Johnny released Aerith's hand slowly, though he seemed reluctant to let go of the warmth. He didn't pull away completely, remaining seated cross-legged, staring at his own palm—at the thickened skin, the hard calluses, and the white scar tissue that mapped his history of violence.
His face, previously flushed with embarrassment, now darkened into a somber expression. There was a question that had been stuck in his throat for six months like a fishbone, pricking him every time he swallowed. He was terrified to ask it, but he had to know.
"Aerith," Johnny called out softly. His eyes were fixed on the wooden floor, too afraid to look at the girl.
"Hm?" Aerith was still smiling, her fingers idly playing with the end of the black floral ribbon in her hair.
"For these past six months... I haven't stopped hunting," Johnny said, his voice heavy and raspy. "Every night I go to the border of Sector 6. Every day after work, I enter the Sector 8 pipelines or the train tunnels."
Johnny clenched his fists tight until his knuckles turned white.
"Be honest with me. Do you... feel it? All the monsters I kill... all the blows I take... do you feel them too?"
Aerith went silent. The smile on her lips faded slowly, though not entirely, replaced by a gentle gaze full of understanding. She didn't answer immediately, letting the silence fill the church for a moment as she observed Johnny's guilt-ridden face.
"Johnny..." Aerith scooted closer until their knees almost touched. "Do you know what monsters you've been fighting?"
Johnny nodded stiffly, beginning to list his violent sins.
"A lot of them. In the ruins of the Sector 6 expressway, there were Cripshays. Those insect creatures... they have antennae that cast a Silence spell." Johnny touched his chest. "When that magic hit me, it felt like my lungs stopped working for a moment. The sound of my world vanished."
Johnny glanced at Aerith fearfully.
"You felt it, didn't you? That suffocation?"
Aerith nodded slowly, honest. "A little. It felt like... I forgot how to breathe for a second. But I was fine."
Johnny winced. The guilt stabbed him again. He continued.
"Then in the industrial waste piles, there were Smoggers. Floating gas balls that explode when hit. Their toxic smoke burns the eyes and skin. I remember last Tuesday, my eyes stung for half the day."
"I cried that day for no reason," Aerith admitted with a wry smile. "My mom was confused why my eyes were so red and watery when I was eating a delicious cake."
Johnny hung his head lower.
"And last month... when I recklessly went into the border sewers to scavenge for scrap metal... there was a Sahagin. Those amphibians are fast. Its harpoon grazed my left arm. Deep."
Aerith reflexively touched her own left arm, rubbing the spot covered by her dress sleeve. There, even though her skin was unblemished, a shadow of the pain had once lingered.
"And the worst one..." Johnny's voice was barely a whisper, choked with emotion. "The Queen Grashtrike near the Sector 5 border. That monster is bigger and more vicious, capable of summoning a swarm of regular Grashtrikes. When she stung me with her poison... my body went numb. Cold."
Johnny lifted his face, looking at Aerith with eyes wet with regret.
"Every time I get hurt, I use my Cure Materia immediately. I try to heal it as fast as possible, in seconds, so you don't have to feel it for long. But... the initial sting still gets through, doesn't it?"
Johnny swallowed hard.
"Forgive me, Aerith. I promised to be your shield, but it turns out I've just been sending pain to you every night. I... I should stop."
Aerith listened to it all without interrupting. Then, with a movement that was gentle yet firm, she cupped Johnny's face with both hands. She forced the Black Swordsman to look straight into the deep green pools of her eyes.
"Listen, you Dummy," Aerith said, her tone sweet but emphatic.
"The pain is real. Yes, I felt your breathlessness. I felt the sting in your eyes. I felt the cold of that Grashtrike poison."
Aerith's thumb stroked Johnny's rough cheek.
"But do you know what else I felt?"
Johnny shook his head slowly.
"I felt Relief every time you managed to win," Aerith whispered.
"When you slashed through that disgusting Whole Eater... I felt your revulsion vanish, replaced by the satisfaction of protecting the market people."
Aerith's eyes sparkled.
"When you destroyed that rampaging old Sweeper machine... I felt your heartbeat swell with pride. Pride because you could buy medicine for your father, or meat for your mother."
Aerith leaned her face closer, until their noses almost touched. Johnny froze, his face turning bright red again, but this time he didn't pull back.
"The physical pain is small, Johnny. Compared to the safety you give me... it's nothing. Because every time I feel that pain, I know... you are out there fighting so that I don't have to fight alone."
Aerith smiled, the sweetest and most genuine smile Johnny had ever seen in his life (and in Guts' life).
"So don't apologize. Keep fighting."
Then Aerith's expression turned playful. She pinched Johnny's nose lightly.
"But... if you ever break a bone, I will be very angry. Because I don't want to wear a cast!"
Johnny stood transfixed. Her words lifted a thousand-ton weight from his shoulders.
He smiled awkwardly—a shy smile he rarely showed.