Your POV.
At the institute, end of shift...
It's almost five in the morning when our wingbeats slow and we land right in front of the side gates of the U.A. The air is cold and humid, physically I feel decidedly tired, but my head is even more crowded than the sky we've flown through and which now lies above us.
I turn to Hawks-sensei and look at him, just long enough to say hello, but it doesn't take long to notice: his expression is different. Almost disappointed that the shift is already over. And honestly, I'm disappointed too, since I was really starting to enjoy myself. Spending time with Hawks-sensei when you're sad is like taking a medicine that can become truly powerful and make you feel better instantly. His smile, then, is no longer a celebrity smile, a cover model's smile... but it's sincere. Sweet and warm.
"Hey, baby," he says, not using my name, as he does when he wants to hide his emotions behind a joke. I look up at him, with a tired but genuine smile.
"You did a good job today."
I nod, unsure whether to thank him or change the subject. Unfortunately, I'm too full of thoughts, words piling up one on top of the other...my feelings have amplified, and I don't know how to respond.
"Thank you, sensei. Goodnight."
That's all I can say.
"Goodnight, Eri. Rest well."
The way he says it, though, is different. His tone is different. It seems more polite than before; he's not flirting. It seems…real. And it affects me more than the flight itself.
I look up and see him flapping away, and the sound fades in a few seconds as he recedes. I'm left alone in the dimly lit courtyard, the wind still messing up my hair, as if trying to keep me awake. I sigh and step inside, pushing open the enormous glass door. The hallway is quiet at that hour, but a few low lights are kept on for safety. There's a wonderful smell in the air, and I recognize it every time I cross the threshold. It's always the same, for years now. I think back to the news about Ryota and Mirko, and smile. Ryota stopped being such a jerk to me a while ago, perhaps for this very reason. I already know Tess is asleep, probably cuddled up to her giant All Might plushie, her favorite, so I don't feel like waking her up to tell her what I learned about Ryota. I couldn't even talk to her right now, anyway. I'll call her tomorrow morning, right after class.
I've barely taken two steps beyond the building's door when I see him...in the dim light. Aizawa-sensei is there, leaning against the wall. He wasn't expecting me...or maybe he was, I don't know. I can't figure it out anymore. I stride down the corridor, dragging my backpack with me out of exhaustion. As I get closer, he looks up at me. He's not wearing a scarf, and his hair is loose. My heart skips a beat when I look into his eyes, and when I smell his scent wafting through my nostrils from halfway down the hall. His gaze seems tired, but his eyes are alert. As always.
"You came back later than expected," he says, in a low, neutral tone. Too neutral.
I nod, clutching the strap of my backpack.
"Hawks-sensei wanted to…show me some things."
My sentence comes out broken, and I don't even know why. It bothers me to justify myself. It bothers me…that it sounds like an excuse. I wonder why he wants to know all these things about me…but above all, what is he doing awake, leaning against a wall, at this hour?
He nods slightly. I know him well enough to understand what he means: I noticed you're fine, that you're back in one piece. And that's the most important thing, even if it's not the only thing on my mind. How I wish he could say that, though. But I'm so tired I don't even have the strength to blush from shyness or... to be embarrassed.
"How did work go?"
I stare at him longer than I should. Why is he asking me these things? I breathe slowly. I have to concentrate not to look him in the eye for too long.
"Good. Better than I expected. Hawks…he showed me what my quirk can really do. He helped me understand that it's not just for healing people…but that I can learn to save myself, too."
He tilts his head slightly. His gaze lights up slightly, as if he's genuinely interested in what I'm about to say. In his eyes, I also notice a sort of...pride masked by concern. And something else, too, which I can't quite put my finger on.
"You've made progress, then."
"Yes," I reply.
I know, in theory I should smile. Or I should say thank you. I should tell him I'm no longer afraid of doing too much, or too little. That for the first time I've understood that my power isn't a bomb to be defused, but a helping hand to those who are falling... and want to get up again. But all I can say, as you've seen, is 'yes.'
We remain in silence. A silence that weighs on me, that tightens my throat and suffocates me. And I...I can't take it. I can't stand here, in front of him, as if nothing had happened. He, whom I consider my love, the man of my life, who makes me feel both safe and vulnerable at the same time. He, the man who makes my heart tremble and makes me suffer like mad. Not after the wonderful evening spent with Hawks-sensei, not with the memory of the feeling I felt during the flight still burning in my chest.
I look down...
"I have to go now. Excuse me."
I don't wait for his answer, not because I don't care...in fact, I care too much. I take a step forward and pass him, then another. And before I turn to head for the locker room, I hear his voice behind me, low, almost inaudible.
"Hey..."
I stop there, without turning around. My hands begin to sweat, and I hold them outstretched at my sides.
"It's nice... to hear you're feeling better."
I close my eyes. Me? Feeling better? Maybe that's what I make others believe, or maybe it's simply what I show on the outside. But I don't feel like explaining...it would all be pointless. I take a deep breath, then open my eyes again.
"Goodnight, Aizawa-sensei."
He doesn't answer. And as I walk away, I feel the pain in my chest not going away. Not diminishing. My eyes sting again, from the tears... and I don't know what to do.
The next morning...
When I open my eyes again, it's already noon. The light is coming in from outside, and I realize how dim it is: maybe it's about to rain. My arms are sore and aching (flying all night isn't that easy), and my head is still full of...him. Too full.
I get up to draw the curtains to the sides of the window, and yawn heartily. My stomach growls a little too much as I head for the stairs to go down to the kitchen. The smell of gravy and roast meat fills the room.
Mom and Dad are already here.
"Good morning, darling!" Mom comes over to me and kisses me on the cheek, a sweet, tender kiss. Her eyes are different than usual, she seems happier than usual, or maybe it's the effect I have on her when I come home early and eat with them. She's in a really good mood...maybe too much so.
Dad Mirio, on the other hand, turns to me with his cup in hand and smiles as if he'd just won the lottery.
"How's our star doing? Busy night, huh?"
I look at him, smiling.
"A little…" I mutter, sitting down at the table. "Hawks-sensei isn't exactly…calm." I finish the sentence, glancing at Mom out of the corner of my eye. I see her smile as she pours some milk into my favorite mug and holds it out to me.
"I imagine! With that peacock way of acting…" Then she stops, looks me in the eyes more closely, and her smile fades…slightly.
"Honey, your eyes are sad."
My heart stings, and I jump slightly after that sentence. It's always like that with her…she always sees through me. (The same thing happens with Ryota, too.)
"No, Mom, don't worry. I'm just tired."
I know, it's a lie. But it's for the best. I don't want them to worry about me...I have to learn to manage my problems on my own. But before my mother could say anything else, my phone vibrates. The display reads: TESS-CALL.
Great timing, I think. Perfect.
"Sorry, I'll go upstairs for a moment. It's Tess," I murmur.
They both nod as I get up, grab my phone from the coffee table, and head up to my room, taking the stairs two at a time. I close the door softly behind me, take a deep breath, and collapse onto the bed, burying my face in the pillow for a second, just long enough to recover. Then I answer.
"Oh, finally! Are you alive?"
Her voice is clear, and I can tell she's been awake for a while. It makes me smile.
"Well, I got back this morning at after 5:00. I'm trying not to fall asleep standing up."
"You should have stayed in bed a little longer, dammit!"
"I'm trying. But I have something to tell you first."
I immediately feel her straighten up, mentally and physically. From the phone, I hear the shouts of Reina and Kaito from our class; they're arguing over silly things again, most likely throwing something at each other. I sigh.
"Okay, go ahead. Tell me this is stupid and not another romantic disaster, please," Tess says.
"No, it's stupid. I mean…I think."
I take a breath, then blurt it out:
"Hawks told me Ryota is dating Rumi Usagiyama."
Three seconds of silence. I only hear a "fuck you" shouted by Reina and directed at Kaito. I smile.
"...WHAT?...WHO?"
I hold the phone away from my ear.
"You understand perfectly," I add, shrugging.
"RUMI. USAGIYAMA. Oh, yes…Mirko. The sexiest assassin rabbit in the agency?!"
"Tess…" I laugh. I put my hand over my mouth. "Don't scream, please."
"NO. I CAN'T. I CAN'T. Ryota?! Your Ryota?! That crazy hot stepbrother of yours? Damn, lucky her! I wonder if they've already have sex."
"Obviously…"
Tess grins, and I can almost see her raise a hand to her forehead. I know her too well by now!
"This explains EVERYTHING. It explains why he disappears, why he's always nervous, why he avoids you when you ask for rides… oh my God, Eri. That's why he said no to the party! He was supposed to meet her, not the gym!"
Here it is, the awkward pause. Then she continues:
"We can't not talk about this in person."
"Indeed," I reply. "Shall we see each other today? Before I die of sleep, if possible."
"Yes, of course! Especially since there's a party tonight…"
I pause for a second. "...what party?"
"The one they organized at the institute. Professors, older students, pro heroes… they'll all be there."
Oh perfect, I think. Just what I needed: a party while I look like a zombie.
"Okay, then, shall we meet first? Are you coming to my place or should we meet outside?"
"I'll come, so we can check your outfits too. 'Cause you don't show up dressed like you're working the night shift, right? I'll tell you right away."
"But…"
"No buts. I'll be there in an hour."
She hangs up, and I remain silent, the phone still pressed to my ear. Then I turn around, look at the ceiling, and sigh. I'm dead tired, but for the first time in days, I can say I feel almost normal.