Real It Almost Hurts
Jay didn't realize she was smiling until Yuki flicked her forehead.
"Stop," Yuki whined. "You're literally radiating couple-core energy."
Jay tried to play it cool. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you've said his name six times this morning, and once it was just to compliment his hands."
Jay blushed. "His hands are hot. What do you want me to do?"
Yuki dramatically fake-swooned. "Ugh, you're disgusting. And I love this for you."
And truthfully? Jay loved it for herself too.
Everything felt different. Softer. Warmer. Real.
Keifer started walking her to class every day now.
He'd show up with a drink she didn't even know she needed, throw an arm over her shoulders like it was natural, and kiss her temple like it was a secret only he was allowed to know.
"You're early," she teased one morning.
"I missed your face," he replied without hesitation.
Jay melted. "Do you practice lines in front of the mirror?"
He leaned in. "Only if it makes you laugh like that."
He walked her home now, too.
Didn't even ask—just showed up after school with his bag slung over his shoulder like it was the most normal thing in the world.
Sometimes they held hands.
Sometimes they didn't need to.
Because the silence between them had stopped being awkward. It was just… comfortable.
And every time Jay looked at him, she thought:
Maybe this is what falling in love is supposed to feel like.
But still…
There was something.
A flicker.
A pause in Keifer's eyes whenever she asked how his day was.
A silence too long when she brought up the beginning of their fake dating thing.
A tight smile that didn't always reach his eyes.
Jay noticed.
She always noticed.
But she didn't ask.
Not yet.
Because maybe it was nothing.
Maybe it was just fear. Or nerves. Or him figuring out how to be in something real.
So she let it go—for now.
And let herself enjoy the way his fingers laced with hers as they walked home, the way he stole kisses just before they said goodbye, the way he whispered her name like a prayer and a punchline all at once.
That night, Jay wrote in her journal.
"I think I'm in love with him. For real.
But something about this scares me.
And I don't know if it's because I'm afraid of losing him…
Or because I already know I never had all of him to begin with