--- Somewhere far away from Jack, somewhere a certain adventurer was enjoying herself.
Inside a tavern called 'The Dragon's Anvil,' in the dwarven city of Khaz'Modar, a woman was counting her gold coins, each making a satisfying clink as she dropped them onto a rough-hewn wooden table.
"Money and slime! What more can a woman ask for?"
Her red hair was as wild as the laugh that escaped her, echoing over the sound of dwarven drinking songs and the clash of tankards. She wore no armor, just a practical tunic and trousers stained with who-knows-what.
A dwarf slammed a huge mug of ale down in front of her.
"Slime Slayer, your friend Lancel sent for ye!" he belched.
The Slime Slayer simply rolled her eyes.
"The church can fuck right off. Lancel can take that shiny cross of his and shove it up-"
The dwarf cleared his throat. Next to her, a paladin in full golden armour had been silently standing there.
"His ass," she finished, her smirk never faltering.
Even through his armor you could tell his expression hardened.
"Miss Renin. You of all people should know the adventure guild will not protect you from the inquisition."
He sat down.
"You are a tool designed to cut one thing and one thing only," he said.
"Slimes," she finished with a bored look.
In her head however a different conversation was taking place.
[Next slime quest is in Uryen Forest.]
[Target: Weapon Slime]
The paladin's stare intensified.
"Inquisitor Lancel has found something peculiar in-"
"Holia?" she cut him off.
"Not interested."
Standing up, she collected her gold.
"It's about a slime," the paladin said.
She stopped for a second.
"Let me guess it tried to feel you up, made you question your vow of chastity, then ran off into the sunset, and now the great church has a problem," she said with a yawn.
The paladin's knuckles whitened where he gripped his cup.
"You have no grace for the holy," he stated.
The slayer gestured for him to continue with a sarcastic 'go on'.
"The sample has traces of holy magic, yet it was summoned from a demonic circle. The Priestess, Jeanne D'Amain has gone rogue with it."
The slayer whistled.
"I'm not the Demon Slayer."
She turned to leave.
"The slime is not a demon. It has no horns or evil in its aura. Instead it seems to be an ordinary slime that escaped off into Uryen Forest."
Hearing that forest, she did a double take. A gut feeling built from hearing far too many coincidence.
"Is it a weapon slime?"
The paladin shook his head.
"Inquisitor said it is an ordinary slime."
She sighed. This was a collosal waste of her time. She had plenty of quests to choose from yet the church wants her to hunt a non-demon slime.
[Error. The weapon slime in Uryen forest vanished. Re-calculating]
The slayer paused her walk.
"It died?"
[It vanished.] the system corrected.
"Where is this slime now?" he asked the paladin.
"In Uryen forest," the paladin said.
The slayer tapped her finger on the table. Something didn't add up.
[I can't locate the slime's position. Not to mention there are no weapon slimes in Uryen Forest.] the system updated. Then she got a notification. A quest was made.
"Another quest?"
[Yes...]
[....]
The system went silent for too long, something it rarely did. The last time it did was a slime that wiped out a city.
[This is a quest from a Deity.] the system clarified.
[I can not refuse it nor can I abandon it.]
"What is it?" she asked, her expression changed for the first time since the conversation began.
[Kill the slime known as Jack Der Quiver.] it chimed in.
There it was.
[Threat level: Unknown]
--- Back in Uryen forest
Jeanne woke with a jolt as if emerging from deep water. Her first sensation was the lingering phantom sting in her shoulder, a cruel reminder of the limb that was no longer there.
"Is this purgatory? The afterlife for failed priestesses?" she mumbled. The world was a blur of white and grey. Snow on pines.
A slime popped out of the snow.
"Yes. You are dead. You will face eternal hand-holding with a talking slime," he said, a tremor in his squeaky core.
Jeanne stared.
Then she looked down at the mangled remains of her robes, where her right arm used to be. But it wasn't the raw, bleeding wound she remembered from the abyss of consciousness. It was sealed.
More horrific was her gloves. They weren't on her bare hands anymore. Instead they were lying in the snow, covered in a slime-like substance.
She lifted her hand to her face, her movements slow, mechanical.
"You violated me again," she said, her voice was a monotone. But he saw the hint of anger.
"No we're married so it's technically not violation anymore."
Jack hopped next to her.
She stared at her bare skin, the holy sigils glowing faintly, then at Jack. Then she searched for her arm, there were healers capable of reattaching it. Maybe there was hope.
"Where is it?"
He whistled.
"I ate it."
He thought the best way to break it to her was to be as direct as possible. No sugarcoating. He was her husband after all.
"Wha-"
The slime watched as a wide range of emotions crossed her face before settling on something colder, sharper. She immediately grabbed him by the core. He squealed from the pressure, which was stronger than before.
"You gluttonous monster."
Jack did not enjoy being squeezed at all.
"I gained the strength to heal you," he said in a muffled squeak.
"Also as much as I'd love to be showered by your praises for saving you, I must remind you of the approaching dangers."
Jeanne's grip loosened.
"Shit. How long have we been here?" she asked, her eyes darting towards the sky.
"A few hours."
The priestess quickly put on her gloves and grabbed her robe that had been used as bandages, cleaning the slime off. Then, she yanked Jack up, placing him back into her cleavage. He found it a lot more comfortable than the boot.
"Now this is how a wife should-"
Wind blasted him in the face as she took off running. It seemed she had recovered. The trees blurred into streaks of brown and green as Jeanne wove through them.
He settled in between her boobs as he looked at his system, well at the past logs.
[A bounty was placed on your head, the quest giver is a deity. The Slime Slayer knows you're in the Uryen forest.]
The system had added a few logs while he was healing Jeanne. Even hours later the dread was still fresh. If a deity was involved, it's more serious than being a wanted felon. This wasn't just the Church now.
---
[Name: Jack Der Quiver]
[Species: Sanquilisme Slime (Blood-Healing-Weapon)]
[Level: 4]
[Skills: Slime Throw Level 1, Blood Forging Level 1, Heal Mucus Level 1]
[Weapons absorbed: Rusty Nail]
[Titles: Husband of Jeanne D'Amain]
[HP: 30 -> 40]
[Mana: 5 -> 10]
[Stamina: 10 -> 15]
[Strength: 10 -> 15]
[Intelligence: 5 -> 10]
[Handholding Points: 0]
Jack could now reliable kill a rat with his slime throw. Not an adult one. But baby ones.