entire furry body stretched and slithered through, vanishing into the vault.
Garfield's ears twitched. "Spatial magic…"
"No wonder your pocket's like a bottomless void."
Before they could react further, the bank's loan manager rounded the corner and froze at the sight of Newt trying to magically tamper with the vault door.
Newt "…"
He spotted Jacob nearby, still clutching the hatched bird-snake, and his hand darted for the alarm.
"Hey!"
WHAM!
Garfield appeared behind the manager in a blur of orange and fury, delivering a flawless flying kick to the back of the man's knees.
The manager crumpled like laundry.
"Petrificus Totalus!" Newt followed instantly with a petrification spell. The manager stiffened like a board.
Newt exhaled. "Thanks, Garfield. That was nice timing."
Garfield licked his paw nonchalantly. "Next time, bring me dragon meat. You can kowtow and bow as well, meow."
Newt, of course, didn't speak fluent Cat. He just nodded in polite confusion and turned to the vault.
The door creaked open.
Inside, the Niffler was caught red-pawed…his tiny pouch was already overstuffed and refusing to compress any further, but he was still trying to jam a heavy gold brick inside.
"Oi!" Newt shouted, rushing in. "You little thief! You can't do this every time!"
He scooped the Niffler up and flipped it upside down. Gold coins, watches, cufflinks, and gems clattered to the floor like a miniature treasure avalanche.
"Stop wriggling, you've stolen enough to buy the entire Wizarding World!"
"Boss! Big bro! Help me!" Niffler thrashed in protest.
Garfield ambled in behind them, thoroughly unimpressed.
"Slave…" Garfield said, ears tilted back. "Stealing is wrong. Haven't we been over this?"
"Huh?" the Niffler blinked.
"As emperor of the multiverse." Garfield sniffed, "I must uphold certain standards."
"And you…" He paused dramatically, "are a walking liability."
The Niffler's ears drooped. "Boss, I brought these as tributes... for you."
Garfield paused. "Tempting."
"But I won't be swayed by shiny lies, Meow."
He climbed onto Newt's shoulder, leaned in toward the Niffler, and whispered through a slow blink, "Surrender."
"I'll protect the rest of your... tribute."
Understanding the deal, the Niffler gave a solemn little nod and raised his paw in surrender.
Newt looked at the piles of gold, frowned. "Well... you did cough it all up. That's something."
Just then, footsteps echoed down the corridor, a patrol guard had found the petrified loan manager.
Newt glanced at Jacob, who was panicking again. The bird-snake had coiled lazily around his arm.
"No time." Garfield jumped down, tail flicking.
With a shimmer of orange light, Garfield opened a tear in space and yanked them through.
Two people, one cat, and one remorseful Niffler landed outside near the bank's entrance.
Newt quickly stuffed Niffler back into the enchanted suitcase.
He knelt, meeting the creature's eyes. "This is the last time, understood?"
The Niffler blinked innocently.
Newt sighed again. He knew the truth.
Niffler's compulsive treasure hoarding was what had separated him from his own kind. Most Nifflers stuck to scavenging forgotten trinkets and buried coins.
This Niffler? He raided vaults and planned heists.
And that, Newt realized, was probably why the little troublemaker had ended up with him in the first place.
Jacob was still in a daze, struggling to process everything that had happened.
Before he could make sense of it all, Tina appeared from the shadows, watching carefully.
As she approached, Newt and Jacob quickly parted ways.
Jacob reached out to grab his suitcase, but instead, his hand landed on something furry.
Garfield, perched inconspicuously nearby, silently nudged Newt's suitcase toward Jacob. Neither of the men noticed the switch.
Jacob unknowingly picked up the wrong case and vanished into the crowd outside the bank.
Just as they disappeared, Tina sprang forward, grabbing Newt and Apparating him away.
At that exact moment, Garfield leapt from Newt's head and darted off to follow Jacob.
Judging from how events were unfolding, the plot was going completely off track.
If not for his quick intervention, Jacob and Newt's storyline might have unraveled entirely.
He gave a smug flick of his tail. Truly, I am a master of narrative preservation.
…
Meanwhile, Tina brought Newt to the American Ministry of Magic. Because she'd been stripped of her Auror status earlier, she faced scolding from her superior.
Suspicious of Newt, the ministry officers demanded his suitcase, which Tina had reported as containing magical creatures.
They opened it to find… a pile of bread.
Grindelwald, watching from the sidelines, lost interest and left silently. Newt turned to Tina, distressed.
"Tina, where's my case? And where's Garfield?"
"The case? That No-Maj must've taken it! And Garfield, you mean the orange cat?"
"Yes! That orange menace!"
"Didn't you pack him with the case?"
"No! Oh no…!"
…
Jacob, oblivious to the mix-up, finally arrived home. He stood in front of a worn portrait of his grandmother and sighed.
"I'm sorry, Grandma… I didn't manage to open that bakery after all."
He slumped down on his creaky bed, feeling utterly defeated.
Then, with a soft click, the suitcase opened by itself.
A thunderous roar exploded from inside.
Jacob stared in horror as a blur of wings and fur burst from the case, first a rampaging Murtlap, then a serpent-bird hybrid, and then more, an invisible Demiguise, a venomous Graphorn, and others he couldn't name.
His room descended into magical madness.
Garfield, who had been lounging nearby and watching the disaster unfold like it was a comedy show, finally decided to intervene.
With a flick of his paw, he summoned a golden rope to tie the suitcase shut, then sprang forward to intercept the Murtlap, who had already latched onto Jacob's pant leg.
"Back off, rodent." Garfield growled, baring his fangs. "Or I'll show you what a Great Devour King can really do."
The air grew thick with primal energy. Garfield's aura, a predator's, radiated outward.
The Murtlap froze mid-snarl, eyes wide in terror.
"I-I didn't mean it!" The creature squeaked, trembling at Garfield's feet.
"Please don't eat me, Boss Cat! I'll go back in! I'll go back in!"
"Not so fast. Leave a souvenir." Garfield flicks his tail.
Without protest, the Murtlap yanked off one of its own tentacles with a pained yelp and scurried into the suitcase. The flap snapped shut behind it.
Inside, the Murtlap curled up in its nest, sniffling.
"Newt… where are you? I promise I'll behave next time. That orange monster is terrifying… wuwuwu…"
꧁𓊈𒆜༺⚜༻𒆜𓊉꧂
Phantom your way through a treasure trove of chapters waiting on P@treon!
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