Jaya clenched her fist, her face turning yellow. She was shocked by Ivan's mouth backing her. Her own son was against her for what? Jaya couldn't stand it anymore, so she simply avoided Ivan's gaze that continued staring at her.
"Marcus… I… really… love him," she shook her head, breathing heavily, clearly nervous.
"Love? Stop lying to yourself." Ivan said with dead eyes.
"I'm not lying. Love can happen at any age. It doesn't see whether you're married or single. It can happen to anybody."
"Then why him? Why not my dad? Why someone else?
Why didn't you love my dad back for what he did for you? He loved you a lot, mother… and see, he is gone. He is not with us anymore. We lost him… you lost him… I lost him… because of this extramarital affair. You should understand you can't roam around with somebody else when your husband is waiting for you in the bedroom, you fvcking whore!" Ivan shouted, throwing everything around him the lamp, the books, the mirror. He threw everything onto the floor.
"Lower your voice, Ivan," Jaya shouted at him.
"Mother, I've always lowered my voice. But not anymore." Ivan shouted back at her.
"Ivan… when I met your father, we were happy. We loved each other. And I still miss him… as a partner, I agree, I loved him. I always chose him. But love can fade. Love always fades. It never lasts forever. And sometimes it's good to let a person go… let go."
"And after you were born… we lost it. We lost our love. We lost spending time together. Distance came into our lives, and we both knew we weren't like before. So it's not related to Marcus and me. Our love had already faded before Marcus entered my life."
"Are you saying it's my fault that I was born?"
"No. It's not your fault, my son. It's how children are. They come into their parents' lives, and when they're born, they take everything. Your father and I became parents. We had responsibilities to raise you, to give you a better life. And in these circumstances, we drifted apart. We both did. The love… was gone between him and me."
"Then why did you give birth to me? Why?" Ivan screamed in a high tone.
Jaya st
epped back from Ivan. She was afraid of him, but still, in her breaking voice slow, low, trembling she spoke.
"I don't know… maybe because I was too young. I fell into it too fast. I became a mother before I was ready. I had to understand that being a mother, a father, being parents isn't easy. We had to sacrifice ourselves… our lives… but I didn't understand it."
"You hurt me!" Ivan gritted his teeth.
"It hurts? Baby, you're growing up now. You're going to be an older brother. You have to learn to control your emotions… to let go of your father. He's gone.
Only we remain.
Don't stay away from your mother. We can't go back and change things, right? We have to fight together. After all, we are family. And in the end Only your mother remains.
So respect me. Be grateful to me. I don't want anything else from you. I just want you to be a good boy. Trust your mother. I'm not a villain. I'm not evil… I love you, my baby."
Jaya stepped forward, her foot moving toward where Ivan stood beside the couch. Anger still rose in his veins, his blood warming. His body started to ache. He controlled his anger. He couldn't kill the lady in front of him. He never could become a killer… never.