It started yesterday.
That unusual feeling brewing under his mind, the hateful wraith and unwavering peace kept colliding.
When Naruto walked into his house, the pressure from outside disappeared.
No one was watching him. No one could see his expressions. No one could feel his sadness.
At this moment, the pressure built inside of him started pouring out, like a soda from a bottle.
Naruto didn't understand the memories or even accept them all at once.
If he could, he would be nearly as strong as the current Kakashi.
The only reason he wouldn't be stronger than him was simply that he hadn't mastered more Jutsu.
The future Naruto didn't need more Jutsu. Before Otsutsuki started popping out, he was already the strongest.
By the time someone prepared their Ninjutsu, he would've knocked them out cold.
That was the power he held.
So, with just Rasengan, weak Chakra Control, and Sage Mode that he could've accessed, he would only be able to fight Kakashi.
If he did get better with Chakra Control, he could also use Rasenshuriken to defeat Kakashi.
But for now, none of that was possible. Since Naruto wasn't accepting all of those memories and instincts at once.
He was afraid.
He had not gone through everything that the future Naruto did. He had only gone through one time where Sasuke sacrificed himself to save him.
Of course, there was also another time when Iruka sacrificed himself to save him.
But there was a difference in perspective.
From Naruto's perspective, Iruka was like a big brother to him. He was also the only teacher who slowly learned to accept Naruto.
On the other hand, he and Sasuke always disliked each other. But despite that, he threw himself in front of the attack to save him.
That made a strong bond between him and Sasuke.
But he didn't have any bond with Jiraiya, Fourth Hokage, or even his mother.
Naruto was a kind person. He was an emotional person as well. But when Haku took Sasuke's life, he was also ready to take Haku's life.
The only thing was that Haku went to save Zabuza.
That's why Naruto didn't have a life in his hand. Maybe he would've chickened out at the last moment, but there was a hatred in his heart.
That hatred vanished when he found that Sasuke hadn't died.
But a new hatred brewed in his heart.
Sure, he was a loudmouth idiot, but it wasn't like he would go around crying in front of others because he didn't have friends.
At this moment, he couldn't help but remember the same thing he said to Hinata when he was young.
'Look, I am all alone, but I don't cry.'
So, he could control his tears. He could control his sadness. He could mask his pain.
Hiruzen should've known this. He was the person who watched over Naruto for twelve years.
So, he should know what kind of person Naruto was.
But then, why hide it?
Why couldn't he just say he couldn't reveal his parents' identity to the public, otherwise it would lead to countless assassination attempts?
It's not like that wasn't a possibility.
Hinata, from one of the most prestigious and powerful family got kidnapped. What's stopping him from getting kidnapped?
And more importantly, what's stopping him from going berserk after getting kidnapped?
Old Man Hiruzen wasn't a bad person, so why not tell him that Leaf didn't have the shinobi to protect him all the time?
Naruto lacked much of the basic knowledge, not because he was an idiot, but simply because he didn't learn properly.
There was no one to force him to study.
He didn't have the motivation to study. Motivation wouldn't just come out of nowhere.
His motivation for strength came from his unwillingness to lose to Sasuke.
Since Hiruzen didn't even consider this possibility and kept lying to him, what else could Naruto believe?
After all, to Naruto, Hiruzen was just a liar.
At least with Hiruzen, he could understand. The old man was the Hokage. He needed to think from the perspective of the village.
But what about Jiraiya?
He didn't think much about Kakashi, simply because he didn't expect anything from Kakashi.
Even knowing he was Minato's son, Kakashi never favored him over Sasuke.
And, he didn't need to think too much.
After all, Kakashi was just his Jonin instructor. If Fourth Hokage and his mother were alive, Kakashi would've been his older brother.
But that wasn't possible since his parents were already dead.
And, Kakashi never made an attempt to be his brother. So, Naruto wouldn't go out of his way to consider him an older brother.
Jiraiya was his Godfather. He was supposed to take care of Naruto.
So, what did he do?
He bailed out. He ran away in search of something that seemed more important than his godson.
At this moment, he couldn't help but wonder.
Did Jiraiya treat him so much better because he was Naruto Uzumaki, or did he do that because he saw him as the Child of Prophecy?
That thought lingered in his mind.
His twelve-year-old mind couldn't comprehend this level of emotion as he started breaking down.
Why was he thinking about Jiraiya?
Why was he thinking about the Fourth Hokage?
Why was he thinking if his past could have been better?
Why couldn't he just forget all of this?
Why couldn't he stop crying?
As Naruto broke down, he landed face-first on his mattress, trying to cover his tears with his pillow.
At this moment, he was tired.
His emotions were tangled, and one question kept ringing in his mind.
Why did he have so many expectations?
He was all alone before. He wasn't alone anymore. He had Sasuke, Sakura, and even Kakashi as his teachers.
He also knew there was a girl who had a crush on him all this time.
He also knew his parents loved him.
Naruto turned around, facing the ceiling of his house as he wondered.
'But, why can't I stop these tears?'