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The fourth night of Holy Grail War was a sleepless one for the internet.
Small streamers were panicking. Their usual 300 viewers had dwindled to 3. They were googling "how to start a fried rice stall."
Big streamers were sweating. Their usual 100,000 viewers had dropped to 5,000. It was a mass exodus.
The cause? StreamZone's "Seven Tigers" joint stream.
The executives at rival platforms were furious.
"How did StreamZone come up with this?!" a CEO raged, slamming his fist on his mahogany desk. "A Battle Royale with historical figures? A pirate ship fighting a theater? A naked man running from assassins? Why didn't our planning department think of this?! Fire them! Fire everyone!"
Meanwhile, at StreamZone HQ, the boss was grinning so hard his face hurt. He was slapping the back of the project manager, promising bonuses and promotions.
"67 million downloads," the analytics team reported, their eyes glued to the monitors. "One-third of all VR headset owners in the country are watching this right now."
The trending topics were dominated by the chaos:
#PirateVsTheater: Is ramming a building with a ship legal?
#NakedRun: Two streamers caught streaking in a castle ruins!
#LuBu: General Flying General dominates the server with arrows!
#ElephantExplosion: The tragic end of the Chieftain and his pet.
#SonicWeapons: Why Nero and Elizabeth should never sing together.
#FriendlyFire: Monkey snipes his own teammate!
#FactoryLife: Streamer abandons war to tighten screws for 3 hours.
It was a carnival. And the viewers pouring into the streams were met with sights that defied logic.
Streamer: Maverick
[Chat]:
[Help]: BROTHER! USE A COMMAND SPELL! CALL NERO!
[Logic]: Are you dumb? Nero is half-dead somewhere else! If he summons her here, she'll just die!
[Cringe]: Maverick, I don't know you anymore. Everyone else is regrouping, and you're running around with a naked butt.
[Fetish]: Does the streamer have... special hobbies?
[Mod]: User "Maverick's_OnlyFans" has been banned for 12 hours.
Maverick was not having a good time.
Unlike Daisy, who had been washed away to the commercial district, Maverick had been pinned under debris near the castle ruins. When the water receded, he found himself alone with Elizabeth Bathory.
Elizabeth was unconscious, her mana drained from the castle's destruction.
"Great," Maverick muttered, hoisting the dragon-idol onto his back. "I'm a naked ambulance."
He started to run. But he wasn't alone.
High on the tower, Monkey was still watching.
"Target acquired," Monkey grinned, adjusting his scope. "The streaker is back."
BANG.
A bullet kicked up dust right next to Maverick's foot.
"WOAH!" Maverick yelped, dodging to the left.
BANG.
Another bullet chipped the concrete wall near his head.
"Stop shooting!" Maverick screamed at the distant tower. "I'm carrying a wounded idol! Have some decency!"
Monkey laughed. "Decency doesn't get kills."
Maverick zig-zagged through the ruins, carrying Elizabeth piggyback style. He looked ridiculous—a naked man with a pixelated crotch, carrying a girl with dragon horns and a tail.
[Chat]:
[Ship]: New ship unlocked: Maverick x Elizabeth.
[NTR]: Daisy is stealing Nero! Maverick is stealing Elizabeth!
[Swap]: What kind of strange Servant-swapping play is this?!
[Drama]: I just came from Kat's stream. She's flirting with Lu Bu while wearing Kiritsugu's face. It's a miracle she isn't dead yet.
[Investigation]: I need to see that. For... research.
Maverick scrambled over a pile of rubble. He thought he was safe. He thought he had broken the line of sight.
But he forgot about the Assassin.
The little Hundred Faces Hassan (the original one, not a clone) was lurking in the shadows. He had survived the flood by clinging to a gargoyle.
He saw Maverick's exposed rear end.
He saw an opportunity.
SWISH.
A throwing dagger flew through the air.
THWACK.
It embedded itself firmly in Maverick's left buttock.
"OH HO HO HO HO!" Maverick screamed, channeling the spirit of Tom Cat.
He leaped into the air, clutching his butt, nearly dropping Elizabeth.
"MY ASS! I'VE BEEN STABBED IN THE ASS!"
[Chat]:
[LUL]: CRITICAL HIT!
[Pain]: I felt that.
[Assassin]: The Assassin strikes from the shadows! ...And hits the butt.
[Comedy_Gold]: This is peak entertainment.
Elizabeth groaned, waking up from the commotion. She looked around groggily.
"Piggy?" she mumbled. "Why are you screaming like a dying pig?"
"I've been stabbed!" Maverick wheezed, limping forward. "We have to go! Now!"
He dragged himself and the Idol into a sewer tunnel, escaping Monkey's scope and the Assassin's daggers.
"Safe," Maverick gasped, collapsing against the damp wall.
Elizabeth looked at the dagger sticking out of his butt.
"That looks painful," she observed. "Shall I sing a healing song?"
"NO!" Maverick shouted. "No singing! Just... pull it out!"
Elizabeth grabbed the handle.
"Ready?"
"No—AHHHHHH!"
[Chat]:
[Scream]: RIP Maverick's butt.
[Medic]: Someone give him a medkit!
[Update]: Meanwhile, in the factory... Wayne and Panda have finished their 50th robot.
[Contrast]: The duality of man: One gets stabbed in the ass, the other builds Gundams.
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