CHAPTER FOUR: THE SINS I INHERITED
I left the Princess's chambers with her voice clinging to me like blood that refused to wash off.
You have taken everything from him twice.
What does she mean by that?
The doors closed behind me.
Almost too softly.
Almost as if the palace itself feared the sound of my departure.
I walked towards my chamber.
Not quickly though, never quickly.
An emperor do not flee from words, no matter how sharp they were. An emperor let them echo. Let them fester. Let them carve their way deeper until they either dulled or turned poisonous.
At least that's what I know about Emperor Li Shen from what I read.
The corridor stretched endlessly ahead, lanterns casting molten gold across polished stone. Servants collapsed to their knees as I passed, foreheads pressed so tightly to the floor I wondered if their bones would crack under the weight of fear alone.
Twice.
The novel never talked about the general background or anything whatsoever so that's why I'm unfamiliar with that statement "Twice".
Did I take anything from him before because all I know about taking everything from him is about the recent war and stripping him of his title and adopted family.
I had to know.
My fingers curled slowly inside my sleeves.
I stopped so abruptly that Jin Ao nearly collided into my back.
He caught himself instantly, boots halting an inch behind me.
"Your Majesty?" His voice was calm, controlled but alert. Like a blade half-drawn.
I did not turn.
"What," I asked slowly, "did she mean?"
The air thickened.
"by twice?"
Jin Ao did not answer.
That alone was an answer.
I felt something cold slide down my spine.
"What," I repeated, quieter now, sharper, "did the Princess mean when she said I had taken everything from him twice?"
A pause.
Long enough to be dangerous.
Then Jin Ao spoke, choosing each word like it might cost him his life.
"Your Majesty… I believe the Princess spoke from grief. Words spoken in grief are often... "
"... often the truest," I cut in.
The words landed like a blade against stone.
Silence slammed down between us.
I turned my head just enough to catch Jin Ao in my peripheral vision.
He stood rigid. Shoulders squared. Eyes forward.
Waiting.
" Why are you scared to talk ? Do not protect me from my own history," I said coldly. "Tell me."
His jaw tightened.
"Yes, Your Majesty."
He lowered his head, not in submission, not fear but acknowledgment.
"If Your Majesty wishes to understand," he said, "then the records must be consulted for I do not know everything about the general."
"Then bring them," I ordered immediately. "All of them."
I turned fully now.
"I do not want the summaries or the court-approved accounts."
My voice dropped.
"I want the original blood."
For the first time since I woke in this body, Jin Ao inhaled sharply.
"At once."
" yes, your majesty", He bowed before leaving .
When he left, I resumed walking.
My footsteps echoed louder now.
Each step felt heavier.
As if I were walking toward something already decided.
I scoffed.
As if
I knew I was walking towards something that I wouldn't like
----
The study greeted me like a tomb.
Cold. Vast. Merciless.
Scrolls towered around me ; some were mine and the others were not, they were of the former King of He'an. The records of wars won, families erased, borders redrawn with the lazy cruelty of a man who never had to look his victims in the eye was laid out before me.
I wondered how many people had died because of decisions made by the Emperor .
Made by me.
I sat behind the desk, spine straight, hands resting flat against the surface as though bracing myself for impact.
The first scroll was placed before me.
Ren Yu.
My fingers hesitated.
Then I opened it.
At first, my eyes moved quickly as it has been trained by years of reading fiction. Names blurred as they were a lot of them but none of them were significant at that moment as I was looking for his name. Dates passed. Official language smoothed atrocities into neat lines of ink.
And then, I stopped.
My breathing stuttered.
I read it again.
Name : Ren Yu
Age: ten.
Name: Zhang Yu
Age: Forty- two.
Name: Bai Yu
Age: Twenty-eight.
Punishment enacted by imperial decree.
Entire household executed.
A sound escaped me.
Half laugh. Half fracture.
"Ten…" I whispered.
"He was ten.. "
I pressed my palm flat against the page, as though the ink might burn through my skin.
"This isn't punishment," I murmured. "This is annihilation."
I leaned back, staring at the ceiling beams carved with coiling dragons.
So this was the first thing I took from him.
Not his title or his sword.
But his family. Before he was old enough to understand hatred. Before he even had the language for revenge.
I turned the page.
Execution of the Yu family
Zhang Yu: Executed.
Bai Yu : Executed.
Ren Yu: Escaped.
Survival.
Exile.
And then, Nothing.
It was as if he disappeared .
Another scroll was placed before me, now it was a scroll that belong to the former king of He'an, I opened it.
Name : Ren Yu.
Age: Fifteen.
Adoption by the Feng royal household.
He was granted a title, belonging and even a future.
My chest tightened painfully.
And then
The final decree, the final scroll.
Title revoked.
Kingdom conquered.
Family seized.
Name : Ren Yu.
Age : 32.
Status: Captured. Awaiting execution.
I closed the scroll slowly.
Twice.
"You killed his past," I whispered.
"And then you killed his present."
My reflection stared back at me from the polished bronze across the room.
Calm. Beautiful. Untouched.
Monstrous.
"These are the sins you left behind," I said softly to the man wearing my face.
"And now they're mine."
For the first time since waking up here, I felt something close to fear.
Not of dying.
But of what this body had already done.
---
The drums began.
Low.
Steady.
Relentless.
Each beat struck somewhere beneath my ribs, slow and deliberate, like the world counting down toward something irreversible.
I knew what they were and I knew why it is happening .
Execution drums.
Jin Ao stood beside me as I rose.
"The court is assembled," he said. "The Chief Advisor presides."
Of course he did.
"He always did love supporting Li Shen ," I murmured.
Jin Ao's gaze flicked toward me, sharp, searching.
I smiled faintly.
"Let's not disappoint him."
---
The execution grounds buzzed with anticipation.
Officials lined the platform in layered silks. Soldiers stood rigid. The Chief Advisor's face gleamed with barely restrained excitement, like a man attending a festival rather than a death.
When he saw me, he bowed deeply.
"Your Majesty," he announced loudly, voice ringing across the courtyard, "your presence honors this ceremony."
Ceremony.
I ascended the steps.
And every eye followed.
I took my seat.
"Proceed," I said calmly.
The Chief Advisor gestured grandly. "The traitor Ren Yu stands accused of defiance, insubordination, and... "
"... Enough."
My voice cut through the air like steel despite me talking gently.
He froze.
I leaned forward slightly.
"Tell me," I said mildly, "how many times have you rehearsed this speech?"
The Advisor swallowed. "Y-Your Majesty?"
"You sound.... too eager," I continued. "Almost… delighted."
A bead of sweat slid down his temple.
"I... uh... I merely serve"
"Yes," I said softly.
"You serve."
My gaze shifted.
Ren Yu knelt below.
Chains bound his wrists.
His back was straight.
He did not beg.
That was worse.
"Kneel properly," the Chief Advisor snapped.
Ren Yu did not move and a soldier forced his head down
I lifted a hand.
"Do not correct him."
The Advisor stiffened. "Your Majesty... "
"I said do not correct him."
Silence crushed the courtyard.
I studied Ren Yu slowly.
The set of his shoulders.
The tension in his jaw.
The way he held himself as though chains were an inconvenience, not a humiliation.
"So," I said lightly, "this is the man that wants my downfall."
Ren Yu raised his head.
Our eyes met.
Hatred burned there.
Exhaustion.
And beneath it — something dangerous.
"I hear you are loyal," I continued. "Tell me, to whom?"
"To my people," he said hoarsely.
The words rang out like a challenge.
A murmur rippled.
"And your Emperor?" I asked.
Ren Yu's lips twitched.
"Which one?"
The world stopped.
The Chief Advisor went pale. So did the guard.
I smiled.
"Oh," I said softly. "I like this one . I'm going to keep you. "
Shock rippled through the crowd.
"Killing you now," I continued lazily, "would be far too merciful."
The Advisor collapsed to his knees. "Your Majesty, he is mocking... "
"I know."
I stood.
"I have decided," I announced, voice carrying effortlessly, "that Ren Yu will not be executed ."
Gasps exploded.
"He will serve me," I continued. "Personally. As long as he draws breath."
Ren Yu's eyes widened, just a fraction.
"Never " he declared .
I descended the steps.
Slowly.
Deliberately.
I stopped before him and leaned down, close enough that only he could hear.
"Oh, you will, only my death would free you, and you know that's not coming anytime soon " I whispered.
His fists clenched violently.
I straightened.
"I have already taken everything from you twice," I said coldly to him.
"I see no reason to stop now."
The drums resumed.
And as I turned away, something settled deep in my chest.
This was no longer just survival.
This was war.
CHAPTER 5 : WHAT MERCY COSTS