"Eh?"
Hikigaya blanked for a moment before nodding:
"Of course. At least let me know what I'm working for. I really don't know what could have made someone like you, Ichinose, turn out like that."
"Actually..."
Ichinose's expression was hesitant. Finally, she pursed her lips and began to speak softly about her past.
"I... I actually stole something before. During my third year of middle school, because of the pain, I took a leave of absence for half a year. I was constantly blaming myself and couldn't talk to anyone about it, so I just stayed cooped up in my small room like this."
"Oh..."
Hikigaya couldn't help but think of the uninhabited island exam.
No wonder Ichinose's face went stiff back then when he asked if she had perfect attendance. It turned out she had taken half a year off.
However, stealing something shouldn't be that big of a deal. At least, it depended on the value of what was stolen.
Most young people have done one or two bad things. If stealing a lighter at a KTV counted as theft, then more than half the world would be criminals.
"Was the thing you stole very expensive?"
"Strictly speaking, I suppose... I didn't successfully steal it..."
"Huh?"
Hikigaya was completely confused.
If she didn't succeed, how could it be counted as a crime? If so, 100% of the world's population would be in prison.
"That doesn't seem right."
Ichinose showed a somewhat troubled smile:
"My family is a single-parent household. I live with my mother and my sister, who is two years younger than me. Although we aren't wealthy, I never felt unhappy."
"Mother worked while raising two children; she was always working very hard. So from a young age, I felt that I should go out to work after graduating middle school."
"Because going to high school costs a lot of money, I wanted to work to help my mother support my younger sister. But my mother opposed it."
"Just as I wanted my sister to be happy, my mother wanted both of her daughters to be equally happy."
Ichinose laid her past bare.
Sorry.
His family was a dual-income household. Besides being well-fed and clothed, they had monthly pocket money and even the spare resources to send both of them to cram schools.
Therefore, he couldn't quite empathize.
But he just needed to know that Ichinose had it hard. Even so, Ichinose grew up to be so kind; her family must have been very happy.
"Of course, I knew that even without money, if my grades were good enough, I could use the tuition waiver system. So I studied desperately and became rank one in the whole school."
"But, in the summer of my third year of middle school, my mother collapsed because she pushed herself too hard."
Yeah.
Hikigaya wasn't very clear on exactly how much it cost to raise two children, but it was definitely expensive.
Collapsing was understandable.
Therefore, Hikigaya honestly kept his mouth shut and listened silently.
"At that time, my sister's birthday was coming up. She never asked for any birthday gifts from me or Mother, even though she was only in her first year of middle school—she could have acted more spoiled toward us."
"But she kept enduring, not buying the clothes she wanted, not going out with friends—she was always enduring."
"But that sister, for the first time, had something she wanted to buy. It was a hair clip that was popular last year; it was her favorite accessory."
"I think Mother must have pushed herself to take extra shifts just for that hair clip."
"Um..."
Hikigaya really didn't understand. "Is that hair clip really that expensive?"
Although he knew Ichinose's family had it hard, it was hard to imagine they were so poor they couldn't even afford a hair clip.
"Yes, usually it costs more than 10,000 yen."
"Oh."
Hikigaya admitted his lack of worldliness.
That was expensive.
Over 10,000 for a hair clip—that was indeed way too much.
If Komachi dared to choose such an expensive hair clip, the Hikigaya family... well, they would probably do their best to buy it anyway.
He could understand now.
"I still remember it now."
Ichinose secretly observed Hikigaya's expression, her face darkening:
"I still remember Mother crying and apologizing on the hospital bed, and the painful expressions my sister made. I remember the look on my sister's face when she cried and shouted for the hair clip she had been looking forward to."
Hikigaya frowned.
Knowing the family was struggling but still wanting such an expensive hair clip was one thing, but to then scream and cry at family members...
Komachi had been taking care of her trash brother since middle school. She would never do something like that.
He felt this sister was a bit immature.
However, if Komachi had yelled at them like that, the Hikigaya family would probably only blame themselves. His "crappy old man" would just work even harder.
Uh, it seemed he didn't have the right to criticize others either.
"I really couldn't blame my sister."
Ichinose's expression was dark. "As the older sister, I had to find a way to bring back my sister's smile. So on the day of her birthday, I went to the department store after school."
"I think my thoughts at the time were very dark. I thought, 'What does it matter? It's just doing one bad thing for my sister, it's no big deal. There are plenty of people in the world doing bad things. We've endured until now, we shouldn't be blamed.'"
"I made such a selfish and willful justification and stole the hair clip my sister wanted."
"Wait."
Hikigaya asked in confusion, "Didn't you say you didn't succeed?"
Something worth over 10,000 yen. No matter how you looked at it, it was too expensive and was indeed a criminal act.
"Yes."
Ichinose nodded, her expression bitter:
"At the time, I took the hair clip home and gave it to my sister. Seeing her smile return did indeed lighten my guilt. But afterward, I realized it was wrong, and my guilt gradually increased."
"If a daughter does something bad, it's impossible for the mother not to notice. My sister probably didn't realize I was giving her stolen goods either."
"At that time, I saw my mother truly enraged for the first time. She slapped me hard and took the gift away from my sister."
"Later, I was taken by my mother—who still needed to be hospitalized—to the store to bow and apologize, begging for forgiveness. It was only then that I understood how serious the crime I had committed was."
"In the end, the people at the store didn't hand me over to the police, but the commotion spread in the blink of an eye. I shut myself off and stayed in my room for nearly half a year."
"Until I learned about this school. I thought I wanted to start over, to begin again from zero."
"That is my past."
As she spoke, Ichinose lowered her head deeply.
"Um..."
Hikigaya scratched his head, somewhat bewildered. "Is that it?"
"Eh?"
"Can a criminal like me... be forgiven?"
"No..."
Hikigaya scratched his head, feeling a bit dazed. "Wasn't the item returned? And the shopkeeper already forgave you, right? I don't understand at all why this still counts as a crime?"
He felt like Ichinose might be teasing him.
Over such a small matter, Ichinose actually shut herself away for that long? Should he call her too kind or something else?
"But."
Ichinose shook her head bitterly. "A crime once committed does not disappear."
"Are you an idiot?"
"Installment plans, use now and pay later—haven't you heard of such famous marketing tactics?"
"You didn't steal it; you just took it back to use for a bit and then paid the money later, right?"
Hikigaya was truly speechless. "If you really feel bad about it, just give them more money after you graduate. I'm sure they'd be happy to accept it."
This was hopeless.
He didn't expect Ichinose to be so kind to this extent. He felt like she could be easily taken advantage of.
Hikigaya even started thinking about whether he should take advantage of Ichinose so that he might never have to worry about food or clothes again.
"Eh?"
Ichinose blanked for a moment, then said bitterly, "Even so, I still can't accept this version of myself."
"Can someone like me, with a criminal record, really become the leader of Class B?"
"Idiot."
Hikigaya said helplessly, "If I had to nitpick every little thing like that, wouldn't I have been sentenced to death long ago?"
Seeing that Ichinose still couldn't accept it, Hikigaya finally understood.
It was likely because of this experience that Ichinose had always looked down on herself.
Despite having excellent grades, a good personality, and being very beautiful.
It was just that her sense of responsibility was far too strong.
"Hikigaya-kun..."
Ichinose said, slightly dazed, "Have you... also stolen things?"
"Well..."
Hikigaya said indifferently, "I don't remember stealing, though I probably took classmates' erasers and things like that. Other than that, in elementary school, I secretly swapped recorders with a girl, or wrote 'Go die' on a classmate's desk?"
"That's too much."
Ichinose's gaze was resentful.
Neither of those was something she could accept. Clearly, Hikigaya was also conscious of having done wrong things.
Feeling Ichinose's gaze, Hikigaya quickly looked away.
Thinking back to his elementary school self—who felt secretly smug about swapping recorders with a girl—Hikigaya felt a bit of shame.
But as for writing "Go die" on a classmate's desk, Hikigaya felt absolutely nothing. That was necessary.
"Everyone in the world has probably done some wrong things."
After a long while, Hikigaya looked back at Ichinose. "And, well, Ichinose, aren't you being a bit too self-conscious? What you did isn't even a thing."
"Eh?"
Ichinose was suddenly stunned.
She didn't expect the words she had just used on Hikigaya to be thrown back at her.
What she did "wasn't even a thing"?
"Really?"
"At least that's how it seems to me."
Hikigaya didn't dare guarantee it for others, so he said with some hesitation:
"And, how should I put it, hearing about your past gives me a sense of relief."
"Eh, why is that?"
"Because."
Hikigaya breathed a genuine sigh of relief. "The old you felt too oppressive. Now, you're not some perfect saint. This feels much better and makes me feel relieved. I'm sure the others in Class B will feel the same way."
"Will they?"
"They definitely will."
Hikigaya nodded.
"Even if they know your past, Kanzaki and the others will definitely accept you. There should be quite a few people who, like me, will feel relieved."
On this point, having stayed in Class B for a year, Hikigaya could practically guarantee it.
Seeing Ichinose lowering her head in thought, Hikigaya said indifferently:
"Do you want to try telling them about your past?"
"I... I'll consider it."
After all, this was Ichinose's own business. Hikigaya wouldn't force her.
"Alright, then we're even now."
Making Ichinose speak her past was just to alleviate the guilt in her heart. This should make things even.
"..."
Ichinose looked up at the youth before her, a bitter smile touching the corner of her mouth.
He was still so gentle and asked for nothing in return, but how could she accept it with a clear conscience?
"Let's leave it at that for now..."
Ichinose glanced at Hikigaya.
Was this really enough? How could her past compare to Hikigaya's reputation?
Ichinose said with some hesitation:
"Then I'll head back first?"
"Oh, I'll walk you to the door."
Hikigaya quickly stood up.
This matter was finally settled.