"Alright, I've given you the answer. It's fine if you don't get it now; you'll understand when you're older. If you really can't figure it out, just ask Kakashi."
Makoto dusted off his pants and stood up.
"Speaking of the devil, he should be waking up any second now. Pack him up and get moving. Your mission is officially complete."
Makoto glanced over at Kakashi, who was sprawled out on the grass like a wet dog.
Unlike the original timeline, where Kakashi was in a coma for a week after being subjected to Tsukuyomi, this time Itachi had held back—at Makoto's insistence.
He didn't put Kakashi through the full 72-hour torture simulation.
Instead, he just made Kakashi relive a "Greatest Hits" compilation of his trauma.
Specifically, the Chidori piercing through Rin's chest.
For Itachi, this was easy work.
It was basically the same thing he did to Sasuke on a loop. The only issue was that Itachi hadn't actually been there when Rin died.
Fortunately, Makoto—being the helpful, detail-oriented psychopath he was—had prepared a storyboard and reference photos in advance.
All Itachi had to do was follow the script.
"Let's go."
The three Genin spent a solid ten minutes looking for their carriage, only to discover that Zabuza had sliced it into firewood during the fight.
With no other option, Naruto hoisted Kakashi onto his back, and the battered Team 7 began their limp back towards the road.
...
On the road back to the Hidden Leaf.
"Drink a glass of milk? What the hell does that mean? Is it for calcium? Bone density?"
Sasuke was muttering to himself, trying to decipher Makoto's cryptic advice.
He remembered Makoto saying that his body wasn't strong enough to handle the Sharingan yet.
Maybe the milk was a metaphor for enhancing his constitution?
But... Naruto's milk?
This was the method for the ultimate evolution of the Sharingan!
"Hey, dead-last," Sasuke broke the silence, turning to the blonde. "Is there anything... special about the milk at your house?"
"Special?" Naruto blinked, adjusting Kakashi's weight on his back. "Uh, not really? It's usually kinda sour and chunky. I used to throw it out, but then Choji told me that's just called 'yogurt,' so now I just chug it. Why?"
"..."
Sasuke stared at him.
"You moron," Sasuke said, his voice flat. "That's because it's expired."
He rubbed his temples.
This idiot was drinking spoiled milk and calling it yogurt.
How was his physique so good? Was diarrhea the secret to the Sage's body?
"What's expired?"
A groggy voice came from Naruto's shoulder. Kakashi slowly opened his single visible eye.
Because the Tsukuyomi was the "Lite Version," Kakashi didn't need a hospital stay.
His brain was scrambled, sure, but he wasn't broken. He slid off Naruto's back, landing on his feet, albeit a bit shakily.
"Hm?"
Kakashi adjusted his mask.
It felt weird.
Like someone had stuffed a napkin in there while he was out.
Plap.
A folded piece of paper fell out from under his chin.
Kakashi stared at it for a second, hesitating, before picking it up.
He already knew who put it there.
He read the note. Then he read it again.
His visible eye widened in sheer confusion.
Before he could process the paper, Sasuke walked up.
He quickly filled Kakashi in on what happened: the "peaceful" resolution, the weird lore dump about the future, and Makoto's advice.
The phrase "In the future, the Shinobi World will face an invasion, and we need to gather power" gave Kakashi a convenient excuse to latch onto.
It explained everything.
It explained why these S-rank criminals let them live. It explained why they gave Sasuke advice.
It wasn't mercy, it was recruitment for a future war!
"So, Kakashi," Sasuke pressed, stepping into his personal space. "What's the deal with the milk? He said I'd understand when I'm older, or I could just ask you. You definitely know, right?"
"Milk..." Kakashi froze.
As a platinum-tier subscriber to the Icha Icha series, a man who appeared stoic but was inwardly a raging pervert, Kakashi connected the dots instantly.
He realized what the "First Method" was. Taking flesh. Hashirama cells.
Madara had bitten off a piece of the First Hokage.
That meant the "Second Method"—obtaining the chakra (DNA) through fluid without harming the host—was...
'Oh.'
'Oh hell nah.'
It was perverted. It was incredibly, violently perverted.
It was filthier than the plot of Icha Icha Paradise Vol. 3!
Kakashi suddenly wished Makoto was a novelist.
The man had a twisted imagination.
"Kakashi! Your face keeps twitching. You know what it is, don't you? Tell me!" Sasuke demanded, misinterpreting Kakashi's horror for deep thought.
"Sasuke..." Kakashi sighed, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Since he said you'll understand when you're older... why the rush? You're still young."
He looked at his student with pity. "Besides... that method is... well, if people found out you were doing it, you'd get some very strange looks from society."
"Huh?" Sasuke scowled. "He said that too. Something about 'strange gazes from the world.'"
Sasuke clenched his fist, his eyes burning with edgelord intensity.
"Kakashi, do you think I care about that? As a shinobi, I have to endure humiliation! If I can't even handle some awkward stares, how can I ever kill that man?"
"..."
Kakashi just stared at him.
Sasuke thought the "strange looks" would be because drinking milk is for babies.
Kakashi knew the "strange looks" would be because Sasuke would be... sourcing... the "milk" from Naruto.
"I'm not trying to stop you," Kakashi said weakly. "It's just... you really need to be mentally prepared. It's a lot to swallow."
"I can do it," Sasuke declared.
Kakashi rubbed his forehead.
If this was truly the only way to save the world without hurting Naruto, then he had to support it.
'Though, there is another option,' Kakashi thought.
'If I become strong enough to protect them, Sasuke won't have to resort to... that.'
Suddenly, the image of Itachi's Mangekyo Sharingan flashed in his mind.
Makoto's true goal in having Itachi attack Kakashi wasn't just torture—it was a tutorial.
Kakashi had awakened his Mangekyo years ago when Rin died, but he had suppressed the memory.
He hadn't realized he possessed the eye until much later.
In the original timeline, Itachi's Tsukuyomi forced him to confront his mental barriers, allowing him to slowly unlock Kamui.
Makoto was just hitting the fast-forward button.
Kakashi looked at the crumpled note in his hand again
The instructions were simple, yet baffling.
'When you practice your new eye technique, please aim exclusively at the Hidden Leaf Village's septic tanks.'
Kakashi had no idea why.
He couldn't ask.
But so far, Makoto had helped them. He let them live. He gave Sasuke a path to power. He helped Kakashi unlock his eye.
The request was disgusting, sure, but not impossible.
'Fine,' Kakashi decided. 'I'll practice on the poop tanks.'
...
Meanwhile, in a dark, pocket dimension.
Miles away, the Masked Man—Obito Uchiha—had just sat down on a concrete block in the Kamui dimension.
It had been a long day of plotting and manipulating.
He was starving!
He held a steaming bowl of spicy curry rice in his hands.
He removed his orange mask, the aroma of the curry filling the void.
He opened his mouth, anticipating the first delicious bite.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, something wet and brown materialized from the void above him, splashing directly into his bowl!
"Achoo!"
Obito sneezed, staring at his ruined lunch in horror.