"Crack! Bang! Bang!"
Chains sliced through the air, and thick metal links instantly wrapped around Kakashi, while two masked, silver-armored ninjas with disheveled hair yanked him with all their strength.
Kakashi was immediately reduced to a bloody, mangled mess.
This moment mirrored a previous one, yet it was slightly different.
Before the two could even say "Kill one," Sakura quickly grabbed a kunai wrapped with an explosive tag from her ninja tool pouch and hurled it behind them. The instant the talisman ignited, it knocked Tazuna to the ground.
"Boom!!!"
Boulders shattered into fragments, scattering in all directions; simultaneously, the Hidden Mist Technique they were about to complete was instantly dispersed by the explosion's wind, sending dust flying everywhere.
My vision cleared immediately.
Sasuke froze for a moment, then drew a kunai, kicked off the ground with his toes, and charged at the three enemies behind Sakura. Instinctively, he used the Uchiha Shuriken Throwing Technique!
There were still three enemies, plus the two from before—at least five in total!
"Clang! Clang! Clang!"
Kunai and shuriken bounced off each other, forming a temporary net that blocked attacks from multiple directions.
One of the enemies couldn't react in time and was struck in the arm and abdomen by two kunai. The force drove the metal deep into his flesh, instantly rendering him combat-ineffective.
"Watch out!" Sakura shouted, using a kunai to deflect the chains behind Sasuke, stepping back from the momentum.
She could clearly feel her body trembling, and the shaking did not ease as the fight progressed.
Sakura even momentarily forgot the hand seals for the Water Release Escape Technique.
Imagine—a woman from Earth facing a killer ninja—how likely is it she could remain calm?
"Whoosh!" A shuriken whizzed past her, grazing her cheek. Sakura swung her kunai, blocking the other incoming shurikens.
Seeing this, Sasuke kicked down an enemy, immediately protecting Sakura. "Protect Tazuna first. I'll protect you!"
Sakura stared at him, surprised.
She was inexplicably reminded of a night on Earth.
At that time, she was still an undergraduate. To pass the time, she livestreamed herself speedrunning Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice flawlessly in her dorm room.
The stream was almost completely ignored; after hours of playing, she had only a handful of viewers.
Back then, she had just defeated Seven Lord unharmed, but accidentally got stuck after taking a wrong path.
She sighed, "What a shame, this wave was the fastest so far."
Her female voice over the microphone caught one viewer's attention, who exclaimed in surprise on a public screen:
"Female?"
She had felt instantly annoyed.
What's wrong with being a woman? Why can't a woman speedrun Sekiro?
Later, when she livestreamed the French Championship multiplayer matches, she received similar comments again, along with harassing messages in her inbox.
"$5000 for one night, okay?" "Selling authentic stockings?" "Can you step on my stuff?" "Bitch." …
She muted her microphone, created a new account, and began streaming a Level 1 no-damage challenge against all bosses.
It took her about half a year.
She succeeded.
Memories surged into Sakura's mind like a tidal wave. Sasuke's casual words had transported her back to that uneasy summer night.
I'm not saying you're arrogant, Sasuke, I'm just saying your little sister Sakura wasn't very happy.
Sakura's gaze sharpened. She put her kunai back into her pouch and motioned for Sasuke to cover her.
Before he could react, Sakura dashed forward like a bolt of lightning toward the three enemies!
"Whoosh! Whoosh!" She kicked a kunai flying, while another was blocked by Sasuke. Then, channeling chakra into her fist, she lowered her stance and delivered a punch.
The punch was like a mountain and sea combined—powerful and unstoppable!
"Pfft!"
"Ah!!" The enemy in front of her let out a sharp scream.
For the record, Sakura had targeted his groin.
On Earth, encountering Doraemon might be seen as frivolous, but in the world of Naruto, it's considered unlucky. Sakura knew that, with her current strength, if she wanted to defeat the enemies quickly, she had to maximize her brute force advantage to stall until Naruto returned.
It was like cutting through an enemy's health bar in Sekiro and striking the weak point—she completed the entire process in a single step.
"Pfft! Pfft!"
As Sasuke protected Sakura with shuriken, he involuntarily felt a chill in his lower body.
Mom!
Sakura and Sasuke coordinated perfectly, gradually defeating the enemies.
The remaining enemies stared at Sakura in terror, their combat rhythm completely disrupted.
Meanwhile, Sasuke began slaughtering enemies in all directions. In the original story, he had handled two easily; after some military training, his strength had grown even more.
Elsewhere.
Naruto opened his eyes, exhaling a gust of stale air.
This groove design was very durable but required timely action.
In any case, Kakashi was surely hiding, observing the situation.
After some spiritual-space manipulation, Naruto successfully created a massive crimson chakra sphere.
He plucked a small piece of chakra, like tearing off a piece of cotton candy, and immediately placed it in his chest.
For a moment, his heart filled with rage—but fortunately, he was still able to control it.
Naruto charged forward and soon saw Sakura and Sasuke repelling the enemies.
"I'm here!" Naruto leapt forward, knocking down the nearest enemy with a punch that dented the man's chest.
He continued running, but quickly realized the enemies were already in chaos.
He glanced at Sakura, who seemed even more ferocious than he felt, then at the sweat-drenched Sasuke, and fell into thought.
Wait…
Why do I feel useless?
Why isn't this going according to my plan?
Who's the real protagonist here?!
Naruto suddenly felt a surge of frustration.
He had assumed the enemies were extremely strong, that even the three of them couldn't compete, which was why he had prepared to unleash the Nine-Tails.
Now, he realized the enemies weren't that strong.
No, this is infuriating! How can I let them steal the credit!
"Out of the way!" Naruto shouted at Sakurazaka, throwing himself into the fray.
First, he mimicked Sakura, hitting each enemy one by one, shocking all nearby foes.
Then he realized something was off. Wait—I'm imitating some damned Sakura?
So he summoned multiple Shadow Clones and began a group assault.
The moves were mostly simple, direct physical attacks—essentially an enhanced version of Nine-Tails chakra techniques.
"Leave a few alive for interrogation!" Sakura shouted from behind.
"Got it!" Naruto grabbed one man, beating him while questioning, "Will you tell me? Will you tell me? Will you tell me? Will you tell me?"
The man was crying—why didn't Naruto ask him politely first?!
Naruto knocked him out, grabbed another, and continued interrogating.
The questions ranged from: "What's the Third Hokage's bank password?" "How many kunai did you use?" "What nail polish do Akatsuki members wear?" "Is your aunt married?" and more.
Finally, Sasuke and Sakura restrained the increasingly angry Naruto.
After stopping, Naruto claimed that all of this was the result of the evil influence of the Nine-Tails on his mind.
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All the fanfiction is 30-chapter ahead but this "A Witty Life in the Naruto World" is 30 chapters ahead there