Alioth's body finally gave out.
The boy had to pause to catch his breath.
He turned to see if anyone was following him. Luckily, no one was pursuing him.
'That was close.'
The boy thought, clutching his chest.
It had been a while since he'd left the darkness of the central square behind, but he didn't stop running until he felt he couldn't go on.
"I suppose I should have seen this coming," the boy lamented.
Had he really believed that ritual would work?
Deep down, Alioth knew nothing would happen.
The first baptism granted a name, the second awakened your lineage, and the third defined your destiny.
However, those rituals were reserved for the Vanir. The privileged people who had inherited divine power.
It made no sense for that ritual to awaken his Ka.
In fact, the boy didn't even know if he was really a Vanir.
Everything indicated he was. He had been born into a Vanir family after all.
But then, why hadn't the ritual worked?
"So really... I'll remain defective my whole life?" Alioth lamented, letting out a big sigh.
The golden streets of Aurudil shone, bathed in sunlight.
Small spirits pulsed with green and blue lights in the air.
The boy gave them a sad look.
"I suppose I'll have to forget about learning magic."
It was a fact. It was impossible to use magic without Ka.
Alioth then felt a liquid move through his tunic, positioning itself on his shoulder.
"Pyun!" a voice chirped.
Turning his head, Alioth found a bluish sphere on his shoulder, very similar to a slime.
"Yeah, looks like I'll have to keep depending on you, buddy," the boy said, forcing a smile while cupping his hands in front of his chest so the sphere could jump on top.
The small sphere bounced, landing on Alioth's hands.
"Kyun!" the creature exclaimed.
The white-haired boy just shook his head, as if understanding the sphere's words.
"No, Abzu, it's not the same. You're my companion, but what you do can't be considered magic. At least I'm not using it."
Abzu was a medium spirit. When a spirit grew enough, it could develop its own will and act independently of nature.
He was a gift from his teacher, Anansi. The person who had rescued him from freezing to death the day they abandoned him.
"Kyun Kyun Pyun!" the spirit replied, agitated, opening its mouth wide when speaking.
He was very expressive for a water sphere.
"Hehe, that was very adorable of you," Alioth commented while petting Abzu's head. "But it's not about that. I really wanted to do magic."
An unpleasant feeling twisted in his stomach. He was frustrated and deeply disappointed.
He still remembered when his teacher told him. Both spiritual magic and heka required Ka to function.
It didn't matter if he could see or hear spirits. They would never hear him.
"Fun fun fun," Abzu argued. His body swelled and deflated with each "fun" he made.
Alioth's lips twisted into a smile. It was comforting to hear.
Abzu had always been a great friend.
He could still remember the day he named him, thus formalizing a pact between them.
While normally Ka is required to name someone or something, Anansi had prepared measures so it wouldn't be necessary that time.
"I'm sorry, little friend, but this was my last hope," Alioth responded with some regret.
It was hard to disappoint his friend.
'Abzu... What does it mean? I had named him that after a myth my brother told me... though I can't remember it. How strange.'
Alioth made an effort to remember. He was sure he had chosen that name for a reason.
But he couldn't remember anymore.
And it was very difficult for Alioth to forget something.
"Pyun yun... Kyun nyu!?" the spirit then shouted, pulling Alioth from his thoughts.
The boy's eyes opened wide. Abzu's words had been strong.
'How can he say that? Doesn't he know how hard this is for me!? I'm not giving up for fun!'
He screamed inside while clenching his jaw.
"You..." the boy fell silent. He was afraid of saying something he might regret.
He knew Abzu was right, but the truth hurt.
"Do you think if there were any other way, I wouldn't do it?" he finally said. "I've done everything I can to achieve it, but nothing has worked. Nothing in this world can grant me Ka."
The boy wanted to scream, kick, and roll on the ground from the rage and frustration he felt.
He felt pathetic, useless, defective... a parasite.
"Kyun pun kyu, pun kyu nyu," Abzu replied with a more serious tone.
But Alioth just shook his head.
"You don't understand. There's nothing one can achieve without Ka. Without it... I'm just a burden," he responded with a trembling voice.
But Abzu just turned away coldly.
"Pyun nyu Kyun? Kunyu," he responded, jumping from Alioth's hands to the ground and starting to bounce away.
"What? I didn't say that! Abzu!" Alioth extended his hand, wanting to reach him, but regretted it halfway. "Fine, do what you want. I don't care."
The boy turned around and started walking.
"Damn Abzu, why doesn't he understand? I don't want to have to depend on him. I want to do magic by myself," he grumbled.
Alioth kept walking, not paying attention to where he was going.
He was frustrated. In his other life he had been a parasite, a burden, useless.
When he was reborn, he swore this time would be different. However, the lack of Ka prevented it.
In that world, if you didn't have Ka, you were nobody.
He was defective. There was no way to fix it. That was the only truth he could accept.
"If only there were a way to do magic without Ka... wait," the boy stood still for a moment. He had made a revelation.
Small specks of light gleamed in the air, as if sharing his hope.
"That's it! That's what I have to do!" he exclaimed.
The boy had understood.
There was no way to acquire Ka, but perhaps there was a way to do magic without Ka.
It was true. The basics of magic dictated that Ka was needed to execute it.
But what if there's a way? What if simply no one had looked hard enough?
It had to be possible. There had to be a way to do magic without Ka.
And if it didn't exist, he just had to create it.
"Yes, I can't give up yet," Alioth's black eyes shone with a glimmer of hope. "Is that what you were referring to, friend?"
Alioth sighed. He had been stupid.
Abzu was just trying to encourage him.
"Well, I need to find that blue mass before it's too late," he said, looking at the city streets. "By the way... where am I?"
The boy scratched his head, somewhat confused. He was lost.
"Great, I'll have to find my way by myself, I suppose," the white-haired boy lamented as he started walking.
There was something strange in the atmosphere. The once pristine and gleaming streets of Aurudil looked much duller.
The houses had lost their shine, and some showed obvious signs of needing repairs.
"I wonder if anyone can point me in the right direction," the boy wondered, as he turned into an alley, attracted by some voices.
But he didn't find what he was looking for.
"Take this, hehehe, this will teach you not to dirty the streets with your stinking demon stench," a voice said.
There she was. A white-haired girl lying on the ground, surrounded by other kids with bad intentions.
Alioth clenched his teeth at that injustice. He wasn't going to let it pass.
"Hey you! What are you doing?" he shouted.
His blood boiled with rage, probably also due to the emotions he had repressed.
The kids turned to look at him, with unfriendly faces.
"Who the hell are you?" one of the boys said.
Alioth frowned as he extended his hand, prepared to use Abzu.
"I..."
That's when he realized.
Abzu was no longer with him.