🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
Scrooge opens his beak to fire off his first barrage of questions—
When Alex raises a hand.
"Before you begin, young Scrooge McDuck—"
A soft whoosh echoes through the lobby.
A pamphlet appears in Alex's hand.
Not a small piece of paper.
A full inch-thick booklet, like a tourist guide combined with a cosmic legal document.
Alex hands it to Scrooge.
"My previous guests asked many questions. I answered those questions. I do not enjoy repeating myself. This pamphlet contains every conversation that would otherwise take three hours. Please read it so we can skip to the part where you ask new questions."
Scrooge freezes.
Looks at the booklet.
Looks at Alex.
Back at the booklet.
🔶 POV: Scrooge McDuck (First-Person)
"…This is the most bizarre customer service I've ever seen."
Still, I take the booklet.
And I start flippin' through it.
At first, I skim.
Then I slow down.
Then I stop completely.
This thing…this THING…
—contains answers to questions I haven't even thought of yet.
And the handwriting—it's the same as the giant's voice.Not human.Not duck.Not anything.
More like the hotel itself scratched its own thoughts into the paper.
I read:
Q: "Where does the hotel get its food?"A: "A world called Toriko. Please do not ask me to list the menu. It is infinite."
Q: "How does currency convert?"A: "Automatically. Without exception. Try not to think too hard about it."
Q: "Can we explore the infinite hallways?"A: "You can try." (a note below simply reads: "No one has returned yet.")
Q: "Is the hotel alive?"A: "Yes." (Alex underlined this four times.)
I gulp.
And then I find a page titled:
"QUESTIONS I WILL NOT ANSWER AGAIN."
It's a whole list.
"Are you a god?" → "No."
"Are you omnipotent?" → "No."
"Are you omniscient?" → "No, but close enough for most conversations."
"What are the consequences for breaking the rules?" → "Decided case-by-case."
"Can I fight in the hotel?" → "No."
"Can I fight YOU?" → "Absolutely not."
"Can I fight the staff?" → "No. And why would you?"
"Can I steal the hotel?" → "Try." (the note under it says "Please don't.")
I close the booklet.
Slowly.
Very slowly.
Because what I've just read could make a normal duck go mad.
But I'm not a normal duck.
I'm Scrooge McDuck.
And every page I read didn't scare me—
It excited me.
I tuck the booklet under my arm.
"Alright then, giant lad. I've read yer cosmic brochure. And I've got me NEW questions ready."
The avatar nods.
"Proceed."
🔶 POV: Scrooge McDuck (First-Person)
I clear my throat.
**"First question—
How big is 'infinite,' really? Infinite doesn't help me plan an expedition."**
Alex replies instantly:
"Infinitely infinite."
I blink.
"…That's not a number."
"It's not supposed to be."
Blast.
**"Second question—
Can I go treasure huntin' inside the hotel?"**
"No. Anything found in the Infinite Hotel belongs to the Infinite Hotel. Attempting to claim it as yours will trigger the consequences."
"…How big are those consequences?"
"Variable."
"Is 'variable' bigger than a dragon?"
"Yes."
"Well then."
I tug my coat straight and move to safer lines of questioning.
**"Third question—
How much does a room cost?"**
Alex answers:
"For your world, after currency conversion—twenty shillings for a standard room.Forty shillings for premium.Fifty shillings for a deluxe suite."
I stare.
"…That's CHEAP."
"Your world's economy at the moment is unimpressive."
"THAT'S INSULTIN'—BUT I'LL TAKE IT."
**"Fourth question—
Is the hotel dangerous?"**
"No. Unless you break the rules. Or get lost. Or fall into a non-Euclidean gap. Or open a wrong door. Or wander into a space not intended for mortals."
"…Define 'wrong door.'"
"I cannot. You will know when you open it."
"That's… not reassuring, lad."
"It was not meant to be."
**"Fifth question—
Can I hire one of yer staff?"**
"No."
"Can I buy one?"
"No."
"Can I rent one?"
"No."
"Can I take one on an adventure?"
"No."
"Can I—"
"Scrooge."
"Yes?"
"No."
Blast.
**"Sixth question—
What CAN I do here?"**
Alex tilts his head:
"You may eat. Sleep. Train. Rest. Heal. Socialize. Ask questions. Relax. Contemplate existence. Escape your world's responsibilities. Or do absolutely nothing."
"That's… surprisingly generous."
"I am a hotel."
🔶 POV: Alex (Third-Person)
Scrooge processes the information with rapid efficiency.
He is reckless—
But intelligent.
Ambitious—
But calculating.
Curious—
But surprisingly polite considering his greed.
Alex senses what this duck represents:
Adventure.
Chaos potential.
Curiosity without fear.
A perfect new type of guest.
🔶 POV: Scrooge McDuck (First-Person)
I tuck the pamphlet back under me arm.
"Well then, Infinite Hotel…I, Scrooge McDuck, accept yer offer o' hospitality."
I point upward dramatically.
"And I swear on me future fortune—I'll explore every corner of this place,so long as I stay within the rules!"
Alex responds in the flattest, driest, most cosmic tone possible:
"You will get lost."
"Aye, probably."
But that's part o' the adventure.