Newt could barely process what was happening.
Garfield wasn't only a talking cat… his intelligence, sass, and sheer refusal to cooperate with even basic questions had completely shattered Newt's expectations.
Tina and Jacob wore matching expressions.
Queenie, on the other hand, was laughing so hard she had to lean against the table to keep from collapsing.
To her, Garfield was too adorable to handle.
She finally gave up pretending to take Newt's questions seriously and scooped the smug orange tabby back into her arms.
As Queenie hugged him with delight, another presence inside Garfield was far less thrilled.
Pandora, the Dark Monarch currently sharing Garfield's soul, radiated irritation.
In her mind, it was a humiliation of the highest order to be embraced by what she deemed a 'low-tier lesbian.'
She was a sovereign of shadow, after all, a force of dread and darkness. This behavior challenged her dignity.
In other words…
She was jealous.
Pandora growled from within, 'I swear I'll plaster your ugly face across every world in existence, starting with the one you came from.'
A faint aura of dark energy pulsed from within Garfield, and Pandora cackled with pride. 'Lucky we hid a stash of power from the Ancient One… My lord is truly a genius~'
She broke into an eerie little tune, humming to herself like a satisfied villain.
(≧▽≦) la la la
Gurgle... Gurgle... Gurgle...
Three stomachs groaned in unison… Newt, Jacob, and Tina all blushed. Dinner had been completely forgotten.
Queenie blinked at them and then gasped. "Oh! That's right, we were in the middle of making dinner!"
Still cradling Garfield, she pulled out her wand and started cooking with a flick and a flourish.
Garfield, meanwhile, was enjoying the warmth of her embrace when something strange happened.
His eyes widened.
Suddenly, a cascade of glowing runes flashed before his eyes, and a screen-like interface appeared in his mind.
Pandora's voice echoed with theatrical glee.
"Cat, prepare to be judged by the multiverse! Live Broadcast System… installed!"
Meow meow WHAT!?
"Didn't I shut the system off? Why is it back on again?"
"Because I want everyone to see your ridiculous face." Pandora responded smugly.
"My face isn't ridiculous!"
"All of it is. Hideous."
Inside Garfield's soul, a cat and a shadow elf bickered like an old married couple, while interface symbols danced in the air.
Before long, a full streaming dashboard appeared before Garfield's inner eye, complete with viewer counter, chat box, and bullet screen overlay.
(⊙o⊙) Oh.
As someone who used to stream competitive Blindman StarCraft II and Landing Box Royale, Garfield felt a dangerous nostalgia bubbling inside him.
The last bit of common sense in his head tried to resist, but the temptation to start streaming again was very real.
Should he start?
Yes?
No?
Start?
Still unsure, Garfield sneakily reached into Newt's coat pocket, fished out a coin, and flipped it high into the air.
Ping.
It landed… stuck vertically in a crack in the wooden floor.
"…Are you kidding me?"
He narrowed his eyes at the coin. "Fine. Be that way."
"I, Garfield, have come to this magical world aboard a barely functional dimensional jalopy, and I will not leave without doing things my way."
Broadcast: ON.
With a tap of his cute pink paw, Garfield activated the stream.
The world around him shimmered. A glowing interface appeared in front of his eyes:
Please select a view mode:
First Cat Perspective
Third Cat Perspective
As an experienced streamer, he naturally chose the more cinematic option.
'Third Cat Perspective' selected.
The interface shifted. A small third-person window popped up, showing Garfield from behind, looking heroic (or at least extremely lazy) as he lounged on Queenie's lap.
A semi-transparent chat window hovered beside him, ready for audience comments.
At the same moment, in countless parallel worlds, some strikingly similar to Garfield's original universe, screens and browsers across devices flickered to life.
A lazy orange cat filled the screen.
[Would you like to load: 'The True Face of Orange Cat – Live Broadcast Across All Realms?']
Some viewers assumed it was an ad and dismissed it. Others, curious or bored, clicked out of habit.
A few hardcore cat lovers clicked immediately.
No one had any idea what was about to happen next.
…
"First."
"Second."
"Third."
"…"
"When you see this, it'll be the 10,000th."
"Where even is this place?"
"Why does it look like a movie?"
"Wait, is that the weird guy from Fantastic Beasts? He looks like Newt Scamander."
"Come on, bro."
"That's Queenie and Tina! So pretty! Is this the Blu-ray version?"
"Wait, wait, since when did Fantastic Beasts have Queenie and an orange cat living together at home?!"
"Legend says this is the director's cut version. This streamer's insane!"
"Meeting the final boss?"
"Yeah, but why does something feel... off?"
"Did we just stumble into one of those legendary 'streamer-transmigrates-into-the-world' situations?"
"Anchor! Say something!"
"Speak!!"
…
The chat exploded. More and more viewers flooded in as the stream spread like wildfire across forums, fan pages, and Discord servers.
People started whispering about a new Fantastic Beasts cut that was somehow... live?
Was it real?
The term "Blu-ray Director's Cut Version, Orange Cat Edition" began trending among h book fans.
Curious fans who hadn't downloaded it yet frantically began searching for links and mirrors.
After some digital detective work and a bit of hacking around geo-blocks and regional filters, they finally found it, a strange little streaming platform they'd never seen before.
One download and login later, their jaws hit the floor.
Because it was real.
Very real.
Onscreen, Queenie Goldstein was twirling to jazzy swing music… while holding paws with a dancing orange cat standing on two legs on a dining table.
The cat wore a smug expression that could only belong to Garfield.
"Director."
"Director??"
"DIRECTOR WHAT IS THIS?!"
Some fans, losing their minds, called Fantastic Beasts director David directly.
"David! Not cool, man."
"Excuse me?"
"Didn't you say you never shot a second cut of Fantastic Beasts?"
"Of course I didn't. When have I ever lied to you?"
"Then how the hell is there a platform broadcasting a new version of the movie with a dancing orange cat?"
David blinked. "It's not April Fool's Day. What kind of joke is this?"
"No joke. I just sent you the link. Check Facebook."
David, frowning, pulled out his phone. Notifications were blowing up, Facebook was swarming with fan posts, memes, and confused speculation. Something was clearly going on.
He clicked the link.
A few minutes later, after registering an account and suffering through an ad about "interdimensional data transfer optimization" the stream loaded.
What he saw made him go still.
Onscreen: Queenie, in full costume, dancing joyfully in her kitchen.
In her arms, helping lead the routine, was none other than Garfield… his stubby pink paws held daintily in hers as they twirled in rhythm to peppy swing music.
The dining table was his stage. The lighting was cinematic. The mood was bizarrely perfect.
David stared at the scene, mouth open.
"Since when…"
"Did I film a version where Queenie Goldstein ballroom dances with Garfield?"
Onscreen, the bullet chat was moving so fast it was nearly unreadable.
"I need answers!!"
"Director explain please!!"
"Is this a Warner Bros x DreamWorks collab???"
"Peak fiction unlocked."
"Forget canon, this is better than canon."
The viewer count was skyrocketing past a million, and still climbing.
David didn't know what to think. Maybe he was losing it. Maybe this was some elaborate deepfake hoax. Or maybe, just maybe, reality had finally broken.
He took a shaky screenshot of Queenie mid-twirl, Garfield perched proudly in her arms, and posted it to his Facebook page.
"This is the first time seeing it myself. Let's watch it together."
꧁𓊈𒆜༺⚜༻𒆜𓊉꧂
Phantom your way through a treasure trove of chapters waiting on P@treon!
PhantomDream