"...That old geezer isn't lying to you."
Kisame spoke up suddenly. He was clutching a crumpled piece of paper in his hand, squinting at a few lines of text scrawled on it.
It was the script Makoto had handed him after they caught up.
Apparently, these were his lines.
As soon as the shark-man spoke, everyone's eyes snapped to him.
"For the mission reward," Kisame continued, reading from the paper with zero enthusiasm, "we only took one ryo."
Fortunately, Kisame naturally possessed dead-fish eyes and a flat, emotionless voice.
He didn't need to act; he just needed to be himself.
"What?" Tazuna and Team Kakashi stared in disbelief.
One ryo? Even a bowl of ramen cost sixty!
What the hell can you do with one ryo? Buy a single piece of cheap candy?
Were they some kind of charity organization?
"Hehe. Old man," Kisame chuckled dryly, glancing back at the script before looking at Tazuna. "You have a daughter-in-law named Tsunami, right?"
"Nani?! What did you do to Tsunami?!"
Tazuna snapped out of his confusion instantly.
A look of horror dawned on his face as he screamed, his expression twisting into grief and resentment.
"We didn't do anything," Kisame droned on. "I can only say that Tsunami... she's very... Busty."
As he said the word, Kisame improvised and licked his lips.
It was terrifying!
"Waaaaah! We're finished! We've suffered so much!!"
Tazuna burst into tears, wailing at the sky.
"Old man," Kisame continued, ignoring the crying. "You also have a grandson named Inari, right?"
"What?! Inari? What happened to my precious grandson?!"
Hearing the name, Tazuna instantly cut off his wailing.
His eyes bulged.
Evidently, his daughter-in-law was important, but his grandson was the apple of his eye!
His son was dead, and Tsunami had remarried, but Inari was his blood.
"He is also... very supple."
"HUUUUHHH?"
"..."
"Waaaaah! My poor grandson!!!"
Tazuna froze for a second, processing the implication.
He sized up Kisame—blue skin, gills, shark eyes—and realized that this freak looked exactly like the type of monster who would do unspeakable things.
Despair flooded his heart
He started howling and wailing again, and this time, the tears were 100% genuine.
"Kakashi-sensei," Naruto whispered, tugging on his teacher's vest. "What does 'very supple' mean? And are you sure those two aren't enemies?"
"That's... not something you need to understand right now, Naruto," Kakashi sighed, rubbing his temples.
"As for them... it seems they aren't enemies. If they were, they've had a dozen chances to kill the client already."
Kakashi stepped forward, glancing at the sobbing bridge builder.
"Tazuna-san, please shut up for a moment. If I'm not mistaken, these two possess a very dark sense of humor."
Once the noise died down, Kakashi turned his sharp gaze to Makoto. "What is your goal here? Do you expect us to abandon the mission and hand it over to you?"
"Huh? No way, Kakashi-sen—Mmph!"
Naruto panicked, thinking his first big mission was being stolen.
He opened his mouth to scream, but Sasuke reacted instantly, whipping a Soldier Pill into Naruto's open mouth like a shuriken.
Gulp.
Naruto choked, effectively silenced.
"Your mission is simply to escort this old drunk to the Land of Waves, correct?" Makoto asked calmly.
"...The details are confidential. But since you asked, as the Jonin in charge, I can confirm that is correct."
"Then it doesn't matter if you give it up or not," Makoto shrugged. "Our objectives don't conflict. However, I'll give you a friendly reminder: Among your enemies this time is a member of the Seven Ninja Swordsmen."
"...Thank you for the intel," Kakashi said, his eye narrowing. "I need to discuss this with my team. Give us a moment."
"Go ahead."
Kakashi dragged Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura into a bushes a few meters away.
Naturally, Tazuna was left standing there, alone and miserable.
While the Genin argued, Kakashi ran the numbers in his head.
'They said the enemy is a Swordsman. They probably took this 'one ryo' mission just to hunt the target. That explains why they're tagging along—they're using us as bait to draw out the enemy.'
"Kakashi-sensei! We finally got a real mission, we can't quit now!" Naruto shouted, ruining the stealth of the huddle.
"Sasuke, Sakura, say something! You wanna go back to pulling weeds and chasing that fat lady's cat?!"
Kakashi winced. The other two looked dark.
The "secret meeting" was now pointless.
"I agree with the dead-last," Sasuke said, glancing over his shoulder at Kisame and Makoto.
He had a brother to kill; he wasn't going to get stronger by chasing cats.
He couldn't back down.
"I-I agree too," Sakura stammered. She actually wanted to quit immediately, but if Sasuke was staying, she had to stay.
"Alright then."
Kakashi nodded and turned back to the pair.
"Gentlemen."
He didn't need to say anything else. Naruto had screamed their decision loud enough for the next village to hear.
'Kisame, use a Transformation Jutsu,' Makoto secretly ordered. 'You and Samehada are walking billboards. Too conspicuous.'
Kisame nodded, performing the signs.
The group set off again.
....
A day passed.
They reached the river that bordered the Land of Waves.
Kakashi was standing on the water's surface, lecturing the three Genin on chakra control, when a thick, unnatural fog began to roll in.
Kakashi's head snapped toward the riverbank where Makoto and Kisame were sitting, eating rations.
'They didn't do this. It's a third party!'
"Be careful!" Kakashi shouted to his team, crouching into a defensive stance. "Enemy attack!"
On the bank, Makoto and Kisame didn't even stand up.
Kakashi realized he was on his own for this one.
"This Hidden Mist Jutsu is the signature move of Kirigakure, right?" Makoto asked, taking a bite of a rice ball while watching the fog thicken.
"So, how do you guys actually see the enemy in this fog?"
"We don't," Kisame replied, bored. "We rely on other senses. Sound, smell, bloodlust. We train one sense to its peak to assassinate targets in the blind spots..."
"So," Makoto chewed thoughtfully. "If you run into a Hyuga with a Byakugan, isn't using the Hidden Mist basically just blinding yourself while the enemy can still see you perfectly?"
"Uh..." Kisame paused, looking awkward. "Well... yes."
"No wonder the Mist Village treats that one stolen Byakugan like a national treasure," Makoto laughed.
"Though that guy Ao hasn't really developed it much. He just uses it like a fancy pair of binoculars."
"Mm," Kisame grunted. "The chakra signature... it's definitely Zabuza."
"By the way," Makoto asked, looking at his partner. "When you guys hold auditions for the Seven Ninja Swordsmen, is the number one requirement that your name has to be a fruit?"
"..."
Kisame stared at him, speechless.
Momochi (Peach). Hoshigaki (Persimmon). Ringo (Apple).
It sounded stupid, but it was true.
Obviously, the selection was based on murder skills and chakra reserves.
Abstract nonsense like "fruit names" shouldn't matter.
But, believe it or not, every single one of them had a fruit in their name.
It was like some invisible author was pulling the strings of fate just for a pun!
While they were chatting, the battle on the water was reaching its climax.
Kakashi had outmaneuvered the Demon of the Mist.
He had Zabuza pinned.
'Now.'
CLANG!
Just as Kakashi was about to drive a kunai into Zabuza's throat to finish him off, a massive blur intercepted him.
Kisame was there. Samehada—still wrapped in bandages—slammed into Kakashi's kunai, blocking the death blow effortlessly.
"What?" Kakashi gasped, jumping back.
Up in the trees, a masked boy holding senbon needles froze.
He had been just about to throw the needles to put Zabuza into a fake death state to save him.
Now, he didn't know what to do.
His script had just been shattered!