Chapter 13: The "Purity" Crisis and the Grand Sickness
The mountain pass was a symphony of clashing steel and screaming men, but Li Wei'an was currently experiencing a much more personal terror.
As arrows hissed overhead like angry hornets, Wei'an crouched behind a heavy grain wagon with Commander Sang. The old general was covered in the blood of traitors, his breathing heavy, his eyes distant.
"Master Li," Sang grunted, leaning his back against a wooden wheel. "If we don't make it out of this... if the Count's dogs finally tear my throat out... I have a confession. There is someone... in my heart."
Wei'an, who was currently sweating enough to fill a bucket, wiped his eyes. "You? You have a heart? I thought it was just a cold lump of military strategy! Who is she? A lost childhood love? A warrior princess?"
"The courtesan, Lian'er," Sang whispered, his rugged face actually softening for a fraction of a second. "The jewel of the Jade Pavilion. I've spent every copper of my pension just to hear her play the zither from the hallway. I was going to buy her freedom once I cleared my name."
Wei'an's soul practically left his body. He felt a cold shiver that had nothing to do with the mountain air.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I didn't just walk into a war; I walked into a love triangle with a madman.
"Mr. Commander..." Wei'an stammered, his voice cracking. "What... what have you done?" Sang asked, noticing the merchant's sudden ghostly pallor.
"I... I might have..." Wei'an squeezed his eyes shut. "I kissed her hand. Professionally! As a business greeting! I swear on my inventory!"
The change in Commander Sang was instantaneous. The "Old General" disappeared, replaced by a Full Demon. His eyes turned blood-red, and a vein in his forehead began to throb like a ticking bomb.
"You. Did. WHAT?!"
"It was a merchant's etiquette!" Wei'an shrieked, lunging away just as Sang's spear-butt slammed into the wagon where his head had been. "Calm down! I'll give you extra payment! A bonus! Hazardous duty pay!"
"I don't care for your silver, you hand-kissing scoundrel!" Sang roared, lunging again. He accidentally skewered a traitorous soldier who had tried to sneak up on them. "I'm going to turn you into a rug!"
"I'll make you the Commander of the Shen Military!" Wei'an yelled, scrambling under the wagon. "Full benefits! Legal pardons! You can walk into the Jade Pavilion through the front door with a title!"
Sang paused mid-swing, his spear hovering inches from Wei'an's nose. The murderous rage in his eyes flickered, replaced by a sudden, intense glint of greed.
"The... Commander of the Shen Military?" Sang asked, his voice suddenly calm. "With a legal title? And a pension that actually exists?"
"Yes! Guard Commander! General of the Silver Mine! Whatever you want!"
"Then we have a deal," Sang said. He turned around and immediately decapitated another defector. "Stay behind the wagon, little merchant. I have a career to secure."
Wei'an slumped against the wheel, his heart hammering. "That's it? A promotion and some legal papers, and you're over the hand-kissing? Military men are terrifyingly practical."
POV: The Shen Estate (The Great Sickness)
Back at the mansion, the "Test of Scholar-Wit" had taken a dark turn. The Count's representative was signaling for his hidden assassins to move, his hand moving toward his belt.
But Shen Yao was faster. She didn't draw a sword; she drew a handkerchief.
"Oh, the tragedy!" she suddenly wailed, her voice echoing through the hall. She slumped against a pillar, her eyes brimming with perfectly timed, fake tears. "My poor, suffering father! The grief of losing his son... it has finally broken him!"
In the back of the hall, the Patriarch, Lord Shen, was currently standing behind a curtain, ready to charge out with his sword. He heard his daughter's cue and immediately let out a series of violent, hacking coughs.
Is someone talking about me? the Patriarch wondered mid-cough. Or did I inhale too much dust from this curtain?
"My father is deathly ill!" Shen Yao cried to the Count's representative. "The challenge must be suspended! By Imperial Law, no legal challenge can proceed while the Head of House is in a state of terminal collapse! To continue would be to insult the Crown's mercy!"
The Count's representative froze. He looked at the coughing Patriarch (who was now leaning heavily on a servant, looking impressively "near death") and then at the weeping Yao.
Shen Mu, the cousin, immediately stepped forward, his fan snapping shut. "You heard the Lady. Unless you wish to be reported to the Capital for harassing a dying war hero, you will leave. Now."
The representative snarled, but the "Legal Defense" was ironclad. He gestured for his men to retreat. The first front had been won—not by wit, but by a world-class acting performance.
The Mountain Pass
As the sun began to set, the traitors were broken. Commander Sang stood atop a pile of crates, his loyal veterans cheering his name.
Wei'an crawled out from under the wagon, dusting off his robes. He looked at the carnage, then at the sturdy, terrifying army he had just "hired."
"Steward Qiu," Wei'an said, his merchant-brain already tallying the costs. "Send a messenger to my wife. Tell her the Rogue Commander is now the Shen Commander. And tell her to prepare the guest rooms... and maybe hide the 'Safety Sake' before Sang finds it."
He looked at Sang, who was currently polishing his spear and muttering about "legal titles."
"Well," Wei'an sighed. "I might be broke, nearly assassinated, and marked for death by my own General... but at least I didn't get roasted at breakfast today."