"WHAT!… you're an adventurer class… why in the world did you choose that?" Megumin shouted with a startled look, like pondering what overcame her most ordinary team member to choose that class of all.
This was a few days later. Axel's guild hall was as noisy as ever—clanking mugs, overlapping complaints, and Aqua loudly insisting she deserved free drinks for "divine reasons."
Megumin finally made her way into the team. In fact, Orion was too in the team, but they never actually made an official confirmation.
But everyone knew that both Orion and Megumin now were part of Team Kazuma. Well, they were calling it that until a better name was suggested.
"I had other options, yes. However, the Adventurer class also had its advantages, like being able to learn skills from all other classes. It's pretty cool honestly." Orion shrugged.
Megumin couldn't understand the logic behind Orion's choice. Why choose the weakest class if he had better options. Same was the reaction with both Kazuma, who actually wished to get any other class but Adventurer, and Luna, who repeatedly tried to convince him to think again about his class.
Orion didn't care though. He wasn't here in this world for very long; in that case, he'd rather just learn whatever useful skills he could before going back.
Megumin snorted. Perhaps this most ordinary member of their team wasn't as ordinary as they thought.
They were chatting away nonsensically. There wasn't much else to do in this internet-lack era.
"Forget about me, why do you only use explosion magic… can't you use any other form of magic. Wouldn't that be more…"
"NO…" Before even Orion could complete his sentence, Megumin immediately shook her head, not even ready to listen to anything related to this topic.
"I'll only use explosion magic. Explosion magic is my life." Megumin shook her head quickly, cutely in fact…
'Sigh… knew it.'
"Okay… okay, explosion magic it is. But do tell, is it not possible to use explosion magic in different ways, like in a way you can use that spell multiple times a day and change what kind of damage you output…" Orion wisely asked.
Even back when he saw the anime, he wondered why Megumin couldn't just use explosion in smaller bursts, if she was hell-bent on using only explosion magic.
Megumin blinked, mouth half open like ready to give a response, but that logical question stunned the loli.
"Eh… hmmm, I don't know. I never thought about it." She muttered to herself, then genuinely fell into thinking.
Say what you will about Megumin, she was no ordinary mage on the path of explosion. There was a big possibility that she might really develop a way to use explosion magic much more effectively.
Something even Orion himself was interested in learning.
Speaking of ordinary, nothing much was out of the ordinary—if anything ordinary ever existed in this town at all.
Orion sat at the table with the rest of them, half-listening, half-wondering how his life had derailed so spectacularly that this was now his normal.
His original goal was to gather alliances, fight the headless knight, beat him, and then go back to Orario.
But the time zone he arrived in was a bit early. He now had to wait for another few months before Beldia actually showed up. He now even had a team and a place to live, so he pondered what else he should do in the meanwhile.
He suddenly recalled that he wished to get good at swordsmanship.
'Ah… but where will I get a good swordsmanship teacher here.' He pursed his lips. Most likely, he had to leave Axel if he wished to find a true swordsmanship teacher for himself.
He looked around, wondering if any of the adventurers here would be any good. Most weren't.
He looked at his own party. Aqua was a no-go, Megumin was still in a daydream about the new direction of explosion magic he showed her. And Kazuma…
Kazuma was mid-rant about quest payouts when the doors to the guild hall opened.
A blonde girl stepped inside. This was, of course, Darkness.
Orion's bored eyes lit up the moment he saw her. But then he remembered she was the most hopeless one when it came to swordsmanship and sighed.
Darkness was tall, striking, clad in pristine white-and-yellow armor that looked far too expensive for Axel. Her posture was rigid, noble even, like a knight straight out of a storybook. For a brief, blessed moment, Kazuma thought—finally, a normal person.
Then Chris popped out from behind her, waving cheerfully.
"Hey, Kazuma! Long time no see!"
Kazuma groaned. "Why do I feel like my life is about to get worse?"
Chris ignored him and gestured proudly to the blonde. "This is Darkness. She's a Crusader. Super strong, and she's been having trouble finding a party. So I thought, why not introduce her to your team."
Darkness stepped forward, eyes shining. "It is an honor to meet you. Please, allow me to fight alongside you and endure unspeakable suffering for the sake of your team."
Kazuma blinked.
"…What?"
"I wish to be struck down by monsters," Darkness continued earnestly. "To be covered in mud, broken, humiliated—"
[Stay away from that one as well.]
"Hai, goddess." Orion grinned.
"Nope." Kazuma shot to his feet. "Absolutely not. I already have a useless goddess, a walking nuke with one spell, and a guy who talks to animals. I don't need another problem child."
Aqua gasped. "Hey! What do you mean 'useless'?"
Megumin crossed her arms. "At least I contribute."
"Exactly. Last I checked, I got all the kills in our recent hunts. If you're talking useless, first involve yourself in the conversation, buddy." Orion added.
Kazuma's face turned red. 'Yup… never taking another problem child, NEVER!'
Darkness tilted her head, looking almost disappointed. "Ah… rejection. How cruel. My heart trembles."
Kazuma physically recoiled. "Is she enjoying this? Ewww!"
Chris sighed. "Come on, Kazuma. She's actually really reliable. Please?"
Before Kazuma could refuse again, Darkness's gaze shifted—and locked onto Orion.
Her eyes widened.
'Oh no…!' Orion's smile faded instantly.
"…You."
Orion stiffened. Slowly, he turned. "Me?"
"I saw you a few nights ago," Darkness said. "At that high-end restaurant near the plaza."
The table went silent.
Aqua's head snapped around. Megumin's eyes narrowed. Kazuma's soul left his body.
"…High-end," Aqua repeated slowly. "You got money, Orion…"
Kazuma leaned forward, hands shaking. "Restaurant?" He stressed the word.
"There is only one restaurant in Axel, and it's several tiers above my pay grade…"
Darkness nodded enthusiastically. "Yes! An incredibly expensive one. I was there on a… personal matter. You were dining with an exceptionally beautiful lady."
Aqua slammed her hands on the table. "EXCEPTIONALLY BEAUTIFUL?!"
Megumin leaned in. "Who was she?"
Kazuma stared at Orion like he'd betrayed humanity. "You had money?!"
"Kazuma…"
"You had a girl?!"
"Let me explain first…"
"You had a DATE!"
Kazuma felt like something inside him broke…
'Why? Why, god, why. Why is it always the handsome ones who get everything. WHY?'
Orion opened his mouth. Closed it. Considered running.
Darkness, utterly unaware of the danger, continued. "What stood out most was that you kept calling her 'mother.'"
The guild hall exploded.
"—MOTHER?!"
Kazuma grabbed Orion by the collar. "EXPLAIN. RIGHT. NOW. YOU HAVE FOUND YOURSELF A SUGAR MOMMY! HUH… WHERE CAN I GET ONE."
"TELLLL MEEEE"
Aqua circled him like a shark. "Is she rich?! Is she single?! Did she adopt you? Any interest in a goddess daughter!"
Megumin squinted. "Is this some advanced noble roleplay?"
Orion looked to the ceiling, silently begging for mercy. Marika, invisible to all but him, wore a knowing smile.
"Ahem." Orion said weakly. "That's just a lady I know, there is nothing more to it."
Kazuma narrowed his eyes. "You're hiding something. I can smell it while Aqua is standing right beside me."
"Yeah… you tell him, Kazu… Hey... what do you mean!"
Before the interrogation could escalate into a public execution, Chris clapped her hands. "Anyway! Kazuma, you said you wanted to learn one, right?"
Kazuma froze. "…You can teach me?"
Chris grinned. "Of course. Thief-class skill. It's called STEAL."
Kazuma's eyes sparkled. "Teach me. Immediately."
Minutes later, they stood in a corner of the guild hall. Chris demonstrated once, gracefully activating the skill.
"Focus on what you want," she explained.
Kazuma rubbed his hands together. "Oh, I'm very focused."
He activated STEAL.
There was a flash of light.
Kazuma looked down at his hand.
Silk.
Lace.
Everyone slowly turned toward Chris.
She stared at the empty space where her underwear used to be.
"…Give those back."
Kazuma screamed. "YEEEEEEEEE—"
Aqua gave Kazuma a pointed look. Megumin covered her face, shoulders shaking. Darkness looked jealous?
"Scumzuma…"
"Incredible… a single skill capable of such shame…"
[Will you not reconsider this decision of yours? I ask you—nay, I implore you—think on it once more. Forsake this party and find more sound-minded people.]
Orion pinched the bridge of his nose.
"Hey Chris… I have points too. Do you think you can teach me as well." he muttered.
Chris's eyes immediately narrowed upon recalling what Kazuma did with that skill.
"I've got better things to do than stealing girls' panties…" Orion was deadpan.
Chris turned to him, resigned. "You want to learn it as well?"
"Yeah," Orion said. "But without… that."
So she teach him as well.
He activated STEAL.
A neat pouch of coins appeared in his hand.
Kazuma stared. "You stole money?"
Orion shrugged. "I aimed properly."
Kazuma collapsed to his knees. "Why am I like this."
"What do you think, what will you become, Kazuma. Think of money and money shall come."
xXx
A/N : Honestly speaking, Konosuba was never about a story, it was always the interaction between this characters. I tried recreating it, but won't do it too much. Gotta go aback to Orario as well.
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