Why was I so terrified of her abandoning me?
She was a stranger, someone who had just found me. It didn't make sense to feel attached to her.
What if it wasn't attachment? What if it was fear?
I had died because my family had decided it was no longer profitable to keep me alive.
Upon being reborn, I had been thrown in the trash because I was born without Ka.
The people who were supposed to care for and protect me had preferred to get rid of me.
Yes, that woman had no reason to care for me. She surely had her own affairs to attend to and no obligation to care for an abandoned child.
But still, I didn't want to suffer abandonment again. My heart couldn't take it.
"Where should we take him? There must be a temple nearby," the woman said.
"No, don't do it, don't leave me!"
I clung to her tunic tightly while tears fell down my face. I was being selfish, and I knew it, but I didn't care.
"Don't worry, little one, you're safe now. At the temple they'll take very good care of you," she continued, with a soft voice.
"No! I don't want to! I refuse!"
I began to cry hard while burying my face in her chest. I couldn't let them take me there.
It wasn't just fear of being abandoned, but I was also in danger at a religious place. After all, the one who ordered them to get rid of me was some kind of priest.
"H-huh? What's wrong with him? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" the woman asked, somewhat confused, as if she feared she had acted wrongly.
The girl moved her head to inspect me from different angles, wanting to make sure I was okay.
"He probably misses being in his pile of garbage. Maybe if you put him back there he'll calm down," Samedi commented with a mocking tone, which earned him a withering look from the woman.
The small pulsing flashes surrounding her shone more intensely, making it clear the girl wasn't happy at those words.
"That was completely out of line," she scolded him.
I couldn't help but feel protected seeing how she got angry at what they said about me.
"I don't know why you're surprised. Samedi has always been a very vulgar person," Legba added, with a tone of superiority.
"You shut up, you deformed egg!"
"Did they really forget I existed?"
"Ahem," the woman cleared her throat, interrupting the argument. "Stop fighting, you two. The priority now is to find a home for this child."
"Uwaaa!" I shrieked, while shaking my head.
"How can I make her understand?"
I thought. It was difficult to communicate being a baby. The only way I could think of was to cling to her more tightly and not let go.
"U-uuuh, w-what's wrong with him?" the girl asked, somewhat nervous. It was obvious she wasn't familiar with children.
The girl blinked in confusion, trying to decipher the reason behind my behavior. As she did, the glow of the spirits around her lost intensity.
"Mmm, maybe he's afraid you'll abandon him too," Legba suggested.
"Exactly! That's it! Thanks Legba. Your name is a bit weird and your face is kind of scary, but you turned out to be a good guy!"
I nodded forcefully at the Lwa's words. He was my savior.
"Huh... Did he just nod? Does he understand us?" Samedi then commented.
My heart stopped at that very moment. I had forgotten that babies don't communicate.
Not having Ka was already strange. Acting as if I understood them would make me more suspicious.
"What's weird about that?" the woman asked, genuinely confused. "Why couldn't he understand us?"
A short silence settled on the snowy street. The spirits pulsed with green, blue, white, and red colored lights, at a rhythm I still couldn't decipher.
"Does she really not know?"
I wondered internally.
"Generally it's rare for newborns to develop communication abilities," Legba clarified. "Although artificial life forms may have a certain level of knowledge at birth, it's different for life forms to be born with intrinsic knowledge."
"Oh..." she said as if they had just revealed to her the formula to decipher all the truths of the universe. "That explains a lot of things."
"You're really not the sharpest, are you?"
I thought. All the mysticism that enveloped the mage had vanished. Though that hadn't made me change my mind. I still didn't want to be abandoned.
"So what do we do? Are you going to take him in? Because I think the baby has better chances of surviving if you leave him here than if you take him with you," Samedi mocked.
Legba's head turned toward the doll with an unnatural speed. If he were human, he surely would have broken his neck.
"Stop being insolent, Samedi. Anansi would be a very good mother," Legba rebutted with indignation, almost as if insulting Anansi were as serious as insulting him.
"Anansi, so that's her name. It's pretty strange too."
"You only say that because you're spoiled!" an agitated Samedi responded while pointing the tip of his rounded extremity at him.
Anansi let out a slight sigh. Her gaze reflected some insecurity.
"Samedi is right. I don't think I can raise this child well."
"No! Don't say that! I don't care if you don't have experience. I just want to not be alone again."
The woman lifted me in her arms, bringing us eye to eye.
"Do you really want to stay with me? Even if I can't offer you a proper environment?" she said, looking into my eyes. Her gaze revealed that she didn't want to get rid of me. She just feared not being up to the task.
"You really... are too innocent for this cruel world."
I nodded without fear. Even if she wasn't the best mother, I couldn't be very demanding either.
Seeing my agreement, Anansi's lips curved into a small smile. She seemed genuinely grateful that I trusted her, though I was the one who should be thanking her.
"Alright, then I'll do my best to be worthy," she affirmed with an almost childlike firmness.
Relief washed over me in that instant. Finally, after so many intense emotions, I allowed myself to truly relax.
"So you're really going to adopt that thing? Well, I guess all that's left is to give it a name," Samedi said condescendingly.
The girl gave a start upon hearing those words.
"A-a name? That's very important. Besides, won't he already have one?" she asked nervously.
"Either she's very innocent, or giving a name in this world is something much more relevant than in mine."
"I doubt it. It's more likely they abandoned him before doing the naming ceremony. In fact, I deduce it was a saint who decided to get rid of him. He probably saw someone without Ka as blasphemy," Legba commented with an intellectual air.
Every word they said was recorded in my mind. I had to collect as much information as possible if I wanted to survive in this world.
Apparently, the name was something of utmost importance, so much so that they performed religious rites when naming a baby.
"A ceremony? Didn't only humans do that? I mean, maybe he's a half-breed, and that's why he was born defective," Samedi commented condescendingly, exhaling some gray smoke from his unstitched mouth.
"So only humans do a ceremony? That reminds me that old man called the servant 'noname.' Could it be related?"
"Stop picking on him, Samedi," Anansi said, looking at the puppet reproachfully. "Although if they've already named him, his name will be forgotten... that would be horrible," she added sadly.
My curiosity grew at those words. Apparently, having your name forgotten is something bad in this world.
Though I didn't have to worry since I didn't remember having received a name yet.
Legba shook his head.
"Don't overthink it, Anansi. Focus on choosing a good name for now."
The girl nodded, somewhat more determined.
"Alright. Mmm, a name, let's see."
The woman began to reflect while staring at me fixedly, as if my face were a puzzle that, when solved, would reveal the perfect name.
But the minutes passed, and Anansi remained just as indecisive, prompting Legba to chime in.
"If I'm not mistaken, according to the beliefs here, having the child's name start with a vowel brings good luck."
The girl nodded at those words, maintaining her reflective expression. While she thought, I saw how the snow began to accumulate on her pointed hat, which resembled that of storybook witches.
The small spirits began to dance around her, surrounding her hat. Their glow became more intense, causing the accumulated snow to evaporate, creating small clouds of steam above her.
And just at the moment the snow evaporated, Anansi's eyes lit up.
"Alioth! Your name will be Alioth!" she exclaimed enthusiastically.
"Alioth? It's kind of weird, but I suppose I can get used to it."
I thought, and gladly accepted my new name.
Then, a sound resounded in my head, like gears starting to turn.
At the same time, I felt a small tingling that spread from my back throughout my body.
I had felt it, how that name had been engraved in my body. No, in my soul.
I felt different, somewhat more "free," and with the growing sensation that my story was just beginning.