Chapter 22
I kept running with no particular destination in mind, I just wanted to get away from Lust and these feelings that won't go away but no matter how fast or how far I ran, I still couldn't get the thought of him out of my system.
What exactly has he done to me?
What type of spell is this?
Why am I so drawn to him that no matter how much he had hurt me, I can't bring myself to dislike him, instead my feelings magnified in intensity.
I've never denied the pull, never denied the attraction, never denied my feelings and affection but at this moment I wish I could just deny them, maybe they'll disappear and I will gladly loose feelings if I pretend they aren't there but an invisible string is already connecting us in ways none of us could understand.
Sayiel had claimed he travelled and won't be coming back, so how come he's back so soon and at this time that I'm trying to move on and maybe get a chance at happiness.
I stopped to take a deep breath and looked around realising that I'm at the abandoned school site, the one under construction, the popular site for fights and frat wars.
"Ashton right?".
I shook, startled. I looked around frantically searching for the source of the voice but saw no one.
"Stop looking, you won't see me because my location is different". The female voice said.
"What do you want?". I mustered up the courage to ask but instead of a reply, I heard laughter.
"I'm here to help you". The voice conveyed in a sing song tone.
"I don't need helping". I dismissed, creeped out.
She chuckled knowingly,"I'm sure you do".
"About what exactly?". I asked, absolutely petrified.
"About your feelings". The words echoed loudly even after her voice had died down.
What is this strange woman spurting?"What do you mean?".
She immediately began,"You think your feelings for Samiel is love and it is making you to worry but I'm here to assure you that you're just overthinking it. The feelings is mutual between the both of you but it's not love or likeness, it's nothing but unquenched lust. You don't love Samiel, you're merely craving for his body and because of the fact that, that craving haven't been satisfied, it'll grow in intensity giving you the illusion of true love.
Nobody knows Samiel more than me and I can assure you that he doesn't love you, he's just obsessed over the fact that he haven't had you yet but you don't need to worry about that cause the feeling is mutual, you're just confusing lust for love because you don't have any experience and also there's nothing like real love, it's just a theory conjured out of nowhere to fool the likes of you".
I stayed silent but the voice continued unperturbed,"There's a way for you to free yourself from this burden and put a stop to this obsession".
My ear perked up, interest piqued.
I had once upon a time cherished whatever I was feeling for Samiel. I had wanted to keep feeling like that forever, even if forever sounds like such a long time. I couldn't stop the feeling and I didn't want to stop it either, so I let it consume me.
I had always thought that Lust was worth it all, I still think so, especially when he looks at me like I'm some sort of treasure that he wants to keep all to himself.
He is constantly alternating between hot and cold, one moment he's all over me, the next he's pushing me away. His mouth says one thing but his eyes shows something else.
I don't know what to do anymore.
I love him but I don't think I can do this anymore.
"How?". The words slipped out of my mouth without permission but I didn't take it back, I can't take it back. I have to know, I need to know how to break whatever spell he has casted on me.
"Sleep with him".
The forbidden words felt like some sort of sentence.
My breath hitched at the implication,"Sorry?".
Does she even know what she's saying?
If I should have a taste of him, touch him or feel him, I will never let him go.
I'm still rational enough because I don't know what he tastes like yet. If I should find out, I'll never part with him.
"You heard me, sleep with him and satisfy your lust and trust me, the feelings will vanish like a smoke". She assured me and I shuddered at the image of lust naked, his ass arched perfectly towards me, his stomach pressed firmly against the soft mattress while I sunk into him with my raging erection. His tightness engulfing me.
I couldn't deny that I wanted to do what she suggested more than anything not because I want to get rid of my feelings but because I just need to feel him.
I will think of the consequences later. I'm tired of always thinking about the consequences of my actions before implementing them, making me hesitate and loose countless opportunities. It can't be helped that I'm indecisive as hell.
"Try it and thank me later unless you want to be bound to him forever without the freedom to explore and accumulate experience".
I waited for a good ten minutes but I didn't hear the voice again. Must have left.
I thought about it and even though I knew within me that I wouldn't mind being bound to him, I don't know if it's the same for him. I wouldn't subject anyone to that type of torture if they're unwilling.
I can't face him today, not after embarrassing myself earlier by running away. He probably thinks I'm afraid of him.
Sayiel will definitely think I still have feelings for his brother. What's worse is that I can't even deny it.
It's the simple truth.