According to the scientific articles I encountered during my aimless browsing of random forums of absolutely different orientations, the significance of a "kiss" is highly valued in almost all world cultures. In some places, it is an expression of affection, in another, a way to pass on "soul to soul," and in a third, it is the romanticization of the process of mouth-to-mouth feeding.
However, one shouldn't forget the partners' reaction to the act of expressing feelings itself. If memory serves, one study, dated two thousand thirteen, states that the "first kiss" and the subsequent reaction help choose a potential spouse. If you liked it, you are compatible. Did it cause rejection? A reason to reconsider whether the chosen person is right for you. I just don't remember if, for the experiment, they forced complete strangers to exchange kisses and then compelled them to enter a relationship, or if they limited themselves to an innocent survey? Despite the logic of the second option, the first somehow seems entirely plausible...
Haruno slowly pulled away, staring intently into my eyes.
Blinking a couple of times, I tried to focus my sight on her — the picture refused to become somewhat clear. Just as my heart refused to slow down its beating for even a second.
— I'm red right now, aren't I?
The girl raised an eyebrow.
— Kami, Hachiman, that's what you're worried about at a moment like this? — I could hear clear relief in her voice, mixed with some feeling previously unknown to me. In the sense that I understood its approximate direction, but I wasn't able to precisely identify it.
In any case, I need to get back in the "game." There are several options: try to repeat the unexpectedly pleasant experience, as my body itself demanded further intimacy, become embarrassed, covering my face with my palms and adopting the posture of a water strider, or somehow reduce everything to my usual sarcasm and irony.
The choice was utterly obvious.
— I agree, it sounds strange, but... — after a short pause, I touched my finger to my carotid artery, trying to feel my pulse. — Did you know that an excessively increased heart rate leads to impaired oxygen delivery to the heart muscle itself, which carries the risk of losing consciousness?
Yukinoshita, who was carefully observing my actions, frowned, then looked up as if calculating something, and finally, reaching a conclusion, cautiously asked:
— Are you trying to say that the kiss spun your head so much that you're afraid of fainting? — she was barely suppressing laughter.
— Technically speaking, it disrupted the work of the heart muscle, — I corrected her automatically, still being in a state of daze.
A couple of seconds later, Haruno, failing to maintain control, burst into a ringing laugh.
Okay, phase one is complete; moving on to the next. Considering the way she glanced at the clock, the desire to waste time at the station for the next twenty minutes hadn't appeared. Consequently, I'll cut out all the excess and dive straight to the point.
— Jokes aside, what was that for?
The girl widened her eyes innocently.
— You didn't like it after all?
— That's a silly question, — I slightly raised the corners of my lips. — I definitely liked it.
So much so that a wild idea to take the initiative myself is still spinning in my head, along with the clear realization that there is neither time nor opportunity for it now.
— Then just accept it as a fact, — Haruno smirked, clearly pleased with the result.
She barely perceptibly poked me in the chest with her finger, looking into my eyes.
— When you figure out the answer, you know how to find me, — the student said unexpectedly quietly.
— The answer? — here I was truly surprised. — What are you talking about?
She was so close that my gaze involuntarily fell upon her lips.
Kami, Hachiman, get a grip! Even if you are a teenager with raging hormones, are you going to forget your celebrated rationality because of one measly kiss?!
Though, it wasn't measly; it was very pleasant...
— Think about it, — gently pushing my chest, causing me to involuntarily step back, Haruno winked, blew a kiss, and without wasting time, hurried onto the platform, leaving me in proud solitude in the middle of the street.
Watching her leave, I made sure Yukinoshita wasn't planning to return, and I tilted my head back, letting out a long and drawn-out groan.
What answer? Okay, forget the answer, what is the question? Why me, after all?
The number of riddles continued to pile up, and not a single suitable answer came to mind.
Well, almost none, because I was absolutely certain of one thing.
This girl is definitely going to drive me crazy someday.
***
Winston Churchill said: "The best way to destroy a relationship is to start defining it." On the one hand, he is right in a way, because sometimes it's better not to know all the partner's motives; it will be easier to sleep. On the other hand, is there a better way to deal with accumulated grievances than to engage in a full-fledged dialogue? After all, when the amount of bewilderment begins to exceed all acceptable limits, there is a very real chance of losing any hint of a connection with the person. Considering that most everyday quarrels and drama are born out of simple misunderstandings, I still believe that...
— Hachiman.
Cutting off the structured thread of my thoughts, I barely refrained from an irritated sigh.
— Yes, a wonderful name, what's next? — I glanced sideways at Miura, who had decided to interrupt my routine session of self-reflection.
The girl, twitching the corner of her lip in displeasure, put one foot forward, crossing her arms under her chest.
— Why so gloomy? Another hangover bothering you? — she didn't hide the sarcasm in her voice, looking down at me.
Turning my head while still lying on the desk, I tried to convey with my eyes my entire attitude toward her incredibly "clever" provocation. Of course, she has no other ways to tease me, not counting the already outdated attempts to set me up with Doggy.
— That won't work, — Yumiko snorted, her face unchanged.
— Too bad, — I clicked my tongue. — There was a time when you almost ran away just by making eye contact with me.
Clear irritation flashed in the girl's eyes. Right, no one likes to remember their shameful moments in life. And the classmate standing in front of me is far from an exception to the rule.
— People change, — the blonde replied, turning her attention to her own nails.
— An incredible conclusion, — because of one overly "mysterious" person, I hadn't managed to get enough sleep, and as a result, despite my attempts to control it, generous portions of sarcasm kept bursting out.
— Kami... — Miura grimaced, rolling her eyes.
— No, I am not going to change my habits to please those around me, — I said without waiting for her to finish her sentence.
Judging by her surprised expression, I hit the nail on the head, guessing her train of thought. However, I don't see any difficulty in predicting her next question.
— Yes, you are far from the first person to try to pin that sin on me. If memory serves... — straightening up, I stretched until my back cracked. — The third or fourth in the last few days.
Recovering quickly from the "blow," Miura snorted loudly.
— Don't you think that's a good reason to think about your behavior? — a logical remark, in principle.
However, there is a small nuance.
— In the next life — absolutely.
I absolutely don't care if someone doesn't like my behavior.
At least, at this moment in time.
— With that attitude towards people, that might happen in the near future, — Should I interpret this phrase as an unconcealed threat? Or as a carefully disguised concern for my life?
However, something else is bothering me now, something more trivial and mundane.
— So what do you want, Yumiko? — I crossed one leg over the other, as is my habit.
— What do you mean? — the girl frowned, apparently unprepared for such an abrupt change of topic.
I sighed.
Seriously, what other meaning could there be?
Classes were over, everyone had scattered: some went home, some to clubs—even Yuigahama, wagging her tail, rushed off to meet Snowball, ready for the second round of discussing the future candidate for Student Council President. By the way, that's why I was diligently postponing the moment of returning to the club until the very last minute. Fortunately, I was on duty, so I had the opportunity to be quietly alone.
...Which the blonde deprived me of, deciding to keep me company. Just like that, out of boredom, without any goal.
I believe it, right down to my soul.
— Hikigaya, — Miura narrowed her eyes, practically spitting out my surname. — If you dislike my company so much, just say so.
I involuntarily twitched the corner of my mouth, trying to reduce the degree of internal irritation that surged after her statement.
There is something nasty about having your words taken in a completely wrong way.
— Don't exaggerate, please, — I rubbed my forehead, feeling a jab of headache.
— In that case, stop acting like the center of the universe, — noticing my questioning look, the girl shook her head, closing her eyes for a second.
— Imagine, sometimes people just want to chat. I know, it sounds absurd to your sociopathic mind, but you'll have to deal with it, — she paused briefly, then added much quieter: — At least if you plan to maintain friendly relations with anyone.
— Um... — here I was slightly bewildered, finding it difficult to imagine how this was possible, given that all my life experience suggested the exact opposite.
— Too bad I don't have a camera with me. I managed to completely stun Hikigaya himself, — Yumiko smirked, not hiding the satisfaction in her voice from a job well done.
— I would say: cognitive dissonance. Be that as it may, let's assume you really wanted to talk to me. Then why now, when no one is around? — In my opinion, that's a fairly logical remark.
Miura, instead of the expected confusion, merely covered her face with her palm.
— Are you messing with me? — she groaned quietly. — Seriously? Why did I, of all people, decide to talk to you only when there are no outsiders?
The classmate's entire tone tried to show the profound error of my words, which caused a slight feeling of shame, as if I were the stupid one here.
— Hachiman... ugh, — the blonde didn't finish, collapsing into a chair, letting her head drop weakly. — Sometimes you fail to understand the most basic things.
— Well, I'm far from perfect, I'll agree, — I shrugged.
In any case, I need to rack my brain.
What is the difficulty in approaching me... in the middle of a noisy class... with a bunch of witnesses... and the jealous look of Hayama and Doggy...
— Ah-ha... — I unintentionally drew out the sound, feeling incredibly awkward.
— Ah-ha! — the girl mimicked. — Did it finally sink in?
— It sank in, it sank in, — admitting it, I ruffled the hair on the back of my head.
— Perfect, then, — Yumiko smiled and, propping her chin on her hand, asked: — How are things in general?
I suppressed the subconscious urge to ask, "Why the sudden interest?"
It's a normal dialogue, without subtext, remember that.
— Overall, they could be better, — I glanced at her sideways.
Hmm, speaking of which...
— You've heard about the upcoming Student Council President election, haven't you? — waiting for a nod from my classmate, I cast my line. — What do you think of the candidates?
— Are there many? I think only one first-year. Iroha Isshiki, or whatever her name is, — Miura rotated her other palm in the air, as if describing someone insignificant.
— Do you know her?
My classmate wrinkled her nose.
— Considering the lewd glances she throws in Hayato's direction? — Wow, the alpha female instinct for possible competition? — She's cute in appearance, constantly seen in the soccer club. Either a manager, or something else.
— Nothing more?
— Why would there be? — the blonde raised an eyebrow. — She's no rival to me, and the fact that she got the idea to become president doesn't concern me at all.
— I wouldn't say that decision was Isshiki's own, — I grimaced. — It's more like an "illegitimate nomination intended as a joke."
— Bravo. That made things so-o-o clear, — Yumiko drawled. — I sympathize, of course, but how are you connected to this?
It was my turn to give the girl a long and piercing look, hinting at the transparency of the answer.
Fortunately, Miura was intelligent and quick-witted.
— Hiratsuka, right?
I nodded.
— She loves throwing problems your way. So, this Isshiki was illegally pushed into candidacy, and it turns out she doesn't like such actions at all, and as a result, the first-year decided to burden the Sensei with this problem, and she, in turn—you?
I clapped, appreciating her flawless train of thought.
— And now you need to... Let me guess: find new candidates, since no one is planning to nominate themselves? — No, I understand that everything is quite obvious, but her deduction greatly pleased me.
— Exactly... — I wanted to voice the thought spinning in my head, but the girl managed to preempt me again.
— No, Hachiman, you can't count on my participation in the elections. Yes, I know I'm smart and have gorgeous looks, and thanks to my accumulated reputation, getting the majority of votes wouldn't be difficult, but spending precious time on paperwork? I'll decline.
— Thank you for saving me the trouble of saying it myself. You understand, my job is to insult people, not dole out compliments.
The blonde widened her eyes.
— Oh, I would love to hear a compliment from you, — a flirtatious smile crept onto her lips. — And, perhaps, I might change my decision.
I thought about it.
What happened the last time I decided to say something nice to a woman?
...Oh, right, Haruno.
Thanks, I've had enough.
— Maybe another time, — I cleared my throat, pretending not to notice the fleeting disappointment in my classmate's eyes. — Now if you would agree...
— Pathetic excuses, — Miura waved her hand.
— By the way, purely by chance, do you have anyone suitable in mind? — I tried to shift the focus to a more pressing issue.
Yumiko tilted her head, pondering.
— Suitable, you say? — she tapped her cheek with her finger. — Hayato? Definitely not; he'll emphasize his responsibility to the club. Ebina?
We exchanged glances.
Everything was clear without words.
— Oh! Minami? She did pretty well as a "talking head" during the Cultural Festival, — what a "flattering" assessment.
Truthfully, recalling all their stumbling blocks and Sagami's visible, naked-eye attraction to Hayama, the blonde's open hostility toward the girl is obvious.
Although, to be honest, the suggestion was not devoid of common sense.
If I understood Haruno's and Komachi's explanations correctly, the main role of the Student Council President is precisely to constantly show their face at events and entertain the masses in every way possible.
— Hmm, sounds interesting, — I drummed my fingers on the table. — Of course, she certainly won't listen to me, but she might succumb to the persuasions of Yuigahama or Yukinoshita. Moreover, we can always play our trump card and hint that by becoming president, Sagami will earn extra points in Hayama's eyes...
— Which won't help her in any way, — Miura snorted.
— Do you think Minami pales in comparison to you? — I didn't miss the opportunity to tease the girl.
— I mean that Hayato is more likely to confess his love to his own reflection than to appreciate the attempts of those around him to impress him, — Yumiko noted acerbically. — However, you're right too. Few people in this school can overshadow my perfection.
On one hand, there is a healthy dose of self-irony, but on the other, the blonde sitting opposite me rightfully holds the second spot in the academy's ranking of popular students.
And by the way: when did she cool off towards Hayama? If I remember correctly, someone was intensely pursuing him for a long time. Where did Hayato manage to mess up so badly that he fell so far in the eyes of his most devoted fan?
However, I shouldn't bother myself with that.
I should sort out my own relationships before meddling in others'.
...Wait.
Relationships?
— Hachiman, I don't like the way you're looking at me, — the blonde muttered nervously, covering her chest with her hands for some reason, probably more instinctively than consciously.
— How? — Should I ask directly or try to approach it circuitously?
— Carnivorously, — a funny interpretation of my underlying interest.
— Perhaps, perhaps, — I suppose I won't rub my hands together, or she'll definitely think I look like a praying mantis ready to bite into fresh meat. — Listen, Yumiko, you understand relationships between people, don't you?
As far as I remember, last time she gave me a good earful about Ebina and Tobe; consequently, she might be able to suggest Haruno's thought process.
— Let's assume so, — the girl said slowly and cautiously.
— Excellent, — I put my fingers together, leaning forward slightly.
— But how is this related to the presidential election? — my classmate narrowed her eyes, causing me to wince a little.
— It's not; forget about those useless elections for now, — and, not giving her a chance to interrupt, I blurted out: — What are the reasons a girl might kiss a guy she is not in a romantic relationship with?
— Uh-h-h...
Oops, I think I broke Yumiko.
I really should have led up to it somehow.
— Wait, — blinking, she held her hands out. — Since when are you interested in a topic like this?
After a few seconds, my classmate's face lit up with understanding, which immediately changed into a deeply sarcastic smile.
— Hachiman-n-n... oh dear, I see you decided to skip a step on the ladder of social experiences? — Now I understand what she meant when she talked about my gaze, because now I felt as if a huge python was looking at me, licking its chops.
I should make it a rule: think three times before asking anything, especially on such delicate topics.
— Well, who is she? — Miura didn't try to hide the interest in her voice.
— Is that relevant to the topic? — I involuntarily moved back.
— Oh, it absolutely is, — the classmate purred. — Do I really need to tell you that the essence of a relationship depends on the direct participants?
— And you don't want to accumulate more blackmail material? — I asked ironically, frantically looking for a way out of the trap I had set for myself.
— Consider it payment for the advice, — she's not even hiding it; just look!
I massaged my brow ridges.
Frankly, I didn't want to reveal Haruno's identity. Should I try hinting?
It won't work; Yumiko will easily figure out who I'm talking about.
Change the subject?
— Hmm... — Yumiko placed her palm on her chin. — Based on your unwillingness to state the person's identity directly, I'm sure I know the girl. Either directly or indirectly. Definitely not Yui; I would have noticed long ago. And absolutely not Yukinoshita; you two are more likely to tear each other apart. So-o-o... who's left? Ebina, Sagami, or Kawasaki — nope, your level of contact is close to zero. That leaves two possibilities: Hiratsuka or Yukinoshita's older sister, who put on a show during the Organising Committee with you in the starring role. And we can immediately rule out Sensei: no offense, but you have no chance of attracting her interest in that way. Accordingly, only, what was her name... Haruno, right?
I pinched the bridge of my nose, using all my strength to suppress the laughter that wanted to burst out.
How? Just how? To build a logical chain with — pay attention! — the correct conclusion, based on the word "girl" and my behavior? Yes, in a way, following the thought and arriving at the correct answer doesn't seem difficult.
...When you've already heard everything.
Even I would have failed in Miura's place...
— Am I right? I'm right, aren't I? — the blonde excitedly confirmed.
— You are, — I gave credit to her deduction.
— Easy! — Yumiko smiled happily, after which, realizing she was acting too childish, she cleared her throat, trying to compose a calm expression, all the while casting mischievous glances at me. — Come on, tell me the details! I mean... ahem... well, or in general terms, to understand the situation.
She finished much less confidently than she started.
In principle, it's understandable — despite the significant changes our relationship has undergone, it would be difficult to call us close friends. Therefore, asking for the disclosure of such "intimate" details of a relationship with another person seemed a little inappropriate.
However, drawing an analogy with medicine, a detailed anamnesis of the patient is needed for a diagnosis. But extracting a non-disclosure agreement for personal data from Miura is a bit tricky...
Do I trust Yumiko enough to risk Haruno's reputation, given that I care little about my own?
The truth is, she already figured out her identity; therefore, spreading inappropriate rumors would not be difficult. Moreover, no special proof would be needed — the combination of "Hikigaya" and "Yukinoshita's older sister" would be enough for acquaintances to start speculating on the topic.
Thoughtfully chewing my lower lip, I looked at the blonde, who was patiently waiting for my decision.
— On one condition, — I sighed. — If you assure me that the story will not leave this classroom.
— Hmph! You have no respect at all? — Yumiko raised an eyebrow, but when our eyes met, she backed down. — Fine, have it your way. And, so that you can be calm...
Getting up, she approached me and, leaning in, quietly whispered in my ear:
— Actually, I'm very afraid of the dark and confined spaces.
And she immediately pulled back, looking away in embarrassment.
— Emm... — the girl instantly shushed me, putting a finger to her lips.
— Quiet! Not! A! Word! — Oh, her ears were even red. — Now just you dare leave without telling me anything. I'll never forgive you!
Miura cast a defiant look at the end.
— Don't worry, I respect the rules of equal exchange, — pausing, I gathered my thoughts. — I suggest you sit back down; the story will be... long.
She didn't need to be told twice—the girl practically fell into the chair, tapping her fingers impatiently on her knees.
Where to begin...
***
Unfortunately, it was impossible to fit the entire story into five minutes — although I skimmed over the highlights, not delving too deeply into the details of each meeting with Haruno, it took a good half hour, not counting Yumiko's rare clarifications during the process.
When I finally finished describing the date that ended in unexpected "intimacy," Miura sat deeply lost in thought, as if she had fallen out of the real world.
— Well, Hachiman... — the girl sighed loudly, shaking her head. — I knew you were capable of eccentricity in some aspects of life, but starting a relationship with a trip to a psychotherapist, and the next date — at home, with your little sister present? That was something I couldn't have imagined. And I haven't even mentioned who you chose as a partner! No, don't misunderstand; you have good taste, but... seriously, the older Yukinoshita?
— What's wrong with that? — I tilted my head, not quite understanding the reasons for her shock.
— The heiress of a major company, a student at a prestigious university... after all, the sister of the Ice Queen herself, — the blonde snapped her fingers in the air. — No? Does nothing ring a bell in your head?
— Only emptiness, — I gave a wry smile.
In response, the girl groaned resignedly, rubbing her forehead.
— Kami, and why do exactly those types capture people's hearts, — she muttered barely audibly under her breath.
— Natural beauty and charisma do their job, — I thumped my chest with my fist.
In reward, I received another unreadable look.
— Forget it; you heard nothing, — Yumiko patted her cheeks. — Okay, let's gather ourselves. What was it you asked: why did she kiss you, right?
I nodded affirmatively.
— What do you think yourself?
— Nothing? If I had a normal answer or guess, I probably wouldn't be asking, — I replied slightly irritated.
— Whew... Hachiman, can you voice the options that come to mind, even the craziest ones? — Miura crossed one leg over the other.
— You're deliberately making this difficult, aren't you? — my classmate didn't reply to that, continuing to patiently bore into me with her gaze. Kami, who pulled my tongue on this damned question?
— Fine, options, — I ran my tongue over my canines, collecting my thoughts. Maybe it will help. — In order of realism: Haruno decided to play a joke on me that way, next — she became incredibly bored and wanted to have fun, which is basically similar to the first, and the last, the most fantastic — with her actions she showed that she is not opposed to...
It was even awkward to say it out loud, but Miura's probing gaze gave me the strength to squeeze out the end of the phrase:
— ...a romantic relationship with my person.
— Why fantastic? — Yumiko snorted.
It was my turn to look at her with clear skepticism.
— Seriously? Why? It's logical, isn't it?
— What's logical? — Blonde, don't sow the seeds of doubt in your quick wit.
— You want to enjoy hearing me admit aloud that no girl in her right mind would want to build a bright future of communism with me, right? — It was difficult to contain the mounting irritation.
My classmate blinked a couple of times, after which, to my utter surprise, she laughed loudly and hysterically.
— Did I say something funny? — I frowned.
Calming down, Miura somehow caught her breath and, maintaining sparks of amusement in her gaze, smirked.
— Hachiman, how should I put it... — she let out another short laugh, as if she found something funny in my words. — Would you believe me if I told you that I know at least five girls perfectly willing to enter a romantic relationship with you? And no, Yuigahama is not among them. Yeah, I can tell by your face that you don't believe it. Too bad, what more can I say...
Yumiko rocked on the back legs of her chair, crossing her arms over her chest.
— Hachiman, you like analogies, don't you? Then what animal do you see yourself as, if you imagine our school as some kind of... natural kingdom?
Right, for complete happiness, I definitely needed a session of metaphorical comparisons and charades.
Fine, I'll humor her as an exception.
— A sloth, who else, — I propped my head up with my fist.
— Who would have doubted it. And what do the people around you see you as?
— Bamboo or a reed, — I offered a remark filled with sarcasm. — Actually, how should I know? More accurately, what do I care?
— Exactly. You care about no one. You always sit alone, watching everyone closely, but you don't take any action until it personally affects you. And, if a problem arises, you solve it on the spot, sometimes harshly, without considering the opinion of the person you're talking to, — I would have thought Yumiko was trying to be ironic, but the tone of her voice was too serious.
— You speak as if I'm some kind of wild... tiger, or something, — I tried to joke.
— Yes, you are absolutely right. Unfortunately, I don't really know much about animal fauna, but if Hayato is a lion, surrounded by a loyal pride and susceptible to others' attention, even if he doesn't show it, then you are a tiger... — Honestly, I didn't want to offend Yumiko, but the more she spoke, the more I wanted to burst out laughing.
And it was at the "tiger" moment that I gave up, allowing myself to laugh.
— Damn, I'm serious! — Miura protested.
— Lion... tiger... dog! — I wheezed in response, covering my eyes with my palm.
— Listen, you! I'm trying to help you with your own problem, and you're acting like this! — Okay, I need to get a hold of myself, or she'll get offended.
Clearing my throat a couple of times, I wiped away the tears that had welled up and, exhaling, waved my hand.
— My deepest apologies, please continue, whew...
— Kami, you can be so difficult, — the blonde pursed her lips. — Fine, I'll say it straight: Hachiman, if you weren't such a complete sociopath, ready to bite off the hand of anyone who extends it in dangerous proximity, herds of girls would be chasing you! Looks? You have them. Strong character? You have it. Intelligence? You have it. What else does a girl need to spark interest, huh?
— A huge, weighty wallet full of money, — I grinned, habitually hiding the wave of embarrassment from her words behind a caustic phrase.
— Exactly: you snarl and bare your teeth if someone crosses the acceptable boundary, — Yumiko said dryly. — And despite all this, you sincerely believe that no one can be interested in you. While the truth is exactly the opposite — there is interest, but those around you are simply afraid to show it!
— Except for a few reckless people, among whom is Haruno, no offense, who is crazy enough to express her interest as directly as possible, which you... — she pointed an accusing index finger at me: — Are afraid to take seriously because of your low self-esteem!
Initially, I wanted to object, because it's one thing to mentally acknowledge your main flaw, and another to hear it from someone else.
Due to the rationality that prevailed over my emotions, I restrained myself and pondered.
After all, Yumiko is speaking from the point of view of a person observing me from the outside, so there is some possibility that she is right.
Besides, deep down, I genuinely wanted Haruno's actions to be dictated purely by interest in developing a relationship between us, but the carefully nurtured caution in romantic matters, bordering on paranoia and a subconscious rejection of any attempts to deepen a connection with anyone, severely interfered with that.
— Let's assume you're right, — I said slowly, tapping my foot on the floor. — What should I do about it then?
— Ho-oh, that's for you to figure out, friend. I've stated my opinion, but after that? Sorry, your relationships are your headache, — Yumiko got up, dusting off her blouse. — I've fulfilled my friendly duty one hundred percent.
— So we're friends, it turns out? — I glanced at her sideways with a smirk on my lips.
Miura rolled her eyes and, without answering, walked elegantly between the rows and, freezing at the doorway, said briefly:
— What do you think, you idiot? — and she left, leaving me alone with myself.
And although the thoughts plaguing me were partially resolved, for some reason, it didn't feel any easier.
Apparently, fate is persistently trying to maintain the balance of my life's annoyances...
***
— I'm surprised to see you here, Hikigaya.
— Believe me, I'm shocked myself, — I replied gloomily, surveying the Student Council room.
— Why so formal? — Shiromeguri smiled, standing next to me. — I'm nominally the President until the next head is elected, so you can call me by my first name.
The positivity radiating from the girl was almost physically palpable. An improved version of Yuigahama, honestly.
— When that happens, I'll consider it, — Meguri actually pouted at my words, which made her resemble an offended hamster. — Be that as it may, why is no one here?
Distracted from her feigned offense, the girl gestured to the clock with a nod.
Ah, right, it was almost six o'clock. It was logical that most students had gone home. However, that explains the President's presence, but we'll omit that point. I also stayed quite late, though for my own reasons.
I winced, recalling the latest session discussing potential candidates.
Despite the fact that Yuigahama and Yukinoshita favorably received my suggestion to "work on" Sagami, they didn't limit themselves to her alone, immediately dumping a huge pile of data on me that they had collected while I was having a pleasant conversation with Yumiko.
I should probably be pleased: they do all the work for you; you just sit there and issue verdict after verdict. But when they literally read out a list of every second-year student, of whom you know at most five...
In short, it was wasted time again. It felt as if the girls were completely fixated on the selection process, utterly ignoring other factors I had noted earlier. For example: yes, you'll find a suitable candidate who fits the criteria. But how are you going to persuade them?
— Actually, I was about to leave myself, but then I met you at the door, — blinking, I emerged from my memories and realized that Shiromeguri was intently studying my face, standing in dangerously close proximity. — So what brought you here, Hikigaya?
— Official duty, — I carefully backed away. — Are you aware of the problem that arose due to improper document flow within your system?
I wanted to say "negligent incompetence," but decided to limit myself to a neutral, official term.
— I won't deny that we missed it, — the smile on the President's face faded. — But the complaint here is more directed at those who decided to play a joke on Iroha Isshiki that way.
Of course, of course, it's not our fault; it's someone else's fault, and as is customary, someone below you in status.
— Let's skip that, — I twitched the corner of my lip. — The fact that a problem exists won't disappear by finding the true culprit. What's important now is something else...
I approached the nearest desk, cluttered with a stack of documents, scanning the headings. Hmm, a report on the cleaning conducted on the academy grounds over the past month, some notes on disciplinary action, and a few student applications; at least, I saw a couple of those forms on the bulletin board.
— What is that? — Shiromeguri watched my actions cautiously, for some reason not intervening. If I were in her place, I would have already tried to kick out the person who was brazenly studying internal documentation.
— You don't need to feign naivety, Madam President, — I continued my round, examining the wall posters with wise sayings along the lines of: "Work until you drop, the party will be grateful."
— I know you are actively looking for candidates right now. But how is that related to what you're doing? — Hmm, I could hear notes of irritation in her voice, but a light smile still dominated her face.
— If something is unsatisfactory, you can always show me the door, — I smirked and, realizing that my words might lead to an undesirable outcome again, I added unhurriedly: — Regarding my unexpected interest...
I paused near the stand with awards hung up by the school administration and the Board of Trustees. I wonder if they have any real value or if they could serve as scratch paper if there's a shortage of clean sheets?
— Let's just say, unlike my "colleagues," I wanted to personally familiarize myself with the President's future field of work. You know, — I glanced sideways at Shiromeguri, — so I can tell him or her what they will actually have to do.
— You could have asked me, — a faint crease appeared between Meguri's eyebrows. — You didn't necessarily have to come in person.
— You know, my sister, though she's only in middle school, is also a President, so I have a source of information, — finally, the final destination: the President's workspace, which I identified by the office chair with a red ribbon tied to the armrest. It seems to be passed down from one head to the next. I saw it on the shoulder of the girl standing next to me a couple of times.
— But? — the third-year quickly moved around the desk and put some of the documents in the desk drawer, depriving me of the opportunity to study them.
— Some things are better seen in person than relying on the stories of others.
In principle, I seemed to have examined everything, and fortunately, I noticed almost no difference from the picture I had formed in my head — thanks to Haruno and Komachi.
Indeed, local executors, fully immersed in minor administrative work. Theoretically, they should act as the "voice of the people," protecting the students' interests, but again, the reality is that this is just the outer side of the coin.
— Satisfied with what you've seen? — Meguri asked, realizing I had finished wandering around the room.
— Quite, — I scratched my cheek. — It's a shame, though; I still couldn't find the answer to one question.
— Which one?
I turned to the girl, looking her in the eye.
— What does all this provide? — I gestured around the Student Council room. — So far, it's unclear to me: where are the upsides to the position, aside from a favorable recommendation for university admission?
— In the experience gained, — the President answered without hesitation.
— Is that all? — I raised an eyebrow.
— Do you need something more? — Shiromeguri repeated my gesture. — I have a counter-question: where else will you gain management experience? In my opinion, the knowledge and skills acquired during studies play a crucial role in life. Practical knowledge, at that. And unfortunately, there aren't many opportunities to obtain it.
— To take on such a burden of responsibility just for that? That's rather weak motivation, wouldn't you agree? — I smirked.
— It depends on what exactly you mean by "such," — the girl ran her finger across the tabletop. — I won't argue; at first, I was lost when faced with a large number of new responsibilities, and only after some time did I realize that everything wasn't as scary as it seemed initially.
To rephrase: "It hurts the first time — and then you get used to it."
— The main task is to find people you can rely on, because you can't handle everything alone, — she sighed; a flash of nostalgia flickered in her eyes. — And that's it. Everything else is solved gradually, as you work.
— And yet it's hard to interest anyone with that, — I put my hands in my pockets.
— It's not necessary, — Meguri shrugged. — After all, no one tries to praise the position of a manager in some office, but people continue to seek promotions, climbing as high as possible, despite the increasing responsibility and workload. Because they have two important qualities...
For the first time in our short acquaintance, I saw such a cold and calculating look in her eyes.
— Ambition and the desire to realize those very ambitions, — Shiromeguri tossed a document stamp in the air and caught it in her palm. — Isn't it human nature to want to be better than one's peers? To have better food, a bigger house, and a higher salary. Everyone wants this, but not everyone is ready to do anything to make their dreams a reality.
You can't argue with that. All people, to varying degrees, are egocentric beings whose main interest and motive for life is purely to satisfy their own needs.
— This factor is the main difference, let's say, between me and, hypothetically, Isshiki, — the girl slowly returned the object to its place and sighed. — While she is diligently trying to avoid her imposed fate, I purposefully wanted to take this position; after all, I have a dream, the achievement of which requires a huge amount of effort.
— And what is it, if you don't mind me asking? — I was interested.
Honestly, now I understood why the Student Council members unquestioningly fulfilled Meguri's requests and were ready to rush wherever she pointed at a moment's notice.
There was something authoritative about the person standing before me, something that commanded subconscious respect and... if not awe, then an understanding of the seriousness of her intentions.
— Sorry, Hikigaya, but I'll prefer to keep that to myself, — Shiromeguri sighed and, after a moment, smiled warmly. — Additionally, I ask you not to spread word of our conversation. I think you are quite capable of conveying the gist of my words in your own way.
— You prefer to maintain your image among the students?
— Image? No, no, — the President laughed brightly. — You shouldn't make me out to be some two-faced girl craving power.
— It seemed otherwise to me, — I honestly noted, still holding the image of her cold expression in my mind.
— But you certainly understood what drives me, wouldn't you agree? — the girl twirled a lock of hair around her finger. — To be clear, I believe that everything should be approached with a smile and positivity.
— But at certain moments, you need to show some strength of character?
— Exactly. People require an individual approach.
— Is that why you staged a kind of "show" for me? — If so, I take my hat off in respect.
Instead of a full answer, Meguri simply winked.
All that was left for me was to make a semblance of a bow.
At the same time, I noticed the time on the wall clock out of the corner of my eye.
Almost seven in the evening?
Wow, today I'm breaking records for staying inside the school building.
— Then all that's left is for me to thank you for your time and the opportunity to see the "kitchen" from the inside, — I smiled with the corners of my lips. — Even though it didn't help me solve the original question.
— Always happy to help, — How does she manage that? A minute ago, she was an iceberg; now, she's warm sunshine. A talent, nothing less.
Deciding that our conversation was over, I turned and twisted the doorknob, preparing to leave.
Just as I stepped over the threshold, a voice sounded behind me:
— Speaking of candidates. Hikigaya, I think you would make a wonderful President, — tilting my head slightly, I noticed a strange gleam in Meguri's eyes, which continued to smile radiantly.
— Who knows, — I let out a short chuckle, closed the door behind me, and shook my head.
Me? President?
Absurd.
There's no way the school couldn't find a student ready to take the reins of the Student Council...
***
Six days later, I realized that you can't say anything with certainty when the probability of an event is less than one.
What is the legendary Murphy's Law? "Anything that can go wrong will go wrong."
A jocular principle, perhaps, but it describes life better than the fundamental laws derived by famous philosophers who spent the better part of their lives formulating them.
How else can I explain that in all this time, we haven't managed to persuade a single person — absolutely no one! — ready to oppose Iroha and subsequently become the winner of the upcoming presidential election! Even Sagami refused, despite all the efforts put in by Yui and Yukino. It goes without saying that I didn't participate in the persuading, or Minami wouldn't have even listened.
The situation itself is simply unbelievable...
Closing my eyes, I leaned back in my chair, trying to come up with some way out of the situation. Fortunately, I was alone in the club, as Doggy and Snowball had decided to eat away their accumulated stress at some café. They invited me too, out of politeness, of course, but I refused. I wasn't in the mood for sweets. Nor for participating in detached conversations. Right now, I just wanted to sit and calmly reflect, without being distracted by anything unnecessary.
What do we have left in the bare remains?
Iroha is still the sole candidate. Hiratsuka and Shiromeguri — whom I met a couple more times for guidance — shrug their shoulders, unable to help in any way. Should I try pressuring someone else for an idea? Who? Komachi? Everything was already discussed with her. Yumiko? She doesn't care about the election, and she already contributed by suggesting a few options. Haruno?...
No.
I'm not ready to contact her yet, as I haven't quite decided what I want from our relationship. If she's even considering one, since Miura's opinion might be wrong.
Totsuka, Zaimokuza, and Kawasaki are definitely not helpful here.
Ultimately, we come to a disappointing conclusion: I will have to rely solely on myself.
Which is what I feared, in general.
Putting my hands behind my head, I began to hypnotize the ceiling with my gaze, as if it could provide the necessary answer.
So, what are the realistic options?
First, persuade Iroha to play along and lead the Student Council. This is a perfectly achievable task — the girl is susceptible to public attention, and if the focus is placed correctly, there is a high chance of success.
The drawbacks: I have no idea what she is capable of once she gets some power in her hands. In addition, whether due to Meguri's words or some other unknown reason, forcing her into the "seat" against her will didn't seem like a sound idea. And, to top it off, the Sensei's request would be failed.
Second: take a risk and play the "Ice Queen" card. Although Yukino is stubborn, there is a very real chance of motivating her to take the President's position. Play on the classic "I dare you" or make a comparison with her sister, who, in her time, didn't get the position. However, it seems to me that if a miracle doesn't happen today and the right person doesn't fall from the sky, Snowball will nominate herself as a "scapegoat." Her sense of hyper-responsibility remains, albeit in a more weakened form.
But there is a nuance: this is essentially no different from if I persuaded Isshiki. A coerced action, devoid of initiative. Ultimately, I'm sure my conscience would simply devour me.
The intermediate option with Yuigahama is immediately tossed aside. The girl is a pure executor, unfortunately incapable of full-fledged organizational activity. Perhaps my opinion is overly biased or there are other subjective factors that prevent me from even considering Doggy's candidacy, but... no, definitely not.
In the end, only the last option remains.
Hachiman Hikigaya, which is to say — me.
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes again, trying to cast aside all emotional components and look at the situation from a purely logical point of view.
Do I feel discomfort about the forthcoming prospects of becoming the Student Council Head?
Undoubtedly.
Can the ephemeral bonuses of the position outweigh the negative effect?
I slowly chewed my lower lip.
That's... debatable.
In modern society, various "boosters" are necessary for a good start. Some have influential relatives, some possess extraordinary talent, which allows them to cover most shortcomings, and some are simply lucky. The remaining people, whose numbers are excessively high, have to resort to all sorts of tricks to gain an advantage over their competitors.
Does this mean anything to me?
As such, I don't see a clear goal before me.
Finish school, enter the nearest university, then... And then what?
Find work from home, gently nurturing my cultivated unwillingness to be in society? Marry a rich lady, becoming the ideal "house husband," considering I only know how to make coffee and most chores fall to Komachi. What can I even talk about when I sometimes freeze up trying to start the washing machine?
Or should I swallow my principles and try to become someone... significant, powerful? But will I succeed?
It's clear that in the wet dreams of any teenager, the future life is painted in soft pink tones, where as soon as he leaves his alma mater, potential employers pounce on him like vultures, eager to snatch up such a desired worker. There's a high salary, a comfortable office, easy responsibilities, and sexy secretaries around every corner, ready to drop their skirts and assume a kneeling position at the snap of his fingers.
A perfect picture, you couldn't call it anything else.
It's a shame that in reality, those who sincerely believe in miracles often end their lives in a small nook of a run-down office, completely bogged down by their boss's errands. Or they stand behind counters, shouting, "Next in line!" No, undoubtedly, some succeed through wild luck, finding themselves in the right place at the right time. But relying on sheer chance is the height of idiocy.
Accordingly, the question arises: Will my pride withstand such an outcome, where I become a nobody — just a "plankton" running errands or an overgrown weirdo who survives on a bunch of odd jobs and freelance work?
Our first meeting with Snowball popped into my mind. I remember she said a funny phrase then, although filled with adolescent maximalism, it wasn't devoid of common sense:
"Sooner or later, you'll have to adapt to someone because we live in a society. Or, you can choose not to, but then you need to be better so that society adapts to you."
The tendency to adapt is ingrained in the human organism; otherwise, we wouldn't have survived in this harsh world.
To some extent, even our ambitions act as a conditional mechanism by which the process of survival occurs. If everyone around were infantile individuals, incapable of challenging the established worldview, I would now be actively beating my chest, trying to win the last bunch of bananas. I'm exaggerating, of course, but...
I rubbed my forehead.
Be that as it may, bringing my reasoning to the finish line, I have two paths before me.
The easy and familiar one: ignore everything, give up, and step aside, continuing my unhurried existence in my tiny, cozy world, closing my eyes to the looming difficulties in life.
The unpleasant and, most likely, incredibly problematic one: go all in and put forward my candidacy for the President's post, thereby invalidating my own principles.
Opening my eyes, I slowly rose from the chair and, clasping my hands behind my back, approached the window, looking at the students leaving the building. Happy, full of joy and the spirit of "youth."
Carefree.
Shaking my head, I laughed quietly.
Kami, just look at me. A year ago, I wouldn't have even hesitated about the correct choice — it would have been utterly obvious.
But now...
I took my phone out of my pocket, opened my contacts list, and searched for the number I needed.
Now, to make a final decision, I need to clarify something.
***
Tapping my foot in rhythm with my thoughts, I watched the second hand of the clock jerk and jump from mark to mark.
There was something meditative about it, inducing a state of trance.
Perhaps that's why I barely reacted to the noise of the door opening and the voice that followed:
— Senpai, is something wrong? I already managed to reach the intersection, and then you call me back! — Iroha, feigning annoyance, strode into the center of the room, stopping right in front of me.
Tearing myself away from the contemplation of endlessly flowing time, I shifted my gaze to the girl.
— Something is wrong, — I had no desire for sarcasm or snark. — Sit down, we need to talk.
— Do you have to be so mysterious? — the first-year snorted, nevertheless obediently pulling up a chair and sitting opposite me. — By the way, where is everyone else? Have you finally decided to show your true nature and take possession of my young body, taking advantage of the lack of witnesses? Or...
— Isshiki.
She flinched barely noticeably, cutting off her sentence mid-word.
— Not in the mood, huh? — Iroha smiled nervously, placing her palms on her knees.
— Apparently, you are the only one who is taking the current situation so casually, — I replied dryly, placing my hand on the nearby desk and propping my cheek with my fist.
— Me? Of course, — Isshiki smiled. — Because I know that the wise Senpais will surely find a way out of the situation!
— And if they don't?
The positivity radiating from the girl noticeably diminished.
— What do you mean? — thinly veiled disbelief, closely intertwined with wariness, was frozen in her eyes.
— If we don't find a way out, what will you do? — I established eye contact with her. — As you already know, we haven't been able to find a single candidate, and we only have until the evening.
The first-year squirmed in her seat, feeling uncomfortable under my scrutinizing gaze.
— Senpai, don't scare me like that, okay? — Her smile came out extremely awkward and forced. However, when she realized that I wasn't going to turn everything into a joke, even that vanished.
— Intimidation is meant to provoke action. In this case, I am stating a fact: we have two solutions to the situation. Either you become the Student Council President due to the lack of other candidates, or you withdraw from the election, becoming the subject of mockery and ridicule. I'll be frank: I'm fine with both the first and the second option. Your decision?
— Just like that? — the girl became nervous. — What about giving me time to think?
— You had a whole week for that, — I pointed out.
— But... — Iroha looked around, searching for a way to avoid answering. — Maybe we should wait for the others? W-wouldn't making a decision without Yukinoshita be a little w-wrong?
— Do you think anything will change with their presence? — From the outside, it probably looked like I was literally "pressuring" my conversation partner. To some extent, the observation is true, but in my defense — I have my reasons for this behavior.
— Well, maybe...
— Maybe a miracle will happen and all your problems will be solved? — I inquired ironically. — Fine, since you are persistently trying to postpone the choice, answer me: why are you so strenuously refusing the President's position?
Isshiki squeezed the fabric of her skirt with her fingers.
— I-it's obvious: who would want to do something like this against their own will?
— Agreed, — I chuckled. — Only, in that case, wouldn't all our attempts to find a replacement for you resemble the actions of your "friends," don't you think? After all, we want to "compel" someone. Or am I wrong?
In the ensuing silence, the ticking of the mechanical clock was distinctly audible.
The first-year sitting opposite me must not have even thought about this topic. She lowered her head, hiding her eyes behind her long brown bangs, and hunched over slightly.
I, in turn, calmly watched her through half-closed eyelids, not intending to rush her in any way.
Human nature is such that one's own interests are put above those of others, and this is absolutely normal. If we were in the wild, there would be no questions at all.
However, the development of society brought with it social responsibility, where we, for some unknown reason, empathize or think about the opinions of those with whom we are not at all connected. And the more you associate yourself with society, the stronger this factor influences you.
Relatively speaking, it is much harder for a child to understand the logic of adults who scold him for not sharing a toy or candy with another child. Isn't it his? Why should he give "his own" to someone "else's"?
In addition, Iroha, along with the realization that she is trying to dump her problems onto someone else, most likely began to feel guilty. And guilt is a terrible thing, capable of driving anyone to the grave.
— You're right, — Isshiki whispered quietly. — Nevertheless...
She sighed convulsively.
— Nevertheless... I really don't want to become the head, — the girl raised her head.
Tears were frozen in her light brown eyes.
Oh, Kami... I wish she had just screamed and started throwing chairs in a fit of rage...
— I'm completely incapable of m-managing people, I k-keep getting lost in meetings and... and... — the first-year sniffed, hiding her face in her palms. — I'm... scared, Senpai.
I wonder, purely nominally, does this count as the second time I've driven my conversation partner to tears?
But, unlike the incident with Yumiko, there was no impulse in me now to jump up and comfort the girl.
For some unknown reason, her state evoked only a dull fatigue in me, with a barely perceptible irritation.
However, on the relatively positive side, I also settled on my choice, which did not make me happy in the slightest.
Should I burst into tears too, maybe it will help?...
At that very moment, the club door loudly slid open.
— We're back! We brought... — Yuigahama, smiling cheerfully, flew into the room, waving a bag. However, her face instantly changed when she noticed the guest and the state she was in. — I-Isshiki? Why are you crying?
Dropping the bag, Doggy dashed toward the first-year, wrapping her arms around her shoulders and asking something. But instead of a coherent answer, Iroha, as is customary in such situations, burst into tears even harder, hiding her face in Yui's chest.
— Hikigaya, what the hell? — Ah, Snowball has arrived.
She stood in the doorway, piercing me with her gaze.
I massaged my brow ridges with my fingers and, mentally sending everyone on a long walking trip, let out a short chuckle.
The desire to realize hidden ambitions, huh?
— Isshiki, what happened? Hachiman! — Yuigahama, having failed to get any reaction from the schoolgirl, looked at me. — What did you say?!
I got up from my seat, watching the cinnamon buns scattered on the floor out of the corner of my eye.
— I gave her the good news, — I quirked the corners of my lips.
— News that made her cry? — Yes, Yukino, hiss some more for greater effect. I desperately need that right now.
— People react to happiness differently. Or are you upset, Isshiki, to learn that you won't have to become the Student Council President?
The girl reacted almost instantly, stopping her sniveling and raising her tear-stained face, on which undisguised surprise was readable.
— You found a candidate? — Doggy's eyes widened.
Apparently, Snowball was also not expecting such a turn of events, her mouth slightly agape in astonishment.
— And I managed to persuade them, can you imagine? — Instead of a smile, a grimace involuntarily crept onto my face. — With incredible effort, of course, but what won't you do for your beloved club?
Most likely, the amount of sarcasm that flashed in my last sentence hinted to Yukinoshita about the person's "identity."
— Hachiman, you... — she trailed off in disbelief, not finishing her sentence.
I shrugged.
— Are there any other options? — Walking past Isshiki, who was still sniffling but no longer shedding streams of tears, and Yui, who was blinking at me in bewilderment, I stopped in front of the club's head. — Will you let me pass?
Yukinoshita, realizing she was still standing in the doorway, automatically moved aside.
— Where are you going? — Yuigahama jumped to her feet.
— To Hiratsuka, — gripping the doorknob, I turned halfway, looking indifferently at her and Iroha. — I need to officially declare my candidacy.
And, without waiting for an answer, I closed the door behind me, cutting off Yui's remark.
Freezing in the middle of the corridor, I sighed loudly.
Kami, if you truly exist, I ask for only one thing.
Don't you dare put the thought in that first-year's head that she changed my mind with her tears.
Seriously. Don't.
EPILOGUE
— And now we hand the floor over to the new Student Council President — Hachiman Hikigaya! — Amidst sparse applause, Shiromeguri smiled broadly, gesturing for me to step up to the podium.
Instinctively adjusting my tie, I closed my eyes for a moment, gathering my thoughts.
There was no turning back now.
Approaching Meguri, I took the kindly offered microphone from her hands and, taking the designated spot, slowly surveyed the crowded hall, barely finding any familiar faces among those present.
— You know, I'd like to start my speech with the hackneyed phrase: "my friends," but, let's be honest, none of you here are interested in listening to another set of meaningless words, written according to a strict template, right? Especially since almost none of you truly know me, and could there be a more suitable opportunity to properly get acquainted? After all, nothing influences our attitude toward a person as much as the first impression we form of them.
Totsuka and Zaimokuza, sitting in the second row, nodded in agreement, and Yoshiteru, without a hint of shyness, raised his thumb into the air, trying to jump to his feet, but he was timely restrained by Kawasaki, who struck him on the head with the edge of her palm. Surprisingly, the fanatical writer had abandoned his usual appearance today, wearing his official school uniform — which, judging by the bulging jacket, no longer fit him.
— Although, on the other hand, people's opinions are easy to change. A word here, an action there, and, voilà, a completely new image appears before your eyes, one you haven't seen before. The most vivid example: myself. Could those who have known me for a long time have imagined that at some point, I, Hachiman Hikigaya, who is called a sociopath, misanthrope, and loner behind my back, would be addressing you as the President?
Perhaps, if the hall wasn't dead silent, broken only by my calm voice, Yuigahama would have definitely shouted something out, but, either succumbing to the atmosphere or not wanting to embarrass Snowball, who for some reason had her palm pressed to her face, she limited herself to a wide smile. Still, I'd bet a hundred yen I noticed the corners of Yukino's lips slightly turn up.
— But, well, I'll stop singing my own praises. After all, you will have time to fully appreciate all my wonderful qualities and, undoubtedly, fall in love with my marvelous personality.
At this point, Yumiko coughed, hiding her face in her palms and shaking with a fit of silent laughter. Ebina, barely suppressing a smile, patted her back gently, while Hayato, positioned with his loyal followers at a small distance from the girls, gave me an irritated look.
— To voice my own obligations to the academy, along the lines of: "I'll make everything better than it was," or "I'll be the coolest President in history" — I consider absolutely meaningless and, most importantly, sufficiently dishonest. Because I am not going to change what worked perfectly before me, nor am I going to jump through hoops to prove something to someone. First and foremost, I value peace and order, and my main goal and duty is to achieve that within the walls of our educational institution.
My gaze fell upon Isshiki, who had been chatting cheerfully with her classmates earlier. It's funny how quickly she managed to restore normal relations with them, considering the setup they pulled. However, social interaction is an incredibly complex process that I wish to delve into as little as possible. It's settled, and that's good.
— Despite my reluctance to follow templates, I still want to pay tribute to the people who supported me throughout this journey. I'll refrain from naming names to avoid embarrassing myself, but I think they all understand perfectly well.
Hiratsuka smiled proudly, crossing her arms over her chest. Although I will never forget her astonished face the moment I burst into her office with a request to add my name to the list of candidates. We barely managed to extinguish the fallen cigarette butt, or her reports would have been crying. By the way, I should remind her about the favor she owes me. I wonder if Haruno will agree to another date for three?
— In conclusion, I will say only one thing: we can only understand youth when the age of youth has already passed. Therefore, youth is a lie. But that doesn't mean it didn't happen.
After I lowered the microphone, a tense silence continued in the hall. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the emotions of the former head: Shiromeguri was looking at me with clear horror in her eyes.
At that very moment, loud, solitary claps rang out.
Turning my head toward their source, I couldn't suppress a smile.
Komachi, despite her height, proudly stood out among the others, ignoring the glances and continuing to applaud. Truly, if there is anyone in the world ready to support me in any situation, it's only my little darling.
However, I didn't have to wait long — like a chain reaction, her actions were quickly picked up by others until the entire room was filled with the sound of applause.
Descending from the podium, I bowed and handed the microphone to Meguri.
— Hikigaya. What are you doing? — she whispered.
Instead of answering, I grinned contentedly.
— What did you expect?...
****
Alternative epilogues WILL BE!
Expect official and unofficial epilogues from Haruno, Miura, and Shizuka soon.