* * *
Currently, Irene was at the top of the fortress wall on the northern side, which could only be reached by climbing the stairs.
She needed to go down the stairs from the conference room to treat the wounded, but—
Due to her turbulent emotions, she needed a moment to calm herself.
She was gazing at the vast plain.
And—she was sensing her fate.
'I'm... being abandoned.'
She had anticipated this future might come.
No matter how much she tried to reach out to her lord's heart, no matter how much she tried to prove her loyalty.
Despite all her efforts, her lord, who should have been her sun, was more eager to push her away than to shine warm light upon her.
No matter what achievements she made, they were never acknowledged, and no matter what she said, it was never heard.
Nevertheless, she kept her father's words in her heart and worked diligently to ensure that pride would not be broken.
Slashing training dummies with her sword was quite good for clearing her mind of scattered thoughts, and somehow she had been enduring with strong mental fortitude.
She wanted to burn brightly for her lord.
The more her lord disliked her, the more she wanted to show and prove her burning loyalty.
But—she wasn't superhuman.
Her passion and will, once burning brightly, had become a tiny ember, now precarious and at risk of being extinguished by the slightest breeze.
In this state, receiving what amounted to a "go out and die" order from the lord she believed in and wanted to believe in until the end—
Even someone as strong as her couldn't help but crumble.
But she doesn't think that way. She steadies her wavering heart again and again.
She harbors the vain hope that Lynn Brands might have given her an opportunity to achieve merit.
'...Father...'
The face of her father, her only blood relative, came to mind.
What should I do now?
If the sword I took up to protect someone can no longer protect anyone... No.
If I'm not even allowed to protect someone... how should I live from now on?
The House of Juliet exists for the House of Brands.
Even for someone like her, who had lived by this golden rule, the situation was exhausting.
'...'
If I stay here until the end and fight to the last, will she recognize me?
Will Lynn eventually... understand that I worked hard for her?
If I'm captured but refuse to surrender... if I remain loyal until death, will my sincere heart finally reach her?
Thinking this way suddenly made her feel choked up and on the verge of tears, but she held them back.
Even if abandoned, she wanted to keep her father's dying wish until the end.
Even if she died fighting for her lord until the end.
If that was her fate, then accepting it would be right.
But why did her chest ache so much?
She thought to herself.
If only there was just one person.
If there was just one person who recognized how hard I was trying, who knew I was working hard to be acknowledged...
And then.
"So this is where you were."
"...!!!"
Irene, who had been lost in thought, was startled and looked toward the source of the voice.
There stood Swen, the handsome white-haired man with whom she had spent quite some time.
"I went to where the wounded were but you weren't there, so it took me some time to find you."
"S-Swen... why are you here...?"
"Hmm? Well, I came to see you, Lady Irene."
Ah.
Has he come to say his final farewell?
Come to think of it, she had grown quite fond of Swen.
Though they ended up living together unintentionally at first, the memory wasn't bad for Irene at all.
The human warmth she had always craved—just feeling that made living together quite enjoyable.
Besides, wasn't he almost the only person in the Brands army who believed in her?
"...I see. Have you come to say your final farewell? I've felt this before, but you truly have a kind side."
She forced a smile.
A somewhat pitiful smile that seemed like it might crumble at any moment.
Nevertheless, she tried not to waver.
She didn't want to burden him with the weight she carried.
She didn't want to trouble the man who had stayed with her all this time because of emotions she should bear alone.
"Swen. The time I spent with you wasn't bad at all. I will never forget it. Make sure you protect the fortress. ...But, if by chance... I don't return to Anel Castle..."
If I don't return to Anel Castle.
As she said those words, her body trembled ever so slightly.
"Feel free to use everything in my house as you wish. There should be some things that would fetch a good price if sold."
From what she had observed over the past few weeks, Swen was an extremely kind and gentle man.
When she was training alone, he would subtly take care of various things for her and often keep her company.
It couldn't have been comfortable living with a superior officer of a different gender, yet he had never once mentioned any discomfort.
Because he was a kind person, she thought he might try to stop her, asking her to apologize to the lord and beg for another chance.
If he tried to dissuade her that way...
She would tell him, regretfully, that she wished he would leave.
Somehow hiding her emotions that seemed about to collapse, she intended to properly say goodbye.
After all, if Swen became deeply involved with her this way.
Then Swen would eventually fall out of Lynn Brands' favor too... and face the same "inevitable fate" as herself.
That couldn't happen. She couldn't let Swen walk the same path as her.
But.
Swen uttered words that Irene hadn't even anticipated.
"What? I don't understand what you mean..."
"...Huh?"
"I'm not leaving. I'm staying here. Since our lord told us to achieve merit, shouldn't we do as she said? Ah, Jack and Sillin left first and asked me to convey their apologies and wish you good fortune."
"What... are you saying?"
Irene asked Swen in shock, her face turning pale.
But he spoke in an extremely calm tone.
"I'm saying that I will stay here and protect the fortress with you, Lady Irene."
"...What?"
Upon hearing those words, Irene's voice... began to tremble.
"Why? Why? Staying at this fortress means..."
Only then did she face the reality of the situation she was in—
She stopped averting her eyes from the truth and spoke it aloud.
"...Staying here means... being abandoned by our lord."
Yes.
She had known it all along.
The fact that her lord Lynn Brands, whom she firmly believed in, had ordered her to "die."
And as soon as she acknowledged that fact—
Cracks began to form in her heart that she had been barely holding together.
"But why... Swen, why would you also stay here..."
"Abandoned? She told us to achieve merit, didn't she? Shouldn't we do as our lord commands?"
"No. I... Swen, if you're doing this out of unnecessary sympathy, stop this foolishness and right now—"
At that moment.
Swen placed his hand on Irene's slightly trembling arm.
She flinched a little but didn't reject his touch.
"Lady Irene. I am not staying here out of sympathy for you."
"...!"
Irene looked into Swen's eyes.
There was no trace of deception.
Far from deception, she could even feel a kind of warmth.
The warm sunshine she had so desperately wanted from her lord but never received—
Ironically, she was feeling it from the subordinate officer standing before her.
If not out of sympathy, why stay here?
Was Swen the type of ambitious subordinate who wanted to impress his lord by any means necessary?
Many ambitious officers would do anything to look good in their lord's eyes.
"But... if you want to achieve merit, there must be safer and more certain paths. No matter how much merit you achieve in a place the lord doesn't expect, far from recognizing it, she might instead—"
"Lady Irene. Forgive me for interrupting."
Swen looked straight into Irene's eyes.
Unlike Irene's wavering gaze, his eyes looking at her were remarkably clear.
"Though I receive my pay from the Brands army... I'll be honest with you. The reason I'm staying here to achieve merit is not for Lady Lynn."
"...What do you...?"
"It's for you, Lady Irene."
"!!!"
Irene's pupils dilated dramatically.
"I want to see the result where Lady Irene protected the fortress, where you achieved merit that everyone would find hard to believe."
"Me protecting the fortress...? Why would you want such a result... what does it have to do with you...?"
Irene was flustered, her eyes trembling with nowhere to settle.
Swen then told her words she would probably never forget for the rest of her life.
"Because the person I want to protect in this country is you, Lady Irene."
"!!!"
"I want to see you succeed spectacularly. I want to witness it firsthand and tell everyone. That everything Irene Juliet said, whom none of you paid attention to, was right. That she accomplished the impossible. Wouldn't that change how they look at us?"
"...Swen."
"So I absolutely cannot leave you behind. I apologize for saying so."
Upon hearing those words, Irene's body trembled violently.
Nevertheless, she somehow maintained her composure.
...If Swen truly stayed behind for her sake rather than Lynn's... she couldn't let him follow her down this path of abandonment.
"...Go back, Swen."
Swen gave no answer.
Irene took several deep breaths slowly... and then barely managed to speak, as if squeezing the words out.
At first, she had clearly intended to urge him to return using refined language.
But before she knew it—
Irene was revealing thoughts from deep within her heart that she had never shared with anyone.
Already half in tears, she barely managed to speak.
"Following me in the Brands army... you won't be able to accomplish anything. Even if you want to burn with passion and prove your loyalty, you can't. No matter how hard you try, no matter how diligently you fan the dying embers in your heart... no one, nothing will acknowledge you. Including our lord, no one. Even if I achieve merit, even if you prove that I was right... no one will acknowledge it. Nothing."
Yes.
She knew it too.
That no matter what she did, she would never be acknowledged.
But that was too miserable to accept.
A life taught only to live for the House of Brands seemed too worthless.
So she averted her eyes. She worked even harder. She endured every humiliating treatment.
But.
Her true feelings, which she had suppressed so deeply, could no longer be hidden in the face of the sincere heart of the man before her, who confronted her without hiding anything.
She wanted to prevent this man from suffering any harm because of her.
"So... Swen, I can't let you become like me... So please, I'm already too exhausted to burn what little flame I have left for this country. I can't help you who wants to help me... If you stay by my side... you'll surely suffer too—"
"Lady Irene."
Swen interrupted her words again, but—
Irene didn't mind.
No, rather... she thought that perhaps she had been waiting her whole life for someone to have this conversation with.
"As I said earlier, I don't particularly want to burn myself for the Brands army. Why would I follow someone who didn't care until your heart's flame was almost extinguished?"
"That's..."
"And your flame hasn't completely gone out yet, has it? That's why you're still trying to overcome this alone, bravely, without causing me any trouble. That's just fine with me. I won't ask you to protect me. Instead."
After saying that, Swen—
Smiled the smile he often showed at his home where they lived together.
"With your remaining embers, brew tea for us to share. From now on, always."
"...!!!"
And.
Starting with tears that finally streamed down her face after being held back for so long.
Everything she had built up inside began to collapse all at once.
"...Hic."
Irene buried her face in Swen's chest.
Swen silently patted her back.
"...I, I..."
It's okay even if no one acknowledges me.
Someday my feelings will reach my lord.
I will continue my father's legacy, become a daughter he would be proud of, and eventually gain recognition from the House of Brands.
The many "lies" that constituted her began to crumble one by one.
It was never okay.
She knew it wouldn't reach her.
She knew they wouldn't acknowledge her.
Only after the armor of lies protecting the female knight Irene was stripped away did the truth emerge.
...She had been lonely.
She was terribly, desperately lonely.
Because of the reality that no one acknowledged her, she was so very, very lonely.
And.
Only after shedding the lies that had been covering her did she realize.
That this man before her was the only one who acknowledged her as she was.
"Uugh... hic, huuk..."
And so Irene cried in Swen's arms for a long time.
Swen comforted her until the end.
After all, there was no one else who would come looking for them.
Thus, they spent a moment simply confirming each other's warmth.
* * *
Time passed.
Swen continued to pat the back of the woman who had stopped crying.
"Are you feeling better now?"
"...Yes."
After shedding all the tears she had been holding back, she felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted from her heart.
Why had she endured and persevered all this time for a goal she knew was impossible to achieve?
After sobbing in this man's arms, she could finally make a somewhat objective judgment.
Irene turned her head slightly to look at Swen, who was patting her back.
He was handsome. Although she didn't particularly value a man's appearance, he was attractive enough to catch her eye.
But what strongly moved her heart at this moment wasn't his handsome appearance.
Kindness. Gentleness.
The strength not to abandon her when she was cornered.
The warmth of his hand still patting her back was too comforting.
When she was abandoned by Lynn Brands, she wondered how she should live from now on.
Perhaps the answer to how she should live wasn't far away at all.
For the first time in her life, she could think with a mind free from the spell of the Brands.
It was an audacious thought she could never have had if he hadn't existed.
"I'm glad you've calmed down."
"Yes."
It was good to unburden her heart and make a fresh start.
But in reality, the situation hadn't changed.
After all, an army of over 30,000 was still marching toward this place at this very moment.
Having regained her senses and assessed the situation, Irene gave Swen a worried look.
"Swen... isn't staying here too dangerous? It might be a bit risky, but I think we should abandon the fortress and flee. If you, Swen, would pledge allegiance to Serphina's army, I would follow you—"
"No."
Swen spoke in a tone that seemed extremely confident.
Thinking about it, she realized he had always been that way.
During the debate with Farfalle, when he insisted that "troops should be sent to the north."
When he said, "We should prepare the soldiers we brought for deployment in advance."
When he boldly stated in front of many people, "Lady Irene's opinion is correct."
And a little while ago... when he told her, "The person I want to protect in this country is you, Lady Irene."
Recalling this, she lowered her head with a flushed face.
Thump, thump.
Through the sound of her rapidly beating heart, Swen's voice reached her.
"Didn't I just tell you, Lady Irene?"
Swen said with a confident smile.
To her, that smile seemed more splendid than anyone else's.
"From now on, it's time to achieve merit."