Chapter 56 – The Christmas Feast
Morticia gave Russell a copy of Secrets of Advanced Dark Magic, an ancient edition that even included instructions for creating Horcruxes.
Gomez, meanwhile, presented him with a rapier. The blade was hollowed out, and after testing it, Russell discovered it fit a wand perfectly inside.
Cedric gave him a book about magical Quidditch balls—clearly hoping to spark Russell's interest in the sport.
Pugsley's gift was a box of homemade, old-fashioned explosives. Placed beside Wednesday's present—a bottle of cyanide—it formed what could only be described as a perfectly coordinated murder kit.
Yes.
Wednesday had given him cyanide again.
The difference this year?
It came in an extra-large bottle.
To Russell's surprise, Professor Corvey had also sent him a gift: a tiny animated mummy—apparently a thank-you for teaching him the Silent Step.
Russell stored everything except the mummy inside his dragon-hide pouch.
He had already prepared gifts in return, but since he didn't own an owl, he asked Lurch to deliver them at a nearby wizard gathering.
He sent Cedric a copy of How to Court a Witch. Russell was certain Cedric would appreciate it.
He also sent gifts to every professor—including Hagrid.
Snape's, however, was special.
Snape received two gifts.
One of them was a bottle of a branded Silky Hair Shampoo.
Naturally, Russell didn't sign his name.
He valued his life.
---
"Wednesday, Pugsley—Merry Christmas."
Russell handed them each a gift box.
They opened them immediately, only to find two eggs the size of footballs. Their small faces froze in confusion.
"...Ostrich eggs?" Pugsley ventured.
"No," Wednesday said flatly.
"These are dinosaur eggs."
"Not quite," Russell shook his head.
"Do you remember the eggs you ate the night you came to pick me up?"
"You mean… Acromantula eggs?" Pugsley's eyes lit up.
"Excellent! This time I want mine fried."
He immediately hugged the egg and tried to run for the kitchen.
Wednesday followed closely.
She wanted custard.
"Both of you—stop!"
Russell grabbed them by the collars and pulled them back.
"You're not eating these. They're alive."
"They're your pets."
He'd gone through a small war to get those eggs from Hagrid.
The price?
Leaving Ice Cream with him for an extended vacation.
Pugsley gasped in pure awe.
"Wait… you mean these can hatch into spiders the size of horses?!"
"This is amazing," he turned to Wednesday with excitement.
"We'll see whose spider is stronger!"
"Of course mine will be better," she lifted her chin proudly.
"I'm naming mine Ares."
She smiled.
And for Wednesday Addams—that was the highest expression of joy.
She had already given it a name before it had even hatched.
As for how dangerous they might be, Russell wasn't worried in the slightest.
After all, he hadn't even had the chance to taste an Acromantula yet.
By the time the sun dipped below the horizon and night fell, it was already time for the Addams family's Christmas banquet.
The manor driveway was packed with cars. Russell had the strange feeling that every Addams in the whole of England had shown up.
He met many new members of the family that night.
There was Hunchback Addams—and no, that really was his name—sporting a fashionable rooster-style haircut and only a few years older than Russell.
There was also an Addams who worked as a professional medium, a young woman who carried a candelabrum wherever she went. The white candle she held, she claimed, would never go out.
According to her, the day it finally burned out would be the day she died.
Hunchback Addams later whispered to Russell that it was all a lie—just part of her performance, meant to make her psychic powers seem more convincing.
In the main hall, as soft music drifted through the air, the Addams family and their guests took to the dance floor.
Russell's partner was, naturally, Wednesday.
His dancing, however, left much to be desired, and he nearly stepped on her foot.
"Follow my lead," Wednesday said calmly, not offended in the slightest.
Instead, she began to teach him properly.
As they danced, Russell suddenly noticed a small figure entering through the hall doors—a creature completely covered in thick, dark-brown hair.
It was short, no more than about a meter and a half tall.
"Oh! Cousin Itt has arrived!" Gomez released Morticia and hurried over.
"##%%¥#%," Itt spoke in a sharp, chirping voice.
And somehow… Russell understood him.
Long time no see.
"Russell, come here," Gomez waved enthusiastically.
Russell released Wednesday's hand with an apologetic glance.
"I'll be right back."
Before he'd taken even two steps, he felt Wednesday grab his hand again.
She followed him without a word.
Russell laughed helplessly.
"I'm not going anywhere."
She still didn't let go.
"This is Russell," Gomez announced proudly.
"Before long, I'm certain he'll be part of the Addams family."
"##%%¥#% (Nice to meet you, Russell. My name is Itt)," Cousin Itt bowed politely.
Russell returned the bow at once.
"It's an honor to meet you, Uncle Itt."
Suddenly, Itt turned his head as if he'd spotted something fascinating and immediately scurried off.
Margaret was dancing with Tully when she noticed something furry approaching from the corner of her eye. She stiffened in alarm.
"Tully! Keep hold of me!"
To her horror, Tully did the exact opposite—he nudged her straight toward the hairy creature and said solemnly:
"They're clients, Margaret. Always treat clients with respect."
Her disappointment was immeasurable.
As for Tully, he soon found himself trapped by a pair—or rather, one—pink-dressed conjoined twin ladies, who dragged him aside and began grilling him about Fester.
---
Russell and Wednesday took a break at a nearby table.
"Is Christmas always this lively?" Russell asked tiredly.
"Always," Wednesday replied calmly.
She showed no concern whatsoever for the oatmeal on her plate—which was writhing and screaming softly as she stabbed it with her fork.
Just then, the doors swung open with a bang.
Morticia wheeled Fester inside.
He looked far healthier now, dressed in an elegant black coat—though his expression was far more nervous than before.
Then came the performance.
Gomez and Fester launched into the Mamushka—a wild, aggressive, thunderous dance that resembled some kind of ancient war ritual.
They even dueled with swords in the middle of it.
The finale ended with Fester swallowing his sword whole.
The entire hall erupted in applause.
Russell clapped so hard his palms turned crimson.