Ashina had been staring at the ceiling for approximately three hours when someone knocked on her door. She ignored it.
After the disastrous meeting in Kendrick's study, she'd retreated to her room and hadn't left. She'd skipped lunch, ignored the dinner tray someone had left outside her door, and spent the afternoon alternatively seething with rage and fighting tears she refused to shed.
She'd felt Kendrick's concern growing as the hours passed. Felt him wanting to check on her, to make sure she was okay. Around 6 PM, he'd stood outside her door for a full ten minutes before walking away.
Good. Let him worry. Let him wonder if she was plotting escape or drowning in misery or planning his murder.
She was actually doing all three.
Another knock, louder this time. More insistent.
Ashina buried her face in her pillow and pretended she didn't exist.
"Luna?" A female voice, bright and cheerful. "I know you're in there. I can hear you breathing."
Go away, Ashina thought viciously.
"Also, Kendrick mentioned you didn't eat lunch or dinner, and as someone who gets really cranky when hungry, I'm guessing you're probably starving by now."
She was, actually. Her stomach had been growling for the past hour, but she'd be damned if she'd ask anyone in this pack for food. That felt too much like accepting her place here.
"So I brought you something." The doorknob rattled. "I'm coming in, okay? If you're naked or crying or plotting murder, you should probably say something."
"Don't you dare"
The door burst open.
A small whirlwind of energy and auburn curls swept into the room, carrying a tray laden with food and radiating the kind of relentless cheerfulness that should be illegal after 7 PM. The woman,girl? couldn't be more than twenty five, with freckles across her nose, bright green eyes, and a smile so genuine it was almost offensive.
"Hi!" She kicked the door shut behind her with her foot and set the tray on Ashina's dresser. "I'm Zara. Zara Lupe, technically, though I was Zara Thorne before I mated Ryker two years ago. You met Ryker tall, dark hair, looks serious but is actually a giant softie? Yeah, that's my mate. He's wonderful. Anyway!" She spun around, and her smile dimmed slightly when she took in Ashina's appearance. "Oh honey. You look miserable."
Ashina sat up, clutching her pillow defensively. "Get out."
"Nope." Zara plopped down on the end of the bed like they were old friends. "I mean, I could, but then you'd just sit here marinating in your sadness, and that's not good for anyone. Trust me, I've tried the whole 'wallow alone' thing. Doesn't work."
"I don't want company."
"Nobody wants company when they're miserable. That's when you need it most." Zara tilted her head, studying Ashina with eyes that were far too perceptive for how young she looked. "You've been locked in here for eight hours. Haven't eaten. Haven't left your room. Kendrick's losing his mind downstairs wondering if you're okay"
"Good."
"and the whole pack is tiptoeing around like someone died." Zara reached for the tray and pulled off the cover, revealing what looked like homemade chicken soup, fresh bread, and chocolate cake. "So I figured someone needed to break the ice. That someone is me. I'm excellent at breaking ice. Also at making friends with people who don't want to be friends. It's a gift."
Despite everything, Ashina felt a reluctant flicker of something that wasn't rage or despair. "Did Kendrick send you?"
"God, no. He'd kill me if he knew I barged in here." Zara grinned. "Ryker tried to stop me, actually. Said to give you space, let you adjust, all that reasonable stuff. But I was like, 'Babe, she's been alone all day. That's not adjusting, that's suffering.' So here I am!" She pushed the tray toward Ashina. "Eat. You'll feel better. Food helps everything."
"Food doesn't help being kidnapped and marked against your will."
The words came out sharper than intended, and Ashina watched Zara's expression shift, the cheerfulness dimming, something more serious settling into her features.
"No," Zara agreed quietly. "It doesn't. Nothing really helps with that except time and therapy, probably. But it does help with the starving part, which makes the rest of it marginally more bearable."
Ashina wanted to refuse. Wanted to send Zara away and go back to her productive misery. But the soup smelled incredible, and her stomach betrayed her with a loud growl.
Zara's smile returned, softer this time. "See? Your body knows what it needs even if your brain is being stubborn."
"I'm not being stubborn."
"You're absolutely being stubborn. But that's okay. Stubborn is good. Means you haven't given up." Zara stood and grabbed the tray, setting it firmly on Ashina's lap. "Eat. I'll talk. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to."
"What if I want you to leave?"
"Then you can tell me after you finish the soup." Zara settled back on the end of the bed, crossing her legs. "Deal?"
It wasn't really a deal more like a hostage situation involving food but Ashina found herself picking up the spoon anyway. The first taste of soup was heaven, warm and rich and exactly what her body needed.
Zara watched her take three bites before launching into conversation. "So, Moonlit Pack. Big, I know. Probably overwhelming compared to Silverpaw. We've got about three hundred members, which means lots of faces to learn and lots of names you'll immediately forget. Don't worry, everyone does it. I still can't remember half the wolves in the outer territories."
Ashina ate mechanically, not responding, but Zara didn't seem to need responses.
"The pack's pretty great, honestly. Kendrick runs a tight ship lots of rules, lots of structure, everyone has a job. Some people think he's too strict, but honestly? It works. Crime is almost zero, everyone's taken care of, and disputes get settled quickly. Plus, the territory is gorgeous. Have you seen the lake yet? It's about two miles north. Beautiful spot. I go there when I need to think."
"I can't leave pack lands," Ashina said flatly.
"Well, yeah, but the lake is on pack lands. You can totally go there." Zara's voice was matter-of-fact. "There's also the training grounds if you like to work out your aggression by hitting things and the meadow, which is perfect for shifting and running. Oh, and the library! Third floor of the manor. Kendrick's got an insane book collection. Like, scary insane. I'm pretty sure there are first editions in there worth more than my life."
Despite herself, Ashina felt a spark of interest. She'd always loved reading, had spent countless hours in Silverpaw's tiny pack library.
Zara noticed. Of course she noticed. "You're a reader! I knew it. You've got that look. Ryker does too he'll disappear into a book for hours and forget humans need food and sunlight. You two will get along great."
"I don't want to get along with anyone here."
"Sure you don't." Zara's tone was knowing but not unkind. "Because making friends in the place you're stuck would make it harder to maintain the 'I hate everything' vibe you've got going."
"I'm not trying to maintain a vibe. I genuinely hate it here."
"I believe you." Zara leaned forward, her expression more serious. "For what it's worth, I think what Kendrick did was shitty. Like, really shitty. You didn't deserve that, and you have every right to be furious."
The unexpected solidarity made Ashina's throat tight. "Does everyone know?"
"That he forced the mark?" Zara shrugged. "Most of the pack thinks you're just going through normal mating adjustment. But those of us close to Kendrick know the truth. Ryker told me everything not to gossip, but because I'm his mate and we don't keep secrets." She paused. "For what it's worth, Ryker told him not to do it. Warned him it would backfire. But Kendrick was convinced it was the only way."
"It wasn't."
"No," Zara agreed. "It wasn't. But he's not exactly known for his emotional intelligence. The man has the social skills of a particularly grumpy rock."
The description was so unexpected that Ashina almost choked on her soup. "A grumpy rock?"
"A very powerful, very alpha grumpy rock." Zara's grin was infectious. "Look, I'm not defending what he did. But I will say he's not as scary as he looks. He's just emotionally constipated."
This time, Ashina did laugh. It burst out before she could stop it, a short sharp sound that felt foreign after days of crying and rage.
Zara's face lit up. "There it is! I knew you could still laugh."
"I shouldn't be laughing." Ashina set down her spoon, the brief moment of levity already fading. "Nothing about this is funny."
"No, it's not." Zara's voice was gentle now. "But you're allowed to laugh anyway. You're allowed to have moments where you forget how much everything sucks. That doesn't make you a traitor to yourself or whatever your brain is telling you."
How did this stranger understand exactly what Ashina was thinking?
"I don't know how to do this," Ashina admitted quietly. "How to live here. How to be Luna. How to hate him while feeling everything he feels through the bond."
"You take it one day at a time." Zara reached over and squeezed her hand. "One hour, if a day is too much. You survive however you need to. And you let people help you even if those people are annoyingly cheerful mates of Betas who won't take no for an answer."
Despite everything, Ashina felt something in her chest loosen slightly. "You're very pushy."
"It's my best quality." Zara stood and gestured to the tray. "Finish the soup. Eat the cake. I made it myself, and it's amazing. Tomorrow, we'll have lunch. I'll show you around the territory, introduce you to people who won't stare at your neck like it's a circus attraction."
"I didn't agree to lunch."
"You don't have to agree. I'll be here at noon anyway." Zara headed for the door, then paused. "Oh, and Ashina? For what it's worth you're stronger than you think. I can tell. Anyone who can sit in Kendrick's study and argue with him for thirty minutes without backing down has some serious spine."
"How do you know about that?"
"Ryker felt Kendrick's stress through their pack bond. Apparently you made the Alpha sweat. That's impressive." Zara's grin was proud, like Ashina had accomplished something worth celebrating. "See you tomorrow, Luna."
She swept out as quickly as she'd entered, leaving Ashina alone with half-eaten soup and more emotional confusion than she'd started with. But as she ate, she found herself thinking about Zara's words. Emotionally constipated. The description fit Kendrick so perfectly it was almost painful. A man who'd never learned to express emotions in healthy ways, who'd chosen violence and force because he didn't know how else to show love. t didn't excuse what he'd done. Nothing would excuse it. But it made him human Flawed. Broken in his own ways.
Ashina finished the cake and set the tray aside. Her stomach was full for the first time all day, and the constant gnawing hunger had faded to a more manageable discomfort.
She walked to her balcony and looked out over the territory. Somewhere below, Zara was probably telling Ryker about their conversation. Somewhere in the manor, Kendrick was sitting in his study, feeling her emotions through the bond and wondering what had changed.
Tomorrow, Zara would show up at noon. And despite herself, despite her determination to remain isolated and angry, Ashina found herself not entirely dreading it.
She touched the mark on her neck still there, still permanent, still a reminder of everything she'd lost. But maybe, just maybe, she could survive this place. Could find allies in unexpected places. Could build something new from the ashes of what had been destroyed.
Not for Kendrick. Not for the bond. Not for the pack. But for herself. Because if she was going to be trapped here, she might as well make it bearable.
Ashina caught her reflection in the balcony doors and realized she was smiling. Just slightly, just at the corners of her mouth. The first real smile since the marking.
Zara's audacity had done that. Her refusal to treat Ashina like a fragile victim. Her genuine kindness wrapped in pushy cheerfulness. Her description of Kendrick as an emotionally constipated rock.
The smile faded as quickly as it had come, but it had been there. Proof that maybe she wasn't as broken as she felt. But it was something.
CHAPTER TWELVE: FIRST ESCAPE
Ashina woke at 2 AM with a single, burning thought. Run.
She'd been dreaming of Silverpaw, of the freedom she'd taken for granted, of a life where her body was her own and choices weren't stripped away by teeth and force.
Now, lying in the darkness of her gilded cage, the need to move was overwhelming. Suffocating. The walls felt closer than they had hours ago, the bond in her chest pulling at her like a leash, Kendrick's sleeping presence a weight she couldn't escape. Now. If she was going to try, it had to be now.
Ashina slipped from bed silently, her heart pounding. She pulled on running shoes and clothes that would be easy to remove before shifting. Grabbed her phone not to call for help, but because the rational part of her brain insisted on having it.
Her hand hovered over the doorknob. Through the bond, Kendrick's sleep remained undisturbed. He'd said she could go anywhere on pack territory. The inner forest was safe. But Ashina didn't want the inner forest. She wanted out.
The door opened without a sound no locks, just like he'd promised. The hallway stretched dark and empty. Ashina moved like a ghost through the manor, avoiding the main stairs where night patrol might see her, taking the servants' stairs instead. Out through the kitchen door. Across the gardens. Into the tree line.
The moment the forest surrounded her, something in Ashina's chest eased. This she understood. Trees and earth and the wild scent of night. Not marble floors and crystal chandeliers and the oppressive weight of pack politics.
She stripped quickly, folding her clothes and hiding them in the hollow of a tree. Her wolf surged forward eagerly, finally allowed to run free and the shift took her fast and smooth.Four paws hit the ground, and Ashina ran. God, it felt good. Her wolf was built for speed smaller than most but quick, agile, able to slip through underbrush that would slow larger wolves. She ran with pure joy, muscles stretching, lungs expanding, the wind in her fur and the earth beneath her paws. Free. For the first time in days, she felt free.
The bond hummed in her chest, content as long as she stayed within territory. She could feel its satisfaction.
Ashina crossed the border at a full sprint and for the first three miles, it was bearable. The bond pulled harder, more insistent, like someone tugging on a rope attached to her sternum. But she could push through it. By five miles. The pulling became pressure. Her wolf whined, confused by the discomfort. Why were they running away from territory?. He's not our mate but the bond didn't care about choice. It only knew marked and mated and too far from Alpha.
Seven miles. The pressure became pain. A sharp ache in her chest, like the bond was literally tightening around her heart. Nausea rolled through her stomach. Her legs felt heavier, each step requiring more effort.
Through the bond, she felt the moment Kendrick woke up. His instant awareness that something was wrong, His panic hit her like a physical blow. Terror so profound it stole her breath. Not fear for himself, but fear for her.
She pushed harder, spite giving her strength. She'd made it seven miles. Surely she could make it ten. Surely she could prove the bond didn't control her completely.
Eight miles. The nausea became violent. Ashina stumbled, caught herself, kept running. Her vision blurred at the edges. The pain in her chest was a living thing now, clawing and burning .
Nine miles. She couldn't breathe right. Her wolf was crying now. The bond felt like it was tearing, causing damage in ways that would leave scars.
Almost ten miles, Ashina thought desperately. Just need to make it to ten but her legs gave out. One moment she was running, the next she was tumbling, her wolf form losing cohesion as pain overwhelmed her ability to maintain the shift. She hit the ground as a human, naked and gasping and unable to do anything but curl into a ball as agony radiated from the mark on her neck. It felt like dying. Like every cell in her body was screaming to return to pack lands. The bond was trying to physically drag her back. Ashina tried to stand. Managed to get to her hands and knees before her vision went white with pain and she collapsed again.
A massive black wolf burst from the trees.
Even through her pain, Ashina recognized him. Kendrick's wolf was enormous easily twice the size of hers, pure black except for ice-blue eyes that locked onto her with wild relief and lingering terror.
He shifted mid-stride, his human form appearing as he reached her. He was naked had shifted quickly without time to grab clothes but Ashina barely registered that. Barely registered anything except the pain slowly starting to ease now that he was near.
"You fucking idiot." His voice was rough, shaking. Not with fear. "You could have killed yourself."
Ashina tried to speak, but only a whimper came out. The pain was fading but slowly, leaving her weak and shaking and unable to do anything but lie there.
Kendrick knelt beside her, his hands hovering like he wanted to touch her but wasn't sure if she'd allow it. she felt his terror morphing into rage not at her, at himself. At the bond.
"I need to touch you," he said tightly. "I need to... the bond needs contact to fully calm. Can I?"
Ashina managed a tiny nod, too weak to maintain her pride.
His hand pressed against the mark on her neck, and the relief was instant and profound. The pain cut by half, then half again, the bond settling with desperate satisfaction at the contact. Mate. Safe.
"Breathe," Kendrick commanded softly. "Just breathe. I've got you."
She hated that it helped when he was the reason she'd been in pain in the first place.
When she could finally breathe without agony, when the shaking had subsided to tremors instead of convulsions, Kendrick carefully lifted her. Ashina wanted to fight, wanted to push him away, but her body wouldn't cooperate.
"Your clothes?" he asked quietly.
"Tree... first marker... folded..."
He nodded and started walking back toward pack territory, carrying her like she weighed nothing. The moment they crossed the border back into Moonlit lands, the bond sang with relief.
She felt him stop at the tree where she'd hidden her clothes, felt him kneel and shift her carefully to one arm while he retrieved them. He didn't dress her probabbly that felt too intimate instead he just draped them over her like a blanket. Then he kept walking.
Ashina expected him to lecture or "I told you so." But Kendrick was silent.
He carried her through the forest, his steps sure and steady. Other wolves appeared pack members drawn by their Alpha's distress but Kendrick waved them off with a curt gesture. This was between him and his mate.
By the time they reached the manor, Ashina's eyes were heavy. The adrenaline crash combined with the pain had left her exhausted beyond measure. She felt Kendrick carry her up the stairs, into her room, and lay her gently on the bed, pull the covers over her with careful hands.
"Kendrick." Her voice was barely a whisper.
He froze. "Yes?"
"Why didn't you lecture me?"
A long silence. "Because you already know it was dangerous. You felt what happens when you push too far." His voice was tired, heavy. "I don't need to punish you. The bond did that already."
"I hate it." Tears burned behind her eyes. "I hate that I can't leave. That my own body betrays me."
"I know." The words were soft, anguished. "I'm sorry. For all of it."
Ashina's eyes drifted closed. She heard him moving toward the door, heard it open.
"Kendrick?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you. For coming."
Ashina drifted toward sleep, her body demanding rest to recover from the trauma of pushing the bond past its limits. Her last conscious thought was wondering why Kendrick's arms had felt safe when everything else about him was a cage.
When she woke hours later, daylight was streaming through her windows. Her body ached like she'd run a marathon which, she supposed, she had. The mark on her neck was tender, sensitive, a reminder of how the bond had protected itself.
On her nightstand sat a glass of water, two painkillers, and a folded piece of paper. Ashina unfolded it with trembling hands. "The bond protects you, even from yourself. I know you hate these limitations. I know you feel trapped. But the bond isn't punishment. You're too important to lose, even if you don't believe that yet. - K. Below, in smaller handwriting P.S. Zara will be here at noon. Please eat something before then. You need to rebuild your strength."
Ashina stared at the note for a long time. Part of her wanted to crumple it, throw it away, but another part she was afraid to examine too closely recognized the truth in his words.
The bond hadn't been trying to hurt her last night. It had been trying to save her. To pull her back before she pushed so far she couldn't return. It was a cage, yes, but maybe also a lifeline. She hated that. Hated the complexity of it.
Ashina set the note on the nightstand, took the painkillers with water, and lay back down.
She didn't hate the note. Didn't love it. It existed in the same complicated space everything about Kendrick existed in, wrong but not evil. And somehow, that made it so much harder to maintain the clean lines of her hatred. Outside her window, she heard the pack stirring. Life continuing in Moonlit territory, unchanged by one Luna's desperate attempt at freedom.