"Jason Segel kills in this role," said Kenny with a chuckle, truly the biggest fan since Segel's How I Met Your Mother days.
"Of course, we all know the greatest actor on Shrinking is—" Marlene began.
Kenny jumped out of his seat next to her and said with a goofy smile, "The icon, the legend—"
Marlene lit up when we all collectively chimed in, "Harrison Ford."
It was one of those moments where nothing funny really happened, but you laughed anyway.
Nice, Marlene. Getting up to speed on a show to meet the friends equals mega girlfriend points.
The doorbell rang and Kenny rose to his feet again, clearly a nervous ball of energy.
"Food. I'll get it," he said, speeding out of the living room.
"I better go and help," said Marlene, following him out.
It's been a month since the wake. I haven't really thought about Jenny or my mom much, on account of all the sneaking around Scott and I have been doing. I had this theory that surely by now Kenny must know and it wasn't necessary anymore. Then again, poking the bear meant defining our relationship. The term friends with benefits occurred to me and immediately grossed me out.
"You good?" Scott asked, lightly draping a blanket over my shoulders before wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close. "You looked cold."
You see, this shit was why it was difficult to not immediately dub Scott a boyfriend. A month ago, if he had done something like this, I wouldn't have batted an eye. Now any kindness he showed me, combined with so much sex it may well be lethal, clouded my judgement. My insides got all gooey and soft every time he did something for me.
Even when I leaned in to kiss him in what was clearly an intimate moment that would not lead to sex, like I was right now, he didn't shy away from it. That's not how sex with benefits works, is it?
"What was that for?" he asked, his lips lingering on mine.
"Just because," I said, and boys and girls, it was a lie.
There was no just because when you kissed a boy that gave you butterflies and you were secretly fucking.
"In that case," he said, cupping my neck and brushing his lips up against mine. "Just because works for me."
Within seconds, we were kissing feverishly and I was on top of him, straddling him.
"Wait, they're coming back," I said, with one eye on the doorway.
"Who is?" he said, his hands slipping onto my ass and squeezing my cheeks.
"Scott come on," I said with a giggle, as he nuzzled my neck.
Then there was this part. The secret thrill of sneaking around and every time he said things like who is. Just vague enough to make me think that maybe I was overthinking it and he wouldn't care if his best friend did in fact know what we got up to every night. Sometimes during the day. Okay, a lot during the day. At his office or in an empty lecture hall. Fuck, we had no boundaries.
"So Marlene's great, right? She and Kenny are so cute together," I said, still watching the doorway as his hands slid under my top and up my back.
"I don't know. I guess," he said, bringing his mouth back up to mine.
And of course, there's every woman's secret requirement for a boyfriend. He must feign indifference to other women.
"Come on. She's a textbook people pleaser, she's loaded and she's so pretty," I said, forcing him to look at me.
"Are you asking me to check out other women?" he said with that cheeky grin of his. "This feels like a trap," he said, his hands now on my hips.
But maybe the most convincing trait that made Scott boyfriend goals is the way he looked at me. When he entered a room I was in, he sought me out before anyone else. No exceptions. That moment when our eyes met across a room or when he came to be near me was electric every time.
"It's nothing we haven't done before," I said, referring to the many times I have played wingman for him.
The moment I said it, I knew I had put my foot in my mouth. He withdrew from me and pushed me off his lap.
Just as I was about to say something to cut through the awkward tension, Marlene and Kenny reentered the room.
"Chinese is here," said Kenny, setting the food down on the table.
Scott and I reached for the bag at the same time. My hand brushed up against his and we looked at each other.
"Hey Stacy, I forgot to tell you. There's a bachelor apartment available two floors up, in case you're interested. You and Scott must be falling all over each other in his room," said Kenny, reaching for the bag when neither Scott nor I moved to open it.
"You have no idea," I mumbled under my breath.
Scott heard me and I watched him suppress a grin.
"What was that?" Kenny asked, offering everyone their food.
"Don't be ridiculous. Couples should live together. I'm sure they're making it work," said Marlene, raising her chopsticks to an oblivious Kenny's mouth.
Did she just lowkey ask him to move in together after dating for only a month? Not sure if I respected that or was suddenly wary of this chick. Then again, how was I any better? I moved in with a guy who takes me out all the time, just the two of us, but it's never expressly called a date. That one goes in the con column for Scott as boyfriend goals.
"Oh they're not together," said Kenny, responding in kind by feeding Marlene some of his food. "I mean obviously I keep telling them they should be but—"
Oh fuck off, Kenny. I can't tell if you're stupid or an evil genius, trying to smoke us out.
"Really?" Marlene asked. "I'm sorry, I just thought— I mean you held hands all night. At some point, there was definite snuggling involved."
"Like brother and sister, babe. Strictly platonic," Kenny insisted.
I'm fucking dying here. Sensing my irritation, Scott took my hand and gave me a reassuring smile.
Not this time, buddy. Fucking say something, Scott Brady. Anything.
"You know what, Ken? I'll look into the apartment. I've more than overstayed my welcome," I said, yanking my hand away from Scott's, frustration bubbling to the surface.
Scott looked taken aback, like I'd just suckerpunched him.
"You know what else would be good? You should both come down to the speed dating event being hosted at one of Marlene's father's restaurants tomorrow night. You guys are going through a real dry spell. I haven't seen either of you go on a date in over a month. What's the place called again, babe?" Kenny asked.
Sensing the charged energy that apparently only Kenny wasn't picking up on, Marlene hesitated, but eventually said, "Le Bistro Royal. We'll be glad to have you?"
"Great," I said, crushing a fortune cookie in my hand. "We'll be there."
"What are you doing?" Scott whispered through gritted teeth.
"Helping you with other women. My specialty," I said, returning his heated glare with one of my own.