"Mr. Chen, may I ask what your relationship is to Lin Wan?"
Li Jin asked calmly, while quietly observing the man sitting on the couch across from her. He had barged in early this morning, and there had been a scheduled appointment, but he had immediately sent the client next door with a few bills for tea. This somewhat absurd behavior left her speechless. Combined with his anxious expression, she had subconsciously made a preliminary diagnosis of anxiety disorder. However, after a perfunctory apology, he immediately inquired about Lin Wan's condition. Apparently, this was his real purpose.
Upon hearing the question, Chen Jin instinctively wanted to respond with "Her man," but after a moment's thought, he instead said, "The one who made her into this person."
"I'm sorry, but that's patient confidentiality, and we cannot disclose that information," Li Jin replied.
Chen Jin scoffed and said, "Don't give me that routine." Realizing his tone had been too harsh, he softened his voice slightly, "Sorry, I'm just anxious. Her condition is very serious—she even attempted suicide not long ago, and recently, she's been having nightmares frequently…"
"That's due to hallucinations."
"Hallucinations?"
Li Jin paused for a moment and then asked, "Mr. Chen, do you love her?"
Chen Jin froze.
"Lin Wan's condition is indeed very serious. From what we can see, it's unlikely that she'll recover on her own. But I need to confirm if you're the one who can help her…"
Chen Jin didn't really hear what the woman was saying. His mind was filled with the sound of two stones clashing, creating sparks of inspiration, and then, like a flash of lightning slicing through a stormy sky, it illuminated his previously chaotic thoughts. All the questions he had never understood or had been unwilling to face had been answered in that instant. Yes, he loved her. He loved Lin Wan. If it had only been a simple infatuation with her body, it wouldn't have lasted this long. If it had been a desire to conquer her, she would have long given up resisting. He could throw his life away to save her, abandon everything for her. When she had aborted their child, his heart had shattered. Watching her slowly lose herself, he had been lost too…
"Yes, I love her." The answer came quickly, but those four words seemed to drain all his strength, and his voice trembled, almost choking with emotion.
Even the ever-calm psychologist was momentarily stunned, forgetting to speak for a moment. It was Chen Jin who broke the silence. "Now, can you tell me what's wrong with her?"
Li Jin quickly regained her composure and, with a serious expression, said, "Lin Wan is suffering from depression. By severity, it's classified as major depression. Furthermore, her hallucinations are frequent and persistent, meaning her depression is accompanied by psychotic features."
"Psychosis?" Chen Jin immediately tensed at the word, unconsciously repeating it, his face turning pale.
"It's not exactly psychosis, but it has some psychotic characteristics. However, if left untreated, it could develop into schizophrenia. At that point, it would transform from a psychological disorder into a full-blown mental illness," Li Jin explained.
"Schizophrenia?" Chen Jin's pupils constricted at the word, and he repeated it in disbelief, his face showing clear signs of distress.
"Not quite schizophrenia yet," Li Jin clarified. "But if her condition isn't managed properly, it could lead to that. It's important to act quickly."
Chen Jin's mind was still struggling with those words. Scenes of Lin Wan's frantic, hysterical episodes flashed in his mind, and a dull pain began to throb at his temples. His hand, which had been resting on the sofa arm, involuntarily clenched into a fist.
"Mr. Chen, are you alright?" Li Jin asked, noticing his reaction.
Chen Jin was snapped out of his thoughts. He rubbed his head and asked, "So what should we do now?"
Li Jin sighed and said, "At this stage of depression, treatment mainly relies on medication or physical therapy. However, Lin Wan's case is more complex. She has a strong defensive mindset and has become very self-isolated. She's unwilling to cooperate with treatment, and this is quite similar to what we see in patients with severe mental illnesses. She fears being judged, even fears being institutionalized."
Chen Jin waved his hand. "I'll handle that." He paused and then asked, "I heard you have recordings of the sessions. Can I listen to them?"
"That requires the patient's consent," Li Jin replied. "Lin Wan didn't consent to the recording at the time."
Chen Jin's face fell, and he felt a wave of disappointment. He had never encountered a problem as difficult as this one. His mind was swirling with thoughts, but he couldn't seem to find a useful lead.
"But she did tell me some things, and I remember them clearly. She mainly talked about some things from her childhood. What stuck with me most is that she mentioned her father being so busy with work that he often forgot to pick her up from kindergarten. Sometimes, he would go on business trips and lock her in the house, leaving a large box of cookies for her to eat. She was scared, and she would imagine that someone else was in the house with her. Sometimes it was her father, sometimes her mother, or sometimes a classmate from kindergarten. She would talk to them, and she would play both roles herself. I think this may be one of the reasons why she experiences hallucinations," Li Jin said, thoughtfully.
Chen Jin didn't respond immediately, but inwardly, he felt his heart twist. A part of him was breaking as the words pierced into the most sensitive parts of his being. His throat tightened, and he felt a burning sensation in his chest, as if he had swallowed something sharp, like vinegar or diluted sulfuric acid, scorching his insides.
As Li Jin continued talking, he felt as if his whole body was being consumed by a slow, suffocating burn.
Before he realized it, she asked softly, "Mr. Chen, do you know what love is?"
Chen Jin was jolted by her question, frozen for a second before he murmured, "I'll learn how to love."
"That's good," Li Jin said, with a touch of sadness. "To be honest, everyone who comes to see me is pitiful, but Lin Wan is the one who makes my heart ache the most. She's only been here twice, and each time, she spent most of the time crying. She's just so repressed…"
Chen Jin didn't let her finish. He interrupted quickly, "Thank you, Dr. Li. I'm sorry to have troubled you." He got up hastily and left, his mood much heavier than when he had entered. The truth, once revealed, was far more painful than ignorance.
The sun outside was shining brightly, an unusually beautiful day for early winter, but inside, his mind was flooded with storms. He quickly reached his car, pressed the key fob, and slammed the door shut. Leaning his arm on the steering wheel, he buried his head in his hands.