For Subaru, ever since arriving in this world, waking up pleasantly had been a distant dream.
Even if he closed his eyelids, shadows of bullets invaded his imagination, and excruciating pains gnawed at his body. The shadows of "Return by Death" did not vanish with mere sleep, and every time he dreamed, guilt ran like a chill down his spine.
Now, the feeling is particularly bad. Even if he opens his eyes to find the reason... the scene is pitch black, and his hands and feet won't move.
Originally, he used to wake up well, but it seems a morning bringing a refreshing awakening will never come again.
「... Mmh...」 (Subaru)
When he tried to voice a sound, a foreign object in his mouth blocked it, suppressing his words. He had vaguely sensed it, but it seems he is indeed bound.
To be gagged... he thought he would never see or experience such a thing in his entire life except in comics, but the world holds oddities beyond imagination.
── He also thought he would never drive a car or be shot in his entire life, so this came late... thus "God" spat upon Subaru's cynical sentiments.
「Mm... Mmmm ──」 (Subaru)
The sense of strangeness continues. Vision is zero, but the wind touching his skin carries no sand, and the temperature is neither cold nor hot. He expected to see the familiar ceiling as usual, but... it seems he survived that accident. However, darkness reigns before his eyes, so, unfortunately, he must be blindfolded.
Well, being alive is good, but he cannot rest easy completely. The rope binding Subaru, the cloth plugging his mouth, and Subaru's posture forced into a seated position like a comic book character... if things go south, the situation might surpass an "Adult" rating to reach a "Gore" classification.
Unless it's a post-apocalyptic car chase movie where humans are crucified on cars, it's terrifying because it could actually happen in Kivotos.
「── ...」 (Subaru)
Finally, he realized.
── Someone is there.
If that's the case, it's a disaster; the sight of him writhing like a worm just moments ago has been etched into that person's memory, and the "Summary of Natsuki Subaru" will be saved in their brain as a miserable pervert.
Ignoring those trivial thoughts, had his mouth been free, he would have wanted to click his tongue "Tch" and rub his unshaven chin while lamenting this situation spiraling toward the worst.
「Good morning.」 (Hoshino)
「Did you sleep well?」 (Hoshino)
The most terrifying voice yet was directed at him, and Subaru nearly lost control of his bladder. The owner of this voice, which blends gentleness with a deadly chill, is Takanashi Hoshino.
No matter how boldly or arrogantly he acted, her voice never carried this coldness before; now, the mere tone of her voice carries a terror that freezes one's limbs.
「How are your injuries? Traces of burns remain, but...」 (Hoshino)
When she said that... the deep wounds on his shoulder and those carved all over his body, and the burns likely resulting from that massive explosion... their pain vanished.
Perhaps because his pain sensation is naturally dulled, he doesn't know if the superficial wounds have healed or not, but his current body is in a state requiring hospitalization, yet it moves forcibly.
An ordinary human taking a bullet to the head takes a month to heal, and a crazy car chase astounding Hollywood, plus taking several bullets even over a vest, is enough to count one among the dead.
If this human is capable of breathing and writhing his limbs, the only answer is that the condition of his injuries is extremely excellent.
「You look healthy.」 (Hoshino)
「───」 (Subaru)
「I'll remove the gag.」 (Hoshino)
「... Th-Th-That saves me... I was about to look like just a flopping dried fish... ──」 (Subaru)
「But, I didn't give you permission for idle chatter, did I~?」 (Hoshino)
「...」 (Subaru)
── A gaze confirming the inevitability of losing control (wetting himself).
It's not "might do," but "will do." Had he not repeated death and become accustomed to horrors, Subaru would have exposed himself in an extremely shameful scene.
「You have one option: I ask, and you answer. I don't ask for more than that right now, understand?」 (Hoshino)
「... No, rather the second option: Hoshino and I will have breakfast together harmoniously.」 (Subaru)
「What a strange boy you are~, wanting to make bullets of lead (metallic lead) your breakfast?」 (Hoshino)
「I'm not a tactless man to demand breakfast from an exhausted girl, and generally, I accept any type of breakfast whether Eastern or Western, but lead is under review.」 (Subaru)
「I think that's called an 'omnivore.'」 (Hoshino)
「Ah, the Natsuki family motto is: Chew well and eat well, say 'Thanks for the meal' happily with family; the atmosphere matters, not what we eat.」 (Subaru)
Into Subaru's mouth, which hadn't stopped chattering, Hoshino thrust the black iron. The name of this black iron is "Handgun"; if the trigger is pulled, a bullet exits, and if it hits a human, they die.
That thing vibrating between his teeth conveyed its coldness every time it hit Subaru's molars.
「This... is your gun, right? A revolver... of the model used by Valkyrie Police. Hey, Natsuki Subaru.」 (Hoshino)
「What is your relationship with that 'Valkyrie'?」 (Hoshino)
「... I don't even know her name; it's something important I borrowed from someone in Valkyrie.」 (Subaru - muffled voice)
「Is that so.」 (Hoshino)
While drool escaped him, the gun barrel was removed from his mouth. Because his vision was blocked and his other senses sharpened, the sound of metal hitting his teeth during removal continued to echo in Subaru's brain.
She is close, staring at Subaru's face from a very short distance. Through the darkness reflected by his blindfolded eyes, he sees the phantom of Takanashi Hoshino.
── And surely, he sees a face wishing to kill him.
「Valkyrie, who abandoned us... perhaps they are complicit with Kaiser, aren't they? Otherwise, they wouldn't let the land of Abydos, capable of repelling a PMC turned terrorist organization, fall so easily.」 (Hoshino)
「...」 (Subaru)
「Your live broadcast, I thought it was a very good idea. So... the things I must do have increased a little.」 (Hoshino)
「H-Hoshino... I... ──」 (Subaru)
「I want to hear your story, what you are suffering from, what I can do, and whether you are asking for help or not.」 (Subaru)
「...」 (Hoshino)
「── After all this time?」 (Hoshino)
「Ugh...!?」 (Subaru)
With force resembling a vise, Hoshino clamped down on Subaru's neck.
Hard, extremely hard, and with a hand charged with hatred and malice. With a touch saying "Go to hell."
「... Sorry.」 (Hoshino)
「Ah... Kah... Haa, haa... Ah...」 (Subaru)
「Even if I vent my anger on you, it's meaningless.」 (Hoshino)
「Hoshi... -no...」 (Subaru)
「Why, I wonder?」 (Hoshino)
「Why were we abandoned?」 (Hoshino)
「The accumulation of good intentions by good people is nothing but a feast to be devoured in the end... Were we too just 'fuel for someone's desires'?」 (Hoshino)
... Why does she speak as if she has given up? What drove her to despair? Subaru doesn't know, and if he doesn't know... he must know.
He knows resistance. Subaru knew, even if through documents, that the Abydos Countermeasures Committee was repaying debts diligently, resisting to escape the suffering with no exit.
「Messages... from the... Committee... stopped... arriving...」 (Subaru)
「True, because Ayane-chan has disappeared.」 (Hoshino)
「... I-I... want to know... I must know...」 (Subaru)
「...」 (Hoshino)
「── I will solve that, so no need to worry.」 (Hoshino)
Suddenly, Pa!, Hoshino's hand moved away from Subaru's neck. He breathed rapidly, demanding oxygen for his body and lungs, to restore the oxygen concentration in the hemoglobin he had lost.
The compressed blood vessels were released, and the sound of accelerated blood flow thump-thump reached his hearing, which had become sharper. He thought he would die, but somehow survived.
But, what did she just say? Hoshino... will solve it?
「Cough, cough... Solve it... you say...」 (Subaru)
「More accurately, I can solve it starting now.」 (Hoshino)
── The sound of steel.
It is the sound of a shotgun dragging on the ground, a lethal tool that turns anyone it hits directly into minced meat. In a world where bullets fly, her choice of this weapon is proof of her absolute confidence in close-quarters combat.
Subaru has tasted this weapon and died because of it hundreds of times. He can perceive the muzzle pointed at him even if his eyes are blindfolded.
He held his breath, his tension turning into drops of sweat, and asked her in order to "know."
「... How will you solve it? The missing persons... aren't the only problem you carry, Hoshino.」 (Subaru)
「It's not that difficult; the root of everything is Kaiser... The problems are all connected, and I will end everything with my own hands.」 (Hoshino)
「Alone? Don't you know darkness lies right beneath the lighthouse?」 (Subaru)
「I am currently inside that darkness, Natsuki Subaru.」 (Hoshino)
She seems to have no intention of debating; the tone of Hoshino's voice in her replies remains unchanged—no anger, just absolute coldness.
Her movements are incomprehensible. But, there is only one thing he understands.
「The solution I will drag out from the darkness, is ──」 (Hoshino)
「Your life.」 (Hoshino)
「Kaiser has moved in earnest because of that broadcast.」 (Hoshino)
This means, she is trying to kill Subaru.
This means, she is trying to kill Subaru.
What he could do... Subaru's instinct, having exchanged words with her even briefly, screamed alarms confirming this.
To survive, he must not touch her trigger points, must grasp the current situation, and save everyone who would face misery because of Natsuki Subaru.
But the wall he had to face to achieve that was far too towering.
「Even if you kill me... ──」 (Subaru)
「It's already set up to be resolved that way~」 (Hoshino)
「───」 (Subaru)
「It seems you studied the matter from various angles; you know a lot about Abydos's problems, don't you? You even called me by name in our first meeting despite me not telling you.」 (Hoshino)
「A land crawled over by ruin, soil unfit for human habitation, accumulating debts, and right before our eyes, a terrorist organization naming our high school specifically.」 (Hoshino)
「And on top of that... the younger students (Kohai).」 (Hoshino)
「My precious students, all vanished except for one.」 (Hoshino)
「Because of me.」 (Hoshino)
Suddenly, with a hoarse voice, words of self-flagellation spilled from her mouth.
She directed at herself hatred and despair far heavier, deeper, and more intense than the hostility she directed at Subaru.
「Because of me, everyone became unhappy. Just a human possessing only strength... asked for something other than strength, and couldn't do anything.」 (Hoshino)
「Because of you, Abydos will perish... perish merely as 'collateral damage.'」 (Hoshino)
「── Because of us, people will die.」 (Hoshino)
「That's why, before that happens...」 (Hoshino)
「I will become that.」 (Hoshino)
The words Hoshino uttered were completely different from what Subaru sought.
The situation is at its worst; Hoshino has abandoned herself and is on the verge of turning into a mere "tool" to erase misery.
Subaru let out a long breath, surprised that the exhale stemmed from anger without his conscious intent.
In a situation like this... how does anger erupt? And it wasn't anger because he was told the blame lay on him ──
「That means you've given up, doesn't it?」 (Subaru)
「Maybe.」 (Hoshino)
「Then, that also means there's no problem if I take over carrying that burden, right?」 (Subaru)
「... ── That is impossible for you.」 (Hoshino)
With a surge of her anger, she crushed his right shoulder with her grip; it was a bone-shattering fracture one wouldn't hesitate to scream over. There was no room for argument; Subaru was told, "I will do what you cannot do"... Had this been said to Subaru by the person causing this misery, Subaru might have wanted to do the same to them.
After his right shoulder was easily shattered under pressure exceeding the body's endurance, Hoshino's hand next reached for Subaru's arm bound to the chair.
The arm bones made a crack-crack sound...
「Ah... Ugh...」 (Subaru)
The price for speaking lightly was steep, but he gained something. At least, Hoshino did not choose that "solution" from the bottom of her heart.
Even though she carries all this resolve, despair, and resignation, and even though she continued to reject Subaru for several nights, and still rejects Subaru's very existence even now.
It's something Hoshino said herself; that night, when he was called a hero, if she had trusted Subaru, he would have run and strived with all his might to save everything.
In short, combining everything that has happened so far, her heart says ──
「Ah... Ah, so that's it...」 (Subaru)
「── Did you distrust me to that extent?」 (Subaru)
From her perspective, not knowing the accumulation of death he has experienced, she surely understands nothing of what he says.
However, if he had to accept the words thrown at him as they were.
「Yes.」 (Hoshino)
「I don't trust you.」 (Hoshino)
That response was logical.
「... Tell me, what will change by ending my life ──?」 (Subaru)
「... I was offered a contract by a certain man, who kept pursuing me saying he wanted me.」 (Hoshino)
「Huh, what a pervert...」 (Subaru)
「Even though he shouldn't be aroused by such a meager body... ── Well, anyway, he said if I became his property, he would reduce Abydos's debt to one hundred million.」 (Hoshino)
「... !!」 (Subaru)
「Exemption from one billion nine hundred million, and in return, I become a private soldier for Kaiser, and a research subject for that man.」 (Hoshino)
「The day after I thought about accepting that offer ── Ayane-chan and Serika-chan disappeared.」 (Hoshino)
「We searched desperately, so that the past wouldn't repeat itself... I searched like I was going to die ── and a week later, the contract terms were suddenly updated.」 (Hoshino)
「They said: If you secure the person 'Natsuki Subaru' who appeared suddenly, we will lend a hand in searching for the two girls, and we will definitely find them.」 (Hoshino)
「Then... a moment ago, they added a clause saying: If you kill him, we won't harm Abydos.」 (Hoshino)
── This is too convenient.
Listening to the story, all the words he wanted to say gathered, clogging his throat.
「── It's too convenient, isn't it?」 (Subaru)
「True, it was very convenient. To search every nook and cranny of the Abydos desert and find not a single trace is extremely inconveniently convenient.」 (Hoshino)
「'Fuel for someone's desires'... In the end, we were dancing in the palm of Kaiser's hand from beginning to end.」 (Hoshino)
「Most likely, if I seal the contract, the two will return. As for Nonomi-chan... ── perhaps she won't return to Abydos, but I believe Shiroko and the other three girls will manage to repay the remaining one hundred million.」 (Hoshino)
「... ── And all that, you will do alone...」 (Subaru)
「Because I cannot burden my beloved students with this.」 (Hoshino)
As if saying "Are you satisfied with this?", her talk concluded with the sound of the shotgun hitting the floor.
But Subaru was not satisfied. He gritted his teeth, bit his lip, and objected to her last word:
「── Why?」 (Subaru)
Before Hoshino, who remained silent, he confronted her with a question driven by the anger forming in his gut.
「I thought... I understood, but it exceeded my imagination...」 (Subaru)
「I wondered what kind of terrible misfortune you were facing, and I feared you were in a place further than my hand could reach...」 (Subaru)
「── Why, can't you trust me...」 (Subaru)
「... It's none of your busi──」 (Hoshino)
「... That's not what I mean.」 (Subaru)
His voice rose in a choked scream, and the heat of tears gathered in his eyelids.
「Why can't you rely on the people you sacrifice everything to protect...?」 (Subaru)
The words he spat out as if bleeding were the utmost he could express.
「I have people I want to protect even if I die.」 (Subaru)
「No matter how much I suffer, no matter what pain I face, no matter what horrors I go through... I want to help them, save them, and protect them.」 (Subaru)
「And to do that, I relied on them! I trusted them... and entrusted everything to them... ── and received help far beyond my ability to repay...!」 (Subaru)
「── Why don't you understand!」 (Subaru)
To be furiously angry because someone else is committing the same sin he committed before.
He felt self-loathing: with what face does he dare say this? But his emotions were out of control, and he was pouring out his anger excessively.
However, precisely for that reason.
When he sees a human like himself, the same anger erupts within him.
「Hoshino!! I, I won't give up yet!!」 (Subaru)
「...」 (Hoshino)
「I'll show you, you who gave up on everything, I'll show you the back of the person who swore to pick up everything!」 (Subaru)
「Shut up.」 (Hoshino)
「Does the truth hurt? Of course, because I am called a hero, while Hoshino hasn't become one yet...!」 (Subaru)
「Shut up!!」 (Hoshino)
「I...! I won't abandon you, I won't abandon myself, and I won't abandon anyone who would become unhap──」 (Subaru)
── The shock prevented the next words from coming out.
A sudden explosion blew the room apart. Subaru's body was freed from restraints and slammed with full force against the room wall.
As the pain of burns robbed him of consciousness, his gaze wandered in the scene shaking from the powerful impact.
── It's Kaiser.
Before his eyes, Hoshino stared in shock at the Kaiser forces storming the room.
「It is」 (Kaiser)
「Too late, Natsuki Subaru.」 (Kaiser)
He heard only that, and by the shotgun aimed at him, Subaru's chest lost its form and turned into fragments.
Everything faded; suffering, pain, and sadness vanished, and the soul returned to the past.
But in the final moment,
「No more... Enough, because of me... Yume-senpai is ──」 (Hoshino)
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