The good times didn't last long, and Tian Liu Yan was summoned to Zhao Hua's chambers the very next morning. As he made his way there, he was surprised to find Zhao Hua, stiff as a board and smiling tensely, in a pavilion near her rooms.
Li Wangxi sat next to her, and Luo Xinxin sat next to him. She didn't look any better. Xinxin also sat there completely tense, her eyes downcast, trying not to look at Wangxi.
"Brother-in-law, come here," Li Wangxi called, waving him over.
Liu Yan approached but did not sit down. The only empty seat was next to Zhao Hua. But Wangxi stood up and gently pushed him into the empty seat. He seemed oblivious to the tense atmosphere and poured them tea.
Xinxin closed her eyes. She must have had the same thought as him. How stupid could someone be? Li Wangxi's behavior would ultimately only lead to Zhao Hua punishing them terribly.
"Luo Xinxin, right?" Wangxi asked, looking at the small, wiry girl. Xinxin forced a half-hearted smile and nodded.
"I see you've been warmly welcomed and even given work," Wangxi said cheerfully. Xinxin's smile faltered and looked rather pained. Zhao Hua gave her a piercing look.
"Yes," Xinxin replied.
"Why were you in the river in the first place?" Wangxi pressed. Xinxin's expression hardened.
"I don't want to talk about it," she replied. Zhao Hua snorted.
"When my brother asks you a question, you have to answer," she said sternly, her fingers twitching as if she wanted to slap Xinxin. But Li Wangxi just raised a hand and calmed his sister down.
"No need, she must have had her reasons," he said. Turning to Xinxin, he continued with his questions.
"Have you settled in well and do you plan to stay here? The Zhaos are an honest and sincere family. They will take good care of you."
Liu Yan watched out of the corner of her eye as Xinxin kneaded the fabric of her uniform.
Her fingers were white and her whole body was tense to the point of breaking. Zhao Hua gave her a warning look. "Sure." Xinxin's voice trembled, half with anger, half with fear. This guy was living in a different reality if he described the Zhao family as honest and sincere.
Li Wangxi didn't seem to notice how forced and tense the tea party was. When he finished asking Xinxin questions and said goodbye, she jumped up and disappeared without another word or glance.
"She must be very shy," Li Wangxi remarked.
Tian Liu Yan raised an eyebrow, while Zhao Hua pressed her lips together to keep from making a sarcastic remark.
"Zhao Huan and I are going to visit the temple today," Wangxi said. Zhao Hua clenched her hands into fists under the table. Then she put a sugary-sweet smile on her face.
"Li Gege, let me come with you. Let's take Zhao Yuan and Zhao Yuehao with us and pray for the whole family. We so rarely all get together," she pleaded. Li Wangxi thought about her words and finally nodded.
"You're right, it would be selfish to pray only for ourselves. I'll talk to Zhao Jisheng.
And you? Will you accompany us, Your Highness?" he asked, turning to Liu Yan.
Liu Yan's thoughts had drifted far away, and he had to find his way back to the conversation. But Zhao Hua poked him in the side with her chopsticks, well hidden from her brother's view, and made it clear that he should stay where he was. Liu Yan forced a smile.
"I'd like to stay here," he said calmly, even though the pain in his side was sharp. He felt Zhao Hua piercing not only a hole in his new clothes, but also in his skin. He gritted his teeth and tried to move away. Li Wangxi nodded understandingly.
"Your Highness, even if you were born a curse-bound, that is no reason to distance yourself from the people who love you," he said gently.
Zhao Hua laughed and hid her aversion behind a feigned coughing fit. Liu Yan stiffened, his finger twitching. The oversized husky was really too stupid.
"Liu Yan, wait for me in my chambers. I'll say goodbye as soon as we leave," Zhao Hua purred. A hot chill ran down Liu Yan's spine. He didn't want to enter her chambers, nor did he want to wait for what she called goodbye. But in order not to make things worse, he just nodded and stood up. As he left, he heard Wangxi say to his sister:
"I'm glad you get along so well despite the circumstances. You've really grown up, Meimei!"
***
Liu Yan knelt in the middle of the room, so he wasn't too close to the first lady's belongings, but was well warmed by the charcoal bowl.
His gaze slid to the door as it slid open and Zhao Hua stormed in. He followed her with his eyes, always on guard, watching what she did next. He clenched his jaw when she set her sights on him. Despite the numerous beatings and abuse, he couldn't help but look at her with utter disgust. He knew how much she hated it when he did that. The idea that she might have nightmares about him amused him greatly.
"Don't flatter yourself about Li Ge's kindness," she hissed at him.
Liu Yan tilted his head slightly and laughed silently. She called that kindness? To him, the man was simple-minded and utterly stupid. If Li Wangxi really had compassion, he wouldn't walk through the world so childishly and blindly.
Zhao Hua raised her hand and Liu Yan closed his eyes, but the expected blow did not come. Frustrated, the first young lady looked around and her anger grew immeasurably when she realized that she couldn't just hit him as she usually did. As long as her brother was there and assumed she would take sincere and loving care of her fiancé, she couldn't just punish him thoughtlessly.
Finally, she straightened her shoulders. A sly smile spread across her face.
"Since Da Li Gege assumes that we have a harmonious relationship, you will surely miss me dearly, won't you?" she chirped.
Liu Yan felt sick to his stomach.
"While we visit the temple and spend the New Year there, you will write me a love poem under the bright New Year's moon," she announced.
Liu Yan looked up at her. A chill spread through him. She wanted what?
"Try to act like a man who can't be without his fiancée. You'll find something suitable in one of your nonsensical books."
Now, instead of copying down silly rules and thick tomes, he was supposed to write a love letter for her?
"I'd rather die than say a single good word about you," he snorted. Zhao Hua's eyes narrowed.
"You do as I say, or I'll make sure you beg me to let you die," she hissed.
"Yi Chang!" she called loudly. "Yi Chang!"
"Gracious lady!" Yi Chang came running up, out of breath. "What do you want?"
"The family will soon be leaving for the temple. Prepare everything I need and make sure someone keeps an eye on things to ensure my instructions are carried out," she barked.
"Until we return, he is not to leave his room," she ordered. Yi Chang curtsied.
"Of course, Miss," she said humbly, and a sly grin spread across her face.
Liu Yan turned away from the two snakes. Cold resignation spread through him; that was how it was and how it would always be. The hateful people unleashed their bad karma on him, and those on the sunny side of life either looked away or did as Li Wangxi did and simply ignored it.
He closed his eyes. He only got up when Yi Chang asked him to see the first young lady off at the gate.
Lethargically, he took one step after another. Not even Zhao Huan's ashen face could cheer him up. The whole family, even the concubines, had gathered. "Brother-in-law, take care of your health, you look very pale," Li Wangxi cautioned. "Don't overdo it and go to bed early if you're not feeling well.
I'll bring you some medicine from the temple monks," he tried to cheer him up.
Liu Yan's gaze slid to Zhao Hua, who was painting with her jaw under her loving smile. Their eyes met and the corners of their mouths twitched slightly.
"Take care of yourself, my dear," she squeezed out. Liu Yan did not return the smile, but bowed his head slightly and waited silently until everyone had boarded the carriages provided and departed.
The servants closed the mighty entrance gate and then hurried to complete their assigned tasks so that they could celebrate their own festival.
Liu Yan stood in front of the locked gate. The indifference he had worked so hard to achieve vanished. He clutched at the fabric of his robe, and for the first time in a long time, pain and sorrow filled his heart.
Melancholy for a better place, a better time, longing for ... more! Since when had it been like this, since when had it become so difficult for him to bear the fate he had long since come to terms with?
"Hey, you filthy mutt," a hateful voice rang out behind him. Liu Yan only tilted his head slightly, but did not turn around. So the servant had to step forward and stare at him angrily.
Liu Yan's gaze shifted from the floor to the small, gaunt man. He recognized one of the kitchen boys. But instead of backing away, a murderous look came into his eyes and he stared at the young man with emotionless, cold, dark eyes.
For the first time, the young man took a step back, confused by the sudden change of heart of the otherwise humble, defeated prince. But he quickly recovered and waved his finger in front of Liu Yan's nose.
"Go and do what Miss Zhao Hua asked you to do," he barked at him.
Liu Yan did as he was told and turned around. As he climbed the steps to his room, the man behind him cursed and rubbed his freezing arms.
"Get inside and stop bothering me," he grumbled.
"As if I'm going to stand here all night," the man grumbled and left without looking back.
"As if that dog would dare to come out voluntarily."
Liu Yan closed the door behind him. For once, he was right: he would never voluntarily leave his room and face the whims of the staff. Even if that meant once again not getting anything to eat until the Zhao family, and Li Wangxi in particular, returned.
There was one good thing about the whole situation: thanks to the general's stay and his boundless naivety, Liu Yan's furnishings had expanded somewhat. He now owned a few candles, fire sticks, several blankets, a mattress, and even a charcoal bowl.
It was already dark and he had been sitting with his brush over a blank sheet of paper for hours when there was a knock at his door. He didn't respond, and there was another knock. Liu Yan closed his eyes and hoped that whoever it was would go away. But instead, the door was pushed open and someone entered uninvited.
"I know you're there," Xinxins angry voice grumbled through the small room. He turned around involuntarily.
"What do you want here?" he asked gruffly. "To hide again, now that there's no one you can turn to?"
Xinxin was carrying a large woven basket, which she placed on the platform next to the desk before sitting down uninvited.
"Actually, no," she replied, grimacing. "Thanks to Li Wangxi, they're leaving me alone. For now," she added.
Xinxin opened the basket and placed bowls of rice, steamed vegetables, fried fish, cooked meat, and some desserts on the table. Finally, she presented him with a plate full of colorful sticky rice balls.
"Ta-da," she exclaimed quietly. Liu Yan looked at the food. His stomach growled and his mouth watered.
"Did you steal this?" he asked. Xinxin looked at him aggressively.
"Yes and no.
All the employees are having a big communal meal. I just helped myself in the kitchen when no one was looking. Between us, they won't even notice anything is missing," she said.
She handed him a pair of chopsticks and pushed a plate of stuffed rice balls toward him. He carefully broke the rice cake in half and took a sharp breath.
"Don't you eat almonds?" Xinxin asked casually. Liu Yan gave her a cold look and pushed the cake away. Xinxin frowned.
"Just say so if you don't like it," she growled.
"I can't tolerate nuts. When I eat them, my throat swells up and I can't breathe," he said sharply.
Xinxin's eyes widened. She quickly put the small plate back in the basket.
"I didn't know that," she apologized and broke a second cake in half. Relieved, she grinned at him and gave him one half.
"Here, this one is with black bean paste," she exclaimed happily.
Liu Yan flinched briefly and looked at the cake suspiciously. Did she really not know he was allergic? On the other hand, he hadn't actually told anyone about it. He had wanted to avoid Zhao Hua using his intolerance as a form of torture. He could cope with spoiled food, but not with these small, inconspicuous nuts.
For Xinxin, the matter seemed settled, and she boldly reached for the food. When Liu Yan could no longer stand it, he also reached for a bowl of rice and put some vegetables and meat on it.
"Today you should really tuck in. Who knows how long Wangxi will stay and we'll be able to help ourselves," said Xinxin, loading his bowl with fish and meat and a pile of vegetables.
When Liu Yan could barely hold the bowl, he pulled it away. He gazed at the tower of juicy food and shiny steamed vegetables like a little treasure. He focused on every inch of it and pictured it in his mind before picking up his chopsticks and carefully beginning to eat. It was delicious.
After a short time, his chopsticks were full and he chewed bite after bite without having to let the individual, half-cooked grains of rice melt in his mouth. Xinxin laughed.
"It doesn't taste good, does it!" Liu Yan paused. Caught out, his earlobes turned red and he was ashamed of his carelessness.
But Xinxin didn't mock him, nor did she take his food away. She didn't suddenly stand up and throw the bowls around or order him to eat off the floor. She didn't even take his chopsticks away, but just beamed all over her face. Why did it make her happy when he was happy?
A sharp pain shot through his chest, and his first thought was that he had been poisoned. It took him a moment to realize that it was his heart that was hurting so badly. It was beating fast, pumping blood and adrenaline through his veins.
He gritted his teeth and turned away from the girl as he continued to eat more slowly, his heart pounding.