"Just where the hell are you trying to bury your face?!"
Tsunade's joyful tears halted mid-stream as she felt a certain pressure against her chest. With a sharp yank, she pulled Raimon's head back from the depths of her 'Planetary Devastation,' a fierce blush spreading across her cheeks even as her eyes glistened.
Raimon offered a sheepish, unrepentant grin. "Hehe~ Can't help it! A man's instincts are hard to suppress, even in death."
"You idiot… You're really here. You're really back," she whispered, her voice thick again, and pulled him into another crushing embrace, burying her face in his shoulder. For Raimon, in his Edo Tensei form, the sensation was muted, a poor imitation of the warmth and softness he remembered. A real body would have been far more… appreciative.
"I thought… I thought I'd never see any of you again!" The dam broke, and years of grief poured out between shuddering breaths. "Grandpa Hashirama died… Then Grandpa Tobirama… Then you… Then my little brother Nawaki…! Even the last of our clan's Wood Release users died trying to revive a legacy that was already gone!" Each name was a fresh wound, her tears soaking into the fabric of his coat.
Gently, Raimon cupped her face, his thumbs wiping away the streaks on her cheeks. His touch was cool, a reminder of his unnatural state, but his voice was warm. "I'm here now, aren't I? It's going to be okay. I promise. We'll bring them all back. Everyone."
His mind was already calculating. Once Tsunade was securely in the Hokage's seat, he'd 'rehabilitate' Orochimaru. The snake Sannin's genius could be channeled. A few ethically… flexible research projects should keep him occupied. And if the snake got restless? Well, liberating Shisui Uchiha's Kotoamatsukami from Danzo would make for a very persuasive leash.
Finally, after what felt like an eternity of shared sorrow and silent comfort, Tsunade released him. A living man would have been gasping for air. "This is… Grandpa Tobirama's Kinjutsu. Edo Tensei," she stated, her medical-kunoichi intellect cutting through the emotion. She knew of it—an imperfect, ghastly technique from her grandfather's notes.
"Yeah. Orochimaru… refined it. I got lucky. Knew enough of the groundwork to break his control." Raimon couldn't help but acknowledge the Nidaime's terrifying brilliance. Give that man a few more years, and who knows what world-altering forbidden jutsu he would have concocted.
Her gaze then shifted to the wide-eyed Naruto peeking from behind Jiraiya, then back to Raimon with a frown.
"Why are you all out here? And with the Jinchūriki?" Her mind jumped to the worst conclusion. "Did something happen to the old man? Is that why you came to find me?"
"We came specifically to drag your stubborn butt back to Konoha," Jiraiya interjected, finally wiping the clear foot-print from his face. "After some… deliberation, we decided the Fifth Hokage's hat belongs on you."
Tsunade shot him a glare. "Why don't you take it, you lazy bum? You've got the strength and the title. Who would object?"
Besides that scheming Danzo, she mentally added.
Jiraiya laughed awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. "C'mon, Tsunade! You know me! I'm a free spirit! All that paperwork, those meetings… it'd kill my creative flow!" Not to mention his 'literary research.' Imagine the scandal: 'Konoha's Hokage, Author of "Make-Out" Series, Caught Peeping Again!' The village's reputation would never recover.
"Tsunade," Raimon said, his tone turning practical. "Take it for now. We just need to steady the ship. We can find a successor later." The current crop—Kakashi needed more experience and prestige before he'd be ready for the Sixth's seat. By the time the Rookie Nine were seasoned, the major storms might already be past.
Curiosity getting the better of her grief, Tsunade tugged at the sleeve of Raimon's standard-issue Edo Tensei garb. With a slight rip, the material disintegrated into papery ash, only to swirl and reform instantly on his arm. "Tch. So even your clothes are off-limits?"
A slow, knowing smirk spread across Raimon's face. "Heh. The downsides of a phantom body. You'll have to be patient. True resurrection first."
His plan was solidifying: Hokage Tsunade, Orochimaru recalled, then use Edo Tensei to temporarily bring back Hashirama, Tobirama, and Nawaki, keeping them discreetly in reserve. Then, when Nagato—that poor, misguided 'rice bearer'—made his move on Konoha, they'd let Naruto work his 'Talk no Jutsu' magic. The resulting Rinne Rebirth would be the ultimate reset button.
I just hope Nagato's body doesn't give out before he finishes the job…
A darker thought surfaced. "Did… did Hiruzen-sensei die?" she asked quietly, the memory of her 'winning streak' curdling in her stomach. Her curse demanded a price.
"Not yet. But he's on borrowed time," Raimon answered bluntly. He had no intention of being the one to swing the blade, but age, stress, and the coming upheaval would likely claim the old monkey soon.
"But I won money," Tsunade insisted, her superstitious dread returning in full force.
Hearing this, Jiraiya's playful demeanor vanished, replaced by solemn dread. When Tsunade's luck turned 'good,' fate always collected its debt.
"Tsunade won money?" Raimon stroked his chin, thoughtful. The list of people she cared deeply about was short. His golden eyes slid to Jiraiya.
The pervy sage squirmed under the gaze. "W-Why are you looking at me like that?! I haven't picked a fight with anyone lately!"
"Are you sure about that?" Raimon mused. Jiraiya's investigations into the mysterious Akatsuki were getting dangerously deep. With their tailed beast hunt commencing after the Chūnin Exams, they'd have less reason to stay hidden and more reason to eliminate persistent nuisances.
Jiraiya paled. "Cough… You're not saying I'm the one who has to die to balance her luck, are you?"
"It's a statistically possible outcome," Raimon said with a clinical nod.
"You bastard! Don't say it so casually!"
"Enough," Raimon said, pulling Tsunade close again. "Don't dwell on it. Maybe the 'curse' doesn't apply anymore. Not now that I'm back."
****
After a half-day's journey spent at a leisurely pace, the group made camp as the sun dipped below the trees. The atmosphere was… tense for one member.
"Will you two cut it out?! The lovey-dovey act is going to make me sick!" Jiraiya grumbled, poking a stick angrily at the campfire. They could have been back in Konoha hours ago via Flying Thunder God, but no, these two insisted on a scenic stroll, lost in their own world. His own long-held, faint hope of maybe comforting Tsunade someday had just been utterly demolished by a walking corpse.
THWACK!
"Shut up and cook the dinner, you ero-sennin!" Tsunade's fist connected with the top of his head, planting him face-first into the dirt, effectively silencing him.
"Uncle," Naruto whispered, crouched next to Raimon. "That old hag is scary strong."
"What did you just call me, you little brat?!" Tsunade's head snapped around, her eye twitching. Even a whisper couldn't escape her sharp hearing.
Naruto squeaked and ducked fully behind Raimon. "G-Granny! Granny Tsunade!"
"Why you—!" Tsunade raised a fist, glowing with chakra.
"Raimon! Control your nephew!" she huffed, turning to him with a pout that looked utterly bizarre on the legendary Slug Sannin.
Raimon patted her shoulder placatingly.
"Easy. The kid grew up alone. No one ever taught him manners." A phantom craving for a cigarette hit him—a sensation his Edo body couldn't even properly simulate.
The words sobered Tsunade. She remembered leaving funds, making requests to Hiruzen to ensure the boy was cared for. From the sound of it, and from Naruto's rough-around-the-edges demeanor, those wishes had been ignored. The old man had failed yet another of his promises.
A new resolve hardened within her.
"Fine," she stated, her voice firm. "I'll take the hat."
She would return. She would change that stagnant, corrupt village. She had Raimon back, and she had her team. Alright, Konoha. Your princess is coming home to clean house.
"We'll rest here tonight," Raimon declared. "Once it's light, I'll use Hiraishin to get us back to the village quickly. Our leisurely time ends there."
***
Swish. Swish. Swish.
The shadows around the flickering firelight moved. Dozens, then scores of figures emerged from the darkness of the forest, silent as ghosts, forming a tight, hostile ring around the five of them. They wore no village insignia, but they were in the Land of Fire, mere miles from Konoha. Only one person in Konoha had the authority and the audacity to deploy a small army of unmarked shinobi.
From the front line, a figure stepped forward, his right arm and eye heavily bandaged, his presence dripping with cold authority. Shimura Danzo.
A thin, cruel smile touched his lips. "I'm afraid your schedule has changed. If you stay here… you will have all the time in the world. Permanently."