Chapter 13: Lips as Soft as a Cloud?
Bruce pushed the door open and Christmas greeted him—twinkling lights and garlands on the walls, candles and a holiday runner on the table, and most noticeably, everyone gathered around the tree in the living room decorating it.
Ross had a tiny monkey perched on his shoulder. He'd been taking Marcel, the lab-rescue monkey, everywhere lately.
Monica looked up. "Quick question, Bruce—how are you spending New Year's Eve?"
"No idea yet. Christmas isn't even over. Shouldn't you be asking about Christmas plans?"
"We're having a party here, but we just made a pact—no dates allowed. Want in?"
"Who's already signed on?"
All six people raised their hands.
Bruce looked at Rachel. "Don't you have Paolo? Where's your boyfriend?"
"Paolo's in Rome this year, so we're all in the same boat—counting down while watching other people kiss at midnight."
"So this pact exists just because nobody has anyone to kiss?"
Chandler, clearly the mastermind, spoke up. "What else? Because we hate kissing? Isn't that tragic enough? Are you in or out?"
"I want to come to the party, but I'm not sure about the pact."
Monica asked, "Why? Are you seeing someone?"
Everyone immediately turned into eager spectators.
"There's a girl I knew growing up. She's working in New York now and my mom arranged for us to have dinner tonight."
Joey scoffed. "How old are you—twelve? Your mom still sets up your dates?"
Bruce smiled. "If she's not interested, it's just two old friends having Christmas dinner. No matter how much I want it to be a date, it won't be one. And even if we hit it off tonight, we might not be ready for New Year's kissing. So keep a tentative spot for me in your pact."
Joey shook his head. "If I'm still not with someone by New Year's, I've clearly turned gay."
"Interesting observation, Joey. I notice there are three guys and three girls here besides me."
Monica frowned. "So?"
"So when midnight hits, you could pair up and kiss each other."
Joey made a face. "Hello? Ross is Monica's brother—should they kiss?"
Everyone stared at him. Bruce said calmly, "Who said Ross has to kiss Monica? There's Rachel and Phoebe. And you and Chandler."
Joey's eyes widened. "Me? I'm still not kissing Ross!"
While Ross rolled his eyes, Chandler couldn't take it anymore. "Oh my God, Joey—Ross can kiss Rachel or Phoebe. Monica can kiss me or you!"
Monica added, "Hey, don't forget Bruce. Maybe I want to kiss him."
Chandler said, "Sorry, he already has a potential midnight reservation."
"Then I'll kiss him now and skip the line."
Chandler froze, mouth opening and closing.
Monica looked at Bruce, who quickly said, "No line, no wait—absolutely available!"
Everyone turned to Bruce with confused expressions.
Monica stepped over, slipped her arms around his neck, and kissed him—ten full seconds before their lips parted.
Bruce's thoughts raced: No fireworks, no racing heart. This is Monica. Conclusion: definitely just friends. For me, she, Rachel, and Phoebe are permanently in the friend zone.
Monica asked, "So? How was it?"
"Great—an exquisitely tender, beautiful friendship kiss!"
He pretended not to notice Ross's death glare.
Monica smiled. "My turn: your lips are surprisingly soft—like kissing a cloud. On a scale of one to ten? Eight."
Phoebe stepped forward. "Monica's review made me curious." She extended her hand. "May I?"
Bruce's reflexes kicked in. "Of course!"
Phoebe kissed him—another ten-second sample.
"I have to agree," she said. "Soft—like cotton candy."
"And again," Bruce replied, "a tender, wonderful friendship kiss."
Rachel sighed. "Now I'm curious, but I have Paolo, so I'll pass."
Bruce exhaled in relief. Thank God. Paolo or no Paolo, Ross would've murdered me.
Spotting Joey eyeing him with mischief, Bruce quickly changed the subject. "I almost forgot—what's the plan for Christmas dinner? Anything special?"
Monica answered, "I'm ordering pizza. Least special Christmas ever. Stick around if that's okay with you."
Joey blinked. "No big Christmas dinner?"
"Thanksgiving wore me out, Joey. It's too late to start cooking now—otherwise would I be standing here talking?"
Bruce spoke up. "If nobody has other plans, come to my parents' place. I told my mom I might bring friends—anywhere from zero to six people. Who's in?"
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