"They are coming…!"
"BE READY EVERYONE…"
"Gods, there are so many of them!"
"Are we enough to take them all?!"
Adventurers talked among each other, each one looked shaken and uncertain.
Kazuma looked even more lost at how he was forced to come out of the town along with everyone else, and yet he doesn't know why?
Adventurers' weapons were checked. Armour clinked. Faces were grim. Kazuma's mood became even more solemn. He readied himself like a war was about to happen.
So, I glanced around nervously. "So… is this a demon invasion?"
Aqua crossed her arms, chin high. "Huh... of course not, what are you thinking in that head of yours, Scumzuma?"
"Stop calling me that, I told you all that business with Chris was a god-for-honest mistake." He chided.
Megumin bounced on her heels, staff ready. "Hehehehe... let them come, I have my explosion to test. Thanks to Orion, I have been testing out different ways to use my explosion magic. I am ready." She grinned.
Darkness was already breathing a little too hard, eyes shining. "An unknown threat… surrounded by comrades… this is quite stimulating."
Orion, standing among them, just stood there like he couldn't care less. A single downside of knowing what gonna happen is that he wouldn't be surprised at anything. Of course, he knew what was gonna happen and thus he wasn't tense at all.
The town bells rang again.
Luna stepped forward, smiling brightly.
"Attention, adventurers of Axel! The annual Cabbage Capture Festival is about to begin!"
Silence.
"…What?"
As if on cue, the sky shimmered—and then cabbages appeared. Dozens. Hundreds. Flying. Spinning. Dodging nets like trained assassins.
"CATCH THEM ALL!"
The field erupted into chaos.
Orion was snickering on the side upon seeing Kazuma and his own goddess, baffled, looking at the flying cabbages.
[Is this some kind of joke?]
Marika saw the flying vegetables with a lost look.
"No jokes, goddess, just gods blessing to this wonderful world." He grinned.
Adventurers charged, tripped, tackled one another. Nets flew. People screamed about freshness and market value. Aqua dove headfirst at a cabbage, missed completely, and face-planted into the dirt.
"WHY ARE VEGETABLES THIS FAST?!"
Kazuma chased them down as well, he was extra motivated the moment he heard just how much price was on each cabbage's head. He chased the one closer to him only for it to zigzag midair and smack him square in the forehead. Megumin tried to cast Explosion before being physically restrained by three people shouting about "Wasting food."
Orion, meanwhile, stood calmly.
A cabbage zipped past him.
He reached out, touched it—
—and it vanished.
Another flew by. Gone.
Another. Gone.
Within seconds, cabbages were disappearing around him like they were being abducted by an invisible god of groceries.
Nearby adventurers slowed, staring.
"…Is he cheating?"
Orion opened his inventory, glanced at the rapidly increasing count, and smiled.
"Orion Star Storm, you're gonna be a rich man from now on..."
Behind him, Aqua wailed, covered in mud and cabbage leaves. "THAT'S NOT FAIR!"
Orion laughed, watching another cabbage vanish mid-flight.
"This world," he muttered, "is wonderful."
He honestly was having fun.
--<>--
By the time Orion stepped into the Axel Guild the next morning, the atmosphere had already changed.
Whispers rippled through the hall like a contagious disease.
"That's him…"
"The cabbage guy…"
"I heard he caught more than the top three teams combined…"
"No, no, he didn't catch them—he made them disappear…I was there, I saw it."
Orion's jovial mood from making big cash immediately plummeted upon hearing the murmurings, he paused mid-step. Slowly, cautiously, he turned around.
'Who the fuck leaked my earnings...' He already knew what would have happened. Irritation clear on his face.
Every adventurer in the guild was staring at him.
"…I should've worn a hood," he muttered. Lowering his head, he made a beeline towards his team.
He shouldn't have.
Kazuma appeared at his side instantly, far too cheerful. "Ooooh, Orion~ my dear, trusted companion~ You look like a man blessed by fortune today."
Megumin materialized on his other side, arms crossed. "A celebration is in order. A grand one. Preferably involving food. Lots of food."
'Mission abort... MISSION ABORT, danger ahead...' Orion's head shouted with alarm.
Darkness joined them with refined grace, smiling politely. "It would be socially appropriate for the most successful participant to host a gathering. I would, of course, contribute if necessary."
'You too, ain't you like super rich...' Orion was speechless.
Aqua slammed both hands on the counter. "I'M BROKE."
"Whaaaaa...." Big fat tears dropped down her face.
Everyone flinched.
"I lost all my money on that bet, Orion... help me!" she wailed. "I thought the cabbages would double in size at noon! How was I supposed to know they'd just rot?!"
Orion pinched the bridge of his nose. "And how is that my problem?"
Aqua pointed dramatically. "YOU'RE RICH."
"My question stands," Orion said calmly. "How the fuck is it my problem?"
Kazuma nodded sagely. "That's rich people talk right there."
"Forget it, I'm not giving Eris to either of you..." Orion chided.
That's when Aqua's expression shifted. Her tears vanished. A dangerous smile crept onto her face.
"Ohhh, that's how it is?" she said sweetly, slinging an arm around Kazuma's neck. "Hey Kazuma, remember that one time you—"
'Whisper... Whisper...'
"WAIT," Kazuma yelped. "WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT—"
"—moaning beside me—"
"STOP."
"—and tried to lift my—"
"I'LL PAY!" Kazuma screamed. "I'LL PAY FOR HER DEBT!"
Aqua beamed instantly. "Yay!"
Orion stared at them, deadpan.
"Perhaps, lingering around them really affecting me."
[I said so...]
'Ah...
---<>---
Even after Kazuma paid off Aqua's loan—with tears, bargaining, and the visible loss of a piece of his soul—Aqua was still completely, utterly, impressively broke.
"How is that even possible?" Orion asked, staring at her as she slumped over a guild table.
"I used the rest to invest," Aqua said proudly.
"In what?" Kazuma asked cautiously.
"…a rock."
"A ROCK?!"
Silence.
Thus, the party took a quest. More like had to take the quest.
Purify a lake infested with large crocodiles. Perfect for an arch priest like her.
The job description sounded dangerous, the reward sounded decent. And Aqua, as the resident water goddess, sounded useful—at least in theory.
Kazuma's plan formed within seconds.
"We put Aqua in an iron cage," he said, tapping the parchment, "lower her into the filthy lake, and let her do her purification thing."
Aqua blinked. "Wait."
"Then," Kazuma continued, ignoring her, "even if the crocodiles come, they can't even touch her."
"WAIT."
Orion crossed his arms. "Doable... and even if she gets eaten, she can always revive herself."
"Yes... Wait... Ho-how do you know that...!" Kazuma asked with a shaky voice. Aqua being a real goddess was not known by others. At least until now.
"Hahaha... just joking. You know, she always claims she's a goddess and all..."
"Hahaha... yeah nice one."
In between their combined laughter, Aqua screamed on the side. Loudly. Repeatedly. Spiritually.
In the end, it didn't matter, they went ahead with the plan.
Aqua was put inside an iron cage, and left in the lake.
The lake was purified. The water became crystal clear. The crocodiles fled in terror. Though not before giving the residential water goddess multiple heart attacks.
Now she lay curled into a shaking ball inside the cage, clutching the bars and sobbing.
"I'M NOT COMING OUT," she yelled. "THE WORLD IS TOO BIG. IT'S TOO DANGEROUS!"
So they didn't argue.
They carried the cage—with Aqua still inside—back to town.
That was when they met Kyōya Mitsurugi.
The protagonist who came here before Kazuma, similarly deceived by Aqua.
Golden armor. Heroic posture. Sword gleaming with unnecessary brilliance.
And that sword... that was the legendary sword, Gram. A powerful weapon granted by Aqua.
His eyes locked onto Aqua instantly.
"Aqua-sama!" he gasped. "So you truly are here!"
Misunderstanding took place, just like it was supposed to.
Mitsurugi pointed his sword at Kazuma. "Release her at once. I challenge you to a duel!"
Kazuma stared at him deadpan. "Dude, I'm not holding her in, I asked her to come out, she won't!"
Orion sighed and leaned against the cage. "At this point, I too tried to see canon play out again and again... might as well make some changes to spice things up." He grumbled.
The duel lasted exactly three seconds.
Kazuma shouted, "STEAL!"
There was a flash.
Mitsurugi froze.
His sword was gone.
Kazuma was holding it.
"…EH?" Mitsurugi said, staring at his empty hands.
Kazuma immediately bolted. "THANK YOU FOR YOUR BUSINESS!"
Later, back at the guild, Kazuma tried to sell the sword for quick cash.
Orion stopped him.
"I'll buy it," Orion said.
Kazuma squinted. "You? Why?"
"Because," Orion replied calmly, "I plan to return it."
Kazuma stared. "That's the dumbest thing you've ever said."
"Discount," Orion added.
"…Half price?"
"Done."
Orion took the sword, already thinking ahead.
Kyōya Mitsurugi wouldn't forget this.
[Why buy it?]
"Cause he might be the only decent adventurer here who can teach me swordsmanship... I have to do something to pass time, right..."
xXx
A/N : This particular chapter was more for story progression then actual content. I though about just skipping it but there are few people who havan't seen Konosuba so they might not understand was was going on and thus I had to write it.
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