Fontaine + Inazuma Joint Strike: Shelling Mondstadt?!
Knights of Favonius HQ — Afternoon Tea
Jean and Lisa sipped tea as usual.
Jean sighed lightly:
"So… Barbatos' identity is finally exposed."
Until today, only a small handful knew the truth:
Jean, Lisa, Kaeya, Diluc, Traveller, and Paimon.
Now?
All of Teyvat.
Lisa smiled, twirling her cup:
"Ever since the light-screen appeared…
nothing stays hidden for long.
Archons included."
Jean nodded— then suddenly stiffened:
"Lisa… Barbara will be okay… right?"
Barbara wasn't just faithful.
She was the most devout believer.
Lisa teased:
"What, you think she'll grab that enhanced Sky AK-47
and hunt down Barbatos?"
Jean instantly sat upright:
"Lisa! No disrespect toward Barbatos!"
Lisa waved lazily:
"Relax~ Our little cutie has grown.
Compared to her…
you should worry about Mondstadt's public situation instead."
Jean fell silent… then nodded.
"I'll handle it."
Favonius Cathedral
The shockwave here was the strongest.
Their beloved, graceful, holy Anemo Archon…
Was a drunken bard in a green hat.
A record-scratch moment for faith.
Barbara collapsed into a sitting heap:
"No… this is wrong…
That bard cannot be HIM…"
Her brain could not compute the contradiction:
Perfect holy god
vs
Tiny drunk wind hobo
Anyone would crash.
But this wasn't the old fragile Barbara anymore.
The Barbara who learned to heal AND shoot.
"If medicine fails—
we use bullets."
The War Nun recovered her sanity minute by minute.
Details clicked:
The voice helping them against Dvalin…
Traveller and Paimon's weird evasions…
Jean's awkwardness…
"They all knew.
Only I was left in the dark."
Her smile gradually returned.
A very… dangerous one.
Supernal Cross-World Chat
Klee: So the singing big bro is the Anemo God! Yay! ✨
Rosaria: No wonder he smelled different. Case closed.
Jean: Rosaria. It's Barbatos.
Diona: Why must the god of that awful drink be a drunk? My anti-alcohol project is doomed!!
Yanfei: Destroying Mondstadt's alcohol trade… yeah that's harder than Hu Tao's business plans.
Hu Tao: Hey! My business will definitely succeed!! 😤
Ayaka joined politely:
"Unexpected that Mr. Venti is Lord Barbatos."
Alice:
"Heh~ and doesn't he seem… unserious~?"
Ayaka coughed twice:
"Ahem… The Archon must have his reasons!"
Venti: 👍 That's my princess!
Dvalin: Oh please. Everyone knows you're a drunk who never works.
Paimon: "Ehe~ ehe~ bar time!" That's all you do!
Lumine: Hey Barbara, aren't you going to greet your dear Archon? 🐶✨
Barbara: …
Jean: Sister??
Barbara: I'm fine. 😊
Alice stirred chaos:
"Oh? I thought you'd unload that Sky AK-47 into him for ruining your god-image!"
Furina smelled war:
"If needed, we can dispatch Navia to shell Mondstadt City~ 😈"
Neuvillette, dead serious:
"Interfering in foreign affairs is wrong.
However, eliminating a usurper is acceptable."
Yae Miko:
"And with Ayaka's Any-Door, you can launch a surprise strike directly~"
Navia:
"…Why am I suddenly an artillery unit???"
Venti panicked:
"STOP! You can't fire cannons at my city!!
And don't kidnap my faithful believer!!"
Barbara:
"No worries, Wen— I mean Lord Barbatos. 😊
I'm not that easy to sway."
Lyney shivered:
"That smile… I've seen this smile…
I fear for my life…"
Clorinde grimaced:
"Last time: Cyno melted.
Yesterday: Neuvillette froze.
Today: Lyney?"
Neuvillette: 😊
Lyney: "WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!"
Venti shrank back:
"Barbara… please don't smile like that… it's terrifying."
Barbara:
"But this is my devotion. 😊"
Everyone:
"Nuclear-Kindness Barbara has ascended."
Stormterror's Lair
Dvalin: "She wants to punish you, you know."
Venti: "Why?? My image has always been like this!"
Dvalin: "Yes, but mortals imagined you as majestic. You… are not."
Venti: "She won't actually shoot me… right…?"
The bard gulped.
Barbara's AK-47 memories haunted him.
Faith betrayal hurts.
Bullets hurt more.
Arthur's Studio
He was dying of laughter.
"Mondstadt wanted to blitz Fontaine.
Now Fontaine + Inazuma want to blitz Mondstadt??"
These troublemakers…
truly content-creators of chaos.
He cleared his throat and continued:
"Formal Review — Category 1
A God Who Loves His People."
Everyone stopped clowning and listened.
Arthur continued:
"Every Archon loves mortals.
But each love takes a different form.
Barbatos is one of the two Original Archons still in power.
His story is Mondstadt's history—
starting from the founding of the nation…"
Chat Reaction
Lumine: Two original Archons? Meaning… gods can be replaced?
Venti: Of course. Gods have limits.
Ei: For example — the fall of Khaenri'ah.
Zhongli: Successors inherit the throne when a god perishes.
Nahida: That's how I became the Dendro Archon.
Furina: And me… After Egeria.
Ei: Same here.
General Sara panicked:
"The Shogun is a successor?!"
The whole chat blew up—
the Archons dropping succession lore casually.
Yae Miko winked:
"Ei's situation is special. You'll see soon."
Lumine asked:
"Then which nations haven't changed Archons?"
Ningguang proudly:
"Liyue, of course!
Rex Lapis has stood with us for thousands of years!"
Alice:
"Hehe~
almost got dethroned by Keqing though~"
Keqing nearly died:
"D-DISRESPECTING THE GEO LORD?!
It was just… new political theory!!"
Xiangling:
"…Keqing defending religion??" 😳
Lumine: "Hate to say it… but same thing."
Zhongli: "Indeed, in universally rational terms." 😌
Keqing: "YOU THREE STOP GANGING UP ON ME!!"
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