The next several days is mixed torture to me.
Subus ignored me whenever we are alone, but suddenly treated me sweetly whenever someone else is around.
Everyone became cheerful because of her presence and i somehow felt that they began to forget the previous experience we had.
Or I had.
To be fair, it was only I who suffered.
I suffered pain,
humiliation,
torture,
things that would not heal this time or for quite some time.
I tried to think maturely. I admit that I cannot act normally like them.
I'm far too damaged.
I'm afraid I might hurt them. To genuinely love them, I must address my own pain and heal. I must learn to love myself first before I could love others wholeheartedly.
For now, I am too hurt.
And tired.
I lost my direction. My dreams, comfort and peace.
Maybe it's time for another change.
Humans can easily adapt to changes after all.
I need to heal myself away from them.
I need to grow.
....
I just stayed in my room.
Lion looked hurt when I told him that I would go back to my room. I made a silly excuse of some sorts, telling him that I need to design more stuff so we can have another business.
He tried to embrace me but I gently pushed him away, telling him with a smile that he needs to go back to work.
I tried to go back to my room when he suddenly held my wrist. I glanced back and saw he looked dejected, his eyes staring at the ground while he clenched his other hand by his side.
He asked me if I was planning to abandon him and looked at me with dull eyes.
I didn't say anything to him and instead, slowly removed his hand from my wrist.
At that time, Ghost, Sly and Subus were laughing about something together just as they went out from Orm's room. I heard Orm yelling about something and the 3 of them laughed even harder. They invited Lion to join them while Subus went near him, shooting me a triumphant look.
Honestly, I don't really care. I just shrugged my shoulders and told them to have fun while I went inside my room.
I did not glance back.
....
I'm unable to design anything. All those ideas that I had seemed useless. I just went inside the bathroom and spent a long time crying my eyes out.
I'm just so tired.
I looked at myself in the mirror and felt emptiness.
....
I sometimes visited the garden by myself. I loved the silence and the serenity I felt, surrounded by nature. I leaned against Pinky's tree trunk as his branch seems to envelop me in a hug.
The moons seemed to invite me and I somehow felt longing to go somewhere far away.
I heard laughter and saw Ghost and Subus having some kind of an interesting conversation while Lion followed them, looking sullen.
I immediately tried to leave while giving them a polite nod in which Lion ignored. He averted his eyes and refused to look at me.
Oh well.
I deserved that.
Subus went towards me and held my arm, telling Ghost and Lion that we are excusing ourselves and have a little "female chat". Ghost tried to protest and nudged Lion, who remained silent. Subus gave them a hundred megawatt smile and then we left.
....
Inside my room, I asked Subus frankly on why see wants to spend time with me when she doesn't even like me.
She thought for a moment and then asked me in a condescending way, if I want my body to be the same way as like before.
Before I copulated with other creatures, while breaking Lion's heart, she added mockingly.
I stayed silent. I know she is trying to get rid of me.
She smiled wickedly and whispered in my ear that she can also help me get out from this place.
Now I'm getting interested.
How? I asked her. I would easily be captured by the remaining high council in my current state.
Subus gave a maniacal laughter and told me with amusement, that she can also change me into a creature.
Would you like to become beautiful? She taunted me while circling around me. Her eyes looked at me with so much hatred.
I shake my head and told her that I wanted to be changed into something more hideous that can defend itself.
She looked surprised and then told me her price.
Just stay inside Lion's closet for awhile, she said in a weird kind of voice.
I looked at her with surprise and told her that she should teleport me there with her magic.
She shrugged and told me that it is an easy request for something so valuable.
She then began to speak some sort of language and my body began to emit light then it disappeared.
I somehow felt different. I felt my body sort of... healed. But although I was back to the way I used to before the copulation, my mind and spirit is still broken.
Done, she said, interrupting my thoughts.
I nodded my thanks.
Now do your part, she ordered. I will just give a signal and then you can escape from here. As soon as you leave the closet, who will be changed into something that you want.
Why should I go to Lion's room? I asked her suspiciously.
She just grinned and looked at me with disgusted face.
You really are hideous, she said as I slowly disappeared.
You know what? Maybe she's right after all.
....
I was stuck in Lion's closet for a long time.
I heard boisterous laughter from somewhere.
Nobody looked for me.
Nobody asked for me.
I am unwanted. After all, I am an anomaly.
All kinds of thoughts swirled inside my mind, taunting me, as I sat there, surrounded by darkness.
Tears fell down my cheeks. I need to get away from here.
I feel so alone.
I hated myself.
After a long time, the lights suddenly flickered to life and I heard Lion mumbling something drunkenly. He kept mentioning my name and I heard Subus voice reassuring him. I moved closer to the door and found a hole and peeked.
Lion removed his shirt and laid down the bed, drunkenly calling out my name while Subus pretending to be me, answered him softly, while stroking his hair.
He kept on apologizing while crying. Subus kept on whispering to him, saying all sorts of comfort.
He looked devastated. He glanced at Subus, thinking she was me, stroke her hair, lovingly gazing at her with so much passion in his eyes that my heart starts to hurt.
Subus went towards him and kissed him gently while he laid there. He soon started to close his eyes and then pulled her on top of him, embracing her while kissing her passionately.
Subus then sat up and straddled him, removing her clothes while he looked at her with intense desire. She then began to remove his pants and she kissed him then started to kiss his body downwards. He moaned my name and I finally decided that I had enough and tried to open the door when Subus glanced towards the closet and raised her eyebrow then distracted Lion by licking his abdomen. I thought of a creature's image that I saw in the internet back on earth then slowly went outside the closet.
I felt myself turned into werewolf.
I turned to look at Lion for the last time and saw him and Subus kissing each other hungrily.
Then I disappeared.
Good bye Lion.