Mirxalyn's eyes locked on me, scrutinizing, and waiting since I paused. I was taking my time, calming my rage, and something had shifted in me.
"But I don't want to hear that man's name, ever. Don't dare mention his name in front of me again." I felt bland and empty when I continued. "Trust me, you won't like to meet that man or mention his name once you learned what he had done from a past that I couldn't share with you, yet." I studied her stern expression, hoping she would understand that I'm not ready to face that man's name without feeling hurt or mad at what he had done to me. She nodded, and it was enough. "Thank you for understanding."
"That's why I hesitate." She admitted, grabbing my hand and kissing it softly before saying, "Now, I know what to say when it comes to your old pack."
We talked more about our day, giggling at each other's sarcasm, and played together. It was light, warm, and rare—a moment I didn't want to let go of. This new rhythm we had found was something I wished could last for eternity.
I smiled softly. "I hope we could talk like this more," I admitted. Mirxalyn smiled, agreed. Slowly, my eyes were closing as I leaned more into her presence, arms securing me, and then I yawned. "It's good talking like this with you."
"Sleep, it's late for you." Mirxalyn kissed my head. As if hypnotized, I was out. I fell asleep in her arms, feeling secure.
***
I was deep in my sleep when I drifted into the same dream. But there was no Sigbin around except the midnight furred Fenrir, sitting majestically under the moonlight glow. A spotlight seemed to glow above its head, casting a magical light with fireflies dancing around. Its ears twitched as it glanced at me, then it nodded, its tail gently patting its side.
Slightly wary, I sat beside the majestic Fenrir and wondered. "Why am I here again?"
'Because you had to.'
I frowned. I don't get what Fenrir was talking about. Again, I asked. "For what?"
'For a soul residing inside you.'
My frown deepened. I was confused about what she was trying to say about my soul. "Soul? What soul?"
'You're sleeping soul. A part of you that has been showing unexplainable skills you can't phantom.'
I was caught off guard when she mentioned my unexplainable skills that kept showing up whenever I'm lost in focus. I sighed, wondered. "And if that's true, what should I do?"
The Fenrir looked at me and gently rested its temple against mine, causing me to close my eyes. I felt nothing, but when our eyes met, I saw a red thread transforming into chains and a glowing magical orb radiating immense and terrifying power amid the surrounding greyness. I gasped as soon as I felt being absorbed.
'In the right time after the changes, awakening will be near. You'd better find the missing piece with your soulmate.'
"Mirxa…" Subconsciously, I muttered. Then the Fenrir smiled, and everything quickly sucked away. It was a harsh whirlwind, pulling everything on its way, and then I jolted, gasping for air as I woke up. I was panting when I heard rustling wings from Reaper, and he landed on my lap. I smiled with assurance and looked around. "It's morning already, and she's not here."
"Who?" Mirxalyn's popping voice beside me, jolting me up. Before my mouth could utter a word, my fist had been launched, punching her face with the back of my knuckle. I braced for the impact, but I felt a hand and heard a teasing giggle. "Not the face, my love." I'm speechless when heat spreads all over my body from a warm kiss on my temple. "Morning."
My cheeks heated up, but instead of hiding behind a pillow, I frowned, acting like a grumpy old man in the morning. Yet, the corner of my lips betrayed me, curling up in amusement. It was such a simple gesture that brightened my day in a way I couldn't ignore. I love it, but I wasn't ready to admit it aloud, not to her, not yet.
I forced myself to control my smile, tried to hide the warmth spreading through my chest, and commented, "You're really trying…"
Mirxalyn studied me, her eyes softening as she smiled gently. "Because I hear you."
She leaned in, giving me space to push her away, but I didn't. I stayed. Every fiber of my being was pulling me closer, a silent scream I could not ignore. I knew it was a mate pull tugging at me, but beneath that, something deeper stirred—something unstoppable. Then she kissed me. The same breathtaking kiss she had given me at our wedding—marking, claiming, yet honest in its tenderness.
When we pulled apart, I was panting, our foreheads resting against each other as we savored the serene intimacy of the moment.
"I always hear you." She whispered, pressing a kiss on my temple before settling her things on the desk.
I frowned, pondering her words. "Hear me? Is she referring to my voice or my thoughts?" I watched her move around our bedroom, studying her when I recalled my studies. Then I asked. "Mirxa, when will I be attending Blood Knight Rose Academy? Your Mom – I mean, Mama, she said that I'm continuing my studies there."
She paused, thinking about it for a second before answering me. "About that, your doctors gave us their assessment of your improvement lately." She glanced at the file on her desk, rereading the notes, most likely about my improvement. "And from what they reported to us, we decided you'll start school alongside Amelia and Allison. I think their classes will resume next week." I nodded, but Mirxalyn's gaze stayed fixed on me, curious and asked. "Are you ready for school?"
I hesitated. "I am not sure...nervous, I guess?" My voice held a trace of skepticism and unease. "I don't know. I don't have a nice memory about school."
Mirxalyn noticed. She stepped closer, kneeling in front of me. "Bernila, I can't promise people won't try to challenge or bully you, but remember—you're different now." She convinced me and lifted my chin up to meet her steady gaze before adding, "Look at yourself, who you were before is different from who you are now. I know you doubt yourself, and it's given. It's natural—we all have it. But we do what we must, for ourselves and for those we love." Her words were filled with truth and encouragement. Then she continued. "This time, my love, look at the good changes in you. Embrace it—because you earned it, and see how remarkable you've become."
Changes had come, yes, but I still couldn't bring myself to see them clearly. Fear and doubt clung tightly. Scared of the uncertain path ahead. I was afraid to commit to this new version of myself, yet I knew I couldn't stay the same. I made a choice—I had to push forward, to see and believe in who I was becoming. Mirxalyn wanted me to see that.
Skeptical, but I managed to ask, "Is that how you see me?"
"More than you know." She smiled and kissed my temple again, tender and reassuring. Then she told me her plans for the day. "I'll go now. There is something to check at the southern port. And don't skip meals—whatever you're up to."
"Of course, you knew." I rolled my eyes with mock exasperation, but I nodded, giving her assurance. "I'll keep that in mind." I got up from the bed and gave her a playful shove. "Go, you don't want to be late."
"Bernila. Do. Not. Skip. Meals. I will know if you do." Her stern warning made me sigh, nodding, before she added. "Call me whenever you need me. I'll be there as soon as I can."
"I will. Go, or I'll kick you out myself." With a fake annoyance, I challenged, which was surprising when I was the timid one.
"Can you?" She challenged back, amused.
"Mirxalyn." I gave her a warning glare, and she laughed before vanishing in thin air. "This woman...my wife is so annoying."
***
The rest of the morning followed the usual routine, but everything changed once I stepped onto the training field. I joined the Wolf Knights for their regular training. To my surprise, my body adjusted quickly to the physical endurance they demanded. I found my agility was faster than before, and my reflexes heightened to their peak. I dodged several attacks during the run, and my combat skills grew stronger, sharper as I either pinned the opponents down or forced them to shift back into their human forms.
The knights were impressed, their praise catching me off guard.
"You're remarkable," Sasha said with genuine admiration, and the others nodded in agreement. "I won't be surprised when you rank up to gamma soon."
"I wish." I laughed, disbelief tinging my voice.
"Ohho, humble. I like it." Jake, one of the best epsilon fighters, chuckled, but he quickly went serious. "But listen here, Bernila, all of us could feel it."
I was taken aback, laughing sheepishly, unsure if I deserved the praise. But to hide my doubt and wonder, I joked. "Even so, I'm not a fan of combat training. My braincells still need books."
"Ah, nerd." Jake teased and joined the others, leaving Sasha and me alone.
Sasha stepped closer, her eyes softened, but her steady voice caught my attention. "Bernila, I know you're doubting yourself, but we all see it. We felt it."
My mouth opened to deny it, but nothing was coming. Instead, I whispered, a touch of sadness in my tone, "But I'm wolfless."
"That doesn't define who you are. You're a werewolf shifter—wolfless, yes, but still a gamma," she said firmly, leaving no room for argument. Then she added, "Not just by blood. You had it in you. Try to see it. Try to see the changes, focus on them, and not on the old ones. " Her heavy pat on my back almost made me stumble, but it helped. It steadied me. "We're looking forward to your awakening, Gamma Bernila."
I was about to refute, but she was already jogging back to the rest of the knights. I sighed heavily as I walked back inside the manor, weighing her words echoing in my mind along with the looks from the knights—as if they saw something in me I hadn't dared to acknowledge. I pushed the thought aside, freshened up, and followed my usual routine around the manor.
Later, I went to the greenhouse—the same one I received after our marriage—filled with arts and crafts, the grand piano still resting in its familiar spot. Before I could check more around, my two well-crafted swords began glowing, calling me.
I smiled. "Something misses me." I chuckled, grabbed both, and swung them with practiced precision. The swords radiate in power, happy to be wielded by me again. "Still in shape..." I kept my pace, letting my swords dance with precision, but something else happened. As I gave a final swing, both swords glowed brighter, blinding until my knees buckled and I panted. "What just...happened..."
I glanced at my swords, floating before me as if they wanted to say something. When I barely touched them, a jolt electrified my entire body. My chest tightened, as if all the air had been sucked out, which lasted for a second before I heard a clicking sound, and then, there was nothing. Everything went blank.
I wasn't sure how long I was unconscious, but when I awoke, the sky was already darkening. My swords still floated nearby, watching silently. I sighed and grabbed them before I put them back in their scabbard, puzzled. "What happened?" I stared at the swords, hoping for an answer, but they remained silent. I glanced at a nearby painting before leaving the greenhouse. "My head is a mess," I headed back to the manor, trying to calm my racing mind from Sasha's words, from the oddness of my crafted swords, and lastly, from the clicking sound whispered in my ears before I collapsed. "I need a distraction."