"Once you reach the River, you'll truly die."
Her words seemed to echo in my mind, bouncing off all the other millions of pieces of information she just flooded me with.
"So I still have a chance"
The thought seemed to whisper to me. It's always been there, only a few words that hold enough power to always stop me in my tracks.
I attempted to push it out of my mind.
"No, this is what I wanted. I did it. Remember? No going back. Right. I wanted to die, I chose it for myself. It's what I really want… Right?"
I thought in silence for a few moments, allowing myself to take in her words in full.
Questions filled my head like water.
"So if we go to this River, I'll what, go to heaven or hell? Is this like some feather of judgement thing-y? That's a little scary. I haven't been a bad person though, as far as I know. Does it even matter? Agh, my head hurts. I didn't know dying would be so complicated!"
I decided to question the woman further, my voice slightly wavering in fear of what she might say.
"So… what happens when I 'truly die'? Where do I go? And how, exactly?"
She smiled politely, with a hint of anxiety that it seemed she was trying to mask.
"Well, when you get to the River, you're first going cup your hands and take a sip from the river. This will decide where the it will take you. It will judge how you lived in your life, whether you did more good or bad and just how much of each. Not only that, but it will judge the consequences of these deeds. For example, if you tried to kill an innocent person, it would judge how your deed affected everything around the person, not just the one who was murdered. If you failed to kill them, it would still judge all the consequences from an attempted murder. This system of judgement seems like it would create up to a large pool of bad things you've done in your life, but don't worry. Good deeds are judged the same way. Think of good and bad deeds like positive and negative charges. When they are equal, they can cancel each other out to become neutral, right? It's similar to that, but it's just that the extent of these deeds is decided by the River, and it decides which specific deed (or deeds) may cancel another other out. In the case of murder, there's not many good deeds that can cancel it out, but there's a few things that can reduce the negative energy it caused. If someone murders an innocent, causing lots of pain to the victims loved ones, they have committed one of the worst acts that one can do. But if they spend the rest of their lives atoning for this act, they may cancel out a good bit of the pain caused and therefore lessen the extent of the bad deed. In some very rare cases, people have done such extensive atoning acts that it matched the weight of the murder. These special few were able to balance out most of their good and bad deeds in their first judgement. And yes, a person may be judged by the River more than once. I'll explain that later."
She paused for a moment then put up three fingers. Pointing to the middle of the three she said,
"Remember what I said about positive and negative charges? I meant that more literally than you think. All deeds hold energy. They determine whether you're sent to the Positive, Neutral, Or Negative Plane. Most people do their share of good and bad things, and typically their deeds all carry similar weight. Usually these cancel each other out for the most part, and their leftover energy is close to neutral. It either leans slightly towards positive or slightly towards negative. These people are sent to the Neutral Plane. As you could guess from the name, the energy is mostly equatorial there. Meaning people don't really feel too passionate about anything, whether it be love or hate. They do still feel these emotions, but they never feel them so deeply that it causes conflict. It's like a shared bond, everyone can understand each other and their feelings don't cause conflict. It's kind of like if your world could get rid of any strife. A boring lot, if you ask me. But very balanced and peaceful."
She shrugged and gestured to her pointer finger.
"The Positive Plane is for those whose net energy was made up exceedingly of positive deeds. The energy there is full of love and joy. No conflict is there either, but instead of mutual understanding it's more because everyone there only feels happiness. It's all they can feel. It's a paradise, in essence. There's no negative feelings there whatsoever, since the energy of the plane simply won't allow it. That's the difference between the planes. The Neutral plane isn't completely neutral, or else no one would feel anything. It just encompasses a pretty wide margin of net positive or negative energy, which is why such a large portion of the dead are sent there instead of the other planes. The Positive Plane is really just reserved for the best of the best, if that helps."
Her voice got a little quiet and her eyes met the ground. She lowered her hand and then took on a solemn tone.
"The Negative Plane… now that's designed for the worst of the worst. If somebody's net energy was so extremely negative, they'll be sent here. It's for murderers, rapists, torturers, and any other vile thing you can think of. There's no happiness or joy here. Only pain and guilt. This place… it holds unspeakable horrors. It's meant to be a place of punishment and justice. As hopeless as it may seem, there is one upside. It's that you may eventually leave. This plane is special; it actually attempts to create positive energy. Two negatives will make a positive, right? The plane actively uses its own negative energy to combat its inhabitants' negative energy. For example, if someone murders an innocent, they will be met with the same fate. They will be killed after being forced to feel all the pain the victim felt, as well as all of the pain that they caused the victim's loved ones. If this person killed multiple people, they'll regenerate inside the plane and this punishment will be replicated until the murderder gains enough positive energy to get in the neutral range. Once they reach that range, the Plane will reject them and they'll be sent back here to be judged by the River again. Essentially, the energy of this plane will act to punish the individual with something that holds directly the same weight of what they did, so that positive energy is created. This differs from the Positive Plane because that plane doesn't directly attempt to clash with its inhabitants' energies in attempt to make negative energy. It's strange, but the Negative Plane isn't a final destination. Well, for most people at least. Sometimes one's acts could be so evil that the plane's punishment can't keep up. They're eventually consumed by negative energy and end up becoming apart of the Negative Plane. The ones that suffer this fate are called Inflictors, and they often help carry out the will of the Negative Plane onto its inhabitants. Their existence is constant torment and agony; these are the creatures that belong indefinitely to the Negative Plane. It's unknown whether this plane is infinite or not. Some say that when it runs out of people to punish, the Negative and all the Inflictors will be destroyed and only the Neutral and Positive Planes will remain. Only time will tell."
She closed her eyes, and I thought I saw her hands shaking for a second out of the corner of my eye. My eyes darted to them, but they looked steady as ever. A silence fell between us, I felt like she needed a moment after all that explaining. She seemed…shaken up, even though she showed no physical signs. I could just faintly sense it.
"She looks like she's seen a lot. I wonder if an angel like her belongs to the Positive Plane, that would make sense, right? I mean, I'm only assuming she's an angel. What even is she? Maybe angels have their own place, apart from all those other planes. I mean, has she seen the planes herself? How does she know all this anyway? Agh, my head hurts…"
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