Had Arthur ever talked this much with someone other than his family?
He didn't think he even talked that much with Allen.
But then again, Allen was older than him, so their topic of interest rarely aligned. Gin didn't give him a real name, but the man did reveal his age. To think they were even the same age? As if they could be friend? As if they could have met at school if Arthur were not home-schooled?
What kind of bitter fate was that?
Why gave him all of these nice things when it was only going to last an hour or two?
But perhaps because he knew it was just a one-time thing, it was easier for him to converse with the man. That, and the fact that Gin knew a lot of things about his interests: the books he liked, gourmet food--in which they had some debates over--and music. Gin didn't exactly play any instrument or had deep interest in music itself, but a lot of his friends--including the one ditching him that night--were musicians.
It was very...comfortable. Ashley was more of a cinephile, Allen drowned himself in non-fiction more, and Sophie didn't share a single interest with him. To be able to converse this much with someone, without hiding his nerdiness that people tended to criticize because it wasn't very alpha-like, and without his stomach churning from scent-induced nausea...
Arthur almost considered sending a thank-you gift to that omega for bringing him to that bar.
He felt excited, like a new student finding his first friend--which wasn't something a man in his twenties should be feeling...right?
Although, to be fair, he had been homeschooled since third grade. He didn't have much of a way in making friends, not with the way everyone looked like strangers to him. He developed a keen sense of smell just so he could differentiate people through their scent, but it also made him extra sensitive and uncomfortable around both alphas and omegas.
Like a curse.
Perhaps...he should have looked for betas for friends. They had no scent, so he could be comfortable. But no scent also meant he wouldn't be able to differentiate them unless they had striking physical traits like a weird hair color or a very visible tattoo.
Damn if you do, damn if you don't.
Maybe...maybe if he asked for his number? They didn't have to meet, and if they didn't have to meet, Gin wouldn't hate him for not being able to recognize him in the crowd.
Before he could gather his courage--or shamelessness--however, they got distracted by loud noises from the entrance, where a group of college students was entering boisterously.
Arthur stared at the laughing, bright faces of the students. From the bits and pieces of conversation he could hear, it seemed like they were celebrating the end of the exam session and had planned to go to several rounds of drinks that night.
"Humm…" Arthur hummed against his palm, propping his elbow on the table.
Gin stared at him behind the rocks glass. "What's wrong?
"Looks fun," Arthur murmured unconsciously.
How many times had he imagined going out to find a friend of his own? But it took him years before he could step out of the house without flinching, and more years until he could go out in the crowd without someone to chaperone him. He couldn't go to theme parks because it was too scary getting lost in the middle of so many strangers, and schools were just a clusterfuck of trauma.
And the more he couldn't do it, the more he yearned for it.
"What? College?" Gin arched his brow, turning his head to look at the college students before glancing at Arthur curiously. "You don't go to one?"
"I was homeschooled, and then attended those cyber university things. But I was told to go to the 'real' one this year," Arthur pursed his lips slightly. "Realistically speaking, we need a degree to get a job."
"True," Gin chuckled bitterly. "Will you go?"
"I don't know, I'm confused..."
Arthur pressed his lips. This...he did say he would do it, but it wasn't out of passion for education or anything. He just...wanted to get out of that house for a while after witnessing how much Ashley fought with her wife--well, ex-wife. When he realized he couldn't do anything to make the situation better, it added more to his growing feeling that it wasn't his true home.
Besides, if he went away, they wouldn't have to spend their energy taking care of his difficult self.
Naturally, he couldn't tell anyone about this, so he had been keeping it inside, feeling embarrassed and uncertain. Was it the drink, or was it because he was talking to a stranger? He felt like he wanted to speak at least once, even if it wasn't the whole truth.
"I don't…really know what I want to do," he said, wiping the droplets of condensation around his glass, tearing his gaze off the students. "All this time, I just studied whatever without any particular interest—you know, just so I can pass the GED and not just rolling around the house like a bum."
The silence wasn't as comfortable as before, when the gap was filled with a sip of alcohol and a search for new topics. But Arthur could feel the observing gaze of the other man, gentler than he thought.
"Pathetic, huh?" Arthur chuckled in self-deprecation, fueled by the alcohol in his bloodstream. "People my age are going to specialized school or working already, but I'm just here dilly-dallying..."
"Hmm…what's wrong with that?"
Arthur looked up, eyes widened slightly in confusion at the other man's response. "Uhh…everything?"
The man snickered. "Who told you those kids know what they actually want, or what they want to be?"
"Huh?" Arthur blinked, feeling all confused and stupid.
"Most people enter college without knowing what they're doing. Hell—some don't even know what they're doing after graduating," Gin leaned against one armrest, the green eyes gazing at the students who were cheerfully making a toast on the other side. "The number of people who end up working in a field not related to their study is probably higher than those who do."
"…really?" Arthur raised his brows.
Ashley had always been groomed to take over the production house, just as Allen had always been prepared for his family's company, and Sophie always devoted herself to being Allen's loving partner. The adults around him seemed to know what they wanted to do since forever, so he always felt insecure by the lack of passion on his side.
"That's what my senior said," Gin shrugged, turning his head back to Arthur.
"I see…" Arthur nodded, staring at Eugene curiously.
"Not me, Bum," the man smirked at Arthur's probing gaze. "I already know what I want to do."
"Oh, good for you..."
Arthur pursed his lips, feeling a bit sulky and whiny. Maybe because of the drink, or maybe because Gin seemed matured. He secretly felt relieved when those green eyes didn't fill with admonition toward his childish attitude.
Instead, there was a curiosity.
Curiosity...was good, right?
"Your family…they never told you to take an interest early on?" Gin asked after musing for a few seconds.
"Uhh…not really?" Arthur answered sheepishly. His parents couldn't care less about his future path, and the other family members pitied him enough to not force anything on him.
"Isn't that nice?"
Arthur narrowed his eyes and tilted his head. "Yeah?"
"Most alphas I know are usually being forced into going to a specific field—you know, the ones society deems to be prestigious," Gin shrugged. "Doctors and lawyers or military stuff..."
There was a certainty in his voice that told Arthur the man personally knew those alphas. At the same time, disdain flashed within the green eyes for a second.
"Perhaps not all, but a lot of alphas are going through the path their parents decide for them. Some of them are probably doing their study or profession without really wanting to do it, just going through the motions because it's what their family and society say they should do," he continued, before pointing at Arthur with his glass. "Compared to that, you're in a rather nice place, don't you think?"
Arthur blinked. Huh...he never thought about it that way.
"If your family is letting you be whatever you want, you can spend your time figuring it out slowly," the man brought his drink to his lips, a thin smile adorning his face. "Who knows, perhaps you'll find out something if you do go to that school. A blank canvas has its own advantage after all."
For a minute, Arthur just stared at the man in silence. This kind of perspective was new for him, who grew up as a sheltered kid. Had he been taking his family for granted? Had he drowned himself in too much self-pity?
That being said, doubt and fear still ran around in his mind.
Suddenly, he felt greedy. He was spoiled by this stranger, and he wanted to be spoiled even more.
"What if…I still don't find it?" he asked quietly.
"So what?" the man rolled his eyes, abandoning his drink for a pack of cigarettes he took out of his pocket. "A lot of people are doing work they probably never intended to do. Even those who have dreams find themselves unable to do what they actually want to do."
And then, in a gesture that usually would have made Arthur annoyed, the man scoffed.
"You're not that special."
"…ah."
It sounded like a mockery, but why did it feel like a consolation, instead? Arthur was baffled--about a lot of things.
Meanwhile, the man in question pulled a stick of cigarettes from the pack with his teeth. "If all fails, you can always try relying on your face and do modelling or something."
"Huh? My face?" Arthur widened his eyes, pressing his thumb over his wilding pulse. "You think…I'm attractive?"
The green eyes scanned him up and down. "I'm not sure what's behind that shirt, but your face is a piece of art for sure."
It was said so nonchalantly that Arthur couldn't even tell if it was a compliment or just a fact reading. Still...there should be something there, shouldn't it? However tiny.
He should try getting that number, shouldn't he?
Arthur swallowed nervously and summoned his courage again. "…Hey—"
"You can't smoke inside, Mr. Customer."
Unfortunately for Arthur, he was once again interrupted by the waiter, who was staring down at Gin with disapproval. It was rare for a bar to ban indoor smoking, but Gin was a reasonable man.
"Whelp—sorry," he chuckled lightly and stood up, looking at Arthur before leaving the table. "Hey, I'm going out for a smoke."
Ugh--damn it! Arthur really didn't want this random encounter to end just like that. So, before he realized it, he was already blurting out something unreasonable. "Can I join?"