When his phone chimed while he was still searching the room for heating cream that could treat Nainai's legs. Zhan felt something jolt painfully against his chest.... almost like fear....but when he picked it up, he saw it was an unfamiliar number. He answered, and a woman greeted him politely.
She explained that she was Aunty Weizo's younger sister and that she had gotten his number from her. She said she needed the contact of the woman who sold the special spices he had mentioned.....the kind she could buy from.
Before she even finished explaining, Zhan already understood what she meant. Before leaving the house, he had give out Mrs. Ghaleetk's number....the woman who sold those spices....at least ten times. Anyone who tasted that meat pie and enjoyed it always asked what had been added to it. And since taste never lies, people kept insisting until they got the number. That was why Zhan had memorized it. Without hesitation, he read the number out to her.
She thanked him repeatedly, they exchanged goodbyes, and she ended the call.
"Did you see it?"
Nainai asked from where she was sitting, watching him closely.
Zhan shook his head.
"Honestly, Nainai, I didn't see it. If the driver is around, I'll just call and ask him to bring another for you."
"That's why I kept it hiding," Nainai said. "It's been so long since i last saw to it....I knew finding it would take luck. And that driver better be back from his travel."
Despite the heaviness in his chest and the frustration of everything that had happened that day, Nainai's words made Zhan laugh.
"Oh Nainai, you're telling someone not to stay in his own hometown? If you had just helped and match him with Noni some time back when all he was talking about was liking her, maybe even if he had gone, he wouldn't have been so....."
He didn't get to finish before Noni walked in and cut him off. Without thinking, Zhan stood up and headed toward the bedroom, laughing.
"Where are you going? I hear you. And since when was you even part of that discussion?"
Noni said as she entered.
Zhan stopped at the doorway, laughing, knowing she was deliberately teasing him. Years ago, the driver had stubbornly insisted that they should be marry. Noni had firmly denied knowing anything about it because she simply didn't like him. Even Uncle Elder had gotten involved. When Noni ran out of excuses, she finally claimed she wanted to remain as she was and had no intention of marrying again. In the end, everyone had no choice but to drop the matter.
"You see him?"
Nainai said with a chuckle.
"Whenever he wants to tease you, you'll never knew he's the same Zhan."
Noni then handed him a large iron tray filled with hot charcoal she had been carrying.
"Take this. There's some leftover hot charcoal, so I thought I'd bring it. Maybe you'll burn incense with it....before it finish like this."
"Honestly, even yesterday we were busy, and I didn't get the chance to bun the incense," Zhan said as he accepted it.
He brought out their coil burner, scooped some charcoal into it, returned the rest to Noni, and she sat beside Nainai as they chatted with Bai injured hands, Noni once again expressed sympathy over what had happened.
From the incense he had bought, Zhan opened a bottle he had never tried before and sprinkled some onto the charcoal. The moment the scent reached his nose, he leaned closer into the smoke, just to be sure of what he was sensing.
A cool, pleasant fragrance flowed through Zhan instantly, spreading all the way to his head. As the smoke drifted into the living room, Noni called out to him.
"You know my grandchild's wedding is coming up. These incense scents you're burning....I don't recognize them. Can I buy some? I'd like to contribute something but afraid it might be too expensive."
"They're not expensive, Noni. You won't have trouble buying them."
"Well, what I'm smelling feels like the house of wealthy people....that's why I was worried about the price."
"They just look fancy, that's all. There's nothing expensive about them. I'll have the ones I like brought for you."
With that, Noni said her goodbyes and went downstairs. Nainai waved her off and told Zhan to let them rest there, since Bai had finally relaxed enough to stretch out and fall asleep.
So Zhan put everything in order and left the lamp on, planning that Nainai would switch it off when she finished what she was doing.
It was 9:23 p.m., just seven minutes to nine-thirty, and Zhan kept checking the time....everything he did, his eyes drifted back to the clock.
When he entered the bedroom, the scent of the incense hit his nose again. Instead of calming him, it only seemed to make the heaviness in his chest worse. He went to pull back the curtain he had closed earlier for the incense. There was no storm outside, but because it had rained for two days straight, the wind blowing in was cool and damp.
He changed into light sleepwear....loose trousers and a thin, short-sleeved shirt, since he planned to wrap himself up anyway. He pulled a cap over his head and climbed onto the bed, which he would be sleeping on alone tonight. Since Bai will sleep in the living room with Nainai. The bed suddenly felt too big, the room too empty, as if he were the only one in it. But the moment he remembered what awaited him, the space seemed to shrink instantly.
He turned on his phone data quietly and checked the time....two minutes left. He opened WeChat; messages, especially from group chats, poured in. He ignored them until they stopped, then slowly scrolled down. He found Dr. Yibo's name and tapped into the chat. At the same time, his eyes caught the detail that Yibo wasn't online....according to the status, he hadn't been active for almost three hours.
Zhan checked the time again. Exactly 9:30 p.m.
Maybe he hadn't logged in yet, he thought. Yibo had said earlier that he might be late. So Zhan stayed in the chat, staring at the screen.
9:32… 9:33… 9:34…
9:37… 9:40…
He began scrolling through their earlier messages, rereading them, growing more puzzled by the minute. A strange thought even crossed his mind....what if it wasn't really Dr Yibo he'd been chatting with before? What if someone else had taken his phone? The idea followed him all the way until the time crept toward ten. When he noticed it was almost ten o'clock, and still no "online" sign, he exited the chat and started replying to other messages instead.
By the time it was 10:10 p.m., he noticed the living room light switch off....clearly Nainai had gone to bed. Zhan returned to Yibo's chat once more. The "last seen" was still the same as earlier. His heart began whispering doubts to him....maybe he was just fooling himself. Maybe Dr. Yibo had simply forgotten, busy with his own affairs, while he sat here waiting. He exited the chat again, about to turn off his data, then paused.
If Dr Yibo came online, how would he know he had been waiting if he hadn't even said hello?
So he left the data on.
His eyes remained fixed on the phone as sleep slowly crept up on him. He was already exhausted. He curled deeper under the blanket, the scent of the burning incense clinging even to the fabric.
Gradually, Zhan drifted into sleep, halfway slipping into that hazy world where consciousness floats. So when his phone began vibrating beside him, he was half awake and half elsewhere. His hand reached for the phone automatically, without even checking who was calling.
"Zhan…"
Yibo's voice came through immediately. He was standing on the balcony of a private hospital at the time.
"Mmm…"
Zhan murmured, his voice low and heavy with sleep.
"Were you already asleep?"
Yibo asked, watching dark clouds gather above as lightning briefly split the sky.
"Mmm…"
"I'm sorry I woke you. There was a small incident with a patient, and I had to be here. That's why I stepped out."
"Okay,"
Zhan replied softly.
Yibo could tell he was barely awake, probably not even fully registering what was being said. Still, he didn't want to end the call. He leaned back against the balcony wall and asked gently,
"Did you wait long for me, Zhan?"
"I waited… I kept watching the time, Yibo-ge…"
The answer slipped out unfiltered, thick with sleep, and the sound of it hit Yibo straight in the chest. He lifted one hand to rub the back of his neck, and before he realized it, a small smile tugged at his lips. He nodded once.
"I'm sorry about that."
Zhan didn't respond. Yibo rubbed his neck again and called his name softly.
"Mmm…"
Zhan's voice was even quieter now, making Yibo flex his long toes inside his shoes.
"I'll tell you tomorrow what kept me busy."
"We'll talk tomorrow, Yibo-ge?"
Yibo nodded, even though Zhan couldn't see him.
"Yes. I'll call you in the morning."
Zhan said nothing.
"Okay?" Yibo added.
"Mmm…"
Then, in a sleepy mumble, Zhan said,
"I'll tell you something too… tomorrow."
Yibo nodded again, twice this time.
Silence stretched between them. Yibo wondered if Zhan even realized what he'd said or if he was fully asleep now. After a moment, he spoke again, softly.
But Zhan didn't reply. All Yibo could hear was the slow, steady sound of his breathing through the phone, drifting in and out of his ear.
He couldn't bring himself to end the call.
So he stayed there, listening, eyes lifted to the sky as lightning continued to flash through the thick darkness that had swallowed the night whole.
How do I confess....whether this is passion or a mistake? —Yibo
~ * * * ~
"I hope you're okay."
Even if Zhan heard him, this time he didn't reply. All Yibo could hear was Zhan's slow, steady breathing in his ear....one breath after another, passing quietly. He couldn't bring himself to end the call. He just stood there listening, his eyes fixed on the flashes of lightning that kept tearing through the darkness as storm clouds swallowed the sky.
He didn't know what he felt. Truly, he didn't know what he felt about Zhan. He only knew that whatever it was had begun the day he saw those tears. The feelings was new....so new he hadn't even known such a thing existed.
After nearly a minute of standing there with the phone pressed to his ear, listening to silence, he finally ended the call. He turned and looked toward the hospital entrance, unsure whether to go back inside or leave.
Najashi had been in an accident. A car had splashed through the road and knocked him off his bicycle. The driver fled, and no one among the crowd knew how to get him to a hospital. Someone found Najashi's phone and called Dr. Yibo....Najashi had no family in the city, just people like him who had come looking for work.
Yibo hadn't planned to step out at all. The call....dragged something back into his mind, something he didn't want to remember. This night mirrored another night: the night he'd lost his twin brother in his arms. Everything felt the same. His phone had rung while he stood in a hospital corridor, just like now. The message then had been one he could never erase from his memory....so much like the call about Najashi...that he'd answered, hung up, and then been called again and again, until he finally realized no one else was taking him to the hospital. He'd changed his clothes and gone.
When he reached the scene, he saw Najashi by the roadside, surrounded by people.... and he couldn't even step out of his car. He wasn't sure his heart wouldn't give out if he did.
Still seated, he called again. After Najashi was helped into the car, Yibo begged one of the bystanders to accompany them to the hospital; he didn't trust himself to handle everything alone. They brought Najashi there, where it was confirmed his leg was broken. Everything took time.....procedures, paperwork, a room assignment.
Through it all, Yibo kept checking the time, thinking it wouldn't be long before he could go home and call Zhan. He hadn't realized how late it had gotten until it was already past eleven. That was when he stepped outside to make the call.
He could have simply said goodbye to Najashi and left....everything that required payment or authorization was already done. But he couldn't make himself go back inside, not with everything churning inside him.
✨✨✨
9:30 a.m.
"Hello…"
Zhan's voice answered in his ear at exactly half past nine the next morning. It was softer than usual.
Yibo adjusted his position slowly. He was sitting on a chair in his living room, wearing only the shorts and sleeveless shirt he'd slept in. He didn't even feel the cool air drifting in through the wide-open windows.
One leg was tucked up on the chair, the other resting on the floor. In front of him lay several thick medical textbooks....the kind he always turned to when sleep refused to come, or when his thoughts threatened to spiral.
Beside them, empty bottles of Nangfu Spring water littered the floor....six of them drained dry. A seventh stood half-full among the books, while the remaining five were lined up on a small stool by the chair, waiting their turn.
He'd been watching the clock since dawn, calculating when it would be right to call Zhan. The thought of him had filled his chest through the night....far more intensely than the worry over Zhan's job, or even the effort to clear his name. What he felt now was different. It wouldn't ease until he heard Zhan's voice again.
So he had no idea how many times he checked the clock before the half-past-nine he'd decided was right. His thinking was simple: if last night had slipped away, then he would at least keep today's promise. Besides, he was sure Zhan would have been awake for a while by now. That was why, when he heard his voice, he lifted the phone again to double-check the time before answering.
"I'm sorry....did I wake you?"
he asked after the initial hello.
"No, I've been awake for a while. Good morning."
"Did you sleep well?"
Yibo asked instead of replying, lowering one foot onto the soft living-room carpet spread across the floor....so rarely stepped on that it still looked new.
"Yes, thank you."
Zhan's voice came again, sounding slightly different. For a moment, Yibo almost asked if something was wrong, but he decided to start with what mattered most. He rested one hand behind his neck, fingers sliding into his hair, before saying,
"I'm sorry about yesterday. Forgive me for calling when you'd already fallen asleep."
Silence followed. Then Zhan's voice came back.
"Yesterday…!"
Yibo couldn't tell if it was a question or simply a repetition....the tone carried a hint of surprise, maybe uncertainty.
"I called you late last night, remember?"
He said it to ease whatever confusion Zhan might be feeling. To his surprise, Zhan simply said,
"I'm coming."
Then....click. The call ended.
Zhan's fingers trembled as he opened his call log, wanting to be sure.
What he saw wasn't what he'd expected at all. There it was: Dr. Yibo's name, with a call placed at eleven-something the previous night. Only then did a faint realization surface.... he must have answered without remembering it.
He wished there were another word for what happened when he spoke while half-asleep. Calling it "sleep-talking" felt childish, but no matter how he tried to explain it, that was exactly what it was.
He knew himself. He'd always been like that. There was even the night Nainai had been struck by severe stomach pain while Aunty Shui was still unmarried and staying with them. Everyone had rushed around in panic, carrying Nainai out to the hospital....but Zhan hadn't known that he himself had lifted her and carried her downstairs. He'd done it all while asleep.
That morning, he remembered lying there the night before, waiting for Yibo's call until sleep finally claimed him. When he woke up, he assumed nothing had happened. He told himself he'd imagined it....that he'd foolishly let his heart believe Yibo would value that promise as much as he did. In Yibo's life, surely there were countless things more important, enough to make him forget what he'd said so easily.
So when he woke, he pushed the thought aside and focused on chores instead. He spent the morning tending to Bai, whose hand had swollen even more overnight from the fracture and who kept complaining about the pain....something that upset Nainai deeply, prompting her to insist that the matter was serious and needed real action.
Around eight, Aunty Hsiao arrived with Mama Taichen to check on Bai. But Aunty Hsiao barely glanced at the injury; instead, she launched into saying Bai was at fault for hitting Nie first, as if nothing else mattered.
Zhan nearly lost his temper. It almost turned into a full argument.
Nainai tried to silence things, but Aunty Hsiao continued speaking harshly until Mama Taichen finally rebuked her. Still, the damage was done. Zhan felt something stir inside him....old feelings he'd long kept buried.
Thoughts crowded in: if life had granted them the comfort of living peacefully with their parents like so many others he saw, perhaps he wouldn't feel this constant weight in his chest now. A feeling he'd known for as long as he could remember.....since the day he last looked at his mother, and the day he first looked at Nainai.
He was with her every day, always. And no matter how many years passed, the weight in his heart never lessened. Each time he moved, it felt as fresh as the day it began. Nainai loved them deeply; he knew that. But whenever he imagined a future where fate might take her away, he couldn't see a solid place for himself and his brother to stand.
No matter how much they felt like they belonged, Zhan knew many of the good things in their lives existed only because of Nainai. If she were gone, even staying among their Uncle's' homes would come with a bitterness they'd never known before. Even now, while Nainai was alive, there were places they couldn't comfortably stay overnight.
Uncle Elder's wife, for instance, hated sharing her space....especially when it meant her children wouldn't be the sole focus. That was why, no matter how carefully things were planned with Fufei, Zhan rarely felt at ease going there; discomfort always showed on her face the moment they arrived.
Uncle Ruobing's house wasn't really an option at all. Even though it looked fairly big, it only had two bedrooms. Part of it that used to belong to Mr. Min Ghao....originally a single compound. After some years, a section of the yard had been partitioned to build rooms for Loazu and the others when they grew older. They moved out of a tiny room inside, which was then turned into a storage space.
As for Uncle Nanjing, he didn't even count. His wife didn't get along well with Nainai at all, so how could she possibly agree to take in the two of them....basically outsiders with nothing? Even Bai, who used to beg to visit Nanjing when he was younger, lost all interest after the one time he went there with Fan Uncle Ruobing's daughter. What Zhan understood from that trip was simple: their way of life was nothing like his own.
Uncle Sanxing was the only one Zhan could even consider. His wife, Aunty Weizo, was genuinely kind and fond of them. Still, Zhan knew that he and Bai were already too grown to be living under another man's roof, shoulder to shoulder with his wife....who was only slightly older than Zhan himself.
Aunty Shui wasn't an option either; living in her husband's house was out of the question. So Zhan knew there was really just one reality: they would continue staying in Nainai's room for as long as time allowed. And if that ever changed, it would be like throwing a goat seasoned with salt straight into a hyena's den. He was certain Aunty Hsiao would never let them live in peace. Worse, she might even scheme against them openly once Nainai was no longer there to shield them, even without saying a word.
That was why Zhan's thoughts became completely tangled. His mind drifted toward a dangerous possibility....maybe it was time to look for their father. They were grown now. Perhaps the things they had once been protected from would no longer affect them the same way. What they truly needed was the shelter and authority that came with a father's name.
But almost immediately, another part of his mind challenged him. Was that really a sensible thought? Was it right to seek out a man who, for sixteen years, had never once looked back at them? Not once remembered that he had children in this world?
Tas. Tas. Tas.
"Get out of here, you useless thing…"
Zhan remembered the words clearly, spoken just before the man flicked away the cigarette in his mouth. He hadn't even walked away.... he'd stayed right there, watching. Their father had walked in on their mother oiling Zhan's hair, and when she asked where he'd been for the past two nights, the beating followed. It wasn't the first time. It wouldn't be the last.
On the day their died, Xiao Die had beaten her body without even realizing she was already gone.
All those memories collided at once, overwhelming Zhan completely. So when his phone rang while he was sweeping the room....after Bai had gone to take a bath....and he saw Dr. Yibo's name on the screen, the familiar feeling that usually stirred in his chest didn't come at all. As the saying went, heavy footsteps dull the ground beneath them.
He sat on the edge of the bed and answered the call.
Dr. Yibo said he had called the night before, when Zhan had already fallen asleep. That alone was enough to throw Zhan into confusion. If it was true....if Dr Yibo had really called and he had answered in his sleep.....then that was it. The damage was done. He had embarrassed himself in front of the very last person he ever wanted to feel ashamed before. Whatever he might have said or done, he couldn't deny it now. He had no defense.
And there it was....the proof, staring back at him from the call log.
In that moment, frustration and embarrassment washed over Zhan together. Before he could even decide what to do, the phone rang again in his hand. He looked at the number....it was Dr Yibo, calling back.
His palm warmed instantly. Unsure what else to do, he answered and raised the phone to his ear.
"Where did you go?"
Yibo's voice reached him immediately. Zhan swallowed hard before replying.
"Yes…?"
"You said you were coming. Where did you go?"
Zhan shook his head, even though Yibo couldn't see him.
"I didn't go anywhere. I was just checking my call log."
"You didn't know I called you?"
He shook his head again.
"I didn't know. I really didn't know you called… I'm sorry if I said anything wrong....."
"Zhan…"
Dr. Yibo cut in gently.
"You were very sleepy. But you didn't say anything wrong."
Zhan nodded to himself, as if Yibo were standing right in front of him. A quiet relief settled in his chest.
"You only said you wanted to tell me something."
"Something?"
"Yes. I said I'd tell you why you couldn't hear from me, and you said you also had something to tell me."
Zhan nodded again, acknowledging it.
"Najashi.... the boy who helps me at home....had an accident. They called me to take him to the hospital."
Zhan nodded, then remembered Yibo couldn't see him.
"I hope he's okay."
"Yes. That's why I called so late. I'm sorry."
"It's fine. I hope he recovers quickly."
Then Dr. Yibo asked,
"Can we keep talking? I mean, are you busy?"
Zhan glanced at the broom in his hand and shook his head.
"No, I'm not doing anything."
"Okay. I hope you haven't forgotten what we promised to talk about."
In that moment, Zhan forgot all the weight pressing on him. He nodded and replied softly.
As Dr. Yibo's voice continued...calm, unhurried, almost as if he were reclining somewhere....Zhan let go of the broom and sat back on the bed, pulling his legs up beneath him. He listened as Yibo carefully explained the things he'd brought him, just as he'd promised, breaking them down in detail, giving examples of how they had helped him too. He explained, paused to ask if Zhan understood, then continued.
It felt so real that Zhan almost forgot they were on the phone. It was as if Yibo were standing in front of him again, back at the hospital....explaining notes, pausing for questions, or glancing up from attending to patients. He remembered how he would sometimes step closer and look at stitches or wounds, to confirm what he was explaining.
How Yibo would stand beside him, always holding a water bottle, never quite realizing how much that closeness meant.
Even when Bai came out of the bathroom and Noni stepped in to help him put on a shirt before taking him out, no one interrupted him. Noni said just one thing to Zhan, then stopped when she saw he was on a call.
"Thank you. Truly, thank you so much,"
Zhan said sincerely, after promising he would make use of everything.
"I'm traveling tomorrow, Zhan…"
The words caught him off guard.
"Traveling…?"
"Yes. I'm going to Hong Kong tomorrow. There's a surgery I need to perform there."
Zhan was quiet for a moment before replying.
"I hope everything goes well."
Yibo let out something like a small smile before saying,
"You always say the right things."
Zhan said nothing, absentmindedly playing with the hem of his shirt. Then he heard Yibo call his name again, very softly.
"Zhan…"
"Yes…"
"Can I call you tomorrow?"
Zhan swallowed before answering.
"Yes."
"Then you'll tell me what you mentioned yesterday."
He shook his head lightly.
"I don't even remember saying that."
"Don't worry," Yibo interrupted gently. "I know what I want to ask you. Just be ready, okay?"
Zhan nodded silently.
"I'll call you from Hong Kong."
Yibo said, and the call ended in Zhan's ear.
NB
I wish all the people celebrating Xmas 🎄 a happy one in advance, please enjoy and come back to me on Monday 29 December 2025. See you then, I will take the chance to rest for a few days. 😀 Love you all. 💋💕💕💕
Tues, 23 Dec.
2025
Zhanxianyibo💚❤️💛