The Semi-Finals didn't start with a bell. They started with a scream.
Subject Zero wasn't a man. It was a nightmare stitched together from the corpses of spirit beasts. It had six arms, a mouth in its chest, and skin that rippled like oil.
"It eats Qi," Gu Ling warned, her sensors flashing red. "And it emits an electro-magnetic pulse. My chair is lagging."
"My pod is drifting!" The Princess gasped, gripping her armrests as her Golden Lotus wobbled dangerously. "I can't lock on!"
Subject Zero shrieked—a sound like metal tearing—and lunged. It moved with unnatural, jerky speed, bypassing Yun Xi's guard and aiming straight for the "broken" women.
"It thinks you're weak," Jiang Fan sighed. He was standing in the center, looking annoyed.
He reached out his hands. He grabbed the back of Gu Ling's chair with his left hand and the rim of the Princess's pod with his right.
"System," Jiang Fan whispered. "Active Skill: Party Overdrive."
[ Warning: Dumping 500,000 Idle XP into Allies. ] [ Synchronization: 100%. ]
Golden energy flooded from Jiang Fan into the machines.
"Whoa!" The Princess gasped. Her eyes turned pure gold. Her pod stopped wobbling and began to hum with the sound of a jet engine.
"Power levels exceeding 400%," Gu Ling grinned maniacally. Her mechanical spider legs grew twice their size, glowing with blue plasma.
"Girls," Jiang Fan pointed at the monster. "Delete it."
The Princess screamed, unleashing a beam of pure golden light from her cannon. Gu Ling fired a barrage of plasma-ice.
Subject Zero tried to eat the energy. It ate too much.
BOOM.
The Chimera swelled up like a balloon and exploded into a shower of purple slime.
"Ew," Yun Xi muttered, wiping slime off her apron. "I just washed this."
THE FINALS
The crowd barely had time to recover before the Finals began.
The opponent: The Sword Saint of the East.
He was an old man with a wooden sword. He looked frail. But the air around him was cut into ribbons.
"I have trained for eighty years," the Sword Saint said softly. "I can cut the wings off a fly before it knows it is dead. You cannot defeat me, boy."
Jiang Fan walked into the ring alone this time. He told the girls to wait.
"Eighty years?" Jiang Fan asked, pulling out the Heavenly Dao Token. "That sounds exhausting. I've trained for about three months. Mostly while napping."
The Sword Saint narrowed his eyes. "Draw your weapon."
"I'm holding it." Jiang Fan flipped the coin.
The Sword Saint vanished. He moved faster than sound. His wooden sword aimed for Jiang Fan's throat.
[ System: Enemy Speed exceeds reaction time. ] [ Solution: Cheat. ]
Jiang Fan didn't dodge. He just activated the token.
"Domain Expansion: The Lazy King's Bedroom."
A ripple of heavy, purple gravity expanded instantly.
The Sword Saint froze mid-air. It wasn't just gravity; it was lethargy. The air became thick as molasses. The desire to fight evaporated, replaced by an overwhelming urge to lie down.
The Sword Saint's eyes drooped. "Why... is the floor... so comfortable?"
He slumped to the ground, curling up into a ball.
Jiang Fan walked over, stepped gently over the sleeping old man, and picked up the prize sitting on the pedestal.
[ Item Acquired: The Heart of the Celestial Dragon ] [ Description: One Wish. Infinite Power. ]
Jiang Fan looked at the glowing red gem. He looked at the Royal Box where the Emperor sat, stone-faced.
Jiang Fan didn't make a speech. He didn't bow.
He tossed the gem to the Princess. She caught it, stunned.
"Keep it safe," Jiang Fan yawned. "I'm tired. Let's go home."
THE AFTERMATH: VICTORY SUITE
The celebration back at the Pavilion of Rising Dragons was quiet. The adrenaline had faded, leaving only exhaustion and aching bodies.
The Princess lay on the massive velvet chaise lounge. She had removed her braces and armor. She wore only a thin silk robe that slid up her long, pale legs.
"Jiang Fan," she whined softly.
Jiang Fan was sitting on the floor, counting his winnings. "Yes, Your Highness?"
"My legs," she sighed, draping one arm over her eyes. "The adrenaline from the Overdrive... my nerves are firing phantom signals. They're cramping."
She looked at him through her lashes.
"Can you stretch them? The doctors say manual manipulation is required to prevent atrophy."
It was a lie. Her legs had no feeling; they couldn't cramp. But she wanted him to touch them.
Jiang Fan knew it was a lie. But he stood up anyway.
He sat on the edge of the chaise. He picked up her right leg. It was heavy, limp, and cool to the touch. The skin was impossibly soft.
He pressed his thumb into her calf, massaging the muscle. He lifted her leg, flexing the knee gently to keep the joint mobile.
"Is that better?" he asked.
"Higher," she murmured, watching him work. "The thigh is tight too."
She watched his hands move up her leg. There was something possessive about it. He was handling her broken body with a casual ownership that thrilled her.
"You really are high maintenance," Jiang Fan muttered, but his touch was gentle.
"Excuse me."
Gu Ling rolled her wheelchair over. She was wearing a tank top and loose shorts. Her silver hair was messy.
"I require maintenance as well," Gu Ling stated flatly.
"You're a cyborg," Jiang Fan pointed out, still holding the Princess's leg. "Do you need an oil change?"
"My spinal interface is overheated," Gu Ling unlocked the brakes of her chair. "I cannot transfer to the bed safely. My arms are fatigued from the recoil."
She looked at the bed. Then she looked at Jiang Fan.
"Carry me."
Jiang Fan looked at the Princess (who was enjoying her massage) and Gu Ling (who was waiting with expectantly outstretched arms).
"I am the Champion of the Five Empires," Jiang Fan groaned. "And I am basically a nurse."
He gently set the Princess's leg down. He walked over to Gu Ling.
He slid one arm under her knees and the other around her waist. He lifted her easily out of the chair. Her legs dangled uselessly against his thigh. She wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in his neck, inhaling deeply.
"You smell like victory," Gu Ling whispered against his skin.
"I smell like sweat and spicy squid," Jiang Fan corrected.
He carried her to the bed and laid her down.
"Don't leave," Gu Ling grabbed his wrist.
"I have to get Yun Xi," Jiang Fan tried to pull away.
"No."
From the chaise, the Princess spoke up. "Jiang Fan, come back. You didn't finish the left leg. It feels... lonely."
Jiang Fan stood in the middle of the room.
To his left, a cyborg genius demanding cuddles. To his right, a paralyzed Princess demanding a massage. In the corner, Yun Xi was aggressively polishing her mace, glaring at him.
"Master," Yun Xi said coldly. "If you do not attend to them, they will whine all night. And then I won't get any sleep."
Jiang Fan sighed. He took off his outer robe.
He went back to the chaise. He picked up the Princess.
"Hey!" she squeaked.
He carried her over to the bed and dumped her next to Gu Ling.
"Group nap," Jiang Fan declared.
He climbed into the middle of the massive bed.
"Princess, give me your legs." He placed her legs over his lap so he could stretch them while lying down. "Gu Ling, stop poking my ribs."
The two women snuggled into him immediately. The Princess draped her long, silky legs over his thighs, sighing in contentment as he absently rubbed her ankles. Gu Ling rested her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
Snack, the kitten, jumped onto the pile and fell asleep instantly.
"System," Jiang Fan whispered into the darkness of the room. "Activate 'Do Not Disturb' mode."
[ Mode Active. Enjoy your harem, Lazy King. ]
The Princess smiled in the dark, her hand resting on the Heart of the Celestial Dragon which lay on the nightstand.
"Jiang Fan?" she whispered.
"Hmm?"
"Tomorrow... are you really going to use the Wish on me?"
Jiang Fan didn't open his eyes. He just squeezed her paralyzed foot gently.
"Go to sleep, Ling. Tomorrow, we go shopping for miracles."