「... ──」 (Subaru)
He woke up.
「...」 (Subaru)
── A sense of wrongness.
「...…」 (Subaru)
Strangeness.
「...」 (Subaru)
Unease.
「...… ── !?」 (Subaru)
He sees nothing before him. His hands won't move, his feet won't move, and his mouth is stuffed with something preventing speech.
He was supposed to be dead; the bullet pierced Subaru's chest, confirming his death, and "Return by Death" was activated.
Yet, he does not see the usual ceiling. The smell of medicine, the IV drip, the soft pillow—everything differs from the usual conditions of "Return by Death."
── "Impossible," he began to analyze his current situation, then realized.
He is bound. Moreover, he is in the exact same state as before: blindfolded, gagged, ropes binding his wrists, and even the wounds remaining on his body are the same.
His only injury should have been the bullet hole in his chest, yet Subaru's body still bears the deep shoulder wound, and the traces of burns on his face causing a stinging pain as the blindfold fabric rubs against them.
── "Impossible," and from his current analysis, he deduced the conclusion.
「── !!!」 (Subaru)
Did the return point for "Return by Death" change ──?
Could it be called a "Save Point"? Subaru experienced this once before.
The first Save Point was in front of the convenience store, and after overcoming that grueling day, he drifted with the flow until he reached Abydos and died.
After that, Subaru Returned by Death to the "Infirmary."
He had been negligent and overlooked it. True, "Return by Death" is an ability Subaru possesses, but that does not mean he holds the reins or controls it.
── "Impossible," and from the conclusion he reached, a specific emotion swept over Subaru.
「...」 (Subaru)
Terror.
It is a feeling of terror.
The time reversal granted by "Return by Death" is an irrational authority that scoops up (saves) everything Subaru loses, a chance allowing the helpless and childish Subaru, incapable of bearing responsibility, to choose again when he makes a wrong choice.
But this authority has a single weakness—no... perhaps not a weakness so much as stemming from the fact that Subaru cannot control this authority at all:
── "Return by Death" cannot return to a time before the Save Point.
If the Save Point is updated, one cannot Return by Death to a point preceding it. Even when he Returned by Death to the infirmary, Subaru's heart was filled with terror at the possibility that he might have lost someone's happiness while arriving at that choice.
That terror attacks Natsuki Subaru once again.
「Good morning.」 (Hoshino)
「Did you sleep well?」 (Hoshino)
This is bad. Bad, bad, bad, bad ──
「I will ask you questions from now on, and I ask nothing from you other than answers.」 (Hoshino)
「I'll remove the gag.」 (Hoshino)
「H...」 (Subaru)
He nearly hyperventilated, and not because of this dead-end situation.
"Was the path I took until now free of mistakes?"
This self-blame prevents him from breathing.
Since his conversation with Hina, he intended to slowly come to terms with his ability of "Return by Death," which requires him to abandon the world.
If he is to Return by Death, he will not squander anything. People who would become unhappy because of him, and people who would be abandoned because of him—Subaru will take responsibility and save them all.
Subaru is not an absolute being determining the fate of things, nor a ruler separating good from evil, and certainly not a hero.
To get hurt, crawl in the dirt, and borrow others' hands pathetically, to choose the second-best option if not the best, and to choose a path where no one cries alone unbeknownst to anyone, even if it isn't the optimal path ──
「Can you reply?」 (Hoshino)
「Hah, hah, hah, hah ── !!」 (Subaru)
「Hmm, quite different from my expectations... ── You are the first person to make me prepare for death (feel a genuine threat).」 (Hoshino)
「W-What, d-death ── ?」 (Subaru)
「This old lady (I), as you see ── Ah, you're blindfolded so you don't realize, but even though I'm smaller than you, I'm on the stronger side.」 (Hoshino)
「I still don't understand what you were afraid of and ran from~」 (Hoshino)
Save Point update? Why? No, it's not strange; since Subaru doesn't hold the reins, expecting such a situation is natural. But it cannot be accepted. What do I do? Was there a mistake? What is the cause? Is it because I uttered the name "Return by Death"? Where is Arona? No phone. If this continues, Kaiser will come again. How many minutes left? Two or three? I must persuade Hoshino. At least save everyone starting from here. How? What do I do? Can I trust "Return by Death"? What will Natsuki Subaru do from now on? What if I did ──
「Very well.」 (Hoshino)
「You, are you connected to Valkyrie Police Academy?」 (Hoshino)
「Ah... Y-Yes...」 (Subaru)
「You are the Natsuki Subaru who ignited the war with Kaiser Corporation, aren't you?」 (Hoshino)
「...」 (Subaru)
He nodded while his body creaked with pain.
「What is your reason for coming here?」 (Hoshino)
「── ... I wanted Hoshino... to help me... because alone... I can't do anything.」 (Subaru)
「Incorrect. You want to use me to crush the Kaiser PMC, don't you?」 (Hoshino)
「...」 (Subaru)
「Different.」 (Subaru)
「── You hes(i)tated (didn't you)? Can you say the reason?」 (Hoshino)
「Th-That...」 (Subaru)
He cannot say. His hesitation now stems from not finding a clear answer within himself regarding "Return by Death," and because he preempts all choices, he doesn't know whether he has been "relying on" Hina and Problem Solver 68 or "using" them until now.
── The answer he had postponed is being dug up now.
Suddenly, footsteps approached, and his blindfold was torn off violently.
「── Look into my eyes.」 (Hoshino)
「...」 (Subaru)
「... Yes, just as I expected.」 (Hoshino)
「My intuition wasn't wrong; you are indeed a human far more terrifying than Kaiser, and I understand why Kaiser targets your life.」 (Hoshino)
「───」 (Subaru)
「You wear the mask of a pure, kind person, while trying to use people without any malicious intent (ill will).」 (Hoshino)
「You pretend to be cowardly and weak, while deep down lies your 'personal victory.'」 (Hoshino)
「And most importantly, what are you afraid of right now? You aren't looking at me standing before you, but looking at 'something' else ── ?」 (Hoshino)
I didn't mean that, I'm not such an entity, I'm just a loner, a NEET, a former high school student...
「I swore I wouldn't be deceived again, you understand? Bad adults kept deceiving me until things came to this.」 (Hoshino)
「── Yet, in that moment, I thought I wanted to help you. A dangerous person detonating a bomb in a Kaiser base; you exploited that situation to force Kaiser to withdraw from Abydos... and even the Helmet Gang vanished from Abydos, because they didn't want to antagonize an existence like you.」 (Hoshino)
「And in the end, you made Kaiser choose the means of 'killing.'」 (Hoshino)
── This is bad.
「You... no, rather (You there), what is your goal in coming to Abydos?」 (Hoshino)
── This is bad.
「Answer me.」 (Hoshino)
── This is bad.
「Natsuki Subaru.」 (Hoshino)
── I must reply. Remember the past.
There must be a correct answer. Summon courage and speak boldly as you did before. There is a correct answer; Hoshino hasn't noticed the contradiction in Subaru's existence yet, so...
「I, ...」 (Subaru)
In that moment ──.
The flames of an explosion engulfed Subaru's body.
「Gah... Aah!?」 (Subaru)
「K- ── Kaiser...!? So that's how it is, they are targeting (you)...!」 (Hoshino)
「... I understand. It seems it would be better if you didn't die right now.」 (Hoshino)
It was outside his expectations.
About a minute earlier than Subaru anticipated.
"Return by Death" is an absolute authority, and the timing of the attack shouldn't change. Therefore, the events shifting differently now means something other than the situation triggered this moment.
The only variable was the content of their conversation.
「Damn it...」 (Subaru)
The ropes didn't loosen this time; the goddess of luck doesn't smile upon Subaru forever.
「Takanashi Hoshino, hand over Natsuki Subaru, and we will fulfill the terms of the contract.」 (Kaiser)
「... There's no justification for you to attack here, is there?」 (Hoshino)
「No ── that individual must die immediately. An order for immediate liquidation was issued by the Kaiser Director.」 (Kaiser)
「── Have you lost the will to keep your promise?」 (Hoshino)
「Tsk.」 (Kaiser)
Hoshino grabbed Subaru and leaped out of the room. She held Subaru's back with one hand and used a shield with the other to protect him.
The attacking force consisted of two Kaiser combat helicopters and eight automatons on board—enough power to face flesh-and-blood humans, or rather, excessive force.
A storm of bullets targeted Hoshino the moment she exited, but after blocking them all, she vanished from the Kaiser soldiers' field of view, leaving only her shadow behind.
For a moment, the speakers seemed to pick up a faint sound, and then ──
「Wha- ──」 (Kaiser Soldier)
── One of the helicopters fell and crashed.
「...」 (Hoshino)
「What a monster. Plan B. Authorization to use the thermobaric warhead. Blow up the entire school.」 (Commander)
"Understood." (Soldier)
The other helicopter distanced itself from the site. From the air, it continued issuing orders while tracking Hoshino, who was running inside the building, using thermal imaging to detect heat sources, awaiting the arrival of the fired projectile.
In contrast, Subaru, being swung around by Hoshino, was not in good shape.
「Ugh ── !?」 (Subaru)
「Endure it a little.」 (Hoshino)
He couldn't understand the trajectory of their movement. As soon as he felt the contents of his stomach rise, they swerved right; the visibility was many times worse than a roller coaster. This was a speed impossible for a human to generate.
Moreover, did she just bring down a helicopter by throwing a stone ──?
「... ── That's... impossible, the whole school... !!」 (Subaru)
Then, when Hoshino caught sight of something resembling a missile in the distant sky, she accelerated even more.
Using the ceiling, the two side walls, and the floor as launch pads in a three-dimensional trajectory, she crushed three Kaiser soldiers who had stormed the room.
She intentionally left the man who appeared to be the commander, leaving only the soldiers operating the helicopter.
「I will keep Natsuki Subaru. You won't feel safe as long as he is alive, will you?」 (Hoshino)
「... And do you think you can achieve victory after making all of Kaiser Corporation your enemy?」 (Commander)
「I am not the one who will win. This boy is the one who will win.」 (Hoshino)
「── That is exactly right. You are already a loser; do you have anything left to lose?」 (Commander)
「...」 (Hoshino)
「Furthermore... it seems this force is insufficient to face you. I will let myself watch how you deal with the next bombardment to increase our data. It doesn't matter if this body is destroyed.」 (Commander)
「Fine. Make sure to take that back and report it to the Board of Directors.」 (Hoshino)
She ended her conversation with the commander, then fired a bullet into his head, destroying him.
She rushed to the rooftop, set Subaru aside, and used the fence as a foothold to jump. The fence was destroyed by muscle power and physique disproportionate to her appearance, and that force propelled Hoshino straight forward. ...Or rather, looking at her lightness that resembled bird wings and the aesthetic trajectory she traced, one would say it fit her appearance perfectly.
── Subaru watched the movements of "Takanashi Hoshino" clearly.
She was law-breaking, existing in a realm far removed from other living beings, and distinct from Hina.
A unique grain of sand, one that wouldn't even fill a fist, within the golden desert sands; that is the existence of both Sorasaki Hina and Takanashi Hoshino.
「Hup ──」 (Hoshino)
── She reached her hand straight toward the helicopter.
From a hanging position, she jumped again directly in front of the Kaiser soldier holding the control stick.
Although the aircraft had lowered its altitude to lock onto Hoshino, catching up to a flying helicopter with an unprotected body was sheer madness.
「This is bullshit!?」 (Soldier)
「This is the last one.」 (Hoshino)
Hoshino fired a shotgun shell at the Kaiser soldier. Then, she struck the out-of-control helicopter with her bare hands, forcibly changing its trajectory away from a direct collision with the school ──,
The helicopter crashed, no longer retaining its original shape, falling into a residential area.
「── That, is...」 (Subaru)
That is Takanashi Hoshino.
The strongest trump card capable of solving all strategies, forces, and numerical superiority with her own logic, without needing Subaru's help.
Hoshino leaped from the helicopter and landed in front of Subaru.
「Hup...」 (Hoshino)
「Hoshino! That thing is still there...!」 (Subaru)
But the attack from Kaiser was not over yet. Subaru, brought to the rooftop, saw the reality of the word "bombardment" he heard earlier. It was the missile Hoshino had noticed earlier thanks to her superhuman vision, a small-sized missile people might have seen in history books, and survivors of WWII saw with their own eyes.
Fundamentally, it is a wide-range anti-target weapon designed to flush out those entrenched in buildings, trenches, or tanks, not something to be fired by mistake to target a single individual.
── In other words, Takanashi Hoshino has received an evaluation from Kaiser that she exceeds tactical weapons as an individual.
Subaru heard the sound of something metallic hitting the ground, clack, picked up by his ears.
The source of the sound was right next to Subaru.
「A grenade ──?」 (Subaru)
「Stand back.」 (Hoshino)
The method that crossed his mind was impossible and utterly illogical.
「Wait, wait, wait...!」 (Subaru)
But that is exactly what happened.
Subaru scrambled to hide behind the water tank. Hoshino removed all the equipment she was wearing, then inserted a grenade with the pin pulled into the ballistic vest she had been carrying.
What Subaru anticipated was a superhuman acrobatic move every boy imagines when watching action movies.
── Jumping using the blast force.
Without a shred of anxiety, Hoshino hummed the timing of the detonation within herself, then ran, using the shield that had been at rest as a stance.
「Here, almost.」 (Hoshino)
An inevitable miracle accumulated through experience and practice.
The strongest being utilizes skills honed through the highest degree of training however she pleases, and for her, it is completely natural ──.
But to an ordinary human, she looks like a monster who has taken the world and fate as her allies.
Takanashi Hoshino soared rapidly into the sky of Abydos.
「Fall.」 (Hoshino)
●○●○●
「...」 (Subaru)
A small piece of metal struck Subaru's head with a light clack.
It was the aftermath of the impossible phenomenon that had just unfolded before his eyes—as if an entity from the realm of myth had leapt into reality.
「And now.」 (Hoshino)
It was the moment the knell of despair tolled for Subaru.
「For the sake of Ayane-chan and Serika-chan, I must hand you over to the other party in the contract.」 (Hoshino)
「...Didn't you say the other party has no intention of honoring their protection?」 (Subaru)
「The person with whom I exchanged vows will not breach the terms of the contract... or perhaps, it is more accurate to say that, as an adult, he cannot breach it.」 (Hoshino)
「Therefore, I will take charge of your protection. Kaiser and the contract holder are not a monolithic entity; they are merely business partners... and that individual is far more interested in observing you than handing you over to Kaiser.」 (Hoshino)
「Are you telling me to become a sacrifice?」 (Subaru)
「...I cannot deny that.」 (Hoshino)
「And then what? After you force through an outcome that neither Hoshino nor the students of Abydos High School desire, and you ──」 (Subaru)
「I, too, have no intention of remaining here.」 (Hoshino)
「── ...I knew you would say that.」 (Subaru)
He possessed no strength to resist.
Subaru would continue to be dragged futility in Hoshino's wake... heading in a straight line toward a wretched end.
What would happen if the "Save Point" for "Return by Death" updated in an irreversible situation? "Return by Death" was no longer the Spider's Thread of the Buddha that Subaru could manipulate for salvation.
He squandered it once, then again, and died anew. This was "Return by Death" number 177.
The Subaru pushed forward by Hina, and the Subaru entrusted with Kanna's faith—both had died in that world, reduced to meaningless lumps of meat.
Subaru is... Should Subaru simply ignore it all? The sacrifices that would be born, and all the things that would be lost in vain.
Or perhaps, if he conveyed this truth to someone, would Subaru be set free?
「──」 (Subaru)
── ...Self-sacrifice and narrow-mindedness; I am not the right person to say this, but...
Before someone suppressing the urge to cry while struggling so desperately,
...I cannot show weakness and whine.
There is still the option to stand and fight, isn't there? Natsuki Subaru.
「Hoshino.」 (Subaru)
「What?」 (Hoshino)
「Don't you think you and I are very alike?」 (Subaru)
「── ?」 (Hoshino)
「What are you saying... I do not want to be categorized in the same bracket as a monster like you.」 (Hoshino)
「Monster, monster... I am nothing but a former high school student, a damn NEET, a shut-in who made his parents cry. In contrast... Hoshino is a dazzling high school girl who attends school regularly, tries to protect her juniors, and struggles with sincerity and devotion day and night. Yet we are alike; why do you think that is?」 (Subaru)
「...… ──」 (Hoshino)
「You and I, we are only good at embracing dreams and ideals, reaching our hands out toward things that will never come true. We are identical, aren't we?」 (Subaru)
「Y... ── You...」 (Hoshino)
「Because you have given up.」 (Subaru)
「You shrink into yourself, believing there is no future where everyone can be happy.」 (Subaru)
When he thought of the unimaginable suffering Hoshino had endured, he did not want to utter a single word of these provocative phrases.
However, he had to cool his head for now.
「How can you prefer trusting that lousy adult over trusting your own juniors (kouhai)?」 (Subaru)
「── You, who knows nothing, knows nothing... ──」 (Hoshino)
「At least I am not a stranger now. Didn't you say 'sacrifice'? Then I am also a member of Abydos, am I not!」 (Subaru)
「Does such ridiculous logic pass... ── Does it really pass? Since I involved you in my selfishness.」 (Hoshino)
「── I will answer the question, Hoshino.」 (Subaru)
「...」 (Hoshino)
「The reason...」 (Subaru)
「The reason I came here is ──」 (Subaru)
── To convince Hoshino, to make her agree.
That isn't it, is it?
Natsuki Subaru exerts his utmost effort for someone else because he does not want to be abandoned.
Because even after coming to another world, he does not want to revert to the original Subaru—foolish, helpless, and unloved by anyone.
Because he does not want to disappoint anyone, he died and returned hundreds of times in vain.
If Subaru strives from beginning to end to save a miserable person, yet his "personal victory" remains the root firmly planted in his depths.
Then the answer lies not in what he has gained so far. It lies in the thing he tried to leave in the past, yet continued to hold in his hands.
It is something others can never be convinced of or accept.
Let the "Ego" of Natsuki Subaru assert itself.
「I think the reason is that I am resentful.」 (Subaru)
「...Huh?」 (Hoshino)
「I try to forget my 'responsibility,' I feel resentment toward the responsibility dumped on me for no reason, and I feel resentment again because I can't throw it away even if I want to.」 (Subaru)
「And I also feel resentment because the number of unhappy people will increase if I throw it away—not just for me, but for others too.」 (Subaru)
「...And you came here to dispel that feeling?」 (Hoshino)
「Yeah, that might be it.」 (Subaru)
「I want to save Hoshino and Abydos; that was because I feel resentful. I cannot stand by and watch people my age bearing responsibilities beyond their capacity.」 (Subaru)
「So I wanted to start by fulfilling my own 'responsibility.' Is it strange that I wish to encourage someone bearing a similar burden?」 (Subaru)
「If we are forced to carry irrational burdens, I think it is fine to share them selfishly.」 (Subaru)
「I am resentful of this world that does not allow that, so I will scream in the face of Fate, 'I am coming for you,' and I will save everyone and triumph over everything.」 (Subaru)
「All of that, just to get rid of this resentment.」 (Subaru)
「It is "Ego," Hoshino. I am here for my own sake, because I do not want to cry.」 (Subaru)
「Furthermore, I am currently looking for one person—first come, first served—to take my hand... someone to follow me and achieve my ideal with me.」 (Subaru)
「...」 (Hoshino)
「...… ── And what is your ideal?」 (Hoshino)
「That everyone eats while smiling.」 (Subaru)
「...Huh.」 (Hoshino)
In that moment, Subaru did not know what crossed Hoshino's mind.
Yet, he felt as though her face, which had been like an iron mask, wavered slightly ──
「Is that the reason?」 (Hoshino)
「Yeah.」 (Subaru)
「This old lady (I)... doesn't quite get that. You are insane, Natsuki Subaru.」 (Hoshino)
「Boys in their teens love these words.」 (Subaru)
「...」 (Hoshino)
「...… ── If it were before.」 (Hoshino)
「...」 (Subaru)
「Before things turned out this way.」 (Hoshino)
「Perhaps it would have been fine to take it.」 (Hoshino)
After a sigh that combined resignation with a philosophical outlook, she raised the butt of the shotgun to strike.
── It is not too late. Subaru realized he would be rendered unconscious before he could say it, yet he did not avert his gaze from Hoshino.
Darkness covered his field of vision.
「── ...」 (Hoshino)
「What do you intend to do?」 (Hoshino)
Before that could happen.
「That is my line.」 (Shiroko)
「One person, first come, first served... If Hoshino-senpai won't take his hand.」 (Shiroko)
「Then I will take it.」 (Shiroko)
The Spider's Thread of the Buddha descended into Natsuki Subaru's hand.
「Shiroko-chan, stand back.」 (Hoshino)
「Let us face each other, Hoshino-senpai.」 (Shiroko)
•
°
•
°
👑 Get early access to 18+ advanced chapters on Patreon!
🔗 https://www.pat-reon.co-m/c/Raven737
(Just remove the hyphen (-) to open the link!)
💬 Enjoying the story? Drop a review!Your support really helps the series grow—thank you!