Ben
It pained me to see Bryce like this. My fiery roommate looked like he had given up without a fight. I tried to figure out how to help him out of this situation especially since people have approached me regarding my living with him.
"Hey Ben," Lee said to me during class, "I think you should move off campus. That way you won't get caught up with those kinds of people."
"What kind of people are you referring to?" I asked Lee.
"You know whom I'm referring to," he answered back, "Move out. Otherwise, you'll get caught up in his mess. Obviously, your roommate is a troublemaker and I worry for you."
"Why should I move out?" I asked Lee, "We're not fighting or anything."
"I'm curious," he said to me, "How can you stand to live with someone like him? He said he hates gay people, so how can you two live together?"
I started packing my bookbag and checked my messages to see if there was any update on Bryce. As I was doing this I answered Lee's question, "I only deal with him when I have to."
"Does he know that youre…?"
"You know," I said to him, "Rather than trying to learn the intimate details of my roommate and I, you should focus your time reviewing for your History midterm?"
Lee immediately went from nosy to sheepish within two seconds. "Yeah, please don't remind me. Well good luck with your roommate, I give you a thumbs up." He did more than give me a thumbs up, he gave me another finger as he flipped me off, thinking I didn't notice.
"I saw that, you bitch." I told him jokingly as we always did.
The day flew by and I decided to bring dinner for Bryce. It had been a week already since the incident and Bryce hasn't left the room. I really started to worry about him now.
I entered the room and he was in his bed, watching his phone like he was waiting for an important text. "You didn't go to class again either?" I asked him.
"Leave me alone." was all he responded with.
"I talked to Techno," I answered, "He told me you were suspended from the team. Seriously Bryce, if this keeps up, you're going to be kicked out of college."
"Stop sticking your nose into my business." He calmly warned me.
"You should really relearn the English language," I told him, "Being nosy, and being concerned are two different things."
"You," he snapped back, "Concerned about me? Ha! That's so funny, I forgot to laugh."
"Then laugh," I told him. He looked back at me for a second and he looked surprised. "Forget it then. Let's eat."
"I'm not hungry." he said.
"Come on Bryce, eat something."
Bryce immediately stood up and yelled, "Dude, leave me the fuck alone! I didn't ask you to get me food or to be nice to me. Fucking faggot!"
I dropped everything and grabbed Bryce by his arms, looking him straight in the eyes.
"What the fuck, Ben," he said as he struggled to break free, "Let me go, asshole. I said let go of me!"
He tried to break free from me but I refused to let go. I pulled him in and held him tight. As I hugged him, I pleaded, "Please, eat something. I'm begging you."
Bryce
Hearing Ben beg me like that broke me. I wanted to be left alone and he wouldn't let up. I was ready to fight him until I heard him begging me to eat.
"I don't care if you think I'm gay or whatever you hate," he said, clearly to the point of crying, "I'm begging you, please. Eat something."
"You're begging an asshole like me?" I asked him.
He let me go and looked me in the eye, tears staining his face. It's the first time I have seen him cry. Ever. "I know you didn't do anything wrong."
"But the whole school believes I'm in the wrong." I told him.
"It doesn't matter what they think," Ben replied, "To me, You're innocent in all this."
"You believe in me," I asked, "Even after knowing that I hate gay people? Even after knowing that I hate you?"
Ben just nodded, "Even if you hate me, I still believe in you. Bryce, you can tell me anything. I'll always listen and I'll always be on your side."
Ben made it really hard for me to hate him and suddenly I heard that little voice in my head telling me to tell him what I have never told anyone, not even Techno.
"When I was six years old," I started, the memories of that time coming back as clear as it were yesterday, "I was molested by a man."
The look on Ben's face wasn't one of horror or disgust, but one of sorrow and heartbreak. Looking at him, I felt compelled to continue.
"He was the youth pastor at our church," I continued, "We saw him all the time. One day, he asked me if I wanted to play football with him. He told me he had an autographed ball from an NFL player. I trusted him so I followed. He led me to this shed, and he grabbed me and pulled me in." The vivid details of that shed made me feel like I was there once again. "I was so small, I couldn't fight back. He tied me up. No matter how much I begged and cried, he wouldn't let me go. I can remember every detail like it happened yesterday." Every detail was burned into my memory like a cattle brand. "The place was filthy, it stunk and was so hot that it was hard to breathe." The more I continued, the more I couldn't hold back the tears. I looked at Ben and reminded him, "You gave me head, remember? Well, I had to do that to a grown man when I was six years old. It was horrible. It was disgusting. I felt filthy, I couldn't breathe, I couldn't cry for help. He undressed me, he bent me over and…"
Before I could finish that sentence, Ben pulled me into his arms and said, "That's enough, Bryce. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I'm sorry."
Hearing him apologize finished whatever resistance I had left and finally lost it, "Why are you apologizing to me?" I asked, clearly crying. He just held me as we both were in tears. I didn't know what to say so I just said, "I hate you. I hate people like you."
Instead of fighting back, Ben continued to hold me and just said, "It's ok if you hate me."
I have never told a single soul about this. Because of the incident, my parents left me with my aunt after everyone found out. We all figured moving me to another state would be best for me to have a fresh start. It was here when I met Noah, Jack, and Terry. We became the best of friends but I never told them about this. It was because of this event that convinced me that all gay people were evil. It was because of this one man who I trusted and looked up to as a kid, the same man who ended up hurting me and doing things to me that made me hate all gay people.
But Ben is the first, and only gay guy that I have let get close to me. He was nothing like how I believed gay people would be. He was on my side and never left me or abandoned me.
The next morning, I awoke to find him gone. He had convinced me the previous night to go to class, which I did. Everyone still went on treating me like I was some serial killer or sex offender. During my second class, the coach had called me explaining the dean wanted to meet with me.
When I arrived, I was waiting along with those two. Mel and Ricky. The dean had called us regarding the post. He had heard that my picture was taken without my consent and that I was entitled to press charges and seek legal action against them. That little fact made those two shake in their skirts. The dean told us to resolve this amongst ourselves within a week or we were all expelled.
As we left his office, they approached me and demanded I apologize to them.
"Why the hell should I apologize to you?" I asked them.
"You little bastard," Mel said, "You owe us an apology."
"And what about you?" I shot back, "You owe me an apology for taking my picture and posting it without my consent. As the dean said, I can call the police for that and have you arrested and I might even hire a lawyer to sue you."
Ricky cowered behind Mel when I mentioned a lawsuit. "Please Mel," Ricky said, "Let's just end this."
"Like hell we will," said Mel, "Not until this asshole apologizes to us."
I was about to say something until I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turn around and see Ben right behind me. "Ben, what are you doing here?"
He smiled warmly to me and looked past me, "Excuse me," he said to those two, "May I have a word with you two?" He turned his attention to me and said, "Bryce, go back to the dorm. I'll be there shortly."
He went to talk to those two and I couldn't help but feel betrayed. I opened up my heart and soul to him, shared my pain with him and now, here he was mocking my tragedy to fuel those two's crusade to destroy me. "So," I said to myself, "Even you are on their side." I went back to the dorm and didn't bother to talk to Ben or even look at him.
I continued to go to class as normal and just ignored everyone. I sat alone in class, I walked alone, I even ate alone. That is until I received a surprise from an unexpected person.
"Hey Bryce," Techno said, "Is it true that Ben's in love with you?"
The question was so random and so unthinkable that I had no choice but to spit out the drink in my mouth, nearly choking on it. "What the hell, No."
"You haven't heard?" he asked.
"Heard what?"
Techno showed me a post from those two. A post formally apologizing to me about the whole ordeal. Stating it was a misunderstanding and they didn't mean to post the picture and so on. I know one thing, Ben must've said something to make those two change their tune. But what I feared most, was he told them about my past, using my trauma to sympathize with me. How could he do this to me?