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"Teacher Pu is a true professional. Got chopped sixty thousand times and didn't make a sound."
"Who says he didn't?"
"Teacher Pu — could you recreate that for us?"
[Chat]: OH
[Chat]: OH NO
[Farmer_Spirit]: my farming spirit is awakening
Even through the stream, the chat could feel the reverberations from Teacher Pu's side. He was more famous than Maverick in certain circles, which made everything about tonight's lineup significantly more interesting.
"If it's really too much," Maverick said carefully, "we don't have to do this. You should probably see a doctor first."
"I WASN'T CHOPPED. These people are spreading rumors. If I'd been chopped sixty thousand times, would I still be alive?!"
[Chat]: LOL
[Donation]: ["Maverick_Taste_My_Sparrow" sent 1 Rocket!]
"Thank you to — that username — boss. Thank you. Let's get the mics connected and start."
The original plan had been a classic four-male, three-female lineup: Maverick, Teacher Pu, Monkey, and Wei on the male side; Dai, Zhou, and Tuan on the female side. The latter two had run into problems — one temporarily banned from streaming, the other in a situation considerably more permanent. The platform had filled the gaps with a newer streamer named Little Cat, and on the male side, a technical streamer named David Chen who'd been building momentum through game analysis content. Seven total.
Mics connected. Chaos immediately.
Maverick confirmed everyone was ready and initiated the Link Start.
The snowy church exterior loaded. Maverick had seen this opening enough times that it was becoming unremarkable. He didn't pause. 5x acceleration, through the main door, straight at the elder.
The white-haired elder looked up.
"You are—"
"Don't. I have a Holy Relic. Spell scroll. I'll take the second option."
The church offered three choices at the start: bring your own Holy Relic for an on-site summon, take a spell scroll to draw your own circle anywhere, or bring no Servant at all and run the entire war solo on Master-only mode — the high-difficulty option. Maverick had tried all three, mostly by accident, and had developed strong opinions about each one. The scroll was efficient. The elder, facing someone who knew exactly what he wanted, tossed it over without comment and turned back to the church.
Maverick caught it and kicked through the door.
[Chat]: Maverick has grown
[Chat]: he walked in like he owned the place
[Noting]: he used to die to that statue every other run
[Proud]: as his fans, we are relieved
[Gacha_Comment]: please just summon Artoria. we haven't seen Artoria in a while.
[Counter]: Maverick can't afford to lose face. other Streamers are watching tonight.
[Realistic]: Maverick's luck is terrible. he either gets Jason or Gilles de Rais or Diarmuid. last session he got someone called Sugitani — I have never heard of Sugitani. apparently he's viable in Japan specifically because of local terrain buffs, but nowhere else.
[Hope]: please Artoria. just Artoria.
Maverick, for his part, was not reading the chat. He found a quiet residential street, broke into a convenient house, set the circle, and recited the summoning incantation.
Blue light. Smoke. The mist cleared.
[Chat]: ...
[Chat]: wait
[Chat]: IS THAT
"Umu! Are you my Master?!"
[Chat]: RED ARTORIA
[Chat]: SHE IS SO—
[Chat]: that is NOT Artoria
[Identifying]: that is Nero Claudius Caesar Augustus Germanicus. Emperor of Rome.
[Counter]: she looks exactly like Artoria
[Lore]: different eye color. Artoria is cyan-blue, Nero is light green. completely different person. also a Roman emperor. also considerably more — generously proportioned than Artoria.
[Artoria_Fan]: ARTORIA IS FURIOUS
[Mordred_Question]: is Mordred in the pool? because if Mordred is female in this adaptation—
[Answering]: Mordred is canonically female here. yes. she's in the pool.
[Counting]: Saber Artoria, Lancer Artoria, Archer Artoria, Swimsuit Artoria, now Red Artoria. how many Artorias are there.
[Honest]: the author has consistent preferences.
[Platform_Betting]: GUESSING GAME — Maverick 1:1, Dai 1:1.9, Teacher Pu 2.1
[Shocked]: Teacher Pu at 2.1. that is a statement about expected performance.
Maverick looked at Nero. Nero looked at him with the expression of someone who had already assessed the situation and was waiting for him to understand it.
"Are you... Artoria?"
[Chat]: MAVERICK NO
[Chat]: MAVERICK DON'T
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