Regardless of how Fudge had been turned away by the Malfoys, and no matter how he failed to locate Hydras Lestrange, the OWLs exams arrived on schedule.
The first morning was Charms.
Audrey passed easily. She thought the skinny Professor Moddie probably had barely over one "point" of combat power; if it came to a duel, he probably wouldn't last two rounds.
That afternoon was History of Magic.
Though some questions were obscure, her eleven years of secretly treating magical history as oddities, combined with tips from Nick Lemmy, made even getting an E effortless.
The second morning was Transfiguration, the only subject she had attended for a full year. Under the strict tutelage of the elderly catgirl, if she didn't get an Outstanding, she might as well… end it all.
Exams had been going so smoothly that Audrey envisioned a life two years later: freedom to fly across the skies, swim in boundless seas, a life without limits.
She was going to retire!
She was going to enjoy life!
She was going to be the supreme ruler in Ukraine!
…Until the final exam: Muggle Studies.
The moment Audrey saw the test, she froze. The questions were utterly absurd—beyond ridiculous.
Here are three sample questions from the 1992 Ordinary Wizarding Level exam for British wizards:
What powers a Muggle car?
A. One hundred hamsters
B. Water
C. Horses
D. Magic hub
Audrey: ...…
Why did Hitler fall?
A. Didn't check the stars
B. Didn't heed wizard prophecies and divinations
C. Destroyed a wizarding village in Denmark
D. His little mustache was displeasing
Audrey: …this…
Most popular sport in the Muggle world?
A. Parades
B. Beheading the king
C. Having children
D. Chasing wizards
Audrey: I think… it's "zero-cost shopping"?
She walked out of the exam hall in a daze, her worldview shaken.
Who am I?
Where am I?
What am I doing?
Seeing Audrey's pale expression, Iselin approached.
"Audrey, what's wrong?"
Audrey turned mechanically, stuttering: "What powers… Muggle cars?"
Without hesitation, Iselin answered, "Horses, because their power unit is horsepower."
Audrey asked: "How did Hitler lose?"
Iselin replied matter-of-factly, "He didn't check the stars. On the night he ordered the invasion of the Soviet Union, the sky was cloudy—no stars were visible."
"And the most popular sport?"
"Having children! Otherwise, how would the Muggle population outnumber wizards so much?"
Audrey's eyes went dark. Iselin Windsor, a member of the Muggle royalty—did you even hear yourself?
Iselin suddenly covered her mouth: "Audrey, you haven't been ignoring the Muggle Studies textbook, right?"
"You're confused! That textbook is nonsense, full of bias against Muggles, but that's the course. You have to memorize it, no matter how absurd—it's like reading a joke book."
Audrey had already stopped listening. With a flick, she appeared directly in the Headmaster's office.
"Oh, done with exams, Big Banker?"
Dumbledore was writing a letter, not even looking up, yet candy flew in front of Audrey.
"Wait a moment. I must finish this—very important, can't delay."
Audrey sat, uninterested in the sweets.
Failing Muggle Studies meant, according to the Ministry agreement, she might have to repeat the year.
It wasn't a big deal—Newt Scamander had dropped out too—but being the first Hogwarts student to repeat a year would certainly be recorded in the History of the School.
She couldn't go on a killing spree and rename the History of the School… right?
Dumbledore quickly finished the letter, sending it off with Fawkes.
"Done, Audrey. Time to snap out of it!"
Dumbledore chuckled at her vacant gaze. She had stopped thinking…
He snapped his fingers, and a strand of her hair tickled her nose.
"Achoo!"
Seeing her finally come to her senses, Dumbledore asked: "What's the matter, child?"
Audrey's answer was firm and resolute: "I want to leave Hogwarts!"
Dumbledore probably guessed why she was upset. He smiled: "Because of Muggle Studies? Afraid of repeating a year?"
Audrey's anger flared. "You call that a course? It's a collection of jokes, yet they make it an official exam! How is that allowed?"
"Who puts riddles in exams? Cars powered by horses because their unit is horsepower? Who told them that—Merlin?"
"The car engine runs on gasoline! Gasoline! A Firebolt could ignite it and fry their foolish brains to a crisp!"
…
Dumbledore calmly waited as Audrey ranted.
Once she stopped, he said: "The misunderstanding between the wizarding and Muggle worlds has existed for over a thousand years. Since isolation, the gap has widened. We are trying to bridge it, and you're making efforts too. Slowly, Muggle Studies will become history."
Wait… when did I ever try to integrate wizards into Muggles?
Audrey was confused, then realized Dumbledore must mean the Ukraine situation. But that wasn't the issue today.
"Muggle Studies disappearing has nothing to do with me. The problem now is—I might have to repeat a year!"
She pouted. "I can't bear the shame, so I must leave Hogwarts!"
"Audrey," Dumbledore said seriously, "remember our agreement: I would lift your wanted status and restore your reputation if you attended Hogwarts."
Audrey paused. Indeed, that was their agreement.
"Hydras Lestrange's reputation has been restored. I've kept my promise—what about you?"
Audrey's lips twitched but she couldn't say she would break her word.
"Then can I avoid repeating the year?"
At that moment, all her cuteness and charm poured out—big watery eyes, pitiful little expressions anyone would fall for.
But Dumbledore's motto was, "Women only affect how fast I can raise my wand" (misquote). He ignored her charm, saying firmly: "The Ministry requires it; I have no say."
If Audrey had her natural mind-reading abilities now, she would've realized the Ministry hadn't actually mandated repeating a year.
Dumbledore lied because both he and Professor Trelawney had interpreted a prophecy—one that explicitly stated she would repeat her fifth year.
"The girl who unravels a millennium of wizarding mysteries has appeared.
She will inherit the Guardians' knowledge, bring salvation;
From a serpentine lineage, yet betrayed by servants;
Ignored by the Book of Admission until marriageable age;
Endures fifth year twice, power merging within;
Resolves disputes, eliminates gaps, unites hearts;
Walks between darkness and light, using it to solve crises;
When ancient shadows return, she leads her loyal followers, composing humanity's anthem."
The first half of Trelawney's prophecy matched Grindelwald's: Audrey's fifth year would require repeating.
Rejected by Dumbledore, Audrey was frustrated—but not helpless.
If the problem was the Ministry, why not shake up the Ministry?
No one raising complaints meant no problem!
Her plan was sound: lure the heavily damaged pureblood families to pressure Fudge to resign.
She'd long wanted revenge for his recent targeting of her.
Old Bart had helped her before; she could support him to come to power, then request he cancel the rule that failing OWLs meant no promotion to sixth year. That small request? Surely he wouldn't refuse!
Thinking through her plan, Audrey began to stir.
Dumbledore noticed: "Audrey, what are you thinking?"
"Ah? Nothing!" Audrey replied with a sweet smile. "Professor Dumbledore, if the Ministry retracts the decree, I won't have to repeat the year, right?"