Ted's Living Room, 2030
"Dad, why didn't Aunt Robin tell you guys how she saw Aunt Alyx that day?" asked his daughter, somewhat concerned by the clear suffering she could see just from the story.
"Well, sweetie, Robin didn't talk about it at the time because she didn't expect it to get worse. She thought it was Alyx's coping mechanism—just as she had her hobby at the shooting range, she believed Alyx was working out her emotions through martial arts and that the dark circles under her eyes were like when Marshall wasn't eating or sleeping but eventually improved."
"But Dad, she took care of Uncle Marshall, and you guys did too, right?" said his daughter, confused.
"Yes," Ted affirmed, with nostalgia and a touch of guilt, he continued. "She always took care of him after Lily left, and we did too. She was that silent support who was always there, and we always saw her as so strong—how she handled herself, her emotions, everything. That's exactly what Robin saw and believed, based on everything Lily had told her and what she had seen of Alyx. But she didn't account for the fact that Alyx had also had her own breakup and pain with Marshall and Lily, and she expected her to improve like Marshall did—something he had managed with too much reliance on Alyx and on us. And Alyx couldn't, having isolated herself so much."
"And when did you help her?" asked his son, now immersed in the story and worried about his favorite aunt.
"Well, some time passed before we realized we had taken Alyx's solitary improvement for granted—that she didn't need us like Marshall did. Moreover, we didn't realize that she wasn't just the support for Marshall and Lily, but for us too. And just as she supported and helped us the best she could when we needed it, she needed us—she wanted to be seen and helped, and she certainly deserved it. She needed someone to help her unload the weight she was carrying alone."
Back to 2006
The canvas with the silhouette from behind remained unfinished. Alyx was unable to find the color she wanted for the emptiness within the silhouette. She considered gray for indecision, blue for melancholy, or black like the ash of her cigarettes. She didn't know which, but the painting felt so personal that it ended up as she felt: without a defined color, like the emotional stagnation in her life.
Loneliness was like discovering a new muscle, especially after having been surrounded for so long by her favorite people. Now, discovering solitude sometimes felt cramped or tense from the excess of silence in her new home.
Now, the tremors in her hands were faithful companions that remained by her side, with their own meaning depending on their intensity. A minor tremor meant she had consumed less coffee that day or had completely exhausted her energy after an intense Muay Thai session that had drained her demons. A stronger tremor meant she had painted something that scared her, that she had drunk too much coffee to avoid sleeping, or that she had spent too much time thinking about Lily's sketchbook, the Polaroid, or the earring she had hidden away.
One afternoon after training, she decided to treat herself to a specialty coffee from a small shop near her new apartment—a luxury she could afford now that money wasn't a problem. The universe, so funny and dramatic, seemed to decide to collide two of her favorite dramas: broken couples and common places you can't escape.
Lily was in line, two people ahead. Alyx recognized her instantly when she joined the line, noticing her body—the curve of her shoulders (now more hunched), her once longer, red hair (now with a less flattering cut and darker tones). Alyx was about to turn around instinctively, but it was already too late. She wasn't prepared for Lily to turn around to pay, and Lily's expressive green eyes met Alyx's.
The world stopped for both of them in that long fraction of a second. Alyx had nowhere to hide, nor did she feel capable of running away with Lily staring fixedly at her with those beautiful green eyes. Now surrounded by the aroma of roasted coffee beans that filled every space, Alyx felt a jumble of emotions she hadn't expected, even with her addictive consumption of coffee.
Lily paled quickly, and Alyx noticed how her fingers gripped her purse like a lifeline.
"Alyx," Lily said in a hoarse whisper.
"Lily," Alyx replied with a nod meant to be neutral but that came out stiff.
An awkward silence fell between them, so thick that the barista seemed to feel it. "Um... for here or to go?" he asked.
Lily seemed to snap out of a trance. "To go, thanks." She paid quickly and, instead of leaving, stayed to the side, waiting.
Alyx placed her order. "A large Americano to go, please." Her voice didn't tremble (something she secretly prided herself on).
"How... are you?" Lily asked hesitantly as the barista went to prepare the espresso.
"Fine," Alyx said, staring fixedly at the machine and praying it would work faster. "Busy. The new apartment is good."
"I'm glad," Lily murmured.
Then, in a burst of desperate courage, she said, "Can we... sit for a moment? Just a moment."
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