Lavinia De Rais
When Pietro arrived, all the girls wanted him (and still want him).
I had the extreme pleasure of being his chosen one. Above all else. The only one worthy of being by his side.
Everything he does enchants me.
A guy named Vinccentt told me "Lavínia, you don't know who you're messing with, Pietro caused the death of a lot of people!"
Then I started to like him even more.
I love bad boys. The badder the best.
Even after we were caught kissing, Guilhermo, my ex, didn't let me go.
An extremely annoying boy, not at all as handsome or interesting as Pietro.
A month after he arrived we were already hooking up. I was riding high in being the little princess by his side, with every girl wishing to be me and every guy wishing to have me.
***
At night Pietro knocks on my bedroom door.
He asks me to go for a walk, but I know what he wants.
It was the same with all my past boyfriends. At this point, they are always the same.
We walked for a long time in the woods.
We finally stop far from the houses. I think without my enhanced physique I wouldn't be able to go back by myself, it's so dark. It thrills me.
"I want you to do something for me." He says softly in my ear, making me shiver.
"What?" I pretend to not care.
His voice is smooth and soothing, and I end up agreeing with his request, even though I feel irritated that he's doing all this for another girl. But I'll just pretend anyway.
He squeezes my waist and kisses me and I let him do as he wishes.
Slowly he takes off my shirt.
A light rain begins to fall, but the treetops protect us.
His hands are warm against my skin.
I thought it would be the same as the other times, but I was completely wrong.
I eagerly take off his shirt.
He realizes that I'm not afraid, I'm already experienced.
This time it won't be delicate at all.
I barely felt the leaf-covered ground beneath my back.
My face burns.
I want more.
We're practically on fire.
Beads of sweat slide down your skin.
Every time his mouth touches my skin, my muscles contract.
I lose track of time.
It was already dawn when we got back, but no one was awake.
Everything is in absolute peace. But then he shatters it again talking about… that.
I'm getting more annoyed about it, we just had a moment and the first thing he remembers is talking about someone else?
I disguise my unwillingness and watch him go, my gaze drifting to house number thirteen.
Hmm… let's see who you are, Alexandra.
***
Alexandra Lobaczewski
I spend a lot of time hiding from Ares these days. Like the little coward I am.
I need to reflect.
If I see him, I fear I might lose control.
How can he mess with me so much?
I thought Lucca was my soulmate, but his image is slowly fading like a dream as Ares' face takes over my mind.
I am torn between my past, and a possible future.
And I feel awful. But like it was just a course of nature.
Did I actually ever know what true love is? I can't tell anymore.
***
Two months.
Ares probably understood that I didn't have the courage to see him for now. And he respected the distance between us.
But my chest bursts with sadness when I think of him. Of being apart on purpose. Of driving this wedge between us. Why can't things be simpler?
A burning passion suffocates me.
I tremble with fever every now and then like it physically hurts me being away from him.
If I don't see him, smell him, or feel his skin touch mine, I don't know what will happen to me.
I think I'll combust.
At the same time, I'm afraid to give myself up. What if the same thing that happened to Lucca happens to Ares?
I feel like a jinx.
I can't bear one more loss.
I wouldn't forgive myself.
Sinuhe lives restless, inconstant, just like I am inside.
Oh, damn.
What if Ares doesn't want me anymore?
What will I do?
I punch the wall.
The structures shake and there is a hole where my fist hit.
Shit.
Sometimes I feel resentful that I ever met Lucca.
***
"You've been so melancholic lately!" Says Ally.
She's the only person I can talk to.
We are sitting side by side.
The "campus" is in front of us.
It's a holiday.
Everyone is free for a day to socialize and enjoy. Nobody can go out though. So like a prison's playground.
So many boys and girls who had the same or similar tragic fate as mine.
They are also alone.
And the thing I learned these days is why all those are called sororities without fraternities, most of the people here are girls. At the beginning it was even more girls and guys filled in slowly over time, so it was kept as sorority. I guess it's their bad sense of humor, comparing all these to human universities.
I didn't see Ares during breakfast, so far he hasn't shown up. He is avoiding me too, and as unfair as it is, it hurts me.
He must be in the clearing, but I haven't gone there.
I don't understand why the council claims to put the newcomers in sororities because they could be dangerous or reveal our existence, if when they leave they will be much worse off.
To me all this is just stupid.
"I'm not melancholic, it's just that I don't really like talking to strangers, and I need to deal with my feelings, which are very confusing right now," I say mechanically.
She shrugs.
Mary Anne Katterfelto and Edward Mc Glhahann are sitting on a bench some distance from mine.
Mary took the horse riding test with me and Edward took the fencing test, both of them dark-skinned, with soft features and fragile smiles.
She always wears a skirt, her short brown hair partially covers her small round face, her orange-gray eyes blend in with Edward's brown ones.
Tannisha and Rodolfo stayed in the tenth republic.
Rodolfo and Amanda are sitting together, he looks at her like they are on a date, oblivious to the crowd of people around. Everyone is pretending. I can see in the way their tense smiles never reach their eyes.
Amanda has been distancing herself from me lately, she probably blames me for getting caught after running away for so long.
Pietro.
I identify him among the people of the tenth republic. His image is so alike and so different from Lucca it's like a whiplash.
My first impulse is to go over there and rip his face apart.
Oh yes, I would like to do so.
But I need to control myself, if I don't it could result in a very painful punishment.
And I don't want that. Not for him.
Lavínia De Rais is close to him.
I had heard a lot about her, often not good things.
Her brown hair with pink highlights waves down to the middle of her back.
Golden, languid eyes.
She insinuates herself with gestures, her hips, the way she speaks, the way she looks, it's truly incredible how much she can do this.
All focused on Pietro. To me it is just disgusting to see.
Guilhermo De Fleur of the seventh republic is at his feet saying something, but being ignored.
Very short hair, thin, with big, cocky eyes. He's not very handsome, but he seems nice. Seemed.
He has been doing Greco-Roman wrestling for the same period as me.
Lavínia is sitting on Pietro's lap, who in turn is sitting on a rustic wooden bench, his hands resting around her waist.
Pietro's head turns a little and he sees me. I know he does because he immediately stiffens.
He takes Lavinia off his lap and they come towards me holding hands.
I get up and go to my own sorority.
If I stay close to him, I might not be able to control myself. I know he wants to taunt me but I'm not forced to stay here and take it.
He stops me and grabs my arm halfway.
"Well, who do we have here?" He says mocking.
"Let go of my arm, or I'll rip yours off!" I say quietly without turning completely to face him.
He lets go looking like he doesn't know why he let go.
"Leave me alone, you son of a bitch."
"I don't think so." He laughs.
I want to end that laughter, I want to end everything he holds dear. The force of my hatred gets me off guard.
I'm barely containing myself. My hands trembling, the urge to punch him so great I need to chant in my head to calm down.
Until his eyes glint, his mouth opens to say something stupid, and I snap.
My first collides on the mark I made the first day we met (the one I made with Tauro's knife, but unfortunately now it's just pink, it would soon disappear). The sick sound of a crack echoing. The skin beneath my hand is giving way.
He falls to the ground stunned. Half his face sunken in.
Good.
I feel a little better.
A crowd of curious people forms around us.
"I told you to leave me alone." I repeat slowly.
Luckily, the tutors turn a blind eye to my lack of control and I go away before the chick starts shrieking.
***
I can't sleep.
Nightmares are more real than ever (if that's possible).
I wake up drenched in sweat.
I'm lucky the rooms have soundproofing so no one can hear my screams.
I'm only wearing a black silk nightgown.
The half mask practically merged with my face. I only remember I have it when I need to eat. It's a strange sensation, how we become used to what we hate.
I get up.
The night is cold, but I don't feel it. I don't feel anything. The only indication is the goosebumps on my flesh. I don't feel anything, but my body does. Have those days in torture fried my pain receptors? No. I felt him.
My throat is dry.
I need something to drink. Anything.
I put on a black dressing gown that is on the console.
Walking down the stairs silently, Sinuhe goes ahead of me.
The only light comes from the moonlight, bathing the wood in a silvery glow. The air is stale and eerie. It's so silent I can almost imagine nobody's home.
The refrigerator door opens, revealing a muscular outline standing in front of it.
It's Ares.
I slowly turn back.
"I know you're there." He says casually.
I'm paralyzed. I don't know why he is here. Was there a change in the sorority members and nobody told me? He was from the six the last time checked. And I had no idea you could move from sororities, each one is a territory and their masters treat each as their treasure, I never thought they could just give up their talents away to others like that.
He appears in front of me and holds my waist with his strong hands. I don't fight back.
He's not wearing a shirt, just ripped jeans. His body merging with the shadows as the soft light from the fridge is not enough to illuminate the room.
Oh, God.
He's as stunning as last time.
His face is completely uncovered.
His dark eyes are fixed on me. Unfathomable.
I shudder.
"Why are you running away from me?" He asks, his voice low and husky.
I start to burn. My ear is tingling. How can someone have a voice that's pure sin?
"Everyone who gets close to me ends up dying, and I won't lose you." I say quietly.
He brings his face to me, his body curving over me.
"You don't need to worry about me, I'm as strong as you." He grins. His eyes sparkling.
I'm almost melting in his hands.
I can't control my feelings. Not with him.
My necklace glows and pulses in my sternum. The glow illuminates our faces from below.
"What's going on with your necklace?" He asks, his eyes on the shining heart with curiosity.
I shudder again.
"A friend gave it to me, he said that when I was close to my soulmate the necklace would glow." My voice is hoarse.
I let the implications in the air, waiting for his reaction with a bathed breath.
"We don't need a necklace to know we are soulmates."
I look for Sinuhe with my eyes.
I only see a white mass wrapped in a black mass, it's Niethyw.
I manage to free myself from Ares's hands and go to the fridge.
"I just came to get a glass of water."
I don't acknowledge what he says, I can't.
I fill a glass cup and put the bottle back in the fridge. I drink as fast as I can.
I need to get out of here soon.
I won't resist for long.
He appears in front of me.
I put the glass on the counter before I drop it.
Ares grabs me by the waist and pulls me up. Towards him.
I put my legs around his waist like it's the most natural thing in the world, my hand looping around his neck. Our bodies like puzzle pieces coming together. Like we were made to be like this,
He sits me down at the counter.
A fire starting to burn low in my belly, my resolve crumbling like a paper wall in the rain.
His kiss is voracious and full of passion and desire. Like he can't get enough. Like he will die if he doesn't devour me.
I reciprocate.
My necklace pulses so fast it mirrors my heartbeat.
He holds me tighter against him.
His hands explore from the back of my neck to my knees.
My silk nightgown is short and in the position I'm in makes it high high on my thigh.
I can't stop kissing him.
I'm so… tired. Of putting all my strength in denying.
We are almost fused together, we are so close, but somehow it's not enough.
He squeezes my thighs hard, as if he wants something to hold on to.
The kiss grows deeper.
I know where this will end.
Shit.
The image of Lucca passes through my mind.
I can't do that to his memory.
It's wrong.
I free myself from Ares' embrace with prodigious strength, and run to my room, locking the door.
I feel the tremors that the door receives.
It's Ares hitting it.
I can't hear what he's saying. The muffler won't let me.
I let myself slide on the floor.
My back is pressed against the door.
Damn, damn, damn.
I want to cry, but no more tears come out.
I bend down and rest my head on my knees.
Lucca's memory will always be present no matter what happens.
Ares is the only one who could get rid of it. I know it deep down.
And now I do this.
He must be mad at me. And he's right. The mixed signals are wrong on my part. I'm so weak and pathetic right now. All that for nothing.
If I wasn't so out of control and stupid this wouldn't have happened.
I need Ares, but I don't have the courage to open the door!
Why am I such an idiot?
I, who already ripped out Theodore's heart with my own hands, cannot speak face to face with the man I love.
Stupid.
Just stupid.