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Location: Ryuudou Temple (Underground Factory)
"Stop staring!" Edison roared, pacing between the workstations. "If your hands are idle, your wallet is empty! Screw faster!"
Panda sighed, adjusting his yellow hard hat. He held a pneumatic wrench in his hand, looking at the half-assembled torso of a mechanical soldier.
"This is ridiculous," Panda muttered. "I'm a Chieftain. I rode an elephant. Now I'm building robots for a lion."
"Hey," the worker next to him whispered. "You get used to it."
Panda looked over. It was Wayne
They stared at each other. Both were using the default Kiritsugu Emiya avatar. Both looked tired. Both were covered in grease.
"Uh," Panda said. "Wayne? Is that you?"
"Yeah," Wayne nodded, tightening a bolt. "What are you doing here, Panda?"
"I... I think I just got hired?"
"That's good," Wayne said earnestly. "The benefits are great. Eventually."
"What does 'eventually' mean?"
[Chat]:
[LUL]: THEY'RE BONDING!
[Crossover]: The Chieftain and the Factory Worker. The crossover nobody asked for but everyone needed.
[CP]: I ship it. They can be screw-buddies.
[No]: Please never say "screw-buddies" again.
[Reality_Check]: Wayne, wake up! You're in a cult!
Wayne leaned in closer. "Listen, Panda. You're safe here. This entire factory belongs to me and my Servant. Once we build 90,000 more units, we'll have a steel flood."
"90,000?!" Panda choked. "How long will that take?!"
"With overtime? Maybe a week," Wayne estimated. "Then we crush the Archer. I take first place, you take second. Deal?"
"Deal," Panda sighed. He didn't have much choice. His Servant, Darius III, was dead (or so he thought). He was defenseless. Building robots was better than getting sniped by Lu Bu.
"Wait," Panda frowned. "Why don't you use a Command Spell to speed up production? Or summon backup?"
Wayne shook his head. "Bro, Command Spells are just mana batteries. Edison told me. I already gave him two of mine to power the furnace."
Panda stared at him. "You... you gave him your Command Spells?"
"Yeah," Wayne said confidently. "He said it was for the 'Company Growth Fund'."
Panda facepalmed. "Wayne. You got scammed. Command Spells let you force your Servant to do anything. You could have ordered him to win the war instantly."
Wayne paused. His wrench stopped turning.
"Oh," Wayne whispered. "That... makes sense."
Then he shook his head. "Nah. Edison wouldn't lie to me. He's the President. Now come on, let's build a Gundam."
Panda gave up. "Fine. Gundam it is."
Location: Commercial District (Ruins)
While the boys were building robots, the girls were having a different kind of crisis.
Daisy woke up face-down in a puddle of mud.
"Ugh," Daisy groaned, spitting out grit. "I'm alive?"
She looked around. The street was wrecked. Debris from the flood was everywhere.
Lying next to her, looking like a discarded doll, was Nero.
The Emperor was in bad shape. Her red dress was torn to shreds. She was covered in cuts and bruises. Her sword, Aestus Estus, lay a few feet away, its flame extinguished.
"Hey," Daisy whispered, crawling over. "Are you okay?"
Nero's eyes fluttered open. They were dim, lacking their usual fire.
"Cough, cough," Nero wheezed. "Are you... the Master of that lizard girl?"
"Yeah," Daisy nodded. "Elizabeth is... somewhere. I think she got washed away."
"I see," Nero murmured. "My apologies for letting you see me in such a weak state. An Emperor should always be majestic."
She tried to sit up but collapsed back into the mud with a pained gasp.
"Can you... give me some treatment?" Nero asked weakly. "If you can, I would be eternally grateful. I shall grant you a title. Duchess of Mud."
"I don't know healing magic," Daisy said, checking her inventory. "I have a bandage and a half-eaten energy bar."
"Then find me some food," Nero demanded softly. "Or... help me find a bathhouse."
Daisy blinked. "A bathhouse? Again?!"
"Umu!" Nero nodded weakly. "My skin is filthy. My spirit is dampened. I need a hot soak to restore my imperial glory! Find me a bathhouse, peasant!"
"We are in a war zone!" Daisy yelled. "Lu Bu is on the tower with a nuke-launcher! And you want a bath?!"
"Stop talking," Nero commanded, closing her eyes. "Go find me a bath. Or food. Preferably both. Chop chop."
Daisy stared at the delusional, battered Emperor.
"I hate this game," Daisy muttered.
She stood up.
"Fine. I'll find food. But if you die while I'm gone, don't blame me."
Daisy walked off into the ruins, leaving the Emperor to dream of bubbles and rubber ducks.
[Chat]:
[Priorities]: Nero never changes.
[Bath]: SHE STILL WANTS A BATH?!
[Respect]: That's dedication to hygiene.
[Survival]: Daisy, just leave her! Save yourself!
[No]: Save the Emperor! She's the only one who can fight Lu Bu!
As Daisy disappeared around the corner, a shadow fell over Nero.
It wasn't Lu Bu. It wasn't a robot.
It was a small, white dog.
It sniffed Nero's face.
"Shoo," Nero mumbled. "I am not food."
The dog barked.
Suddenly, the ground rumbled.
[SYSTEM NOTIFICATION]
[WARNING: HOSTILE SERVANT DETECTED]
Nero's eyes snapped open. She grabbed her sword.
"Who goes there?"
From the shadows of the alley, a figure emerged. He wore a green cloak and held a small crossbow.
[SERVANT: ARCHER - ROBIN HOOD]
"Found you," Robin Hood whispered. "The Red Saber."
He raised his crossbow.
"Sorry, your majesty. But this is where your curtain falls."
Nero tried to stand, but her legs gave out. She glared at him.
"You dare... strike an Emperor while she is down?"
"I'm a forest hunter," Robin shrugged. "We take the shots we can get."
He pulled the trigger.
THWIP.
A poisoned bolt flew toward Nero's heart.
CLANG.
A spear intercepted the bolt, knocking it out of the air.
Elizabeth Bathory landed in front of Nero, her dragon tail thrashing. She looked battered, covered in mud, but her spirit was unbroken.
"Hey!" Elizabeth shouted. "Nobody kills my rival but me! And especially not while she's asking for a bath!"
Robin Hood sighed. "Great. Two divas. Just my luck."
[Chat]:
[Save]: LIZ SAVED HER!
[Rivalry]: True rivals protect each other!
[Idols]: The Idol Alliance is back!
[Robin]: Run, Robin! You can't handle the cringe!
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