"Phew..."
Arthur let out a long exhale when he stepped inside his new apartment. It was good to pay someone through his cousin to organize his stuff before. Dealing with his stuff while fighting jet lag would be unpleasant.
Still, several boxes with highly personal stuff were still sealed and piled up in one corner, waiting for their owner. Arthur placed the manuscript he got from Ashley on top of one box before making a sideline to grab his cigarette pack and heading out to the balcony.
Keeping his place scentless meant smoking in the cold.
With all the catching up and meal prepping, it was almost midnight when he came home. Quiet and cold. Arthur didn't hate it, but...it was indeed a bit lonely. When he was abroad, his flat was in the same building as his father's, who already built a new family. While he wasn't particularly close with his father, there was a sense that he could just knock on his father's door if he needed something.
Was it childish? Arthur felt it was childish, this fear of being lonely when he was almost thirty. And because he felt childish, he forced himself to go with this 'living alone' thing.
Which was probably even more childish.
Arthur wanted to laugh. It was as contradictory as being afraid of loneliness when he could barely stand being around other people.
But life...life is full of contradictions, wasn't it?
Just like how he couldn't find anyone when he was still actively going to blind dates, but suddenly found someone when he just wanted to drink casually in a bar.
Although he lost that someone just as fast as he found them.
Perhaps that was just how his life was supposed to be. In the first place, desiring a normal life where he could find someone who wanted to be with him was already impossible. A romantic relationship? He couldn't even pull a decent platonic relationship. Those whom he could call friends were basically just Ashley's friends, so he was roped in as an extension. Nothing more.
"Bring someone over, huh?" Arthur mumbled against the cigarette between his lips, lighting it up absentmindedly.
It wasn't like he never tried. He tried going on blind dates, even tried scoring some dates on his own while he was abroad. But, well...
No one wanted to be with someone who couldn't recognize them during the second date.
No one wanted to be with someone who couldn't recognize anyone's faces.
How could he become anyone's friend, much less anyone's lover, when he couldn't tell whether that person was A or B? How could he become close with anyone when everyone looked like a stranger to him?
Arthur bit down on the sweet filter to calm his nerves before taking a deep drag. Flicking the cigarette in his hand, he stared at the pack on the table, which always reminded him of that person.
A hollow chuckle left his throat along with a whif of smoke.
Even if he somehow, by a great miracle, found that person, would that person even want to have anything to do with him?
Such desire was truly...childish.
"Should I just go to blind dates again?" he sighed.
In a flash of sudden irony, Arthur chuckled. Maybe he would run across that person while attending a blind date. He laughed at himself, raising the hand holding the cigarette high, staring at the ember with unblinking eyes.
Right. He met that person after one of his failed blind dates. Well...not that he was ever successful, but that night's start was totally awful. The omega came as if they had drenched themselves in perfume. Arthur heard some brands had started to provide a service where they would make a custom perfume with someone's pheromone scent, and Arthur had suspected this omega--whose name he could no longer remember--had used one of those brands.
Arthur had to fight an urge to vomit when that scent overpowered even the smell of food during their dinner. He even vowed to himself that he would donate all of his savings to any researcher who could make a perfect scent blocker patch with no side effects in the future.
He wanted to just go home and take a long shower, scrubbing himself clean, and put on a new sheet on his bed. But the one who set up the blind date was his cousin, who was like his older sister, so he gritted his teeth and followed the omega to a bar.
Should he feel grateful that it wasn't the kind of place where the tables were set so close to one another? It was a rather calm establishment with slow, jazzy music. There weren't a lot of people, so the scent was bearable.
Not that he thought anything could permeate the strong perfume.
He used all of his strength and patience to listen to the guy's rambling, and he felt a sudden horror when he realized that the omega had been signaling him about going to a hotel after this.
There was no amount of debt in this world that could make him spend more time in an enclosed space with this person.
Perhaps his tolerance had reached its peak because he felt his dinner climb to his throat at that time. After making sure the omega knew he couldn't sleep with omegas--or anyone, for that matter--during a first date, he went to the bathroom to take care of his nausea.
Thankfully, he didn't end up throwing up that expensive dinner--phew.
When he returned to the bar, he naturally sat at the table with someone wearing a white top. It was a bit weird when the guy only stared at him silently, in a mix of amusement and mockery. But perhaps because he had just relieved a bit of his nausea, Arthur was in a better mood and offered a bit more words than before.
"Sorry, did I take too long?"
He even spoke politely. His Grandma would be so proud.
"I don't know," but the person said something Arthur never expected. "It's not like I've been waiting."
"Oh?"
When he finally heard the guy's voice, Arthur immediately realized it wasn't the same person. A smooth baritone and nonchalant, very different from the overly enthusiastic and honey-dripped voice of the omega who was supposed to be his date.
In confusion, Arthur looked around the bar, and belatedly realized that it was a different table. That was when his gaze finally focused on the person across the table.
The dark hair was almost similar, but the style was clearly different. A pair of sharp green phoenix eyes, observing him with slight boredom and a lot of annoyance. Thin lips that seemed ready to fire up poetic mockery.
The kind of face that could bewitch people.
The kind of face that would make people sad if they couldn't remember it.
"Oh..." Arthur said again, almost in a daze. After looking closely, the guy also had broader shoulders and was filled with more muscle. "Now that I look closely, you're bigger than that one."
The man sneered, but Arthur couldn't care less. At that point, he was busy realizing something. Taking a deep breath, Arthur realized he couldn't smell anything.
No sharp scent, no perfume, no pheromone.
Nothing!
Was it because he had to suffer through hours of sensory torture? Arthur felt energized just by the absence of scent. These days, people wear perfume everywhere, including betas, so to find one without any scent...
Was his torturous night finally over?
Arthur didn't even feel angry anymore about paying the bill--even though he hadn't had any drink that night. In his newfound euphoria, ignoring his new tablemate's baffled expression, he was feeling good enough to order a drink and have some conversation.
After all, when was the last time he could go out without feeling uncomfortable? When was the last time he didn't have to grimace while talking with anyone aside from his family members?
The guy seemed to criticize him on how he behaved during the date, but Arthur didn't really mind. He was used to it--getting criticized. He was more amused by how this guy was unintentionally showing that he had been observing Arthur for the past hour.
Kind of flattering, honestly.
What amused him more was that despite the criticism, the guy did not leave of kicked him out of the table. Maybe because they both knew they wouldn't see each other again? The man seemed to be equally amused by Arthur, as if he wanted to see how much he could stomach Arthur's presence before leaving.
"Maybe you said something offensive before taking your call earlier?"
Arthur tilted his head slightly. Ah...did this man think he was taking a call when he excused himself to the restroom earlier? But thinking back...
"I told him I don't sleep with omegas--oh, thank you."
Before Arthur could explain fully, the drink he ordered came, and the guy laughed incredulously.
"Pfft—fuck," the man covered his cursing lips with his fingers, silver rings around his fingers glinting against the bar's light. "You couldn't even wait until the date is over before rejecting him, asshole? Talk about ruthless."
"He was the one who suddenly talked about—oh, whatever," Arthur shook his head. Was there any need to explain it? The outcome wouldn't matter anyway. "It's also true that I have no intention of taking it further with him."
Perfume made to mimic the scent of pheromones usually meant one thing: seduction. It was an act of imprinting their scent on their partner's sense without breaking the taboo. Public scenting was frowned upon, after all.
Arthur wouldn't go as far as condemning people who used this kind of trick--you do you, or whatever--but doing it on the first date, before even knowing if they were compatible with each other?
A bit sketchy. Not second date material.
Not that Arthur was any second date material either, but...
"Blind date, huh?" Surprisingly, the phoenix-eyes guy was perceptive enough. Those sharp eyes showed a sliver of sympathy. "Must have been arranged by someone else."
"Yup."
The dark hair swayed. "Why agreed if you didn't want to do it?"
Why, indeed? Arthur smiled bitterly while sipping on his cocktail.
"Well…let's just say I can't defy the one who has been arranging them," Arthur shrugged. "I can't say it won't work until at least the first meeting, right?"
"True enough," the guy nodded. Again, surprisingly. "I happen to have a friend who loves to try every attractive older man he can find to see if one would stick around."
With a little smirk, Arthur tapped the table. "Is he supposed to sit in my seat?"
"Yeah."
"Heh—so we're both getting dumped tonight."
The stranger smiled. "I guess."
Arthur swallowed the drink in his mouth. Or had the drink already gone before? He had no idea. That smile, genuine even in its mockery, was honestly beautiful on the cold face.
"…I can at least pay for the drink," Arthur said with a slight daze. "For not kicking me out of the table."
The man seemed to contemplate it for a while, and for some reason, Arthur felt his throat getting drier. Was he nervous? Truly? Did he want to keep talking to this man that badly?
"Why not," the man finally said, shrugging. He shook his empty glass. "Can you refill this?"
Arthur nodded almost immediately, watching the man raise his empty glass to signal the waiter. Wetting his throat with his own drink, Arthur put some courage on his tongue. "What's your name?"
The thin lips curled in a smirk. "Why? It's not like we're going to meet again."
Arthur winced, remembering his father's offer to study abroad. Yeah...he wouldn't even be in the country, so this serendipitous meeting was fated to be a one-time thing. Just like anyone else, this man would walk away when Arthur couldn't recognize him anymore.
"I guess so," Arthur said in resignation, staring at the empty glass in the man's hand. With a little sniff, it was easy for Arthur to find out the content, especially when the man had it straight. He pointed at the drink with his chin. "I'll call you Gin, then."
There was a flinch that almost went unnoticed when the man heard it, but in the end, he just scoffed at Arthur. "Suit yourself."
And so, Arthur found himself in a rare soothing experience with a man he would call 'Gin' for the next six years.