Ares starts to accompany me every time I go to the clearing.
I feel good around him.
We always talk about something we have in common (I found out he has constant nightmares too). He doesn't like everything I do, but for the things we both like we could go on talking forever. He's an avid reader like me, and he is just as awkward with all this supernatural stuff as me, matter of fact he was turned the same day I was, so in some way we have the same age?
We like the same bands too, but I'm more into indie than him. And he is more into games than me.
I could hear him talking forever.
His voice just… resonates deep inside me.
One day Ares couldn't go, Dragon put him through extra training.
He's starting to get suspicious. I don't know how he knows, we are very cautious about it, and we don't even plan it most of the time, it just happens.
I'm laid down singing a lullaby my mom used to sing to me when I was little, the canopy above swaying gently and the breeze around me like a warm embrace.
In the middle of the song Ares appears.
"Your voice is beautiful!" He says while laying down next to me.
"I thought you were in extra training."
I blush.
No one had ever heard me sing, not even Sammy, I just feel too awkward.
"I finished the extra training and Dragon had nothing else to keep me there, so I came here."
I look at his face, the sunset makes his eyes warmer. His skin glowing, his bulk is so big he feels larger than life even lying down. I wonder what his parents used to feed him, was there Whey in his milk bottles?
He's studying me back with his sharp scrutiny. Like he always commits each moment to memory.
"You know… I always have this… I don't know how to put it, this strange feeling next to you." He says slowly.
My heart starts to race. I know where this is going.
"What kind of strange?" My voice is so quiet I startle myself.
His face gets closer when he turns on his side to focus entirely on me. His body language indicating I have his entire attention.
"It's a very comfortable kind of strange, like I've known you, like I have been looking for you for a long time and now that I found you I can only be relieved, do you find it strange?"
I can feel the heart pendant inside my blouse pulsing faster and faster the closer he gets.
He rests his forehead against mine.
I can't repel him.
His skin is so hot like he's running a fever all the time. His eyes never leave mine, like he's looking for something.
I don't know what to answer.
All this time… in between dealing with the past in private and mourning what could have been I just… I don't know. I don't have any answers.
His hand reaches slowly to put a strand of hair behind my ear, like he's giving me time to get accustomed with his touch.
It's still as electric as the first time, but it quicks dissipates in a current making the goosebumps rise over my body.
I feel like I'm a planet locked in a gravitational pull. Whenever we're near I'm always drawn to look at him, acknowledge his presence, initiate a conversation, and be near. Like I can't help myself. No matter if I try to hold on or not, I will give in.
Like I can't erect any walls in front of him, he doesn't even need to break them down, they crumble into nothing the moment he looks back.
It does give me a weird sensation in the pit of my stomach, like anxiety, but less harmful.
I know it's not fair to compare, it's just… before Lucca there was nobody else, and I never felt like this even when I was the most infatuated with him.
It scares me a little.
Taking the next step… that I'm even thinking about it scares me even more.
It all feels so fast and so slow at the same time, like it could be just yesterday or a million years ago.
Oh, damn.
His gaze drops to my lips and he looks in my eyes again, like he's asking for consent. I breathe deep, his scent clouding my mind, making me want to crawl into his skin.
I close the gap first, my hand going to his nape, holding his hair, as if I've done it a million times. So familiar.
His lips are warm and soft. His taste is like sweet berries with a hint of spice.
I can't think of anything else.
Somehow I end up above him, our fronts pressed so tight together I can feel every line of his abs under me.
He holds the underside of my thighs.
The deeper the kiss gets the less restraint I have, as if we were meant to be like this from the beginning. As if everything that ever happened before was leading me to this. To him.
The emotions are so intense.
I forget the world.
All that matters is him and the contact of his skin with mine.
He stops for a moment and looks into my eyes.
"Your eyes." He says, his voice husky. His hand leaves my waist and traces my cheeks gently. His touch was scorching but so tender.
"What's wrong?" My voice is hoarse like I'm thirsty.
He gives me a smile. His face is so radiant, he's so beautiful it hurts a little. Like he's too unreal. His smile softens his features, his eyes full of light and…
"They're a little pink."
"Yours too." I say.
The baby pink edges on his irises give him a somewhat idol glamour.
His lips find my mouth again, then my jaw, my neck, then all the way back to my mouth. He's voracious, and a little overwhelming.
A deep moan comes from deep in his throat.
Oh no...
I know where this is going.
I'm not ready.
He squeezes my thigh tighter.
But I don't make him stop. I don't want this to stop.
I want it.
He is my soulmate. Deep down I knew it the first time I saw him, but I don't want more heartache.
To go through all that and then worse…
I just can't stop it too. Like it's inevitable.
And I can't do anything to change that.
Something new is forming inside me.
A new bond.
I don't need to drink his blood to bond with him.
The simple fact that he is touching me is enough.
"Stop, please." I say breathlessly.
"Why?" He continues kissing me.
"Not here, not now. Please" I plead.
He stops kissing me and looks at me seriously, whatever he sees in my eyes makes him relax and he lets me get up.
"I know now it's not the time for this, but I just need you to give me a chance to prove myself. You feel it too, I know it."
I give him a long look, on how his hair is disheveled but still looking silky, how he looks at me like I hold his heart in my hands, and my own heart clenches painfully in response.
This is all so much… so much more, that I'm scared to take the next step.
"I will think about it." It's all I say before turning and running back.
I run as fast as I can to my room and lock the door.
I let myself fall down next to the bed.
A smile appears on my lips.
I'm in love again. And I need to be braver to embrace it. I need to build myself back.
After seven months without Lucca, I fell in love again.
It really feels bittersweet.
Sinuhe jumps into my lap and rests his head on my shoulder.
Outside the moon rises brightly.