~Episode 9~
After a few minutes of silent walking, he put his hands in the front pocket of his blue school uniform pants, like he didn't care about anything. He was free of every emotion that holds humans tightly.
"Isn't it the most beautiful feeling in the world to kill someone who tortures you?"
"Killing is a crime," Ivan replied without looking at him.
"Nothing is a crime. In the old days people thought going against religion was a crime… sex was a crime… love was a crime," Ryaan said with great confidence about his thoughts, like he was sure he was right and, of course, others were wrong in front of him. Ryaan was egoistic; he was a new student at the school.
"But taking someone's life is actually a crime."
Ivan again defended his beliefs beliefs his father taught him, the system of humans where a little humanity is still alive in the name of justice. But Ivan thought every night… if others believe in justice and humanity, then why do other men still do criminal things?
He realized at a very young age that there were only two types of humans: one is good, and the other is bad… and the bad ones are the majority.
Then why was this justice system built? He thought and thought and thought.
"No, dude what if that person tried to kill you? It's self-defense." Ryaan's words had a deep meaning. Ivan understood it soon. Instead of nodding his head, he again gave him the reason not to kill another human because as a human, Ivan couldn't kill someone for his own selfishness. That was all in his head.
"No… but that person is unarmed."
"Emotional abuse isn't defense. If we hate someone's presence and it threatens us, that's why we want to kill them."
"I don't get it."
"My father killed my mom in front of my eyes because he hated her. He choked her. Silenced her forever."
"Didn't you ever want to silence someone?"
Ryaan's question about silencing someone hit Ivan hard. Just a few minutes ago, he cut himself because he couldn't cut his mother or her boyfriend. How useless and full of excuses he felt. But defending himself was the only choice he had. Instead of giving pain to others, a weak person gives it to himself. That is also a crime and injustice towards oneself.
"I believe in law and justice."
"Oh come on, buddy—my dad is in jail. They say he's being punished, but he's enjoying it there."
"Don't make that up. No one enjoys prison."
"But he does. Criminals enjoy it there too. They don't care about other people's pain; they don't feel pain. Everything about punishment is a lie."
Ryaan's words were heavy and meaningful, words that could turn a normal person into a monster, and Ivan was afraid of it. Afraid of every word Ryaan said he was losing his mind. His thoughts and Ryaan's logical reasoning were capturing his head.