This is making me feel awkward, nervous, and a bit excited all at once… I'm constantly looking around. I don't want to let my guard down completely. Two guys sit at a picnic table, and one looks like he's having fun taking out the pumpkin guts, and the other (me), who watches in concern. I don't know why; it looks so gooey to me. "Isn't that gross?" I asked, head resting against my hand, watching him do whatever he was doing. "No, it's pretty satisfying, actually. You think this stuff is edible, right?" Sticking his hand out towards me with a handful of guts. "Ew, get that away from me." My whole body is avoiding any possibility.y of that sticky stuff getting on my clothes. After a few more minutes, he eventually came to a stop, showing me the inside of the pumpkin he worked so hard to clean.
They gave us a mini trash can and the tools needed for carving it. He then slid me the pumpkin. I looked at him a bit puzzled because what am I supposed to do with this? "Don't you want to outline it?" I held up the empty pumpkin, turning it around just to see if I could outline it, but I don't have that much trust in myself. " I think I would mess this up…like really bad.." I put the pumpkin down, attempting to slide it back to him. "It doesn't matter if it's bad; it's supposed to look weird." He handed me the marker, and I reluctantly took it. I didn't want to spoil his fun because I didn't participate in anything. Plus, not to mention, he did do the grossest part. So this is the least I can do. My hand was a bit stiff trying to make the eyes, and I messed it up a bit, but I kept editing it until it looked pretty good…for a pumpkin? I didn't notice him looking at me with such intent until I looked up and caught his tense gaze head-on. My breath came to a halt for a second. I let out a deep breath, going back to trying to make my carving design not so horrible. Once I was done, I gave it to him. He looked at it and smiled. "That's pretty good." He said in his monotone voice. Watching him carve, I felt a pair of eyes staring in our direction, and when I looked back, two women were giving me a funny look. I turned back around pretty quickly, feeling my heart sink a bit.
"What happened?" Damien stopped carving. I could still feel those two looking in our direction…"They're staring," I whispered. He looked behind me, "Those ladies?" he asked. I nodded, putting my head down.
"Why?" he asked, and I knew why, but to bring it up? Just to expose myself? Why would I do that…. I can't. "I don't know, but don't they know it's rude to stare?" I sighed. I saw his gaze move from them and back to me, but I refused to make any eye contact with him. Maybe it was just me, but it felt like things were getting awkward, like the longer I stayed, the riskier things would get for me.
Even though he was still carving, I could hear children giggling from afar, turned into background noise, as I peeked at a couple of benches down, perhaps on a date. These kinds of things feel like it for couples or a family activity. I shifted in my seat, getting closer to the edge, to stand up. "Where are you going?" he whispered. Perhaps hoping I wasn't leaving him out of the blue. I glanced to the side and made eye contact with one of the women again, Wow, this is getting so weird I thought to myself. The sharp wind blew past my face. "I'm just going to find something warm to drink." I lied, I just wanted to get away, which I did.
When I got to the Cafe on Campus, they were closed. I checked the time and didn't realize how fast time had gone by. Now what do I do? I could've just done what any other normal person would do and just go back, but it'd be too soon. I sat down at the tables by the cafe. Thinking about how I should proceed with Damien, when I decide to head back. How could I somehow finish this event on a positive note, but the more I thought about the less it felt like a possibility. "Jaci?" I lazily looked up to see that he had found me. I guess I was taking too long to get back.
Still, I didn't feel like moving or anything, so I went back to spacing out, rude, I know, but today was just a bit over the top for me. "Are you okay??" He stepped into my line of view, and I let out a breath."Just getting tired, I guess."
The sun is setting, and the crowd's noise has grown weaker since I can't hear them anymore. He shook my shoulder. "Come on, let's go back." I stood up, "Okay." I mumbled, following him to our previous location.
Right beside our pumpkin sat two drinks and fall-themed cupcakes still in their case. "Did someone leave those?" Confused about why they thought our pumpkin was a trash spot. Like, it does not look that bad, I mean, yeah, it has an extra hole on the side of it, but it's creative. "No." Damien whispered, "I paid for them earlier and just had them set them at our table while I went to find you." Oh. My cheeks flushed a bit. I wasn't expecting him to do something like that when I left. I shook my head. "So you knew the cafe was closed and didn't tell me?" I chuckled.
"Well, it looked like you just needed to get away, so I didn't bother." His voice soft, he shrugged his shoulders and started opening the case of cupcakes.
"Now you can eat and drink right here," he held the case in my direction, indicating for me to take one before him. "Thank you," I say, taking the vanilla with orange frosting. A pumpkin cartoon stuck out from the middle.
The campus was empty now. Orange,purple-ish skies above us. We moved some stuff to the side and sat on the table top, just enjoying the peace together. "Sorry if I didn't make today as fun as you'd hope," I whispered. I cupped the warm drink in my hands as I tapped on it with my finger.
Too busy being in my own head, I feel like I ruined it a bit for him in the middle of it."Well, last year I was by myself,… this year I wasn't. So wouldn't that make this year better?" he said, his eyes went from my hands, to us staring into one another. I smiled sheepishly. Relieved that he wasn't as upset as I thought.
"Maybe so," I answered.
Maybe so…